Thread: Social phobias/mental problem(health)/eye fear /contact/gaze

I'm from China,Male, born in 1983.
I dodn't know what happened to me.
From the year of 2002, I've suffered from the mental problem--social phobias-eye light fear-eye fear-fears of eye-eye contact,or which is called eyelight phobias.I can not call it exactly in English.
Then I can't control my eyelight. Befor other people, I always stare at boys or girls or cops or other men,,or glance men or women' eyes ,skin,even sometimes bosoms , organs, or glance other things(every things you can imagine) ,which indeedly I didn't want to look. No friends,No people understand me.

Please touch me immediately if you have the same symptom: Email: gaogwl@163.com MSN: gaogwl@htomail.com ICQ: 169096437

I want to find the frinds like me that come from all over the word.

[HELP ME,CLICK THIS TOPIC MORE FREQUENTLY. SO THAT WILL BE SEARCHED BY ENGINE .THEN OTHER PEOPLE LIKE WILL FIND ME. THANK YOU IN ADVANCE]

Hmm, your afraid that someone sees you looking in their eyes, uhm?

Wear sunglasses?

Zwolver, while your reply is witty, it shows little sympathy for what is clearly a major problem for gaogwl.

Gaogwl, have you discussed this problem with family, or friends, or a perhaps a doctor? I think you are likely to get more help there than on the internet.

Thanks for your reply. Zwolver and Ophiolite,let me talk about this problem more.
But it's no useful for me to wear a sun glasses.People could still see my eyes. I tried this.
I did not say much about it before others except on net.In fact I dared not to say.

I came into contact with somebody like me on net in China.
And I saw part of them. I found their symptoms were milder than that of mine. I can not control my sight every where at any time even at home with my parents.

When I walking on road,I saw so many people looked angerly at me.Do you know why?Because of my neurosis(or called phobias)--Eye Fear.
I didn't want to look others or to glance other including still things side away,but I can't control my eye(or said my mind exactly). Some times(for example:in a bus) cop or others may suspect me as a thief.So no people understand me.
Is any people like me?Touch me immediately.I'm so lonely.
No friend.Just pain with me.

I am not optimistic about my recover(Because somebody said they've seen the doctors but no use.)
What I want to do is to gather the people like me in this world to talk or face to face to communicate .I think we'll understand each other.

can you think of anything that occured in 2002 which might of upset you?
im not an expert, but it could be anything, from a scean in a film, to a picture in a paper which disturbed you.

im sorry i can't be of more help.

Thank you all the same.
Like other net friends,I want to find ther persons like me on net. I hope I would find.
There 's no friend in the real life.
I like this forum.

This thread has puzzled me for days now.

Is it eye contact that frightens you? (eye contact--looking directly into another person's eyes, as they look at yours)
If so, is it a socially unacceptable to do this in China?

No.
Exactly, It's not eye contact. People in China are same to you. So many foreigners in China are living freely.
What I said is a kind of mental illness,a kind of social phobias,or we could call it eye phobias(or eye fear etc.I don't know how to call it in English).It not just happens in China,but all over the word.
I think the likes are many. I want to find them.

Welcome every body to embellish my article .Transshipment of these words to other web pages is allowed if original intention or purpose not be wholly changed.

A Chinese Boy's Story about Social Phobias of Eye Fear
Gao Weiliang
Let me talk about my story(forgive my poor English).
All of this has been happened in my high school. There was a girl classmate sitting before me.
One day,Ididn't know why(even now I dodn't know why.Maybe there was some conflict between her and her boyfriend) ,she looked at me, stared at me.I knew I was not so handsome,even I thought I was a little ugly.
She's a pretty nice girl.She didn't suffer from social phobias(eye fear).I knew it,and I knew ,she has not really loved me.Alas,maybe it was my error.I fell in love with her secretly.She was so beautiful that most boy students of our class might admired her,more or less.
I did not speak lots to her, till now .I wrote to tell her do not care for me if she has not loved me. But in fact,when she got along other boys I could not helped expressing my sadness.Then she looked at me again and again,and smiled in a friendly way.
I wrote against my will once more to tell her that not be care for me,not to looke at me again,but she did not do so when she saw my sadness.Maybe,maybe she shew sympathy for me.I didn't speak lots to her.
Another one day, we were attending a lecture,so strange,my eye always paid attention to her,I always felt she was in front of me.Even I could not stop noticing that, so as long in a conducting class.This was the first time I felt my Eye-Fear symptom.Passably ,at that time every thing could return to being right after class.
But her profile always reminded me to look, reminded me to note that--the terror of Social Phobias Eye-Fear.Afterwards I gradually paid attention to all studends in class;to all people on road;even to my parents at home;and now to still things (every thins you can imagine).
I finished my high school and strarted higher education in 2002.
It is terrible mental problem (illness). I don't how I passed my college life.Went to sleep when I attending class or skipped the class in order to avoid disturbing others.And other students were also asleep to avoid my eyelights.It was an extremity of pain ,an untold suffering .
No friend.I've seldomly went out.I'v been scare talking with a person,been fear of going a place where person stand,because of the Eye Fear(the mental problem).I can't control my eye.
I was graduated from college in 2005.
[To be continued,forgive my poor English.Contact me if you were similar to me--Email:gaogwl@163.com MSN: gaogwl@hotmail.com MSN Spaces: http://spaces.msn.com/oddlight/ ICQ:169096437]

I am trying to understand what your "illness" is.

Are you afraid of other people's eyes?

You say this is a social phobia? Is there anything that you are afraid of?

You are saying that you are looking everywhere and can't control it. Do you have any reason to be looking everywhere?

Your problem should have come from something that have affected you deeply..it might be pyschologically if you are afraid of looking at other people's eye contacts..because these circumstances just dont happen suddenly by itself. I would recommend that you seek help from a doctor, pyschologist or professional. Even though, you say that it's no use, you should try to see what happens. I mean at least you did something, it wont do you any bad from trying either. Did you say that you know other people who have the same problem as you? Well, I just hope that you get better soon, and don't feel lonely because we are with you, and I mean you should always try to talk to your family. I'm sorry that I cant help you much, but I can give you support and be a friend that can listen at least I hope

Thak FullMoon for your reply.
But there's a big question is I have no money to see the mental doc.
Here in China the medical fee is very expensive,and my salary is few.
So my first action is to earn money.
Yeah,It's very hard to me .So I'm learning web design.I hope some day I will built a great website,from which I can earn money at home,without social action.

I'll add English and bbs to improve my site.I think I'll success

Can you look yourself in the eye in the mirror without discomfort? If you have trouble with that, it would be a good place to start working on the problem.
It's impossible to give you good advice on the little we know beyond "seek help from a professional" which you've said isn't a option. So the best advice I'd give is just to work on the problem a little bit at a time, and to constantly remind yourself that there's nothing to fear. Say it out loud every day, and promise yourself to work on the problem just a tiny little bit each day.

He is right. People may give you funny looks but, the more you are around people the better you will get. In the long run you will end up with more good looks. Good luck.

I'm,,,b...ack!

Thanks for your replies.
I can look myself before mirror.But once a man appeared,then the "devil" came up

hey man, this SEEMS BAD, but i know you will get better if you want. It is NOT BAD. Personally i dont make any eyecontact with anybody. it creeps me out. i cant focus.

if i look at forehead, lips, "over the head" it appears i look people in the eye but really im not that kind of person. when i don't look at eyes i can talk normal, think clear, and be cool. now all of a sudden i look at somebodys eyes (eye contact) all thing goes different so i know how u feel i think. looking into eyes i cant focus, cant think clear, cant talk.

its weird u bring this topic up as i forgot that i do this. people get confused am i looking in they eye or no? it doesnt matter, because u are not a thief or whatever.

if u try u best then just be like "sorry" if you stare, then go from there with the person. act like they accept your apology because they probably do, unless they are a malicious bad person.


some stuff you might want to take into considerating:

how much exercise do you get? have you experimented with drugs? alcohol, marijuana, LSD, others?? Do they help? what do you think about that? is their something that might be "weighing you down" so to speak. i know u in china, but what about the spiritual stuff over there? you into spiritual stuff, religion, and stuff like that?? feel free to answer all of these questions. please.

Is this like paranoia? Do you think everyones looking at you and judgeing you?

It sounds like a nightmare, have you no access to medication?

Thanks for your reply.
Actually speaking,it's not just about eye contact,or about the asia culture.Most people in China or other asia countries can focus others' eyes calmly and amicably.It was caused by some casual affair about the girl i loved in my high school,which i do not want to speak out...
I'm the man,smart,conceit,but no good chance to step up.The relation around me is so bad!
I do few exercise but i really love to do it.No,no drugs I took.Because I think most drugs are harmful to us.Oh,you meant the drug like marijuana,,,,but not medical drug?no no no ,I never take them.And i can assure i'll never take.

you seem like you are beating yourself up over this.

also, im a little lost in understanding the exact and specific "problem" you are experiencing. Please describe as best you can.

what do you see? what do you think about when you look at stuff? is everything going ok besides this eye-light phobia? if you were in a room with 1 other person for an hour, what would you do? what would happen? why did this eyelight phobia happen? what do you think caused it? do you think that since it came such a short time ago it will go away soon?


maybe the best thing is to talk about everything you possibly can about yourself to somebody. THEN wait a few weeks or a long time while not talking hardly at all about yourself. THEN talk about everything to somebody. note what you said differently. you got plenty of time for this.

i am just throwing some stuff out there, but feel free to answer everything i said...

http://www.changethatsrightnow.com/p...SDID=5880:1734

Is this what you are experienceing?

You also want to look for the book Ophthalmology
by Myron Yanoff (Editor), Jay S. Duker (Editor

I do it to say thanks to Sealotter and rickjames.
I'm trying to tell my heart to others.I'm building my website.I think i will finish it in 1 month.
And about http://www.changethatsrightnow.com/p...SDID=5880:1734 ,
I browsed it by the "google".
And I think there's not just I suffer it,but many many people.

Thanks for your support

I'm sorry for no login for so many times
I'm a little busy doing my works, but i'll never not forget this site. i like this site, i want to fine the people who are similar to me

I don't like looking into other people's eyes. But i think it's because i'm afraid of people themselves

Hi

I'm not a doctor but you probably need this therapy

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cogniti...vioral_therapy

I watched this on TV and they helped people with stuff like anxiety disorder and social phobia etc conquer their fears by using this technique.

the main thing was doing the things your afraid of and re programming the brain to know that your worst fears only exist in your head, once they realised this then they really changed.

You should start to think positive about things and realise that the fear is not real.

I wish you the best of luck in recovering, and remember what's the worst that can happen.

maybe you have confidence issues. you said the girl was looking at you and you thought you werent good looking, thats negative self talk. start replacing the negative things you tell yourself with positive things you know about yourself. maybe you dont find yourself attractive, but so what? maybe your funny, smart, honest, unselfish, reliable etc. find some of your strengths and start to feel good about yourself. once you have some confidence people arent so scary. maybe your too self consious. stop thinking so much about what other people are thinking about you, their too busy thinking about themselves to notice every little mistake you make. also maybe your body language is communicating to others that you want to be left alone. do you frown alot? do you cross your arms or legs? do you stare at the floor? all of these little things can tell people you dont want to be bothered any they might even respond to it with a bad look. im not sure i fully grasp the condition you are trying to explain, but if you have trouble making eye contact confidence very well may be a factor. good luck

Tanks Junglist_Movement

Some problems we really can not be controled

I wish every think will be ok

Welcome the one who is going to China in 2008 to meet me at that time.