
Originally Posted by
Dywyddyr
The Numbers Game - draft script (partial)
Scene, early morning, Egypt 40,0000,0000 AC/ DC, sunrise, open desert
Camera zooms in slowly on a dust trail, which gradually reveals itself to be a string of camels wending their way along a dry track, various riders chat quietly to each other. Suddenly there's a burst of activity and a A-10 Warthog sandworm orbital battlestation disruption happens, one camel falls to the ground with a snap of its leg.
Close up on the screaming camel: They done got me boss! I'm a gonner! Tell my girl I didn't suffer and make sure my kids go to college.
The camel expires slowly, close up remains on his face, fade to:
Later in the day, busy market scene;
Trader 1: Salaam aleykum
Trader 2: Salamis? I don't like 'um - waddaya got?
Trader 1: Here are the camels my master promised you. But... one died on the way here.
Trader 2: I paid yer boss's skinny ass for 5 camels and he sends me four? What's he trying to pull?
Trader 1: But surely effendi, it's an act of god, you can't blame my master.
Trader 2: Damn right I'm offended, he's tryn'a stiff me!
They start shouting and arguing. Camera pulls back to reveal a group of people, neatly dressed and led by a salt-and-pepper haird man with a rigid military bearing, he reaches into his pocket, retrieves a wallet and shows the contents to the two traders:
Man: Gibbs, NCIS, what's the problem?
Trader 2: His boss is trying to cheat me, sent only four camels when I paid for five. What's it to do with you?
Man (Gibbs): Camels are the ships of the desert, that makes it a naval matter. McGee!
McGee: Boss.
Gibbs: These guys are talking numbers, geek territory, it's your ground. Find out what the problem is.
McGee and the traders go into a lengthy technical discussion, involving the words "four" and "five". McGee nods his head and turns to Gibbs:
McGee: It's like this boss - he sent only four camels when he paid for five.
Gibbs: Good work work McGee. Think you can do anything here?
McGee: Well, I could jiggle the framistat, quantumise the wiggly bit then put my left leg in and shake it all about before...
Gibbs: In English McGee.
McGee: Sorry boss. This guy could owe this guy one camel.
Gibbs: Owe?
McGee: Yeah, He could promise (and cross his heart) that next time he gets a camel it goes straight to this guy.
DiNozzo and David (together): That's crazy, but it just might work.
Gibbs explains this to the two traders, with a look of astonishment they agree and shake hands.
NCIS walk away, another case solved.
Gibbs: Good work McGee, I think your solution will solve a lot of problems in the future. Any idea what we should call this type of numbering?
McGee: Negative, boss.
Gibbs, taking the last sip of his coffee: That's good enough for me, write it up.