Notices
Results 1 to 85 of 85
Like Tree20Likes
  • 2 Post By Deadally
  • 1 Post By Flick Montana
  • 2 Post By adelady
  • 1 Post By Neverfly
  • 2 Post By LuciDreaming
  • 1 Post By cosmictraveler
  • 1 Post By LuciDreaming
  • 1 Post By seagypsy
  • 1 Post By Neverfly
  • 2 Post By seagypsy
  • 1 Post By Neverfly
  • 3 Post By icewendigo
  • 1 Post By seagypsy

Thread: Hypoactive sexual-desire disorder (H.S.D.D.)

  1. #1 Hypoactive sexual-desire disorder (H.S.D.D.) 
    AI's Have More Fun Bad Robot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Washington state
    Posts
    6,114
    This is a new one on me, but it explains a lot, and I sure hope they get this pill perfected. The new female Viagra or something like that.

    Will 'Libido In A Pill' Help Women Get It On? | Popular Science


    Reply With Quote  
     

  2.  
     

  3. #2  
    Forum Freshman
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    West Virginia
    Posts
    32
    So basically it's an antidepressant, or I am mistaking something. As I understood it, those kinds of drugs tended to blunt a woman's desire.

    In many cases I've been privvy to, woman's lack of desire is simply her partner's inability to stimulate desire in her. How many cases can you find out there where a wife goes cold and decides she just doesn't have sexual feelings anymore, only to later initiate an affair with another man who is something new and interesting?

    It all seems to boil down to expectation (women aren't porn stars) and imbalance in the men (the traits that make you a desirable long-term partner may not make you all that attractive sexually, and a woman's libido is responsive). I believe physical problems are not always the case.


    Neverfly and babe like this.
    Care to read some more of what I have to say? Check out my blog!
    http://wwwscienceisforeveryone.net
    Reply With Quote  
     

  4. #3  
    Life-Size Nanoputian Flick Montana's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Flatland
    Posts
    5,438
    Now, what is the legality of slipping these into my wife's chicken florentine?
    Anonymous Thinker likes this.
    "Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." -Calvin
    Reply With Quote  
     

  5. #4  
    Suspended
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Apocalyptic Paradise
    Posts
    6,613
    Quote Originally Posted by Flick Montana View Post
    Now, what is the legality of slipping these into my wife's chicken florentine?
    Why would you want your wife to be sexually attracted to chicken florentine?


    Freak!
    Reply With Quote  
     

  6. #5  
    Malignant Pimple shlunka's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Dogbox in front of Dywyddyr's house.
    Posts
    1,784
    Finally, a replacement for ecstasy. I hope these are cheaper, last year's ecstasy purchases broke my bank.
    "MODERATOR NOTE : We don't entertain trolls here, not even in the trash can. Banned." -Markus Hanke
    Reply With Quote  
     

  7. #6  
    AI's Have More Fun Bad Robot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Washington state
    Posts
    6,114
    Quote Originally Posted by Deadally View Post
    So basically it's an antidepressant, or I am mistaking something. As I understood it, those kinds of drugs tended to blunt a woman's desire.

    In many cases I've been privvy to, woman's lack of desire is simply her partner's inability to stimulate desire in her. How many cases can you find out there where a wife goes cold and decides she just doesn't have sexual feelings anymore, only to later initiate an affair with another man who is something new and interesting?

    It all seems to boil down to expectation (women aren't porn stars) and imbalance in the men (the traits that make you a desirable long-term partner may not make you all that attractive sexually, and a woman's libido is responsive). I believe physical problems are not always the case.
    You could say the same thing about a man. Sameo sameo is not always stimulating enough to get a hard on, but a little blue pill about 30 minutes before and she can say is that for me. But for most men, once you have a hard on, it's much easier to put it to use. If a woman is not in the mood, it can be a real turn off. I don't know about you, but if the woman is not interested, I have a hard time putting in much effort to get her interested. As they say it takes two to tango.

    If that pill they are working on can make her horny and receptive, there won't be any problem with my love making.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  8. #7  
    Suspended
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Apocalyptic Paradise
    Posts
    6,613
    I dunno about a pill making someone interested. I'd think other qualities would be preferable to drugs.


    But then, I'm sexy so maybe my input here isn't applicable.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  9. #8  
    has lost interest seagypsy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    3,107
    Quote Originally Posted by Bad Robot View Post
    This is a new one on me, but it explains a lot, and I sure hope they get this pill perfected. The new female Viagra or something like that.

    Will 'Libido In A Pill' Help Women Get It On? | Popular Science
    Don't they already have one of these? Usually referred to as the date rape pill.

    With the intention of keeping this a lighthearted thread, Also Alcohol works wonders for most women if they want to get busy but are just shy.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  10. #9  
    AI's Have More Fun Bad Robot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Washington state
    Posts
    6,114
    Quote Originally Posted by Neverfly View Post
    I dunno about a pill making someone interested. I'd think other qualities would be preferable to drugs.


    But then, I'm sexy so maybe my input here isn't applicable.
    80-90% of good sex happens in the brain. The best sex I ever had was with a woman I didn't live with. When your apart and have your own space several days each week, it makes getting together much more intense. Probably because you are looking forward to getting together again, something that doesn't happen much when you've been living with someone for awhile.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  11. #10  
    Northern Horse Whisperer Moderator scheherazade's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Yukon, Canada
    Posts
    4,056
    I'm having a bit of a chuckle over this one, BR.

    For men, it's just a matter of 'bad plumbing to the apparatus', apparently. Increase the blood flow and you are back in business because most fellas are always 'eager'.

    With women, sex has the potential to be a huge commitment, not just a bit of R&R and there is that whole hormonal network to navigate. Personally, I would not be interested in taking any pill or drug that would interfere with my body chemistry.

    Of course women have sex when they are not 'in heat' and after menopause and the main 'stimulation' required is that of the mind.

    If you have to ask, you likely won't understand the reply, lol...

    Reply With Quote  
     

  12. #11  
    Moderator Moderator
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    city of wine and roses
    Posts
    6,225
    something that doesn't happen much when you've been living with someone for awhile.
    Strange. All the research shows that married people have a lot more sexual activity than those who aren't married.
    seagypsy and Neverfly like this.
    "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." Winston Churchill
    "nature is like a game of Jenga; you never know which brick you pull out will cause the whole stack to collapse" Lucy Cooke
    Reply With Quote  
     

  13. #12  
    Moderator Moderator
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    city of wine and roses
    Posts
    6,225
    Personally, I would not be interested in taking any pill or drug that would interfere with my body chemistry.
    As a post-menopausal woman, I'd like to put in some bouquets and sparklers at this point for the wonders of HRT. Menopause is not fun (for anyone in the immediate family) when the symptoms take over. A couple of years of a handy pill to "interfere with my body chemistry" was a fantastic boon to me, both, all of us.
    "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." Winston Churchill
    "nature is like a game of Jenga; you never know which brick you pull out will cause the whole stack to collapse" Lucy Cooke
    Reply With Quote  
     

  14. #13  
    AI's Have More Fun Bad Robot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Washington state
    Posts
    6,114
    Quote Originally Posted by seagypsy View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Bad Robot View Post
    This is a new one on me, but it explains a lot, and I sure hope they get this pill perfected. The new female Viagra or something like that.

    Will 'Libido In A Pill' Help Women Get It On? | Popular Science
    Don't they already have one of these? Usually referred to as the date rape pill.

    With the intention of keeping this a lighthearted thread, Also Alcohol works wonders for most women if they want to get busy but are just shy.
    But what do you do with a wife that just is not interested anymore? And she doesn't want a drink or two every time the man gets horny. How would you like it if NF had feed you date rape drug to get a little? Anyway we are not talking about dating or one nighter's here. We are talking about relationships going bad because of a real live medical condition HSDD. Now that this condition has got a name and can be diagnosed, something should be done about it.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  15. #14  
    Suspended
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Apocalyptic Paradise
    Posts
    6,613
    Easy- put the man on a diet and make him brush his teeth.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  16. #15  
    AI's Have More Fun Bad Robot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Washington state
    Posts
    6,114
    Quote Originally Posted by adelady View Post
    something that doesn't happen much when you've been living with someone for awhile.
    Strange. All the research shows that married people have a lot more sexual activity than those who aren't married.
    Not what I've heard or experienced, but then I was talking about the quality of the sex and not the quantity of it. I've heard that women that have a low libido, had real problems with there husbands when Viagra became available.

    schez

    As to not messing with your body chemistry, we do it all the time, every time we get treated by a doctor or take a drink of wine or other alcoholic drink. If you could take a pill and save your marriage, are you telling me you wouldn't do it for the man you love?
    Reply With Quote  
     

  17. #16  
    Moderator Moderator
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    city of wine and roses
    Posts
    6,225
    But what do you do with a wife that just is not interested anymore? .... We are talking about relationships going bad because of a real live medical condition HSDD. Now that this condition has got a name and can be diagnosed, something should be done about it.
    I'd suggest that it will be one more hurdle between a woman's metabolism and a proper diagnosis of really common problems that go unrecognised for years or decades. Thyroid problems are sometimes left undiagnosed in women who are "always tired", a bit "negative" or "weepy" or lacking libido - until they turn up as an emergency admission to a psych unit after a suicide attempt (a far too common way to be identified - it's often the first thing such units test for). Less common, but with similar links to general healthy functioning, are adrenal and other hormone regulating systems.

    When women go to doctors and mention libido as an issue, they're far too willing to go to estrogen/testosterone rather than to the endocrine systems that regulate those hormones or straight to counselling.

    Though I must say a man who does the vacuuming, cooks a meal or cleans up after a meal prepared by anyone in the family is a lot more appealing (especially if he brushes his teeth).
    "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." Winston Churchill
    "nature is like a game of Jenga; you never know which brick you pull out will cause the whole stack to collapse" Lucy Cooke
    Reply With Quote  
     

  18. #17  
    Moderator Moderator
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    city of wine and roses
    Posts
    6,225
    I've heard that women that have a low libido, had real problems with there husbands when Viagra became available.
    What I've heard is that these problems turn up when a man has been having problems that he's been unwilling to discuss and then suddenly thinks he's Adonis because he went a got a pill - without discussing it with the other person most affected. If the problem has been avoided in the first place, I'd suggest there are more problems than the bedroom in that relationship.
    "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." Winston Churchill
    "nature is like a game of Jenga; you never know which brick you pull out will cause the whole stack to collapse" Lucy Cooke
    Reply With Quote  
     

  19. #18  
    has lost interest seagypsy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    3,107
    Quote Originally Posted by Bad Robot View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by seagypsy View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Bad Robot View Post
    This is a new one on me, but it explains a lot, and I sure hope they get this pill perfected. The new female Viagra or something like that.

    Will 'Libido In A Pill' Help Women Get It On? | Popular Science
    Don't they already have one of these? Usually referred to as the date rape pill.

    With the intention of keeping this a lighthearted thread, Also Alcohol works wonders for most women if they want to get busy but are just shy.
    But what do you do with a wife that just is not interested anymore? And she doesn't want a drink or two every time the man gets horny. How would you like it if NF had feed you date rape drug to get a little?
    I'd divorce him, if he managed to get away before I killed him. For the one man you a woman should be able to trust beyond any other to betray her by forcing himself on her against her will is an offense against the marriage as well as the woman. A man who would force himself on his own wife cares more for his own desires than the happiness of his wife.

    A man can talk to his wife about the situation, counseling can be sought. It may be that he just needs to wear a different cologne. OR it may be that HER self esteem is low. I know when I start feeling fat and ugly I don't feel easy about NF approaching me, because I fear he will notice what I notice and loose desire for me all together.

    Maintaining attraction is something both people have to work on. You have to work to keep yourself desirable to your mate, but you also have help each other to realize that they are desirable to you. More often than not the lack of desire comes from within and has little to do with the other mate. Poor self image can be devastating.


    Quote Originally Posted by Bad Robot View Post
    Anyway we are not talking about dating or one nighter's here. We are talking about relationships going bad because of a real live medical condition HSDD. Now that this condition has got a name and can be diagnosed, something should be done about it.
    If the woman WANTS the pill I have no issue with it. Hell I have gotten drunk before just so I could go through with getting some from someone that I knew would be a one night stand. It had been that long since I had any. I had just broken up with a guy who I had been dating for a year and he had spina bifida. Sex with him wasn't an option.That wasn't why I broke up with him though. he was emotionally abusive to me and my kids. Anyway, I drank because I wanted some, I just didn't really like the option that was presented to me because one nighters are nto my thing. I still hate that it happened the one time. But I drank with the intent of getting some. If I was having a problem and for some reason was not able to get physically aroused in my marriage but still loved my husband, I may CHOOSE to take the pill and likely wouldn't tell my husband for fear that he would think he wasn't good enough by himself. I wouldn't want to know if he had to take viagra to get aroused for me. I'd feel as if I wasn't attractive enough or something. Irrational? maybe but we are humans. You gotta plan for irrational sometimes.

    But I don't think I would ever respect someone who demanded their spouse take a pill so that they could get some.I don't believe that anyone owes another individual sex. Married or not. It is on an event by event basis. And either party has the right to turn down sex for any reason they choose. Obviously if it happens to the point that the marriage is destroyed then they should either agree to work together to fix it or go their separate ways.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  20. #19  
    Northern Horse Whisperer Moderator scheherazade's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Yukon, Canada
    Posts
    4,056
    Quote Originally Posted by Bad Robot View Post
    schez

    As to not messing with your body chemistry, we do it all the time, every time we get treated by a doctor or take a drink of wine or other alcoholic drink. If you could take a pill and save your marriage, are you telling me you wouldn't do it for the man you love?
    Long term relationships are built upon a lot more than 'nookie', in my experience. 'Take a pill and save your marriage for the man you love'....sheesh, BR. Presuming that he loves me, my partner would not presume to conclude that I should just 'take a pill'. As you stated only a few posts back, 80-90% of 'sex' happens in the brain. Access the brain, leave the biology alone.

    (Last time I went to the hospital for an injury, they could not find me in the database, it had been that long since I had required medical attention.)

    Given the temporal nature of the physical body, both male and female, I would not partner with a man who was a slave to his penis. There's just far too much of interest in life to spend all of one's spare time between the sheets.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  21. #20  
    AI's Have More Fun Bad Robot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Washington state
    Posts
    6,114
    seagypsy

    I do agree that two people should be able to talk it out, and this pill would provide an option that doesn't now exist. But like Viagra it can be abused and probably will be, but for a very large segment of the female population, it might be an answer they could only dream about now.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  22. #21  
    has lost interest seagypsy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    3,107
    Quote Originally Posted by Bad Robot View Post
    seagypsy

    I do agree that two people should be able to talk it out, and this pill would provide an option that doesn't now exist. But like Viagra it can be abused and probably will be, but for a very large segment of the female population, it might be an answer they could only dream about now.
    I have anxiety and depression that sometimes affects my mood. I wouldn't mind having access to said pill given that I can't drink anymore because of hte interaction alcohol has with my anti-seizure medicine. So I do agree with you there.

    You probably didn't intend it to come across the way it did, but the way you worded the question implied a scenario where the pill was slipped to me without my knowledge. And to that I would take great offense.

    Other than that, I think the pill could help those who have tried everything else. I can't imagine a worse feeling than being totally in love with your spouse but being unable to become physically aroused.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  23. #22  
    AI's Have More Fun Bad Robot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Washington state
    Posts
    6,114
    Quote Originally Posted by scheherazade View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Bad Robot View Post
    schez

    As to not messing with your body chemistry, we do it all the time, every time we get treated by a doctor or take a drink of wine or other alcoholic drink. If you could take a pill and save your marriage, are you telling me you wouldn't do it for the man you love?
    Long term relationships are built upon a lot more than 'nookie', in my experience. 'Take a pill and save your marriage for the man you love'....sheesh, BR. Presuming that he loves me, my partner would not presume to conclude that I should just 'take a pill'. As you stated only a few posts back, 80-90% of 'sex' happens in the brain. Access the brain, leave the biology alone.

    (Last time I went to the hospital for an injury, they could not find me in the database, it had been that long since I had required medical attention.)

    Given the temporal nature of the physical body, both male and female, I would not partner with a man who was a slave to his penis. There's just far too much of interest in life to spend all of one's spare time between the sheets.
    But what if you never wanted it? And your husband was complaining a bit. I'm not suggesting this should be a daily thing, but sex is part of a well rounded relationship, and no sex means your not in a healthy relationship if at least one party would like some now and then.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  24. #23  
    Northern Horse Whisperer Moderator scheherazade's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Yukon, Canada
    Posts
    4,056
    Quote Originally Posted by Bad Robot View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by scheherazade View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Bad Robot View Post
    schez

    As to not messing with your body chemistry, we do it all the time, every time we get treated by a doctor or take a drink of wine or other alcoholic drink. If you could take a pill and save your marriage, are you telling me you wouldn't do it for the man you love?
    Long term relationships are built upon a lot more than 'nookie', in my experience. 'Take a pill and save your marriage for the man you love'....sheesh, BR. Presuming that he loves me, my partner would not presume to conclude that I should just 'take a pill'. As you stated only a few posts back, 80-90% of 'sex' happens in the brain. Access the brain, leave the biology alone.

    (Last time I went to the hospital for an injury, they could not find me in the database, it had been that long since I had required medical attention.)

    Given the temporal nature of the physical body, both male and female, I would not partner with a man who was a slave to his penis. There's just far too much of interest in life to spend all of one's spare time between the sheets.
    But what if you never wanted it? And your husband was complaining a bit. I'm not suggesting this should be a daily thing, but sex is part of a well rounded relationship, and no sex means your not in a healthy relationship if at least one party would like some now and then.
    I'll get back to you when he complains.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  25. #24  
    AI's Have More Fun Bad Robot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Washington state
    Posts
    6,114
    Quote Originally Posted by seagypsy View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Bad Robot View Post
    seagypsy

    I do agree that two people should be able to talk it out, and this pill would provide an option that doesn't now exist. But like Viagra it can be abused and probably will be, but for a very large segment of the female population, it might be an answer they could only dream about now.
    I have anxiety and depression that sometimes affects my mood. I wouldn't mind having access to said pill given that I can't drink anymore because of hte interaction alcohol has with my anti-seizure medicine. So I do agree with you there.

    You probably didn't intend it to come across the way it did, but the way you worded the question implied a scenario where the pill was slipped to me without my knowledge. And to that I would take great offense.

    Other than that, I think the pill could help those who have tried everything else. I can't imagine a worse feeling than being totally in love with your spouse but being unable to become physically aroused.
    You brought up the date rape pill which is not a stimulant and when you wake up you don't tend to remember a thing. Not very good from any point of view if you ask me. I've been talking about a pill that helps put you in the mood. What you do after that is your business. The reason they are even talking about making this pill in the first place is a lot of women tell their doctors they just can't ever get in the mood and they wish they could. Men have their Viagra and I think women should have theirs too.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  26. #25  
    has lost interest seagypsy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    3,107
    Quote Originally Posted by Bad Robot View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by seagypsy View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Bad Robot View Post
    seagypsy

    I do agree that two people should be able to talk it out, and this pill would provide an option that doesn't now exist. But like Viagra it can be abused and probably will be, but for a very large segment of the female population, it might be an answer they could only dream about now.
    I have anxiety and depression that sometimes affects my mood. I wouldn't mind having access to said pill given that I can't drink anymore because of hte interaction alcohol has with my anti-seizure medicine. So I do agree with you there.

    You probably didn't intend it to come across the way it did, but the way you worded the question implied a scenario where the pill was slipped to me without my knowledge. And to that I would take great offense.

    Other than that, I think the pill could help those who have tried everything else. I can't imagine a worse feeling than being totally in love with your spouse but being unable to become physically aroused.
    You brought up the date rape pill which is not a stimulant and when you wake up you don't tend to remember a thing. Not very good from any point of view if you ask me. I've been talking about a pill that helps put you in the mood. What you do after that is your business. The reason they are even talking about making this pill in the first place is a lot of women tell their doctors they just can't ever get in the mood and they wish they could. Men have their Viagra and I think women should have theirs too.
    I get that, but in the scenario, you said "date rape pill". I have often said if a woman gets drunk and becomes slutty as a result then cries taht she was raped because someone, probably just as drunk as she was, enjoyed her liberally drunk appreciation for recreational sex, that she is wrong for calling it rape because she willfully drank the alcohol. But if she is given a drug without her knowledge that causes her to have desires that she otherwise would not have, I would consider that rape. Even if she is not unconscious and is fully consensual during the act. If the consent is caused by the pill and not by her own desire then the fact that it was slipped to her without her knowledge is like theft by deception. Kind of like writing a bad check. The clerk may have bagged up merchandise and let you walk out with it but it was under false pretense and assumption that you had paid, when in reality you knowingly gave a check from an account that held no funds.

    But if the woman knowingly and willfully takes the pill then she has already expressed cognitive desire even if her hormones are not responding in kind. The pill kicks the hormones into gear. being in the mood is more than just in the head. There are also times when someone may want it but it would be detrimental to actually act on it. So to slip someone the pill causing their hormones to override sensible thinking could have a devastating affect.

    I guess what I am trying to say is that no one should ever administer medicine of any kind to a person without their knowledge and permission unless it is a life threatening situation and they are not conscious to give the permission. But then only doctors (or parents of young children) should be doing that.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  27. #26  
    AI's Have More Fun Bad Robot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Washington state
    Posts
    6,114
    http://ezinearticles.com/?HSDD---Hyp...men&id=1550087

    More information on this disorder. It affects to some degree 40% of the world population of women.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  28. #27  
    who sees through things
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    UK now, US before
    Posts
    269
    Quote Originally Posted by adelady View Post

    As a post-menopausal woman, I'd like to put in some bouquets and sparklers at this point for the wonders of HRT. Menopause is not fun (for anyone in the immediate family) when the symptoms take over. A couple of years of a handy pill to "interfere with my body chemistry" was a fantastic boon to me, both, all of us.
    I've heard the opposite. No more worries about accidental pregnancy. More energy due to no anemia from bleeding every month, and no more money spent on "supplies". Increasing confidence and self-esteem as you get older and wiser (that's how it's been working for me, anyway.) I have a few more years to go and I am looking forward to it. If I have a hot flush, I'll eat ice cream.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  29. #28  
    Suspended
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Apocalyptic Paradise
    Posts
    6,613
    Quote Originally Posted by Alec Bing View Post
    If I have a hot flush, I'll eat ice cream.
    Mmmm Bon Bons are so good. I love Bon Bons. All covered in chocolatey goodness.
    Only problem is if I eat too much, I'll get fat.
    Would you still love me if I'm fat? Ohhh... these Bon Bons are sooo good.
    seagypsy likes this.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  30. #29  
    Moderator Moderator
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    city of wine and roses
    Posts
    6,225
    I've heard the opposite. No more worries about accidental pregnancy. More energy due to no anemia from bleeding every month, and no more money spent on "supplies". Increasing confidence and self-esteem as you get older and wiser (that's how it's been working for me, anyway.)
    All true, post menopause. The process of getting through menopause can be a lot less fun. If your hot flushes can be resolved with icecream, count your blessings. Waking up in a bed sopping wet with sweat is not quite the same thing - although it's probably better than the nights when you can't get to sleep at all.

    (My symptoms were mostly physical with bonus mood problems, but friends of ours came close to divorce. Her moods and behaviour went completely haywire - none of it fun. A couple of years of HRT did wonders for both of us. They were interstate for most of this time so we didn't find all this out until after the events.)
    "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." Winston Churchill
    "nature is like a game of Jenga; you never know which brick you pull out will cause the whole stack to collapse" Lucy Cooke
    Reply With Quote  
     

  31. #30  
    AI's Have More Fun Bad Robot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Washington state
    Posts
    6,114
    Quote Originally Posted by adelady View Post
    I've heard the opposite. No more worries about accidental pregnancy. More energy due to no anemia from bleeding every month, and no more money spent on "supplies". Increasing confidence and self-esteem as you get older and wiser (that's how it's been working for me, anyway.)
    All true, post menopause. The process of getting through menopause can be a lot less fun. If your hot flushes can be resolved with icecream, count your blessings. Waking up in a bed sopping wet with sweat is not quite the same thing - although it's probably better than the nights when you can't get to sleep at all.

    (My symptoms were mostly physical with bonus mood problems, but friends of ours came close to divorce. Her moods and behaviour went completely haywire - none of it fun. A couple of years of HRT did wonders for both of us. They were interstate for most of this time so we didn't find all this out until after the events.)
    I've heard some women don't have it bad and some do, but either way having a good doctor looking after your well being helps a great deal. But to bring this back on topic how does menopause affect you sexual desire? I suspect it may be a different experience with every woman that goes through it. I've never been with a woman while she's going through menopause, so I have no first hand experience.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  32. #31  
    Forum Masters Degree LuciDreaming's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Cambridgeshire
    Posts
    660
    I haven't got the data to hand but I think a sense of smell is a lot to do with a womans libido (and I don't mean you need to wear Lynx). I lived with my first long-term boyfriend for 6 years and I was nuts about him but I woke up one day and didn't fancy him any more. I couldn't explain it then and I cant explain it now, we went to sleep a happy couple and I woke up with a bloke I didn't fancy any more. And it never came back and worse, the thought of sleeping with him made me cringe.

    I have since read (but will need to find to dig out the details) that the pill interferes with a womans sense of smell and potentially interferes with the partner she chooses (to the detriment of the species because apparently womens sense of smell is what alerts us to the partner being genetically suitable or not). I had changed my brand of pill about 6 months prior to leaving him and often wonder if that was the cause.

    I wish you good luck in your quest to get some Bad Robot but looking at your posts I would suggest that if you keep your opinions to yourself around women you might be more successful
    scheherazade and seagypsy like this.
    "And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh" Nietzsche.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  33. #32  
    Moderator Moderator
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    city of wine and roses
    Posts
    6,225
    Bad Robot
    Remember it takes years - sometimes it seems like it will never end. If the woman has any depression with it, which is pretty common, then that'll knock the libido around the same way it does for anyone at any time. The other issue is that the whole endocrine system can be in a bit of turmoil, not just the reproductive hormones.

    So a woman who might be very little affected by the fluctuating changes in her estrogen/testosterone balance might be thrown off kilter by associated changes in the thyroid or adrenal or other endocrine system. As a bonus, the age(s) of onset of menopause are fairly neatly aligned with the increasing onset and diagnosis of declining thyroid function and/or autoimmune diseases becoming more evident.

    The other influence is straightforward fatigue. Not the fatigue of depression but that of disrupted sleep, for a variety of reasons, and the effects of an irregular menstrual cycle. The occasional bad night is one thing. Weeks or months or even years on end is quite another. Some women are glad of the months "off" in an erratic menstrual cycle (so long as they're confident they're not pregnant) but not so happy about the occasional haemorrhaging flow when it's "on", which is worrying for those who've not experienced that before, bringing up fears of fibroids, cancer, other illnesses. I quite understand why so many women of my mother's generation had hysterectomies rather than face years more of the problems they were having. Getting it all over and done with would be very appealing - but now we have other alternatives.

    Getting back to your question, some women are lucky to get through with little fuss and with little to no effect on their libido or other important parts of their life at any stage in the process. But I'd be surprised if they were the majority, though if you add in a category for problems being short-lived, say three months or less, or occasional or annoying-but-bearable you'd probably get a majority. I remember being in the audience a few years ago for a performance of "Menopause: The Musical". I'll admit the performers were excellent and very funny, but the mostly women audience recognised all the problems. There was no need to belabour any of the issues to make a joke - the laughter was spontaneous. Loss of libido was one of the topics.
    "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." Winston Churchill
    "nature is like a game of Jenga; you never know which brick you pull out will cause the whole stack to collapse" Lucy Cooke
    Reply With Quote  
     

  34. #33  
    AI's Have More Fun Bad Robot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Washington state
    Posts
    6,114
    Quote Originally Posted by LuciDreaming View Post
    I haven't got the data to hand but I think a sense of smell is a lot to do with a womans libido (and I don't mean you need to wear Lynx). I lived with my first long-term boyfriend for 6 years and I was nuts about him but I woke up one day and didn't fancy him any more. I couldn't explain it then and I cant explain it now, we went to sleep a happy couple and I woke up with a bloke I didn't fancy any more. And it never came back and worse, the thought of sleeping with him made me cringe.

    I have since read (but will need to find to dig out the details) that the pill interferes with a womans sense of smell and potentially interferes with the partner she chooses (to the detriment of the species because apparently womens sense of smell is what alerts us to the partner being genetically suitable or not). I had changed my brand of pill about 6 months prior to leaving him and often wonder if that was the cause.

    I wish you good luck in your quest to get some Bad Robot but looking at your posts I would suggest that if you keep your opinions to yourself around women you might be more successful
    I can relate to what you said about smell. But what opinions are you talking about? I'm an older guy with some experience in what I'm saying. Also, I'm not looking to hook up, so what you are saying doesn't make a lot of sense to me.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  35. #34  
    Forum Radioactive Isotope cosmictraveler's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Key West, Florida, Earth
    Posts
    4,789
    I have found that just breaking the same habits that everyone seems to get into after a long term relationship is a good way to have a better time with someone. I've taken women on trips to Hawaii, Fiji and other places and they seem to be all having a great time and just watching them relaxing by the pool or on the beach makes me feel that I've done something nice to her and made her feel that she isn't just a token of someone that is there for his/her pleasures. Getting away from the usual conditions that you are always in is a very good way, although not always necessary, to get the bounce back into a relationship no matter how long they have been together.
    seagypsy likes this.
    When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.
    Jimi Hendrix
    Reply With Quote  
     

  36. #35  
    AI's Have More Fun Bad Robot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Washington state
    Posts
    6,114
    Quote Originally Posted by adelady View Post
    Bad Robot
    Remember it takes years - sometimes it seems like it will never end. If the woman has any depression with it, which is pretty common, then that'll knock the libido around the same way it does for anyone at any time. The other issue is that the whole endocrine system can be in a bit of turmoil, not just the reproductive hormones.

    So a woman who might be very little affected by the fluctuating changes in her estrogen/testosterone balance might be thrown off kilter by associated changes in the thyroid or adrenal or other endocrine system. As a bonus, the age(s) of onset of menopause are fairly neatly aligned with the increasing onset and diagnosis of declining thyroid function and/or autoimmune diseases becoming more evident.

    The other influence is straightforward fatigue. Not the fatigue of depression but that of disrupted sleep, for a variety of reasons, and the effects of an irregular menstrual cycle. The occasional bad night is one thing. Weeks or months or even years on end is quite another. Some women are glad of the months "off" in an erratic menstrual cycle (so long as they're confident they're not pregnant) but not so happy about the occasional hemorrhaging flow when it's "on", which is worrying for those who've not experienced that before, bringing up fears of fibroids, cancer, other illnesses. I quite understand why so many women of my mother's generation had hysterectomies rather than face years more of the problems they were having. Getting it all over and done with would be very appealing - but now we have other alternatives.

    Getting back to your question, some women are lucky to get through with little fuss and with little to no effect on their libido or other important parts of their life at any stage in the process. But I'd be surprised if they were the majority, though if you add in a category for problems being short-lived, say three months or less, or occasional or annoying-but-bearable you'd probably get a majority. I remember being in the audience a few years ago for a performance of "Menopause: The Musical". I'll admit the performers were excellent and very funny, but the mostly women audience recognized all the problems. There was no need to belabour any of the issues to make a joke - the laughter was spontaneous. Loss of libido was one of the topics.
    I'll concede menopause is not a pleasant thing to go through. However, it is not the same as HSDD, and I'm not sure Luci's comment about smell has anything to do with HSDD either. We've been talking about women, but what about men. We can also suffer a loss of desire. Many men get teased about the so called 7 year itch, because that's a common amount of time when the same old relationship is just not much of a turn on anymore. What can you do, if you still have the urge, but your current relationship is not able to satisfy it? Actually this goes for both women and men.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  37. #36  
    AI's Have More Fun Bad Robot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Washington state
    Posts
    6,114
    Quote Originally Posted by PhDemon View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by LuciDreaming View Post
    I wish you good luck in your quest to get some Bad Robot but looking at your posts I would suggest that if you keep your opinions to yourself around women you might be more successful
    OUCH!

    Reminds me of a friend of mine who was asked what his favourite method of contraception was. He replied "my personality"
    When you can't get a woman pregnant, that also, leads to some very strange situations. Most women want to get married and have kids and when they can't because of you. Your history.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  38. #37  
    Northern Horse Whisperer Moderator scheherazade's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Yukon, Canada
    Posts
    4,056
    Quote Originally Posted by LuciDreaming View Post
    I haven't got the data to hand but I think a sense of smell is a lot to do with a womans libido (and I don't mean you need to wear Lynx). I lived with my first long-term boyfriend for 6 years and I was nuts about him but I woke up one day and didn't fancy him any more. I couldn't explain it then and I cant explain it now, we went to sleep a happy couple and I woke up with a bloke I didn't fancy any more. And it never came back and worse, the thought of sleeping with him made me cringe.

    I have since read (but will need to find to dig out the details) that the pill interferes with a womans sense of smell and potentially interferes with the partner she chooses (to the detriment of the species because apparently womens sense of smell is what alerts us to the partner being genetically suitable or not). I had changed my brand of pill about 6 months prior to leaving him and often wonder if that was the cause.

    I wish you good luck in your quest to get some Bad Robot but looking at your posts I would suggest that if you keep your opinions to yourself around women you might be more successful
    Most interesting that you should bring up this point, LuciDreaming.

    The same thing happened to me with my first husband. He was very clean in his personal habits but quite suddenly, he just didn't sexually arouse me any more. Looking back, the other thing that had changed was that I had gone off the pill subsequent to having my tubes tied. We divorced amiably, both found new relationships soon after (obviously nothing wrong with the libido for either of us) and six years later, he died suddenly of a massive heart attack.

    I have often wondered if my sense of smell picked up on something related to a change in his health and that I did not recognize the cause? He was a very dear man and I never understood why I 'fell out of love' after 14 years together.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  39. #38  
    AI's Have More Fun Bad Robot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Washington state
    Posts
    6,114
    Quote Originally Posted by scheherazade View Post
    Most interesting that you should bring up this point, LuciDreaming.

    The same thing happened to me with my first husband. He was very clean in his personal habits but quite suddenly, he just didn't sexually arouse me any more. Looking back, the other thing that had changed was that I had gone off the pill subsequent to having my tubes tied. We divorced amiably, both found new relationships soon after (obviously nothing wrong with the libido for either of us) and six years later, he died suddenly of a massive heart attack.

    I have often wondered if my sense of smell picked up on something related to a change in his health and that I did not recognize the cause? He was a very dear man and I never understood why I 'fell out of love' after 14 years together.
    Makes me wonder if a sense of smell could be used as a diagnostic tool. I have heard some dogs can smell cancer in people. But a loyal dog will always be a loyal dog whether you are sick or not.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  40. #39  
    Northern Horse Whisperer Moderator scheherazade's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Yukon, Canada
    Posts
    4,056
    Quote Originally Posted by Bad Robot View Post

    Makes me wonder if a sense of smell could be used as a diagnostic tool. I have heard some dogs can smell cancer in people. But a loyal dog will always be a loyal dog whether you are sick or not.
    Are we comparing women to dogs now? I am not quite sure how that last sentence fits with the discussion otherwise.

    HSDD is the acronym for Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, an affliction which affects millions of women around the globe. HSDD is characterized as a lack or absence of sexual fantasies and desire for sexual activity which lasts for some period of time. To be considered HSDD, it must cause marked distress or interpersonal difficulties and is not better accounted for by another medical condition or mental disorder.
    Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/1550087
    Given that the majority of lack of sexual interest will be found to have a rational or biological foundation, I am somewhat of the opinion that this may be more of a male oriented complaint due to lackanookie.
    Expecting the woman to do something about her problem is, unfortunately, a somewhat typical response.

    (Looking at some of the male specimens lamenting their fate, the human species would go extinct before I would 'lay down for the cause' with any of them, lol...)

    And yes, it's little short of amazing that I have been married not once but twice to absolutely awesome fellows.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  41. #40  
    Forum Masters Degree LuciDreaming's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Cambridgeshire
    Posts
    660
    There's an interesting article here regarding women's changing preference for facial symmetry as detected by smell at different stages of ovulation - Menstrual cycle variation in women's preferences for the scent of symmetrical men

    I would agree that regarding it as her problem is a typical response - I don't want to give English men a bad name but I have known many who seem to think they are in some sort of race....... Personally I think men have shot themselves in the foot (for a change....) in promoting the idea that "good" girls don't have sex in order to establish some sort of control over our sexual lives, generations of women have the idea that sex is something that is done to you, that its something to be endured because the bloke likes it. God forbid any woman should be seen to enjoy it or talk about enjoying it.

    You only have to look at the shameful way Belle de Jour was hounded until her identity was revealed like some sort of 16th century witch hunt. Women are not yet allowed to publicly enjoy sex without being considered slutty or worse. If you want us to enjoy it you have to stop trying to make us feel ashamed of it.
    "And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh" Nietzsche.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  42. #41  
    AI's Have More Fun Bad Robot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Washington state
    Posts
    6,114
    Quote Originally Posted by LuciDreaming View Post
    There's an interesting article here regarding women's changing preference for facial symmetry as detected by smell at different stages of ovulation - Menstrual cycle variation in women's preferences for the scent of symmetrical men

    I would agree that regarding it as her problem is a typical response - I don't want to give English men a bad name but I have known many who seem to think they are in some sort of race....... Personally I think men have shot themselves in the foot (for a change....) in promoting the idea that "good" girls don't have sex in order to establish some sort of control over our sexual lives, generations of women have the idea that sex is something that is done to you, that its something to be endured because the bloke likes it. God forbid any woman should be seen to enjoy it or talk about enjoying it.

    You only have to look at the shameful way Belle de Jour was hounded until her identity was revealed like some sort of 16th century witch hunt. Women are not yet allowed to publicly enjoy sex without being considered slutty or worse. If you want us to enjoy it you have to stop trying to make us feel ashamed of it.
    Acting slutty is not the same as being a slut, and it's hard for me to imagine a woman acting and dressing slutty as not being interested in a good time in the sack. How many bored housewives act and dress slutty for their husbands or long time boyfriends? When you lose your desire to be with someone so goes the relationship.

    The real problem comes when you want out and there's money, possessions and children to be considered.

    Also, when it comes to cheating on a spouse, woman and men are almost equal in doing it. Roughly about 1/3 the population of married people or live in relationships. The men still have the edge in numbers, but women have been catching up fast.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  43. #42  
    Forum Masters Degree LuciDreaming's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Cambridgeshire
    Posts
    660
    Quote Originally Posted by Bad Robot View Post
    Acting slutty is not the same as being a slut, and it's hard for me to imagine a woman acting and dressing slutty as not being interested in a good time in the sack.
    How many bored housewives act and dress slutty for their husbands or long time boyfriends? When you lose your desire to be with someone so goes the relationship.

    The real problem comes when you want out and there's money, possessions and children to be considered.

    Also, when it comes to cheating on a spouse, woman and men are almost equal in doing it. Roughly about 1/3 the population of married people or live in relationships. The men still have the edge in numbers, but women have been catching up fast.
    How many bored husbands act out a womans fantasies? And no-one mentioned cheating.

    I am pointing out the paradox that a male-centric society has produced in women-it is not socially acceptable to admit to enjoying sex yet we are expected to be whores all day long for our partners. If there are generations of women out there who have dysfunctional attitudes toward sex then you only have yourselves to congratulate for it.
    "And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh" Nietzsche.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  44. #43  
    Forum Masters Degree LuciDreaming's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Cambridgeshire
    Posts
    660
    Just to clarify I am not a man-hater by any stretch of the imagination - if I have occasion to hate (which isn't at all often) it is not sexist hate, its because of the action not the gender. However having said that - the issue of women's sexuality is still a difficult one and women don't have autonomy over their own images/bodies/sexuality as yet and it needs addressing.
    scheherazade likes this.
    "And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh" Nietzsche.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  45. #44  
    Northern Horse Whisperer Moderator scheherazade's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Yukon, Canada
    Posts
    4,056
    Quote Originally Posted by LuciDreaming View Post
    Just to clarify I am not a man-hater by any stretch of the imagination - if I have occasion to hate (which isn't at all often) it is not sexist hate, its because of the action not the gender. However having said that - the issue of women's sexuality is still a difficult one and women don't have autonomy over their own images/bodies/sexuality as yet and it needs addressing.
    Likewise.

    Some of my best friends (and all of my lovers/partners) are/were men.

    It is the attitude of a largely paternal society toward sex, sexuality and gender that remains frustrating. I quite likes gentlemen and biology 101!
    Reply With Quote  
     

  46. #45  
    Forum Professor jrmonroe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    1,444
    HSDD? Isn't that gene on the Y chromosome?

    Never mind "libido in a pill", just give me "Beatles in a pill"!
    Grief is the price we pay for love. (CM Parkes) Our postillion has been struck by lightning. (Unknown) War is always the choice of the chosen who will not have to fight. (Bono) The years tell much what the days never knew. (RW Emerson) Reality is not always probable, or likely. (JL Borges)
    Reply With Quote  
     

  47. #46  
    has lost interest seagypsy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    3,107
    Quote Originally Posted by Alec Bing View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by adelady View Post

    As a post-menopausal woman, I'd like to put in some bouquets and sparklers at this point for the wonders of HRT. Menopause is not fun (for anyone in the immediate family) when the symptoms take over. A couple of years of a handy pill to "interfere with my body chemistry" was a fantastic boon to me, both, all of us.
    I've heard the opposite. No more worries about accidental pregnancy. More energy due to no anemia from bleeding every month, and no more money spent on "supplies". Increasing confidence and self-esteem as you get older and wiser (that's how it's been working for me, anyway.) I have a few more years to go and I am looking forward to it. If I have a hot flush, I'll eat ice cream.
    lol my mom used to say that. Now she clamors for any pill she can get to keep from feeling the urge to snuff out the life force of any errant passerby on some days. Apparently, menopause is something you can't fully fathom the realities of until you experience it. Kinda like childbirth.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  48. #47  
    has lost interest seagypsy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    3,107
    Quote Originally Posted by Bad Robot View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by PhDemon View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by LuciDreaming View Post
    I wish you good luck in your quest to get some Bad Robot but looking at your posts I would suggest that if you keep your opinions to yourself around women you might be more successful
    OUCH!

    Reminds me of a friend of mine who was asked what his favourite method of contraception was. He replied "my personality"
    When you can't get a woman pregnant, that also, leads to some very strange situations. Most women want to get married and have kids and when they can't because of you. Your history.
    That can go both ways. I have known men that admitted to breaking up with fiances when it was disclosed to them that for some reason the fiance could not bear children or that her chances of successfully carrying a child to term were less than favorable. I have only known a couple of men that were enthusiastic about the possibility of adopting kids. Usually the comments including "raising some other man's child" would come into play as a reason for not wanting to adopt. Based on my limited experience, fewer women consider raising someone else's child as an insult than men do. Most of the women I know agree that once we become mothers biologically, psychologically we start viewing all children as our own. Especially small children.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  49. #48  
    Forum Cosmic Wizard icewendigo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    2,148
    The other day I bought a flower pot, the flower was all nice initially. After a while I placed it in the clauset while i was moving things around, but I forgot about it and it didnt have sunlight, water or fresh air for some time. A while later I opened the clauset to pickup golf clubs, and thought of placing it back, what a let down... ...Something was wrong with the flower, it didnt look as good and as alive as it did when i first brought it home.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  50. #49  
    has lost interest seagypsy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    3,107
    Quote Originally Posted by scheherazade View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Bad Robot View Post

    Makes me wonder if a sense of smell could be used as a diagnostic tool. I have heard some dogs can smell cancer in people. But a loyal dog will always be a loyal dog whether you are sick or not.
    Are we comparing women to dogs now? I am not quite sure how that last sentence fits with the discussion otherwise.
    It almost makes being called a bitch seem like a compliment doesn't it. Bitches be loyal, yo!

    Quote Originally Posted by scheherazade View Post
    HSDD is the acronym for Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, an affliction which affects millions of women around the globe. HSDD is characterized as a lack or absence of sexual fantasies and desire for sexual activity which lasts for some period of time. To be considered HSDD, it must cause marked distress or interpersonal difficulties and is not better accounted for by another medical condition or mental disorder.
    Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/1550087
    Given that the majority of lack of sexual interest will be found to have a rational or biological foundation, I am somewhat of the opinion that this may be more of a male oriented complaint due to lackanookie.
    Expecting the woman to do something about her problem is, unfortunately, a somewhat typical response.

    (Looking at some of the male specimens lamenting their fate, the human species would go extinct before I would 'lay down for the cause' with any of them, lol...)

    And yes, it's little short of amazing that I have been married not once but twice to absolutely awesome fellows.
    I don't think that a majority of them men think that way. It's just the ones that do tend to yap about it A LOT. It's the squeaky wheels that get noticed not the nice quiet ones. I have personally heard as many women complain about a man not being able to function, or worse, just not having enough to work with, as I have heard men complain about women being frigged.

    I also think that when it comes to lack of physical arousal in both men and women, that the causes can be and often are both biomechanical as well as psychological. I dated a guy who came from a very religious family. He was still a virgin. And remained a virgin throughout our relationship, not for lack of trying or lack of desire but simply because his fear of offending his god over powered his ability to perform. he'd be ready to go until the spot light hit him and he would shrink immediately in a pitiful pile of stage fright. But we went our separate ways and he ended up married (through an arranged marriage) and within 2 months his wife was expecting. He had thought he had a medical problem but it was all in his mind. FEAR was stopping him. I'm glad he didn't take a pill because if he had, that regret would have followed him all his life, even if he and I had ended up married at some point. And he would have resented me on some level for causing him to disobey his god.

    A pill can force something to happen but it is likely that it will compound whatever psychological block is keeping things from progressing.

    It isn't a his problem or a her problem. It is a couple problem. And since both parties of the couple are affected they both need to be treated. And I think the pill should be last resort.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  51. #50  
    has lost interest seagypsy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    3,107
    Quote Originally Posted by Bad Robot View Post
    The men still have the edge in numbers, but women have been catching up fast.
    That's because women are getting sloppy. Women, especially the younger generations, are losing their touch. There is a reason that it is believed that men are more likely to be serial killers than women. That reason is because we don't get caught. Usually. We are that damned good. Unfortunately, our gender is getting sloppy in its new found equality and we no longer have the pressure to keep up appearances as we used to. Now our secrets are getting out. Some of us saw this coming, others just want to be able to basque in the glory of our infamous deeds. But some of us, would prefer to remain in the shadows where much can be accomplished with little to risk.


    *This post should not to be taken too seriously..... or should it?
    Last edited by seagypsy; June 4th, 2013 at 06:53 PM. Reason: spelling error
    Reply With Quote  
     

  52. #51  
    has lost interest seagypsy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    3,107
    Quote Originally Posted by LuciDreaming View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Bad Robot View Post
    Acting slutty is not the same as being a slut, and it's hard for me to imagine a woman acting and dressing slutty as not being interested in a good time in the sack.
    How many bored housewives act and dress slutty for their husbands or long time boyfriends? When you lose your desire to be with someone so goes the relationship.

    The real problem comes when you want out and there's money, possessions and children to be considered.

    Also, when it comes to cheating on a spouse, woman and men are almost equal in doing it. Roughly about 1/3 the population of married people or live in relationships. The men still have the edge in numbers, but women have been catching up fast.
    How many bored husbands act out a womans fantasies? And no-one mentioned cheating.

    I am pointing out the paradox that a male-centric society has produced in women-it is not socially acceptable to admit to enjoying sex yet we are expected to be whores all day long for our partners. If there are generations of women out there who have dysfunctional attitudes toward sex then you only have yourselves to congratulate for it.
    I think our grandmothers are as much to blame for that as men are. I hear women insulting other women for appearing "slutty" way more often than I hear men complain about it. And we tend to complain mainly because we see them as competition. We don't want other women to display aspects of themselves that may distract our own mates away from us. Of course the solution is to simply keep our wares on display in order to keep their attention. When I dress a little sexy, Neverfly is way more clingy to me in public and is paying far more attention to men who may be checking me out than any women walking by. On the other hand if I am dressed homely or not looking my best because I'm under the weather, I tend to check out other women more than he does, trying to gauge if I should lead him in a different direction so that he doesn't notice them or to see if he is checking them out as well. I'm not saying that ALL women are like this, but considering how obnoxious I have seen women get at times, how vindictive and cruel we can be to one another, I find it very difficult to blame men for the psychosis that we project onto each other, while using the men as scapegoats for our crimes.
    Bad Robot likes this.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  53. #52  
    AI's Have More Fun Bad Robot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Washington state
    Posts
    6,114
    Quote Originally Posted by LuciDreaming View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Bad Robot View Post
    Acting slutty is not the same as being a slut, and it's hard for me to imagine a woman acting and dressing slutty as not being interested in a good time in the sack.
    How many bored housewives act and dress slutty for their husbands or long time boyfriends? When you lose your desire to be with someone so goes the relationship.

    The real problem comes when you want out and there's money, possessions and children to be considered.

    Also, when it comes to cheating on a spouse, woman and men are almost equal in doing it. Roughly about 1/3 the population of married people or live in relationships. The men still have the edge in numbers, but women have been catching up fast.
    How many bored husbands act out a woman's fantasies? And no-one mentioned cheating.

    I am pointing out the paradox that a male-centric society has produced in women-it is not socially acceptable to admit to enjoying sex yet we are expected to be whores all day long for our partners. If there are generations of women out there who have dysfunctional attitudes toward sex then you only have yourselves to congratulate for it.
    I will admit that men could do more. Successful relationships take two people willing to work at it and even that isn't always enough. I can't say our society is the best it could be, but we are way ahead of many other countries. You should try being a woman in Japan. They have a male dominated society, but the females there didn't seem sexually repressed like they were here back in the 50's and 60's. Go figure. However the article did say HSDD affects to some degree 40 percent of the women world wide. So we aren't just talking about women in the US and Canada.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  54. #53  
    AI's Have More Fun Bad Robot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Washington state
    Posts
    6,114
    Quote Originally Posted by seagypsy View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Bad Robot View Post
    The men still have the edge in numbers, but women have been catching up fast.
    That's because women are getting sloppy. Women, especially the younger generations, are losing their touch. There is a reason that it is believed that men are more likely to be serial killers than women. That reason is because we don't get caught. Usually. We are that damned good. Unfortunately, our gender is getting sloppy in its new found equality and we no longer have the pressure to keep up appearances as we used to. Now our secrets are getting out. Some of us saw this coming, others just want to be able to basque in the glory of our infamous deeds. But some of us, would prefer to remain in the shadows where much can be accomplished with little to risk.


    *This post should not to be taken too seriously..... or should it?
    It's not about getting caught. These numbers are coming from what women are willing to admit to in an anonymous questionnaire. Are you suggesting they lied in earlier anonymous questionnaires?
    Reply With Quote  
     

  55. #54  
    has lost interest seagypsy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    3,107
    Quote Originally Posted by Bad Robot View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by seagypsy View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Bad Robot View Post
    The men still have the edge in numbers, but women have been catching up fast.
    That's because women are getting sloppy. Women, especially the younger generations, are losing their touch. There is a reason that it is believed that men are more likely to be serial killers than women. That reason is because we don't get caught. Usually. We are that damned good. Unfortunately, our gender is getting sloppy in its new found equality and we no longer have the pressure to keep up appearances as we used to. Now our secrets are getting out. Some of us saw this coming, others just want to be able to basque in the glory of our infamous deeds. But some of us, would prefer to remain in the shadows where much can be accomplished with little to risk.


    *This post should not to be taken too seriously..... or should it?
    It's not about getting caught. These numbers are coming from what women are willing to admit to in an anonymous questionnaire. Are you suggesting they lied in earlier anonymous questionnaires?
    It was more of a post made in jest. But who knows. I never trust people to be honest. The thing is, the one person any person is more inclined to lie to is themself. No one wants to admit to being bad in some way. I have managed to forget events where I was the one playing a role I wasn't proud of. But then dear old friends remind me proudly of those events making it hard to forget forever.

    Look at how hard it is for someone to admit to being an addict or to admit to having a minor mental illness like depression or anxiety. People don't like to acknowledge their own flaws. I hate to admit mine but after years of therapy and self actualization I have come to realize the only way to correct any flaws is to first acknowledge them. Unfortunately, like most people, I had to hit rock bottom before I was willing to admit I wasn't always a victim and that some of my hardships were the results of my own bad choices and bad behavior.

    I also managed to develop a bit of OCD in the cruel honesty game, possibly to the point of seeing myself worse than I actually am. At least that's what people tell me. But then maybe they don't want to admit or believe what they actually see in me.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  56. #55  
    AI's Have More Fun Bad Robot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Washington state
    Posts
    6,114
    Quote Originally Posted by scheherazade View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by LuciDreaming View Post
    Just to clarify I am not a man-hater by any stretch of the imagination - if I have occasion to hate (which isn't at all often) it is not sexist hate, its because of the action not the gender. However having said that - the issue of women's sexuality is still a difficult one and women don't have autonomy over their own images/bodies/sexuality as yet and it needs addressing.
    Likewise.

    Some of my best friends (and all of my lovers/partners) are/were men.

    It is the attitude of a largely paternal society toward sex, sexuality and gender that remains frustrating. I quite likes gentlemen and biology 101!
    I found the following joke, that reminds me of some of the responses in this thread.

    ONLY AN ITALIAN MAN CAN MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A WOMAN...


    On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm.

    ... The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane.

    'I'm too young to die', she wails. Then she yells, 'Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last
    minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?

    For a moment there is silence... Everyone has forgotten their own peril. They all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.

    Then an Italian man stands up in the rear of the plane. He is handsome, tall, well built, with dark brown hair and blue eyes. He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt, one button at a time...

    No one moves ... He removes his shirt... Muscles ripple across his chest

    she gasps... And he says...

    "Here! Iron this, and get me something to eat."
    Reply With Quote  
     

  57. #56  
    Northern Horse Whisperer Moderator scheherazade's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Yukon, Canada
    Posts
    4,056
    LOL...

    Good Joke, Bad Robot. It would even be hilarious save for the observation that the attitude portrayed is still quite common.

    I can make use of it though, just change Italian to Irishman...
    Reply With Quote  
     

  58. #57  
    Suspended
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Apocalyptic Paradise
    Posts
    6,613
    Switch the genders and change the punchline to "mow the lawn and take out the trash." See? It goes both ways.
    seagypsy likes this.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  59. #58  
    Northern Horse Whisperer Moderator scheherazade's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Yukon, Canada
    Posts
    4,056
    Quote Originally Posted by Neverfly View Post
    Switch the genders and change the punchline to "mow the lawn and take out the trash." See? It goes both ways.
    That would not have occurred to me for the simple reason that we have no lawn and it is I who takes out the trash.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  60. #59  
    Forum Masters Degree LuciDreaming's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Cambridgeshire
    Posts
    660
    Quote Originally Posted by Bad Robot View Post
    I found the following joke, that reminds me of some of the responses in this thread.

    ONLY AN ITALIAN MAN CAN MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A WOMAN...


    On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm.

    ... The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane.

    'I'm too young to die', she wails. Then she yells, 'Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last
    minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?

    For a moment there is silence... Everyone has forgotten their own peril. They all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.

    Then an Italian man stands up in the rear of the plane. He is handsome, tall, well built, with dark brown hair and blue eyes. He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt, one button at a time...

    No one moves ... He removes his shirt... Muscles ripple across his chest

    she gasps... And he says...

    "Here! Iron this, and get me something to eat."
    Its funny cos there's no such thing as a tall Italian.....

    Well I am sure you will dismiss this comment as easily as you have dismissed others but I would suggest that until you learn to listen and try to understand what women are telling you most women will go off you eventually. Women are not like men, we don't have testosterone surges every 15 minutes (our hormonal surges happen only once a month and you think we are difficult to live with......), and we are perfectly capable of sitting in a room full of men without once having a sexual thought about them. You seem to think that a woman's opinion on her own body and sexuality is not worth listening to and that's fine but defining women only in terms of their looks and sexuality demonstrates some very one-dimensional thinking indeed.

    (Apologies to Italians everywhere btw )
    "And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh" Nietzsche.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  61. #60  
    has lost interest seagypsy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    3,107
    Quote Originally Posted by LuciDreaming View Post

    Its funny cos there's no such thing as a tall Italian.....

    Well I am sure you will dismiss this comment as easily as you have dismissed others but I would suggest that until you learn to listen and try to understand what women are telling you most women will go off you eventually. Women are not like men, we don't have testosterone surges every 15 minutes (our hormonal surges happen only once a month and you think we are difficult to live with......), and we are perfectly capable of sitting in a room full of men without once having a sexual thought about them. You seem to think that a woman's opinion on her own body and sexuality is not worth listening to and that's fine but defining women only in terms of their looks and sexuality demonstrates some very one-dimensional thinking indeed.

    (Apologies to Italians everywhere btw )
    I respectfully disagree with you here. I think you are pigeonholing people by gender. Maybe its a generational perception, but I a little younger and I am very dirty minded. There don't have to be any men around for me to twist just about any innocent thing into a sexual innuendo. And I remember in highschool, the locker room conversations couldn't have been any less prim and proper than I experienced. The girls would talk about guys and what they were packing just as bad as we were told the boys talked about us. Worse even at times. And now I have a teen daughter of my own that watches more asian porn than an asian porn star. My boys are the prudes who act all embarrassed if we tell a dirty joke. I really don't think the psyche has changed that much. We just like to tell ourselves that we are somehow different than men.

    We are. We have tits. Oh wait, some of them do too. Oh oh we have vaginas. They have penises. Other than that our psychology isn't as deeply different as our grandmothers want us and everyone else to believe. What we do tend to do is delude ourselves more. We don't want to let go of the image of being miss priss. Well some of us don't anyway. Each generation is becoming less enthralled with the delusion and letting their hair down and admitting that sex is fun and entertaining. Sure some of us take it more serious than others but that goes for men too. They aren't all obsessed. I'd guess the ratio of perves to prudes is probably about the same from males to females around the world.

    Pigeonholing, when is that gonna stop?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46cpulRqW0g
    Last edited by seagypsy; June 5th, 2013 at 07:12 AM.
    Neverfly and Bad Robot like this.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  62. #61  
    Suspended
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Apocalyptic Paradise
    Posts
    6,613
    I can't count on all my fingers and toes how many times a lady, woman, girl- whatever, has said something sexual and then said, "Gosh, huh huh, I sound like a guy, huh?"
    No.
    "You sound like every other woman I know!"

    When I was doing the single dad thing with my infant son, every single woman I met asked, "But where's his mother? He needs his mother!"
    Because we all know that a man can't fill a bottle, change a diaper or put an infant to sleep, right?
    Single Mothers, Fathers Equally Successful At Raising Children
    Some folks are too eager to accept Hollywood stereotypes. And no matter the evidence, they just won't let it go.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  63. #62  
    Forum Masters Degree LuciDreaming's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Cambridgeshire
    Posts
    660
    I don't think I said I wasn't dirty minded - in fact me and my other half were just laughing at the weekend at the thought of young people being disgusted by us....... I'm only 50 by the way...... And my girlfriends and I do have those conversations when we get together.

    But, I don't think it hurts to point out the differences where they do occur and there are differences, psychologically and physically when it comes to sex, even if not by much and when it comes to talking about gender its kind of hard not to speak in generalisations because there are so many of us.

    Anyway - my point was really that being dismissive of someone's opinion of their own body and sexuality is not a good thing.
    "And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh" Nietzsche.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  64. #63  
    Suspended
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Apocalyptic Paradise
    Posts
    6,613
    Quote Originally Posted by LuciDreaming View Post
    Anyway - my point was really that being dismissive of someone's opinion of their own body and sexuality is not a good thing.
    True... But my opinion was that you were skirting the fine line of doing what you complained to Bad Robot for doing.

    Now, that's an opinion based on an impression given by a few posts in one thread...

    But I'll be askin' ya to think about it, all the same.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  65. #64  
    Forum Masters Degree LuciDreaming's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Cambridgeshire
    Posts
    660
    Quote Originally Posted by Neverfly View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by LuciDreaming View Post
    Anyway - my point was really that being dismissive of someone's opinion of their own body and sexuality is not a good thing.
    True... But my opinion was that you were skirting the fine line of doing what you complained to Bad Robot for doing.

    Now, that's an opinion based on an impression given by a few posts in one thread...

    But I'll be askin' ya to think about it, all the same.
    Its going a little off topic but here's the link to a wealth of studies of differences between the way women and men think about sex - Is There a Gender Difference in Strength of Sex Drive? Theoretical Views, Conceptual Distinctions, and a Review of Relevant Evidence Overall, in Western society the data currently shows that men think about sex more often than women and in more "unsuitable" places than women ie at business meetings, court rooms etc. Now that data may be skewed by men "bigging it up" and women "playing it down" but it shows what it currently shows and that's all there is to go on at the minute.
    "And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh" Nietzsche.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  66. #65  
     

  67. #66  
    Forum Cosmic Wizard icewendigo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    2,148
    Its not Women that have a problem, its our corrupt monetary system society that keeps inventing reasons to sell pills because theres a profit motive, where everything is an excuse to diagnose a "disease" or "medical condition" and SELL Pills for it.


    Are you thirsty? Its a medical condition. Take a Dehydranol pill with 3 glasses of water, you will feel hydraded!
    You are sad because your cat was run over by a car? You suffer from Post-Felinis-Necro-Squashy-isis, take a FeelHappynol
    Your not getting old with lack of exercise, its Osteoporosis, drink milk and take pill supplements with an extra dose of X rays.
    Your feet are tingly because you were sitting in a bad position for hours? Thats Tinglitis, take 2 Placebol and walk around for a minute, but take Placebol daily as a preventive measure.
    Your man isnt romantic, and wants to get it on between Jack-ass and Monday night football in his overturned underwear next to the bucket of chicken wings? Then its a medical condition, sure, your suffering from lack of libido syndrome, take a pill.


    ""Here! Iron this, and get me something to eat.""
    LOL
    Last edited by icewendigo; June 5th, 2013 at 02:53 PM.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  68. #67  
    Northern Horse Whisperer Moderator scheherazade's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Yukon, Canada
    Posts
    4,056
    Quote Originally Posted by icewendigo View Post
    Its not Women that have a problem, its our corrupt monetary system society that keeps inventing reasons to sell pills because theres a profit motive, where everything is an excuse to diagnose a "disease" or "medical condition" and SELL Pills for it.


    Are you thirsty? Its a medical condition. Take a Dehydranol pill with 3 glasses of water, you will feel hydraded!
    You are sad because your cat was run over by a car? You suffer from Post-Felinis-Necro-Squashy-isis, take a FeelHappynol
    Your not getting old with lack of exercise, its Osteoporosis, drink milk and take pill supplements with an extra dose of X rays.
    Your feet are tingly because you were sitting in a bad position for hours? Thats Tinglitis, take 2 Placebol and walk around for a minute, but take Placebol daily as a preventive measure.
    Your man isnt romantic, and wants to get it on between Jack-ass and Monday night football in his overturned underwear next to the bucket of chicken wings? Then its a medical condition, sure, your suffering from lack of libido syndrome, take a pill.


    ""Here! Iron this, and get me something to eat.""
    LOL
    You got that right! LOL...
    Reply With Quote  
     

  69. #68  
    has lost interest seagypsy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    3,107
    Quote Originally Posted by icewendigo View Post
    Its not Women that have a problem, its our corrupt monetary system society that keeps inventing reasons to sell pills because theres a profit motive, where everything is an excuse to diagnose a "disease" or "medical condition" and SELL Pills for it.


    Are you thirsty? Its a medical condition. Take a Dehydranol pill with 3 glasses of water, you will feel hydraded!
    You are sad because your cat was run over by a car? You suffer from Post-Felinis-Necro-Squashy-isis, take a FeelHappynol
    Your not getting old with lack of exercise, its Osteoporosis, drink milk and take pill supplements with an extra dose of X rays.
    Your feet are tingly because you were sitting in a bad position for hours? Thats Tinglitis, take 2 Placebol and walk around for a minute, but take Placebol daily as a preventive measure.
    Your man isnt romantic, and wants to get it on between Jack-ass and Monday night football in his overturned underwear next to the bucket of chicken wings? Then its a medical condition, sure, your suffering from lack of libido syndrome, take a pill.


    ""Here! Iron this, and get me something to eat.""
    LOL
    There's that pigeon holing thing again. Acting as if men are just dirty uncouth heathens. I have been married to a couple of different assholes. I lost my arousal for htem both. But neither ever wanted to get it on between monday night foot ball and jackass with a bucket of wings nearby. They were both pretty routine and always wanted it the same way. Nothing wrong with how they wanted it except that it never varied. I lost my feelings for them for different reasons. Oddly, if Neverfly wanted get it on in the situation described I'd leap into action for him. Because he varies.

    Maybe if women communicated their needs more clearly to men they would know what we need rather than expecting them to read our minds or pick up on subtle hints.

    lack of arousal, that is psychological in nature, is a two way street to resolve. One gender blaming the other is never gonna fix it.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  70. #69  
    AI's Have More Fun Bad Robot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Washington state
    Posts
    6,114
    Quote Originally Posted by seagypsy View Post

    Maybe if women communicated their needs more clearly to men they would know what we need rather than expecting them to read our minds or pick up on subtle hints.
    You have no idea how many times I've said words to that effect to women I've been with and they still wouldn't tell me. I always had to be willing to stick my neck out in the trial and error method. One women's pervert is another women's great lover, you just have to take your chances. I do draw the line at anything that's painful and I'm not fond of anal sex, and I've seen some fetishes that were a serious turn off. The thing is the woman only has to ask once and then you know for the rest of the time you are together. But in a lot of cases getting the info you need is like pulling teeth. It's always a painful experience.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  71. #70  
    has lost interest seagypsy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    3,107
    This is a second attempt at posting this since the first time didn't go through.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bad Robot View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by seagypsy View Post

    Maybe if women communicated their needs more clearly to men they would know what we need rather than expecting them to read our minds or pick up on subtle hints.
    You have no idea how many times I've said words to that effect to women I've been with and they still wouldn't tell me. I always had to be willing to stick my neck out in the trial and error method. One women's pervert is another women's great lover, you just have to take your chances. I do draw the line at anything that's painful and I'm not fond of anal sex, and I've seen some fetishes that were a serious turn off. The thing is the woman only has to ask once and then you know for the rest of the time you are together. But in a lot of cases getting the info you need is like pulling teeth. It's always a painful experience.
    This can be true. I have witnessed it and been a perpetrator. But I did eventually, after much therapy and marriage counseling learn to do my part in communicating. Where my ex's fell short was the listening skills. I'm not saying that all men are poor listeners, but our society just doesn't put much focus in teaching effective communication. Our society has told men that talking about your feelings is girly and limp wristed. Both genders need to get over the old traditional gender roles that were forced onto us.

    Some men make absolutely wonderful stay at home dads. And some mom's are at their prime working in a competitive career. Does that mean she is wearing the pants in the family? Absolutely not. It means that the couple is well suited to each other, compatible, and bring out the best in one another. Will they still have to work to maintain it. You better believe it. Love is not just some magical thing that happens. It is condition that is created by two people with common goals willing to work and compromise with each other for the mutual benefit of one another and to achieve those goals.

    Too many people go into relationships with their fantasy ideal as their expectation for how things will go. People need to let go of those fantasies because they rarely happen. And if they do, it is no accident. The couple works for it. People rush into things, they don't bother getting to know themselves let alone each other. They let their hormones or social expectations do the thinking for them and they jump the gun. Then when it all goes to shit they sit around looking stupid and want to blame everyone else for what hey had an equal hand in creating.
    Bad Robot likes this.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  72. #71  
    Forum Cosmic Wizard icewendigo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    2,148
    There's that pigeon holing thing again. Acting as if men are just dirty uncouth heathens. I have been married to a couple of different assholes. I lost my arousal for htem both. But neither ever wanted to get it on between monday night foot ball and jackass with a bucket of wings nearby.

    (Psst, its a joke. Just a figure of speech to say the situation/attitude/approach might not be as good as it could be)

    "Maybe if women communicated their needs more clearly to men they would know what we need"

    Amen
    Reply With Quote  
     

  73. #72  
    has lost interest seagypsy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    3,107
    Quote Originally Posted by icewendigo View Post
    There's that pigeon holing thing again. Acting as if men are just dirty uncouth heathens. I have been married to a couple of different assholes. I lost my arousal for htem both. But neither ever wanted to get it on between monday night foot ball and jackass with a bucket of wings nearby.

    (Psst, its a joke. Just a figure of speech to say the situation/attitude/approach might not be as good as it could be)

    "Maybe if women communicated their needs more clearly to men they would know what we need"

    Amen
    Oh sorry, I don't always pick up on humor. I do get your point, I just thought it was a little over simplified.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  74. #73  
    Forum Cosmic Wizard icewendigo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    2,148
    ITs ok, I usually suffer from the opposite misgiving, thinking people are joking when they are not(specially with religion or cultural aspects Im less familiar with). In fact once I figured out that Christian fundamentalist were not comedy acts, I had a hard time convincing my GF that it was not a comedy act (in Youtubes early years).

    I dont even know what pigeon holing means, except that given the context, I think Im slowing penetrating the deeper meaning, nah, I'll google it up just to be sure.

    "In mathematics, the pigeonhole principle states that if n items are put into m pigeonholes with n > m, then at least one pigeonhole must contain more than one item."
    I was wrong, Ill have to read more about that pigeon hole thing, I thought I had done a lot of math, even advanced confusion theory, but I had not come across that theorem, so you put too many things in pigeon holes, one box has more than one, hum, Im not sure why this needs to be specified as a principle (it sounds so obvious, maybe these a nuance Im missing, since they made a page for that), maybe I should check something like an urban dictionary

    ok stereotypes, I get it
    Last edited by icewendigo; June 6th, 2013 at 12:26 AM.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  75. #74  
    AI's Have More Fun Bad Robot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Washington state
    Posts
    6,114
    Quote Originally Posted by icewendigo View Post

    ok stereotypes, I get it
    That's close, but you can pigeonhole someone without using a stereotype. I'd say stereotyping is a social thing where as pigeonholing is more of a personal thing. Hope that helps.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  76. #75  
    has lost interest seagypsy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    3,107
    Quote Originally Posted by Bad Robot View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by icewendigo View Post

    ok stereotypes, I get it
    That's close, but you can pigeonhole someone without using a stereotype. I'd say stereotyping is a social thing where as pigeonholing is more of a personal thing. Hope that helps.
    In that case I may have slightly misused the word. I used it as stereotyping.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  77. #76  
    AI's Have More Fun Bad Robot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Washington state
    Posts
    6,114
    Quote Originally Posted by seagypsy View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Bad Robot View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by icewendigo View Post

    ok stereotypes, I get it
    That's close, but you can pigeonhole someone without using a stereotype. I'd say stereotyping is a social thing where as pigeonholing is more of a personal thing. Hope that helps.
    In that case I may have slightly misused the word. I used it as stereotyping.
    I think it's safe to say you can pigeonhole someone as a stereotype. But a stereotype is generally a misconception of the society as a whole. That's why comedians use them, they are recognized by a large segment of society. But lets say you just don't like someone and you badmouth them behind their backs as a so and so (whatever that may be). That's pigeonholing them, giving them a bad Rep.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  78. #77  
    Theatre Whore babe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Resident of Big Island of Hawai'i since 2003, and in Bayside, Ca. since 1981, Humboldt since 1977
    Posts
    12,445
    that is hilarious!
    Reply With Quote  
     

  79. #78  
    Theatre Whore babe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Resident of Big Island of Hawai'i since 2003, and in Bayside, Ca. since 1981, Humboldt since 1977
    Posts
    12,445
    Laughing!! I have to laugh...I agree!! I have never found myself not to be sexually willing regardless of the time of the month.....sex is mental but it also for most women a matter of stimulation by their partner. My husband and I do not live together 7 months of a year (give or take a week) and he seems to suffer from major SBU when I see him which has adversely affected his hearing. Viagra works wonders.....one pill and they are set to go....
    Reply With Quote  
     

  80. #79  
    Theatre Whore babe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Resident of Big Island of Hawai'i since 2003, and in Bayside, Ca. since 1981, Humboldt since 1977
    Posts
    12,445
    Another unknown fact...even with my doctors...adelady, is that HRT helps keep one lubricated in many ways. In my case, it maintains the lubricaton of my vocal chords. Lack of that makes what you heard in womens voices which was called in my trade "Warbling" of the vibrato. HRT is very very effective in maintaining my vocal skills.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  81. #80  
    AI's Have More Fun Bad Robot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Washington state
    Posts
    6,114
    Quote Originally Posted by babe View Post
    Laughing!! I have to laugh...I agree!! I have never found myself not to be sexually willing regardless of the time of the month.....sex is mental but it also for most women a matter of stimulation by their partner. My husband and I do not live together 7 months of a year (give or take a week) and he seems to suffer from major SBU when I see him which has adversely affected his hearing. Viagra works wonders.....one pill and they are set to go....
    I knew a guy that claimed he took 3 Viagras and had a 6 hour hard on. Said he got off 3 times on the same hard on. Not sure I believed that story or not. Does anyone reading this have first hand knowledge that this can happen?
    Reply With Quote  
     

  82. #81  
    has lost interest seagypsy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    3,107
    My idiot little brother took one once, not having any existing ED, perfectly healthy, and suffered for 8 agonizing hours. apparently the woman gave it to him to get him excited and then walked out on him. I heard about it from my stepbrother. My brother won't talk about it. I wonder if she robbed him since he wasn't able to chase after her like that. I guess I'll never know.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  83. #82  
    AI's Have More Fun Bad Robot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Washington state
    Posts
    6,114
    Quote Originally Posted by seagypsy View Post
    My idiot little brother took one once, not having any existing ED, perfectly healthy, and suffered for 8 agonizing hours. apparently the woman gave it to him to get him excited and then walked out on him. I heard about it from my stepbrother. My brother won't talk about it. I wonder if she robbed him since he wasn't able to chase after her like that. I guess I'll never know.
    Healthy or not one pill shouldn't have caused that kind of problem. I've known lots of healthy men that use the blue pills recreationally and they never had that kind of reaction to one pill.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  84. #83  
    has lost interest seagypsy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    3,107
    Knowing my brother he probably used other drugs with it, amplifying the effects. I know he liked to mix niacin with his weed and niacin causes vascular dilation if I am not mistaken.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  85. #84  
    Theatre Whore babe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Resident of Big Island of Hawai'i since 2003, and in Bayside, Ca. since 1981, Humboldt since 1977
    Posts
    12,445
    They warning says "IF YOU HAVE HAD AN ERECTION FOR MORE THAN 4 HOURS SEE A DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY". *chuckle*

    Sounds funny, but it isn't. It can cause other problems.

    Any and all medications should be used as directd. There IS a reason for that.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  86. #85  
    has lost interest seagypsy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    3,107
    Quote Originally Posted by babe View Post
    They warning says "IF YOU HAVE HAD AN ERECTION FOR MORE THAN 4 HOURS SEE A DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY". *chuckle*

    Sounds funny, but it isn't. It can cause other problems.

    Any and all medications should be used as directd. There IS a reason for that.
    Like I said. My brother is an idiot.
    Reply With Quote  
     

Similar Threads

  1. How can we create a personality we desire?
    By coberst in forum Philosophy
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: November 2nd, 2009, 10:04 AM
  2. Desire As The Prime Belief Motivator?
    By Ron in forum Scientific Study of Religion
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: October 12th, 2009, 04:50 AM
  3. Disorder or Personality?
    By BitterSweet in forum Behavior and Psychology
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: May 26th, 2009, 11:00 AM
  4. Sexual appeal of twins and sexual fantasies...
    By Nicole_Tesla in forum Behavior and Psychology
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: February 8th, 2009, 01:37 AM
  5. Engine of Economic Collapse: Human Desire
    By coberst in forum Philosophy
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: November 1st, 2008, 03:21 PM
Bookmarks
Bookmarks
Posting Permissions
  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •