March 25th, 2008, 04:32 PM
Philosophy Jokes
What philosopher also plays with dough?
Answer: Pla-dough (play on Plato)
What philosopher can usually remove his socks seductively?
Sock-ro-tease (play on Socrates)
These, of course, are just for fun. Puns are always that way, fun. Not always funny, but maybe to some![/i]
You gotta work on the delivery, digiplaya. And on not explaining the joke afterward.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Here's a series of answers to that questionOriginally Posted by 425 Chaotic Requisition
Check it out!
http://philosophy.eserver.org/chicken.txt
Obviously,
They are excellent! ROFL!
Barry
A meteorology professor stood before his Meteorology 101 class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty glass mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a jar of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open spaces between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar and of course the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous yes.
The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and then proceeded to pour the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the grains of sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things -- your family, your partner, your health, your children, your friends, your favorite passions -- things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
"The pebbles are the other things that matter, like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else -- the small stuff.
"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out dancing. Play another 18.
"There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers."
JAck & Jill worked in a factory. Business was bad and the boss had to make a decision. So, should the boss lay Jill or Jack off?
Both Jack and Jill?
Here's a joke (just in case you didn't realise)
Dean, to the physics department.
"Why do I always have to give you guys so much money, for laboratories and expensive equipment and stuff.
Why couldn't you be like the math department - all they need is money for pencils, paper and waste-paper baskets.
Or even better, like the philosophy department.
All they need are pencils and paper."
Or the bigger question.
Why didn't someone drive over it?
Or just eat itOr the bigger question.
Why didn't someone drive over it?
Because the guy who made the chicken was a nice person. :wink:
My name is lavonee and i have found something about your topic in this site. So, I would like to share you.
Please respond me just you thing this is helpful for you.
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Bird.lavonee
Last edited by adelady; December 12th, 2012 at 04:51 AM. Reason: delete link
When I was 5 years old, I went to school to be Kind. Between 6 to 12 , I went to school to live with the Elements. Around 13, I learned to use my Middle Finger. From 14 to Graduation, I was taught how to get High. Early Adulthood, I was taught Abstinence and Not get Married and earned a degree for it. Then I decided a couple more years and did nothing but to "Get By" my own way and became a Master of Graduation. After that, I spent alot of time watching Bugs Bunny cartoons and He called me Doc.
This thread is 4 and a half years old.
Time to close it I think.
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