Thread: Sex!

Ha! I made you look!
Well that being said, I now have a question for any members who might have bothered to read some of my posts. I am in need of a source of income that is somewhat free of scheduling due to medical necessity, and am considering freelance writing.
The ins and outs of the business of writing I can research for myself, what I need is opinions concerning my writing. I figure to get by I need to observably be able to write at the level of a standard commercial hack. In peoples opinions, do I currently qualify on at least that level?
I will also accept critiques on all areas of my writing I have so far displayed. I personally consider my mechanical technique as acceptable. But I also posses a "sense" that my writing doesn't "flow" properly. And yes, I did use the scare quotes intentionally, as that is the limits of my ability do define these things at this moment.
I would also be interested in opinions about sub fields or specialties in writing that I might do well in, or should avoid without more practice.

Thanks for time and consideration, GE.

I got a lot of freelance writing gigs from oDesk.com when I was supplementing my income during rough times. They were pretty reliable and I had steady (if poor-paying) work.

I find this difficult to masturbate to.

That's because you've been shaking hands with yourself too much and you can't see it http://www.thescienceforum.com/trash...blindness.html

I currently am a signed on as a freelance writer for the comedy website Cracked.com. I suggest trying your hand there. I have yet to create an article but I have helped others edit theirs. Cracked pays $100 an article for the first five then $200 an article for any after that. They also pay for photoplasty and for short articles but the rates are different. Also you can receive extra pay if your article is popular enough. From what I've seen of your posts over the years, I think you can do it GiantEvil.

Thank you for the responses from the responsible.

And for the jokers out to pull Johnsons, this thread is about the strokes of my giant poison pen. Ha!

You could also check with local newspapers (not for sex, though my sex life can be found in the obituaries), most pay decently and are looking for those with creativity. The only real way to make money with writing is constructing a turgid love letter for some desperate rich woman, who will then fall madly in love with you and allow you access to her money and home.

Thanks for the cracked.com and odesk.com tips. I think I will try those out.

-reported for false advertising..and off-title thread drift.




Here...let me get the thread back on topic.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Originally Posted by MacGyver1968

-reported for false advertising..and off-title thread drift.




Here...let me get the thread back on topic.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Thanks for getting the thread back on topic.

Originally Posted by Falconer360

Originally Posted by MacGyver1968

-reported for false advertising..and off-title thread drift.




Here...let me get the thread back on topic.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Thanks for getting the thread back on topic.

Yes, thanks for bringing the thread back on topic; Handling Fresh Cantaloupe

Originally Posted by GiantEvil

Originally Posted by Falconer360

Originally Posted by MacGyver1968

-reported for false advertising..and off-title thread drift.




Here...let me get the thread back on topic.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Thanks for getting the thread back on topic.

Yes, thanks for bringing the thread back on topic; Handling Fresh Cantaloupe

Why are we discussing melons now!

Originally Posted by Robittybob1

Originally Posted by GiantEvil

Originally Posted by Falconer360

Originally Posted by MacGyver1968

-reported for false advertising..and off-title thread drift.




Here...let me get the thread back on topic.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Thanks for getting the thread back on topic.

Yes, thanks for bringing the thread back on topic; Handling Fresh Cantaloupe

Why are we discussing melons now!

Clearly GiantEvil is going to write an article for Cracked on facts about melons.

Originally Posted by Falconer360

Clearly GiantEvil is going to write an article for Cracked on facts about melons.

I should reference the melons in binomial nomenclature, Greek is funny and sciency!

Originally Posted by Falconer360

Originally Posted by Robittybob1

Originally Posted by GiantEvil

Originally Posted by Falconer360

Originally Posted by MacGyver1968

-reported for false advertising..and off-title thread drift.




Here...let me get the thread back on topic.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Thanks for getting the thread back on topic.

Yes, thanks for bringing the thread back on topic; Handling Fresh Cantaloupe

Why are we discussing melons now!

Clearly GiantEvil is going to write an article for Cracked on facts about melons.

Does he need any help? Is he up to it?

Originally Posted by Robittybob1

Does he need any help? Is he up to it?

I suppose that a satirist who couldn't pull any Johnsons isn't going to make the money shot.

Originally Posted by GiantEvil

Originally Posted by Robittybob1

Does he need any help? Is he up to it?

I suppose that a satirist who couldn't pull any Johnsons isn't going to make the money shot.

I'm feeling inadequate now. What does "pull any Johnsons" really mean? I've never struck that expression.

Originally Posted by Robittybob1

Originally Posted by GiantEvil

Originally Posted by Robittybob1

Does he need any help? Is he up to it?

I suppose that a satirist who couldn't pull any Johnsons isn't going to make the money shot.

I'm feeling inadequate now. What does "pull any Johnsons" really mean? I've never struck that expression.

If it helps any, the context is puerile sexual humor.

Originally Posted by GiantEvil

Originally Posted by Robittybob1

Originally Posted by GiantEvil

Originally Posted by Robittybob1

Does he need any help? Is he up to it?

I suppose that a satirist who couldn't pull any Johnsons isn't going to make the money shot.

I'm feeling inadequate now. What does "pull any Johnsons" really mean? I've never struck that expression.

If it helps any, the context is puerile sexual humor.

No even that hasn't done the trick.
PS: I see there is a whole family of Johnsons living in Google http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Johnson