Thread: Friend Request Acceptance

There isn't enough options available for accepting a Friend Request. No one should be forced to answer yes or no because there may come a time when the two might seriously agree or disagree on a topic and then who knows what could happen. I'd like to see a third option, a kind of generic response that fits the bill without creating a potential for a rift developing that could eventually destroy the friendship commitment. Just so you know where I'm coming from, please allow me to say this......

To all those who request my friendship: I don't believe in answering the request either affirmatively or negatively. Please do not take this as a personal insult. I do this because I consider everyone here my friend. All of us share in something common as a member of this forum. With that comes the understanding that I can expect at any time to be involved in a discussion that under normal circumstances might destroy a friendship. However, since we all possess an equal share and right of participation then I feel there is no reason to assemble a collection of allies. Furthermore I am anonymous. Anonymity has its own special characteristics, one of them is the appearance of being somewhat disconnected from the majority. I believe this allows me more freedom to speak, friendships aside.

I always felt the same way on this and for years, I just denied any and all friendship requests.

Then, later, I turned around and just accepted any and all friendship requests.
I never took the validation of a website saying "We're friends now!" all that seriously. I mean, after all... It's not like any of these friends would come out at 2am when my truck broke down or help me move.

As far as The Science Forum is concerned, a Friend is somebody who can view your Album, or to whom you can send links to a thread. Does anybody really use these features? I have turned down friends requests just on the basis that I don't use those features. It doesn't have to do with whether or not I think someone is an excellent or compatible person. By the fact that we are all members of The Science Forum, it means we share a common interest.

On the other hand, with something like Facebook, your friends list actually means something.

Originally Posted by zinjanthropos

I believe this allows me more freedom to speak, friendships aside.

I read this earlier and thought this seems a bit odd, I've had lots threads where I've not always agreed with people that are on my friends list, I actually think if you are friends with people it allows you for speaking with more freedom because if they are your friends they should be less likely to be offended, I always found friends more tollerant of my mistakes. Though I did like what you said about considering everyone your friend, this I thought was a nice sentiment which I think most of us share. But really I think the idea of having friends is just about showing other people that you respect them and what they have to say and pretty much like giving out likes, it's not a scorecard it about valueing the contributions of others. I have asked a few people to be friends and equally accepted some, infact I only ever turned one person down and likewise been turned down by one person, as the way I see it is doesn't cost me anything to accept and if someone has enough respect for me to want me as a friend well I'm going to certainly accept.

Originally Posted by Chrisgorlitz

I always found friends more tollerant of my mistakes.

It's spelled "tolerant." Get it right!

Originally Posted by Chrisgorlitz

it's not a scorecard it about valueing the contributions of others. .

It's "valuing." Oh nevermind, that does it.

I'm not your friend, anymore.

Woe my poor spelling will see me bereft of friends.

I was tired last night when I wrote this thread and I forgot one thing. Is it really necessary to e-mail the member to tell him/her that someone wishes to be friends when the same thing is recorded on the notifications tab? Personally I wouldn't want my significant other to know that Sexy Susan wants to be my friend. It is uncomfortable to say the least. The e-mail simply has to go.

Originally Posted by zinjanthropos

I was tired last night when I wrote this thread and I forgot one thing. Is it really necessary to e-mail the member to tell him/her that someone wishes to be friends when the same thing is recorded on the notifications tab? Personally I wouldn't want my significant other to know that Sexy Susan wants to be my friend. It is uncomfortable to say the least. The e-mail simply has to go.

You can adjust that in your settings.

That way, you can keep Sexy Susan on the downlow.

Originally Posted by Neverfly

Originally Posted by zinjanthropos

I was tired last night when I wrote this thread and I forgot one thing. Is it really necessary to e-mail the member to tell him/her that someone wishes to be friends when the same thing is recorded on the notifications tab? Personally I wouldn't want my significant other to know that Sexy Susan wants to be my friend. It is uncomfortable to say the least. The e-mail simply has to go.

You can adjust that in your settings.

That way, you can keep Sexy Susan on the downlow.

I thought I did that once. The adjustment, not Susan.

Still, the e-mail is redundant with unnecessary risk to the health of the receiver.

Originally Posted by Harold14370

As far as The Science Forum is concerned, a Friend is somebody who can view your Album, or to whom you can send links to a thread. Does anybody really use these features? I have turned down friends requests just on the basis that I don't use those features. It doesn't have to do with whether or not I think someone is an excellent or compatible person. By the fact that we are all members of The Science Forum, it means we share a common interest.

On the other hand, with something like Facebook, your friends list actually means something.

I wouldn't count on that. Ever see someone with over 10000 friends on facebook? What are the odds that they actually know who all those people are. I have a facebook account and I only allow my immediate family members claim me as a friend. So I have like 10 friends. My daughter has several hundred and most of the people she doesn't even know. Even back when I added all the people I considered friends and knew in person, it turned out that friendship didn't matter to most of them so I stopped using the word "friend" to describe anyone anymore. To me a friend is someone who genuinely cares about your well being, and I don't mean that they say they will pray for you when the shit hits the fan. I mean they will inconvenience themselves in order to actually lend a helping hand whatever that may be at the time. A friend is someone who says "How are you?" and they actually want to know and telling them."Fine" will get you the inquisition of your life.

I think the concept of friendship is gradually becoming a concept of the past an has very little to no place in modern society. Which is really sad if you ask me.

Originally Posted by zinjanthropos

Originally Posted by Neverfly

Originally Posted by zinjanthropos

I was tired last night when I wrote this thread and I forgot one thing. Is it really necessary to e-mail the member to tell him/her that someone wishes to be friends when the same thing is recorded on the notifications tab? Personally I wouldn't want my significant other to know that Sexy Susan wants to be my friend. It is uncomfortable to say the least. The e-mail simply has to go.

You can adjust that in your settings.

That way, you can keep Sexy Susan on the downlow.

I thought I did that once. The adjustment, not Susan.

Still, the e-mail is redundant with unnecessary risk to the health of the receiver.

I think you are pulling our chain. I have checked the members list and I don't see a sexy susan on the list. We have a member who says they have sexy blue feet, 3 variations of sexy angels, one sexy ninja, and 2 variations of sexy scientists and none of them seem to be active.

So tell us, who is susan? There are 11 different variations of Susan on here, but which one do you find sexy?

Originally Posted by seagypsy

So tell us, who is susan? There are 11 different variations of Susan on here, but which one do you find sexy?

LOL..... All of them


Update: I have changed my settings to not receive friendship requests. For the members that were in limbo, you are now on my friends list. The last friends I'll ever need to check a box for.