Notices
Results 1 to 30 of 30

Thread: smpx: Computational Theoretical Physics

  1. #1 smpx: Computational Theoretical Physics 
    Suspended
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    17
    Hi all,

    I'm a theoretical computational physicist.
    I have come to this forum in the hope to find other passionate academics who would like to build a team of developers for high performance computing and who have an interest in the development of an independent research team.
    There are a number of project currently under development which are very likely to result in a number of published works. If you are at all interested in this type of endeavour or you would like to participate, please drop me a line. I would be happy to speak with you.

    I am also very interested to speak with people that have skills in game development, in particularly the development of physics engines and general high performance computing.

    smpx


    Reply With Quote  
     

  2.  
     

  3. #2  
    Forum Ph.D.
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    940
    Quote Originally Posted by smpx View Post
    Hi all,

    I'm a theoretical computational physicist.
    do you have a degree ? a PhD ? from where ?

    I have come to this forum in the hope to find other passionate academics who would like to build a team of developers for high performance computing and who have an interest in the development of an independent research team.
    'high performance computing' software ? hardware ? seems to me that many already do this kind of work. it is nothing new. maybe since 1940s this has been a goal.

    this seems like spam to me. are you going to stay and contribute to forum ?


    Reply With Quote  
     

  4. #3  
    Suspended
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    17
    I'm sort of new to the forum business. I think its fair that I contribute. Though I would like to ask that you be a little more supportive for someone who has contributed some before receiving anything.
    I understand the quantity of rubbish you must put up with here. But there are some, including myself, that are not used to being spoken to as you have spoken to me. Without an apology for your aggressive attitude I don't think I will be returning to this forum, or any of the others that you host.
    Cheers.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  5. #4  
    Suspended
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    17
    I'm guessing you feel threatened by someone who maybe more qualified than you. Or perhaps someone who could show you up as a fraud. "Are you a fraud"?
    Reply With Quote  
     

  6. #5  
    Forum Ph.D.
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    940
    Quote Originally Posted by smpx View Post
    I'm guessing you feel threatened by someone who maybe more qualified than you. Or perhaps someone who could show you up as a fraud. "Are you a fraud"?
    i am not the one making boastful statements. instead of whining about me being mean why not just answer these simple questions to prove you are not a fraud:
    do you have a degree ? a PhD ? from where ?

    'high performance computing' software ? hardware ?
    Reply With Quote  
     

  7. #6  
    Forum Ph.D.
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    940
    Quote Originally Posted by smpx View Post
    I'm a theoretical computational physicist.
    "Are you a fraud"?
    i would not think a scientist would resort to ad hom attack at first minor questioning. a little thin-skinned for a scientist out in the real world.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  8. #7  
    Suspended
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    17
    I said Physicist ... this means I have completed post graduated studies in physics. In particular high energy physics. Though my focus (as noted in my original post) is computational theoretical physics my research work for my post grad studies was on Atlas at the LHC. I'm now working toward contributing to the simulation work on ITER. Since you asked I also hold degrees in Pure Mathematica and Computer Science.
    When I speak of HPC I mean from the perspective of a developer/physicist/mathematician not as a hardware engineer or some sort of tech. Though a good understanding of the hardware is important.
    What about you? Are you interested in these areas?
    I'm currently working a large GPU cluster and developing code for sphere packing. An opportunity exists for collaborators and possible co authorship.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  9. #8  
    Suspended
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    17
    Your questioning apart from not being minor implied that that I could be a fraud ... I could be .. even after the reply post. However, that you attacked with such an accusative tone suggests that the thought is in your mind as it would be for most true frauds. But we are here to talk science not to measure dicks.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  10. #9  
    Forum Ph.D.
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    940
    Quote Originally Posted by smpx View Post
    I said Physicist ... this means
    from wiki: "A physicist is a scientist who does research in physics."

    But we are here to talk science.
    go ahead. i am listening.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  11. #10  
    Suspended
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    17
    1 point to wiki ... now what about answering my questions?
    Reply With Quote  
     

  12. #11  
    Forum Ph.D.
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    940
    Quote Originally Posted by smpx View Post
    What about you? Are you interested in these areas?
    i am interested in many things. i do not know enough about what you do to be interested. maybe some of the members will be interested. dont know. we will see i guess.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  13. #12  
    Forum Ph.D.
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    940
    Quote Originally Posted by smpx View Post
    1 point to wiki ... now what about answering my questions?
    so you consider yourself to be a physicist but not a scientist. please explain.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  14. #13  
    Suspended
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    17
    Are you a moderator here?

    And of course I am a scientist ... where did you get that I considered myself not?
    Reply With Quote  
     

  15. #14  
    Forum Ph.D.
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    940
    Quote Originally Posted by smpx View Post
    And of course I am a scientist ... where did you get that I considered myself not?
    i said:

    i would not think a scientist would resort to ad hom attack at first minor questioning. a little thin-skinned for a scientist out in the real world.
    you said:

    I said Physicist
    i only have your words to go on. i can not see you in your laboratory.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  16. #15  
    Suspended
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    17
    Anyway good to meet you ... not sure I appreciate the trolling. Maybe you can find a way to contribute where we both gain.
    Cheers
    Reply With Quote  
     

  17. #16  
    Suspended
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    17
    If you have nothing to contribute I'm done here. This conversation is tedious and pointless.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  18. #17  
    Suspended
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    17
    I'm sure the forum will improve with time ... let me know if you need moderators. Best of luck.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  19. #18  
    Forum Ph.D.
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    940
    as a scientist ( no, sorry, i mean physicist) how do you survive out in real world ? when you get a few proper questions do you just start name-calling, then quit and leave the lecture hall ?
    Reply With Quote  
     

  20. #19  
    Suspended
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    17
    I will help you with your posts when you start behaving yourself. You can start by answering my questions instead of trolling.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  21. #20  
    Suspended
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    17
    After a year working for a shitty little newspaper in a shitty little redneck town, I was so desperate to leave my job in Unpleasantville that I took a "temp" job offered to me by a recruiter. The assignment was to last "at least until Christmas", which meant a good two months, and I felt this would give me plenty of time to find a real job.

    The temp job was some 35 miles away, and I had to drive through three traffic jams in each direction to get there and back. But it paid rather well, and anything beat dealing with the slobbering slack-jawed yokels, incompetent co-workers and horrific odor of Unpleasantville.

    The work itself, however, left much to be desired. The company I went to work for was an internet start-up called iChristian.com. They were developing a website from which they would sell Christian books, videos, CDs, software, and bibles. Ugh!

    I worked in a tiny room with seven other temps, about five other permanent employees, and our boss, Bruce, who sat right next to me. Our job was to prepare the above mentioned items for online perusal. One girl edited video all day long, choosing snippets of the awful Christian videos and turning them into short QuickTime or MPEG movies for previewing. One guy did basically the same thing with the music CDs. The rest of us simply scanned in the covers of the CDs, videos, software, books and bibles. Actually we scanned in much more than just the covers. For CDs, we scanned in the front, back, inside cover, spine, and even the CD itself. For boxed bibles, we scanned the front, side and top of the box, then the front, back, spine, and even some inside pages. The idea was that eventually they were going to have a little 3-D model of every product, so the customer could open the box and rotate the product all around to look at every surface.

    I usually handled books and bibles. You would be surprised at how many fucking bibles exist. There are study bibles, keepsake bibles, children's bibles, wedding bibles, and many different versions and sizes. So there was a never-ending supply for me to scan, along with those horrible Christian books, many written by evangelists and intolerant right-wing types, explaining the existence of god, the role of women in Christian society, what the Rapture would be like, and other similarly ridiculous propaganda.

    It was highly repetitive work. Most of us had a "workstation" consisting of a pair of brand new iMacs with a scanner and Photoshop.

    Among the eight temps in our little room, none were Christians. The tedium of the job was only broken at lunch or when Bruce was out of the room, when we would take the time to ridicule the products we were hired to put on display.

    After I was there a month or so, the website launched, just a month before Christmas. The orders began rolling in. Our job didn't change, but we did move to a much more spacious building in a completely different location.

    Now my drive was only 27 miles each way, but the traffic was much worse. However, we temps got our own nice big room away from the boss. Productivity dropped dramatically, not that Bruce was paying any attention anyway. Zak, the fellow next to me, sometimes would spend a whole day building an animation with Adobe ImageStyler, just as a personal training project. I spent quite a bit of time in chat rooms or just surfing the Net. Since most of our computers had CD-ROM drives, we would bring in headphones and listen to our own CDs all day long.

    Every once in a while, Zak would invite me to look at one of the CD covers he had just scanned and edited. He had a talent for hiding an image within a CD cover. The image was always that of a squirting penis. I remember him hiding one by modifying a shadow on the moon on a CD cover. You had to look for it in order to see it, but there it was: the shadow of a giant squirting penis on the lunar surface.

    After the website launch and our move, some of us, including myself, were asked if we would consider working there on a permanent basis. I said I would be interested; after all, the job was undemanding, it paid well, I had nothing else going, and I wasn't really making a commitment just by saying I was interested. It looked like we would be working there for a long time; there was certainly no shortage of product to scan.

    After arriving home from work one Friday afternoon just a week before Christmas, however, there was a message for me from the temp agency. I knew it couldn't be good news. The girl from the agency informed me that iChristian was having technical problems: Due to some programming screw-up, they had a backlog of some 10,000 to 20,000 orders that couldn't be fulfilled automatically. The Board of Directors had gotten together Friday afternoon and decided to "halt production" until the problems could be fixed, which they felt would take six to eight weeks. This meant that all eight of us temps would be canned at the end of the day Monday, December 20th. Merry Christmas!

    I heard later that the Board had also considered just giving up, shutting down the site and walking away from the whole mess.

    I wondered what the point of even continuing to work Monday was, but I dutifully reported anyway. None of us did any actual work. Zak continued to do silly animations, but I made a last request to him: One more squirting penis on a CD cover, please. He obliged by transforming an angel on the cover of a Gaither Gospel Series CD (see below) to a penis squirting a green substance. I was most grateful. I used to check the iChristian website every so often to see if the image was ever uploaded, but it never was. In fact, they still don't have their little 3D model working, so something like 80% of the work we did has never been used, and probably never will be. Considering that they were almost certainly paying the temp agency $40 or more an hour for each of the employees, and there were eight of us, they were really throwing away a shitload of money every day.

    Now, one of the company's Purchasers was a gruff fellow named Jim who always seemed to be peeved about one thing or another. But he was also a cynical bastard, which was not typical in a company whose permanent roster was staffed mostly by Christians. I was always able to answer his pointed questions directly and with honesty. I had nothing to lose really, since I was only a temp anyway, and I admired his rather negative attitude. So I was the only temp who really got along with him, as the other temps tended to shy away from him because of his somewhat abrasive nature. I became his "contact" among the temps.

    And so it was on my last day at iChristian that one of Jim's assistants, some shy Christian girl whose name I don't recall, presented me with a bible. She said Jim wanted me to have it. It was a study bible, very similar to the hundreds of bibles I had scanned while working there. Now, I have about as much use for a bible as a Republican has for a subscription to Playboy. But beyond that, it was sort of obvious to me that this bible was actually the property of iChristian, and Jim knew nobody would notice if he gave it away. I also wondered if it was a "double", a bible we had accidentally received two copies of. With no desire to take the bible home with me, I dumped it into the "to be scanned" box. I noticed that it landed on top of another bible -- its identical twin. Sure enough, it had been a double.

    I did, however, manage to part with a lovely literary gift. The guy who worked to my left had a brand new copy of the Adobe GoLive 4.0 User's Manual sitting on his desk. Naturally, it was his last day too, and I inquired as to whether the folks at iChristian would notice if that manual happened to disappear along with us temps. "They don't even know it's here," he said, handing it over without even being asked. This was a wonderful gesture, as I had a copy of the program but no current manual.

    And so it was that I managed to leave iChristian with a desirable parting gift that I truly deserved.

    It is unlikely that I will ever take a temp job again, unless I become horribly desperate. I would truly hate to be one of the iChristian's investors, knowing how much money was being flushed down a toilet by whatever idiots were supposed to be overseeing production. Christ, what a racket!

    EPILOGUE:
    iChristian was bought about 8 months later by a larger online Christian products store. I understand some of the 50 employees were offered jobs with the larger company -- if they didn't mind moving 3,000 miles.
    Aquent Partners, my contract employer, lied to me twice during the iChristian assignment. They told me a certain hourly wage, then reduced it by a dollar an hour on my paycheck, then denied ever having told me the higher figure. After the layoff, I applied for unemployment, which didn't turn out to be necessary, since I found work 4 days later. But Aquent Partners lied to the Unemployment Division, saying I wasn't laid off, but quit. They lied for no reason and no benefit to themselves whatsoever. Nice people, eh?
    Reply With Quote  
     

  22. #21  
    Forum Ph.D.
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    940
    wtf ? it has gone from spam to weird blog.

    Quote Originally Posted by smpx View Post
    After a year working for a shitty little newspaper in a shitty little redneck town, I was so desperate to leave my job in Unpleasantville that I took a "temp" job offered to me by a recruiter. The assignment was to last "at least until Christmas", which meant a good two months, and I felt this would give me plenty of time to find a real job.

    The temp job was some 35 miles away, and I had to drive through three traffic jams in each direction to get there and back. But it paid rather well, and anything beat dealing with the slobbering slack-jawed yokels, incompetent co-workers and horrific odor of Unpleasantville.

    The work itself, however, left much to be desired. The company I went to work for was an internet start-up called iChristian.com. They were developing a website from which they would sell Christian books, videos, CDs, software, and bibles. Ugh!

    I worked in a tiny room with seven other temps, about five other permanent employees, and our boss, Bruce, who sat right next to me. Our job was to prepare the above mentioned items for online perusal. One girl edited video all day long, choosing snippets of the awful Christian videos and turning them into short QuickTime or MPEG movies for previewing. One guy did basically the same thing with the music CDs. The rest of us simply scanned in the covers of the CDs, videos, software, books and bibles. Actually we scanned in much more than just the covers. For CDs, we scanned in the front, back, inside cover, spine, and even the CD itself. For boxed bibles, we scanned the front, side and top of the box, then the front, back, spine, and even some inside pages. The idea was that eventually they were going to have a little 3-D model of every product, so the customer could open the box and rotate the product all around to look at every surface.

    I usually handled books and bibles. You would be surprised at how many fucking bibles exist. There are study bibles, keepsake bibles, children's bibles, wedding bibles, and many different versions and sizes. So there was a never-ending supply for me to scan, along with those horrible Christian books, many written by evangelists and intolerant right-wing types, explaining the existence of god, the role of women in Christian society, what the Rapture would be like, and other similarly ridiculous propaganda.

    It was highly repetitive work. Most of us had a "workstation" consisting of a pair of brand new iMacs with a scanner and Photoshop.

    Among the eight temps in our little room, none were Christians. The tedium of the job was only broken at lunch or when Bruce was out of the room, when we would take the time to ridicule the products we were hired to put on display.

    After I was there a month or so, the website launched, just a month before Christmas. The orders began rolling in. Our job didn't change, but we did move to a much more spacious building in a completely different location.

    Now my drive was only 27 miles each way, but the traffic was much worse. However, we temps got our own nice big room away from the boss. Productivity dropped dramatically, not that Bruce was paying any attention anyway. Zak, the fellow next to me, sometimes would spend a whole day building an animation with Adobe ImageStyler, just as a personal training project. I spent quite a bit of time in chat rooms or just surfing the Net. Since most of our computers had CD-ROM drives, we would bring in headphones and listen to our own CDs all day long.

    Every once in a while, Zak would invite me to look at one of the CD covers he had just scanned and edited. He had a talent for hiding an image within a CD cover. The image was always that of a squirting penis. I remember him hiding one by modifying a shadow on the moon on a CD cover. You had to look for it in order to see it, but there it was: the shadow of a giant squirting penis on the lunar surface.

    After the website launch and our move, some of us, including myself, were asked if we would consider working there on a permanent basis. I said I would be interested; after all, the job was undemanding, it paid well, I had nothing else going, and I wasn't really making a commitment just by saying I was interested. It looked like we would be working there for a long time; there was certainly no shortage of product to scan.

    After arriving home from work one Friday afternoon just a week before Christmas, however, there was a message for me from the temp agency. I knew it couldn't be good news. The girl from the agency informed me that iChristian was having technical problems: Due to some programming screw-up, they had a backlog of some 10,000 to 20,000 orders that couldn't be fulfilled automatically. The Board of Directors had gotten together Friday afternoon and decided to "halt production" until the problems could be fixed, which they felt would take six to eight weeks. This meant that all eight of us temps would be canned at the end of the day Monday, December 20th. Merry Christmas!

    I heard later that the Board had also considered just giving up, shutting down the site and walking away from the whole mess.

    I wondered what the point of even continuing to work Monday was, but I dutifully reported anyway. None of us did any actual work. Zak continued to do silly animations, but I made a last request to him: One more squirting penis on a CD cover, please. He obliged by transforming an angel on the cover of a Gaither Gospel Series CD (see below) to a penis squirting a green substance. I was most grateful. I used to check the iChristian website every so often to see if the image was ever uploaded, but it never was. In fact, they still don't have their little 3D model working, so something like 80% of the work we did has never been used, and probably never will be. Considering that they were almost certainly paying the temp agency $40 or more an hour for each of the employees, and there were eight of us, they were really throwing away a shitload of money every day.

    Now, one of the company's Purchasers was a gruff fellow named Jim who always seemed to be peeved about one thing or another. But he was also a cynical bastard, which was not typical in a company whose permanent roster was staffed mostly by Christians. I was always able to answer his pointed questions directly and with honesty. I had nothing to lose really, since I was only a temp anyway, and I admired his rather negative attitude. So I was the only temp who really got along with him, as the other temps tended to shy away from him because of his somewhat abrasive nature. I became his "contact" among the temps.

    And so it was on my last day at iChristian that one of Jim's assistants, some shy Christian girl whose name I don't recall, presented me with a bible. She said Jim wanted me to have it. It was a study bible, very similar to the hundreds of bibles I had scanned while working there. Now, I have about as much use for a bible as a Republican has for a subscription to Playboy. But beyond that, it was sort of obvious to me that this bible was actually the property of iChristian, and Jim knew nobody would notice if he gave it away. I also wondered if it was a "double", a bible we had accidentally received two copies of. With no desire to take the bible home with me, I dumped it into the "to be scanned" box. I noticed that it landed on top of another bible -- its identical twin. Sure enough, it had been a double.

    I did, however, manage to part with a lovely literary gift. The guy who worked to my left had a brand new copy of the Adobe GoLive 4.0 User's Manual sitting on his desk. Naturally, it was his last day too, and I inquired as to whether the folks at iChristian would notice if that manual happened to disappear along with us temps. "They don't even know it's here," he said, handing it over without even being asked. This was a wonderful gesture, as I had a copy of the program but no current manual.

    And so it was that I managed to leave iChristian with a desirable parting gift that I truly deserved.

    It is unlikely that I will ever take a temp job again, unless I become horribly desperate. I would truly hate to be one of the iChristian's investors, knowing how much money was being flushed down a toilet by whatever idiots were supposed to be overseeing production. Christ, what a racket!

    EPILOGUE:
    iChristian was bought about 8 months later by a larger online Christian products store. I understand some of the 50 employees were offered jobs with the larger company -- if they didn't mind moving 3,000 miles.
    Aquent Partners, my contract employer, lied to me twice during the iChristian assignment. They told me a certain hourly wage, then reduced it by a dollar an hour on my paycheck, then denied ever having told me the higher figure. After the layoff, I applied for unemployment, which didn't turn out to be necessary, since I found work 4 days later. But Aquent Partners lied to the Unemployment Division, saying I wasn't laid off, but quit. They lied for no reason and no benefit to themselves whatsoever. Nice people, eh?
    Reply With Quote  
     

  23. #22  
    Suspended
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    17
    or one year, I worked as a web designer at a newspaper. This paper, which we'll call The Daily News, was in a little logging town, which we'll call Bumpkinville, about 40 miles north of the town I live in. The drive was mostly a stretch of 70 MPH freeway, so my commute was only about 35 minutes each way. Now, driving to Bumpkinville was like driving through a time machine that took you back 40 years. So it was a lot like the 50's there, minus the good parts. Remember the movie "Pleasantville"? Well, this was Unpleasantville.
    Bumpkinville, being a logging town, had paper mills. Four of them. So the entire town always smelled like an old person's armpit. Therefore, anyone with any ambition or brains tended to get the hell out of there, meaning the city was basically made up of retired people, most of them nearly deaf from working in the mills for years without ear protection, and uneducated idiots just too stupid for life in the big city 50 miles to the south.
    I was hired as part of the three-person Internet Department at the paper. It became clear early on that my boss, Kirk, knew nothing about the Internet. He had been the paper's owner's son's best friend all through school, and after stints as a Marine, a firefighter, and a financial controller for a southern California airport, Kirk wanted to move back to Bumpkinville. The owner's son offered him a job as Online Manager despite Kirk's complete ignorance of the Internet. After all, the owner's son was here on a free ride, so why not get his best buddy in line for the gravy train?
    However, Kirk had one skill, sort of: The gift of bullshit. He could make the yokels actually believe that he knew what he was doing, despite much evidence to the contrary. He could lie all day long without stopping to take a breath. When he hired me, he told me that 200 people worked there. I found out later it was more like 110. One day, I asked him why the Advertising Department was still stuck with Photoshop version 4.0 on their machines while our department had 5.0. He went into a big speech about he really took care of things in our department, while the other departments were lax in this area. A few minutes later, I realized I had gotten it backwards. Advertising had 5.0, and we only had 4.0. When I told him, he gave me a blank stare, which is what he always did when he got caught in a big lie, which was often.
    The other person in our department was a bright young girl named Karen. Being bright meant that she was overqualified for nearly any job in Bumpkinville, including this one, which was running an Internet Service Provider with 1800 customers. Since we were actually just an agent for a real ISP in the big city named Transport, and Transport was an incredibly unreliable provider, she spent most of the day on the phone with angry bumpkins. But she did her job well, and even went well beyond the call of duty at times.
    Once, Karen agreed to represent our newspaper at a local "Safety Fair", manning a booth from 9 AM to 1 PM on a Saturday. Kirk was supposed to relieve her at 1 PM. He never showed up, so she was forced to stay there until the fair ended at 4 PM. When she asked Kirk what happened, he said, "Well, I looked at my watch and it was 1:30, and I figured you were out of there by then, so I didn't bother." This was typical for Kirk, an irresponsible, lying piece of human garbage with rich parents, who had basically spent his whole life avoiding education and actual work. I remember he always spent Thursday afternoons golfing with the owner's son before the new management took over.
    Kirk was full of ignorant ideas befitting someone born and raised in Bumpkinville. At one point, he decided that we were going to "sell" our older, archived newspaper articles to the locals, like the LA Times does. He had me copy all the web pages relating to this from the LA Times website, changing the name of the newspaper to make it our own. He honestly believed the yokels would be willing to pay for past articles from our little turdtown newspaper. Naturally, that idea sank like a stone.
    And it's just as well, because the paper never did get a secure server running to deal with e-commerce transactions anyway, despite Kirk always telling the customers that it was forthcoming. The Information Systems department at the paper was, of course, staffed by a bumpkin too.
    Jay, an ugly, zit-covered loser from the IS department, had his own problems. Born and raised in Bumpkinville, Jay had made only one attempt to get out of town, which failed miserably. He was quite an accomplished computer geek, and a web-related company in the big city hired him. He lasted less than a day, returning to Bumpkinville in the afternoon and begging for his old job back.
    Jay was one of only two people in the IS department and before long the other person left, making almost everyone in the company dependent upon Jay for computer support. He used this "power" to bestow favors on people who pretended to like him, while putting off those who refused to pretend. Naturally, I was in the latter group. One day, I had trouble with a Jaz drive in my computer at home. I removed it and needed to test it on a computer with a SCSI bus. I asked for Jay's help, but he told me he didn't have the time. I knew this would take all of about 5 minutes. After Jay dropped by our office later that day to talk to Karen about nothing in particular, and hanging out for 20 minutes or so, I began to understand what a lying little asswipe he was. So, later on, with Jay about 40 feet away in another department, I popped the top of my own computer and did all the testing myself, right behind his back. He never found out. Which was a good thing, because Jay was weirdly possessive about all the computers, and he would have freaked out. He considered himself my boss, which he wasn't, but he was such an incredible kiss-up to Kirk that he could get away with anything.
    Jay had a complete lack of social skills. There was this really creepy way he'd get all giddy and excited every time he was around Kirk. You expected him to go down on Kirk at any moment, and he'd laugh out loud with this mulish braying every time Kirk said anything even halfway funny. This, combined with he and Kirk going out for long lunches together a lot, made a lot of people think he was queer. No wonder he lasted less than half a day in the big city. Here at The Daily News, he was hot shit. Once outside the building, however, he was just another lonely zit-faced freak. It was hard to believe that he had been married at one time, until you found out that he had impregnated his bride first. Not long before I started working there, she left him for some German guy she had met on the web but never met in real life, dropping off their daughter at Jay's mother's house and just disappearing for a while. I don't blame her. A judge, apparently recognizing Jay's many social handicaps, granted custody to Jay's ex-wife despite this.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  24. #23  
    Suspended
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    17
    Now, like all ugly losers who had been made shunned by nearly everyone while growing up, Jay had fantasies of being a policeman. When the paper was bought out by a conglomerate shortly after I was hired, they put up a firewall which was programmed to block any and all websites unsuitable for anyone under 18. This cut everyone in the building off from about a quarter of the web. I pointed this out to Kirk, and he laughed it off. No lazy little shit on a free ride like Kirk was going to make any waves with the new management. That was when I started looking for a new job. Eventually, reporters in the newsroom got the ban lifted by pointing out that they couldn't do much research with a huge chunk of the web off limits. The new management, which owned 11 other newspapers and should have known better, was amazingly stupid to have ever tried this in the first place.
    This bothered Jay immensely. He hated the idea of not being able to control what his co-workers could or couldn't see on the internet. But the new management still had a partial firewall in place, sort of a "Net Nanny" that could log when one of their workers went to certain types of sites. They had it set to notify Jay whenever someone went to an adult site on their computer. Now, the program was capable of informing on all kinds of sites -- entertainment sites, racist sites, religious sites, gambling sites -- but the management chose only to inform on adult sites. I remember Jay showing me the two dozen or so types of sites that could be selected, and bitterly informing me that if it were up to him, they would ALL be checked. What a voyeuristic, ignorant freak. After all, it didn't affect Jay in any way where anyone surfed to on the web. He just loved the idea of playing web cop. It was an opportunity to get back at a world that made fun of him throughout his childhood. He'll make a good Republican someday.
    One day, Jay and Kirk called me into their office to have a talk with me. I had visited one of the banned sites! Horrors! Now, "having a talk" with me was basically their only recourse. Firing me meant I could collect unemployment, so they were unwilling to do that. So they got together beforehand and made up some stupid story that was supposed to scare me. Jay went on about how at some places, anyone caught visiting a forbidden website was simply marched out of the building between two security guards and never allowed to return, no chance to tell his side of the story, no nothing. Right. It was a lot like two farm-boys telling me that I'd get mugged if I ever dared to venture into the big city. They could tell I wasn't buying it, which I'm sure bugged them to no end.
    The thing about Bumpkinville was, it was such an incredibly undesirable place to live, you wondered what the problem was with people who chose to live there. But you didn't wonder for long. Nearly everyone I worked with had some odd quirk or nutty problem that made them unfit for the big city.
    There was Kirk, with no work skills whatsoever, an irresponsible human leech. His best friend, the owner's son, left the company after the conglomerate took over, leaving Kirk with no future at the paper, which is a good match for his no skills. Even his wife, born and raised in Bumpkinville, wants to move back to California, showing that she has better sense than Kirk. Kirk is still working at the paper as of this writing although the Online department is supposedly going to be folded into the Marketing department, making him just another salesman instead of a department head. Apparently there's nobody for Kirk to leech off of in California.
    There was Jay, who both looked and acted like a weasel, the company's digital Barney Fife. He was working 12 hour days when I left. Hey, why not? After all, at home there's nothing for him to do but pop zits and masturbate.
    Their top ad salesman, a really nice and personable fellow named Scott, had this quirk: Whenever he laughed, he'd repeat the last thing he said while he was laughing. This would cause people who had never heard it before to look at each other with an expression on their face that said,"Did you hear that? What the hell is wrong with this guy?" It was just weird, and the type of thing that would make him a social outcast -- except in Bumpkinville.
    This sort of thing was not limited to the employees of The Daily News, however; the yokels who signed up for web access were pretty much the same story. A normal looking guy would walk in, and you'd be glad that, finally, someone intelligent-looking was about to sign up with the ISP. Then he'd open his mouth to reveal missing teeth, or a harelip, or he'd express what a relief it was to finally be out of prison. Most of the women over 30 in Bumpkinville had long since given up on trying to look good, and mostly consisted of waddling, obese, stringy-haired hose-monsters with masculine facial features. Often, they would come in to cancel their account because their husband or boyfriend was headed to jail.
    Just before I left The Daily News, the Marketing Manager left and was about to be replaced by a 26 year old squirt who's about 5 feet 6 and looks like he's 19. Most of the employees were calling him "Doogie" behind his back before he was even hired, but I saw Doogie walking around with the publisher one day wearing the same suit, which naturally caused me to label him with the moniker "Mini-Me". On my last day there, which was about three days before Mini-Me was to take over a department wherein everyone was much older (and taller) than he was, I saw that a box of business cards had been delivered to his desk. I took one out, crossed out his name and replaced it with the name "Mini-Me", and carefully placed it back into the box.
    After nearly a year of employment in Bumpkinville, I finally got out of there. I was the 58th person to leave the company, out of 110 employees, since the new management had taken over 6 months earlier. So desperate was I to leave that I took a job as a temp for an internet start-up named iChristian.com. But that's another Unspeakably Stupid Story.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  25. #24  
    Suspended
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    17
    PF kicks ass over this site
    Reply With Quote  
     

  26. #25  
    Suspended
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    17
    I just banned myself
    Reply With Quote  
     

  27. #26  
    Suspended
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    17
    Troll!
    Reply With Quote  
     

  28. #27  
    Genius Duck Dywyddyr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Scunthorpe, UK
    Posts
    12,045
    Quote Originally Posted by smpx View Post
    Troll!
    And nutcase.
    Bye.
    "[Dywyddyr] makes a grumpy bastard like me seem like a happy go lucky scamp" - PhDemon
    Reply With Quote  
     

  29. #28  
    Forum Ph.D.
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    940
    be careful. it may return. it states it is leaving then posts 5 more times.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  30. #29  
    Moderator Moderator
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Washington State
    Posts
    8,416
    For clarity, he was banned for spamming stories found from many other web sites.
    Meteorologist/Naturalist & Retired Soldier
    “The Holy Land is everywhere” Black Elk
    Reply With Quote  
     

  31. #30  
    Forum Ph.D.
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    940
    he was a very uppity spammer.
    Reply With Quote  
     

Similar Threads

  1. theoretical cosmology and physics
    By forrest noble in forum Links
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: April 6th, 2013, 09:57 AM
  2. Getting a Phd In theoretical Physics?
    By ThymineBOT in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: November 25th, 2012, 11:10 AM
  3. Exciting areas of theoretical physics?
    By sox in forum Physics
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: May 12th, 2010, 12:19 PM
  4. the next level of theoretical physics?
    By streamSystems in forum Personal Theories & Alternative Ideas
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: May 26th, 2007, 09:20 AM
Bookmarks
Bookmarks
Posting Permissions
  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •