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Thread: Sex!

  1. #1 Sex! 
    Your Mama! GiantEvil's Avatar
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    Ha! I made you look!
    Well that being said, I now have a question for any members who might have bothered to read some of my posts. I am in need of a source of income that is somewhat free of scheduling due to medical necessity, and am considering freelance writing.
    The ins and outs of the business of writing I can research for myself, what I need is opinions concerning my writing. I figure to get by I need to observably be able to write at the level of a standard commercial hack. In peoples opinions, do I currently qualify on at least that level?
    I will also accept critiques on all areas of my writing I have so far displayed. I personally consider my mechanical technique as acceptable. But I also posses a "sense" that my writing doesn't "flow" properly. And yes, I did use the scare quotes intentionally, as that is the limits of my ability do define these things at this moment.
    I would also be interested in opinions about sub fields or specialties in writing that I might do well in, or should avoid without more practice.

    Thanks for time and consideration, GE.


    I was some of the mud that got to sit up and look around.
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  3. #2  
    Life-Size Nanoputian Flick Montana's Avatar
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    I got a lot of freelance writing gigs from oDesk.com when I was supplementing my income during rough times. They were pretty reliable and I had steady (if poor-paying) work.


    "Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." -Calvin
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  4. #3  
    ▼▼ dn ʎɐʍ sıɥʇ ▼▼ RedPanda's Avatar
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    I find this difficult to masturbate to.
    SayBigWords.com/say/3FC

    "And, behold, I come quickly;" Revelation 22:12

    "Religions are like sausages. When you know how they are made, you no longer want them."
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  5. #4  
    Bullshit Intolerant PhDemon's Avatar
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    That's because you've been shaking hands with yourself too much and you can't see it http://www.thescienceforum.com/trash...blindness.html
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  6. #5  
    Samurai of Logic Falconer360's Avatar
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    I currently am a signed on as a freelance writer for the comedy website Cracked.com. I suggest trying your hand there. I have yet to create an article but I have helped others edit theirs. Cracked pays $100 an article for the first five then $200 an article for any after that. They also pay for photoplasty and for short articles but the rates are different. Also you can receive extra pay if your article is popular enough. From what I've seen of your posts over the years, I think you can do it GiantEvil.
    "For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled." Hunter S Thompson

    "It is easy to kill someone with a slash of a sword. It is hard to be impossible for others to cut down"
    - Yagyu Munenori

    "Only a warrior chooses pacifism; others are condemned to it."
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  7. #6  
    Your Mama! GiantEvil's Avatar
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    Thank you for the responses from the responsible.

    And for the jokers out to pull Johnsons, this thread is about the strokes of my giant poison pen. Ha!
    I was some of the mud that got to sit up and look around.
    Lucky me. Lucky mud.
    -Kurt Vonnegut Jr.-
    Cat's Cradle.
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  8. #7  
    Malignant Pimple shlunka's Avatar
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    You could also check with local newspapers (not for sex, though my sex life can be found in the obituaries), most pay decently and are looking for those with creativity. The only real way to make money with writing is constructing a turgid love letter for some desperate rich woman, who will then fall madly in love with you and allow you access to her money and home.
    "MODERATOR NOTE : We don't entertain trolls here, not even in the trash can. Banned." -Markus Hanke
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  9. #8  
    Not the Messiah Challenger-X2's Avatar
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    Thanks for the cracked.com and odesk.com tips. I think I will try those out.
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  10. #9  
    Cooking Something Good MacGyver1968's Avatar
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    -reported for false advertising..and off-title thread drift.




    Here...let me get the thread back on topic.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Fixin' shit that ain't broke.
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  11. #10  
    Samurai of Logic Falconer360's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGyver1968 View Post
    -reported for false advertising..and off-title thread drift.




    Here...let me get the thread back on topic.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Thanks for getting the thread back on topic.
    "For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled." Hunter S Thompson

    "It is easy to kill someone with a slash of a sword. It is hard to be impossible for others to cut down"
    - Yagyu Munenori

    "Only a warrior chooses pacifism; others are condemned to it."
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  12. #11  
    Your Mama! GiantEvil's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Falconer360 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by MacGyver1968 View Post
    -reported for false advertising..and off-title thread drift.




    Here...let me get the thread back on topic.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Thanks for getting the thread back on topic.
    Yes, thanks for bringing the thread back on topic; Handling Fresh Cantaloupe
    I was some of the mud that got to sit up and look around.
    Lucky me. Lucky mud.
    -Kurt Vonnegut Jr.-
    Cat's Cradle.
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  13. #12  
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    Quote Originally Posted by GiantEvil View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Falconer360 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by MacGyver1968 View Post
    -reported for false advertising..and off-title thread drift.




    Here...let me get the thread back on topic.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Thanks for getting the thread back on topic.
    Yes, thanks for bringing the thread back on topic; Handling Fresh Cantaloupe
    Why are we discussing melons now!
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  14. #13  
    Samurai of Logic Falconer360's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robittybob1 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by GiantEvil View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Falconer360 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by MacGyver1968 View Post
    -reported for false advertising..and off-title thread drift.




    Here...let me get the thread back on topic.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Thanks for getting the thread back on topic.
    Yes, thanks for bringing the thread back on topic; Handling Fresh Cantaloupe
    Why are we discussing melons now!
    Clearly GiantEvil is going to write an article for Cracked on facts about melons.
    "For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled." Hunter S Thompson

    "It is easy to kill someone with a slash of a sword. It is hard to be impossible for others to cut down"
    - Yagyu Munenori

    "Only a warrior chooses pacifism; others are condemned to it."
    Reply With Quote  
     

  15. #14  
    Your Mama! GiantEvil's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Falconer360
    Clearly GiantEvil is going to write an article for Cracked on facts about melons.
    I should reference the melons in binomial nomenclature, Greek is funny and sciency!
    I was some of the mud that got to sit up and look around.
    Lucky me. Lucky mud.
    -Kurt Vonnegut Jr.-
    Cat's Cradle.
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  16. #15  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Falconer360 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Robittybob1 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by GiantEvil View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Falconer360 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by MacGyver1968 View Post
    -reported for false advertising..and off-title thread drift.




    Here...let me get the thread back on topic.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Thanks for getting the thread back on topic.
    Yes, thanks for bringing the thread back on topic; Handling Fresh Cantaloupe
    Why are we discussing melons now!
    Clearly GiantEvil is going to write an article for Cracked on facts about melons.
    Does he need any help? Is he up to it?
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  17. #16  
    Your Mama! GiantEvil's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robittybob1
    Does he need any help? Is he up to it?
    I suppose that a satirist who couldn't pull any Johnsons isn't going to make the money shot.
    I was some of the mud that got to sit up and look around.
    Lucky me. Lucky mud.
    -Kurt Vonnegut Jr.-
    Cat's Cradle.
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  18. #17  
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    Quote Originally Posted by GiantEvil View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Robittybob1
    Does he need any help? Is he up to it?
    I suppose that a satirist who couldn't pull any Johnsons isn't going to make the money shot.
    I'm feeling inadequate now. What does "pull any Johnsons" really mean? I've never struck that expression.
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  19. #18  
    Your Mama! GiantEvil's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robittybob1 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by GiantEvil View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Robittybob1
    Does he need any help? Is he up to it?
    I suppose that a satirist who couldn't pull any Johnsons isn't going to make the money shot.
    I'm feeling inadequate now. What does "pull any Johnsons" really mean? I've never struck that expression.
    If it helps any, the context is puerile sexual humor.
    I was some of the mud that got to sit up and look around.
    Lucky me. Lucky mud.
    -Kurt Vonnegut Jr.-
    Cat's Cradle.
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  20. #19  
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    Quote Originally Posted by GiantEvil View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Robittybob1 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by GiantEvil View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Robittybob1
    Does he need any help? Is he up to it?
    I suppose that a satirist who couldn't pull any Johnsons isn't going to make the money shot.
    I'm feeling inadequate now. What does "pull any Johnsons" really mean? I've never struck that expression.
    If it helps any, the context is puerile sexual humor.
    No even that hasn't done the trick.
    PS: I see there is a whole family of Johnsons living in Google http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Johnson
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