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Thread: An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar.....

  1. #1 An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar..... 
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    The cosmonaut turns to the astronaut and says, "You know, comrade, we were the first to go to space."

    The astronaut returns, "Well that may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon."

    The cosmonaut says, "Yes, but we will be the first to land on the sun!"

    The astronaut asks, "How would you do that? You would be burned to a crisp!"

    The cosmonaut states, "The Party provides for everything. We will go at night!"



    I still like that joke, even though it was a bit funnier when I first heard it years ago, while the US was still launching people into Outer Space.

    Greetings, I'm James, a middle-aged man living near Seattle, WA. I joined the forum to ask a couple of questions that have been on my mind, for a while. Hopefully some of the smart people here can provide answers.


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  3. #2  
    Forum Cosmic Wizard
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    Hello.


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  4. #3  
    Forum Professor scoobydoo1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by citizen James5218 View Post
    I joined the forum to ask a couple of questions that have been on my mind, for a while. Hopefully some of the smart people here can provide answers.
    Welcome to The Science Forum.

    Preempting your questions with our three customary freebies

    Answer #1: Yes, its Forty-Two.
    Answer #2: No, you may not.
    Answer #3: Yes, I am the prophesied Kwisatz Haderach.

    Additional questions will incur sage fees of $1.24 at local rates. Your sessions may be recorded for quality and training purposes. Have a nice day.
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  5. #4  
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    Quote Originally Posted by scoobydoo1 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by citizen James5218 View Post
    I joined the forum to ask a couple of questions that have been on my mind, for a while. Hopefully some of the smart people here can provide answers.
    Welcome to The Science Forum.

    Preempting your questions with our three customary freebies

    Answer #1: Yes, its Forty-Two.
    Answer #2: No, you may not.
    Answer #3: Yes, I am the prophesied Kwisatz Haderach.

    Additional questions will incur sage fees of $1.24 at local rates. Your sessions may be recorded for quality and training purposes. Have a nice day.
    James don't believe scoobydoo1 - not him, I AM.
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  6. #5  
    Universal Mind John Galt's Avatar
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    Welcome to the forum. Just be sure you distinguish the nutters from the knowers when you check the answers to your questions.
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  7. #6  
    Forum Radioactive Isotope cosmictraveler's Avatar
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    What did Mars say to Saturn?
    (Give me a ring sometime!)


    When is the moon the heaviest?
    (When it's full!)



    [SIZE=3]Why didn't the sun go to college?
    (Because it already had a million degrees!)/SIZE]



    How do you organize a space party?
    (You planet!)
    When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.
    Jimi Hendrix
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  8. #7  
    Forum Cosmic Wizard
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    Quote Originally Posted by citizen James5218 View Post


    In America you sit in bar. In Soviet Russia, bar sit on YOU.
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  9. #8  
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    Hello dan hunter....scoobydoo1.....Robbitybob1.....John Galt.....cosmictraveler.....billvon.

    Thanks for the welcome.
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  10. #9  
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    Quote Originally Posted by scoobydoo1 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by citizen James5218 View Post
    I joined the forum to ask a couple of questions that have been on my mind, for a while. Hopefully some of the smart people here can provide answers.
    Welcome to The Science Forum.

    Preempting your questions with our three customary freebies

    Answer #1: Yes, its Forty-Two.
    Answer #2: No, you may not.
    Answer #3: Yes, I am the prophesied Kwisatz Haderach.

    Additional questions will incur sage fees of $1.24 at local rates. Your sessions may be recorded for quality and training purposes. Have a nice day.

    I understood the Forty-Two reference, but had to look the other one up.
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  11. #10  
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    Quote Originally Posted by cosmictraveler View Post

    What did Mars say to Saturn?
    (Give me a ring sometime!)


    When is the moon the heaviest?
    (When it's full!)



    [SIZE=3]Why didn't the sun go to college?
    (Because it already had a million degrees!)/SIZE]



    How do you organize a space party?
    (You planet!)



    I'm fond of Astronomy jokes, since I took up Space in college.
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  12. #11  
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    Quote Originally Posted by billvon View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by citizen James5218 View Post
    In America you sit in bar. In Soviet Russia, bar sit on YOU.




    Haven't heard about Yakov Smirnoff in a while. I looked him up. He now has his own small theater in Branson, MO, where he performs regularly. He's also a professor at Missouri State University. He seems to be doing pretty well. What a great country!
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