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Thread: Assistance required: Alien survey (results now available)

  1. #1 Assistance required: Alien survey (results now available) 
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    Hello,

    I am part of a group of Masters of Business Administration (MBA) students running a focus group on 'The best 10 questions to ask a visiting alien'. The focus group will include various backgrounds, eg science, medicine, technology, etc. This project is starting from the perspective that a sentient alien lifeform has just made contact with the Earth and the focus group will be developing a list of the most pertinent questions to ask it.

    To test the validity of our focus response, we would like people from this forum to suggest questions that they would like to ask an alien. While this is a fun and interesting topic, we will be following a serious research methodology. We will be marked on the process that we follow, so require responses from the scientific community. We would encourage anyone with 5 minutes to spare to assist us. All responses will be anonymous.

    If you are interested in helping, could you please PM suggestions to us. We are requesting responses via PM because we would prefer previous answers not to lead subsequent responses.

    It would be helpful to also include the following details so that we can segment our data:

    Age: a) <18 b) 18-25 c) 26-35 d) 36-45 e) 46-55 f) 56-65 g) 66+
    Gender
    Educational/scientific background
    Are you a believer in sentient alien lifeforms?


    If anyone has any questions or concerns, please feel free to raise them on this thread and I will be happy to answer them.

    Thankyou in advance to anyone who assists us.


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  3. #2  
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    "Do you speak English?"

    "Do you have a progressive or cyclical world view?"

    "What is the primary initiating force in most significant historical events?"


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  4. #3  
    Forum Radioactive Isotope cosmictraveler's Avatar
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    I would'nt ask aliens anything for I don't have a alien speech decoder as yet!
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  5. #4  
    Forum Freshman craterchains's Avatar
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    Are you a one of the winners, or losers, in the war of the heavens?

    It's not what you know or don't know, but what you know that isn't so that will hurt you. Will Rodgers 1938
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  6. #5  
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    Guys, we've had 3 replies, and 72 views. Could people viewing this please give us 5 minutes of your time to suggest questions. While the topic might seem a little out there, we are following proper research methodologies, and need thrid party responses to back up our focus group.

    Our focus group will contain people from Defence, Science, Government, Politics, Technology, religion, etc. It is a properly formulated group with credentials.

    Responses received from this forum will be used as part of a 3 stage process to validate the focus group responses.

    Please assist us with responses!

    Thank you to those who have already responded and to those who will.
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  7. #6  
    Forum Freshman FieryIce's Avatar
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    Questions:
    1) Are you a one of the winners, or losers, in the war of the heavens?
    2) Unders whose authority are you?

    Those are the main questions to ever ask, once those questions are answered with the appropiate response then further discussion would be possible, otherwise, resist and they will flee; they would not be your friend.
    Tic Toc
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  8. #7  
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    How did you overcome the, to you probably, obvious problem of crossing such vast expanses of space, without affecting time in a way that would result in being unable to return home?

    MR U
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  9. #8  
    Forum Sophomore cleft's Avatar
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    What could we learn from you?

    What are you willing to teach us and why?

    Why are you here?
    "Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo."
    - H. G. Wells (1866-1946)
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  10. #9  
    Forum Isotope (In)Sanity's Avatar
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    It's funny, we eat primates. So the question I have is

    Are you going to eat us ?

    Did you put us here?

    Is that a mask or are you just that ugly?

    If I shoot you with this gun will you die?

    Do you need any pets?

    Why do you hide?

    Does George Bush worry you ?

    Sorry, but I can't be serious at the moment
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  11. #10  
    Forum Freshman FieryIce's Avatar
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    Do you really think you are conversing with all humans in these forums?

    Why do you BET's (Bad Extraterrestrials) hate us humans so much yet want to be like us?....LOL

    Just imagine, no daylight, that must suck.
    Tic Toc
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  12. #11  
    Forum Masters Degree invert_nexus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FieryIce
    Do you really think you are conversing with all humans in these forums?

    Why do you BET's (Bad Extraterrestrials) hate us humans so much yet want to be like us?....LOL

    Just imagine, no daylight, that must suck.
    Yes.
    Yes.
    War in the heavens.
    Demons are bad et's.
    Angels are good et's.
    We're all going to be either killed or forced underground for a thousand years and have to live without daylight.
    You've discovered all this by reading your bible.

    So.What?

    Do you really have to pollute every thread you touch with the same goddamn thing over and over again?

    Believe what you want to believe, but you're so god damned annoying.
    Why don't you have a chld or something? Maybe that would take your mind off of your obsessive disorder? (I am fully aware that you would be a horrible mother and would raise a chld that would most likely grow up to be a serial killer or a suicide, but if it shuts you up I don't care.)
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  13. #12  
    Forum Freshman FieryIce's Avatar
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    Thank you
    Tic Toc
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  14. #13  
    Forum Masters Degree invert_nexus's Avatar
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    FieryIce,

    Thank you
    You know. I start to feel bad about being such an asshole to you, but all I have to do is go back up to this:
    <BLOCKQUOTE>"Do you really think you are conversing with all humans in these forums?

    Why do you BET's (Bad Extraterrestrials) hate us humans so much yet want to be like us?....LOL

    Just imagine, no daylight, that must suck."</BLOCKQUOTE>
    And suddenly I remember why I was such an asshole.
    Get over it.
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  15. #14  
    Forum Freshman Destruct's Avatar
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    1) When you leave, could you take me with you?
    2) Why did you bother coming here when you could have just simulated us on a computer based on our radio transmissions?
    3) Wait, are we simulations?
    4) Are you going to perform bizarre experiments on us?
    5) If so, could I please be in the pleasurable experiments as opposed to the pain and stress test experiements.
    6) How many orders of magnitude is you intelligence greater than ours?
    7) Do you have time and/or inter-universe travel?
    8) Do our physics ideas look like a quaint joke, a really poor approximation, or very close to something you'd respect?
    9) How do you feel about human/alien sexual relationships?
    10) This book you've got, "To Serve Mankind," is this by the same alien that wrote "How to Cook For Forty Humans?"
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  16. #15  
    Forum Freshman Communist Hamster's Avatar
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    Do you have a rich west-style place and a poor africa-style place on your planet?
    Up the workers!
    Down Mcdonalds and their evil McCholesterol McShite
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  17. #16  
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    Sorry for the delay to those interested in the results, for those interested, all submissions were put onto 2 independent surveys, and 24 questions received enough response to be shortlisted (in no particular order):

    1. How can we help you?
    2. How would you describe your socio-organisational-political system in terms of your history?
    3. Why did you come to Earth?
    4. What can you tell us that would benefit our civilisation?/What could we learn from you?
    5. Does time mean anything to you?
    6. How many civilisations are there in the galaxy and how do they interact?
    7. Can you express your technology in terms that we would understand?
    8. Give us everything you've got!
    9. Does God exist?
    10. Do you have emotions (do you feel love)?
    11. What are your greatest threats?
    12. How do you reproduce/procreate?
    13. Do parallel universes exist?
    14. What food or fuel do you use?
    15. What senses do you possess?
    16. What psychic power do you have?
    17. Where are you from?
    18. How did you get here?
    19. Do you speak English?
    20. What is your homeworld like?
    21. Can we co-exist in peace?
    22. Would you be willing to conquer our plant and rule it as a fiefdom, thus uniting our people for the
    first time in global history and, finally, eliminating war, disease and poverty?
    23. Have you been here before?
    24. How can you help us?


    Some of the suggestions on the shorlist were slightly modified according to the following criteria provided to us for the project. The top 10 questions (in order of first to be asked to last to be asked) are:

    1. Why have you come here?
    2. How many civilisations are there in the galaxy and how do they interact?
    3. How can we help, and learn from, each other?
    4. How would you describe your socio-organisational-political system in terms of your history?
    5. Where are you from?
    6. How did you get here?
    7. How do you reproduce/procreate?
    8. What are your spiritual and religious views?
    9. What details can you express about your technologies (in terms that we would understand)?
    10. What is your homeworld like?

    Thank you to all those that submitted a response, the assistance of people on this site greatly assisted us through providing questions for our surveys.
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  18. #17  
    Forum Sophomore Phlogistician's Avatar
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    Hi, could you add the following questions?

    'Next time you abduct me, could you warm up the anal probe first?'

    'Yes, guys like breasts, but having three on the hybrid chicks I have to copulate with is not better, it's just weird. Can I save your race by copulating with a two breasted alien hybrid chick for a change?'

    'Can you give me the remote control for my implant, so I can tune it into a Radio station I like?'

    'Can you next abduct me on Feb 3rd, 2006, and drop me and my luggage off in Val d'Isere France, and then again, two weeks later and return me home?'

    'Can we have Elvis back?'
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  19. #18 Cash Surveys 
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    A paid or incentivized survey is a type of statistical survey where the participant is rewarded through an incentive program, generally entry into a sweepstakes program or a small cash reward, for completing one or more surveys.

    =========================

    rene

    Cash Surveys
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  20. #19 Re: Assistance required: Alien survey (results now available 
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    Quote Originally Posted by alienmba
    Hello, I am part of a group of Masters of Business Administration (MBA) students running a focus group on 'The best 10 questions to ask a visiting alien'.
    wot the...? you people wouldn't know a ponzi scheme from a hole in the ground and you put this country in a hell of a mess and your problem is what to ask visiting aliens? what makes you think you'd ever get the chance over the scientific community to even approach them? unless they came to check why you failed to do a proper admin job on madoff? aliens now part of your curriculum? no wonder wall street sinks... and why would aliens be interested in your questions in the first place? believe I know what I'm talking about as I am scrolling through the latest messages here waiting for my ufo to get me out of this godforsaken airport but I guess it passes the time... but WAIT I might have just the right guy for you. check this same section under the heading 'new guy' that guy is a certified alien and since he's got an IQ of 130 I'm sure he will have answers to all of your questions.
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