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Thread: What is your favorite bible passage?

  1. #1 What is your favorite bible passage? 
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    My favorite bible passage is Matthew 4, Jesus is tested in the wilderness, where Jesus is tempted by the devil. Jesus answers all three of the devils attempts to corrupt his correctly. Matthew 4 shows the depth of his faith and wisdom. He even resisted the temptation to rule all the kingdoms if Jesus bowed down and worshiped him. After all he would reign in heaven with God and the angels, and one day us, forever. I found it odd that the devil would even try to tempt Jesus because he is the Son of God, how could he give in?


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  3. #2  
    Genius Duck Moderator Dywyddyr's Avatar
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    How does this fall under the rubric of "Scientific Study of Religion"?


    "[Dywyddyr] makes a grumpy bastard like me seem like a happy go lucky scamp" - PhDemon
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  4. #3  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dywyddyr View Post
    How does this fall under the rubric of "Scientific Study of Religion"?
    Would general discussion better suit this topic? I could have it moved.
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  5. #4  
    Life-Size Nanoputian Flick Montana's Avatar
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    My favorite verse is: Ash nazg durbatulūk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulūk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.

    Pretty sure that's in the Bible...
    "Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." -Calvin
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  6. #5  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flick Montana View Post
    My favorite verse is: Ash nazg durbatulūk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulūk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.

    Pretty sure that's in the Bible...
    Whats that mean in English Flick? It sounds Coptic or something!
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  7. #6  
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    I think my favorite is from the Book of Job where God and the Devil decide to screw Job over to settle a small bet between them.
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  8. #7  
    Genius Duck Moderator Dywyddyr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mmatt9876 View Post
    Whats that mean in English Flick?
    Burn the heretic!
    Apostate!
    "[Dywyddyr] makes a grumpy bastard like me seem like a happy go lucky scamp" - PhDemon
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  9. #8  
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    Book of Armaments , Chapter 2, Verses 9-21



    Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.

    And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chu..

    And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.
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  10. #9  
    Ascended Member Ascended's Avatar
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    Jesus wept.
    Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it. - confucius
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  11. #10  
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    Quote Originally Posted by mmatt9876 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Flick Montana View Post
    My favorite verse is: Ash nazg durbatulūk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulūk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.

    Pretty sure that's in the Bible...
    Whats that mean in English Flick? It sounds Coptic or something!
    Put it in Google Translate and see if Flick has the Gift of Tongues.
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  12. #11  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chucknorium View Post
    Book of Armaments , Chapter 2, Verses 9-21



    Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.

    And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chu..

    And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.
    "Jesus pissed himself laughing" Then "Jesus wept".
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  13. #12  
    Bullshit Intolerant PhDemon's Avatar
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    Proverbs 15:2, handy for crank spotting...
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  14. #13  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ascended View Post
    Jesus wept.
    Because in the last night's match Jesus saved, but Rooney netted the rebound.
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  15. #14  
    Bullshit Intolerant PhDemon's Avatar
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    So Jesus was a goalkeeper? Another reason he doesn't like crosses... *gets coat*
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  16. #15  
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    Quote Originally Posted by PhDemon View Post
    So Jesus was a goalkeeper? Another reason he doesn't like crosses... *gets coat*
    Well, of course. (But, admittedly, he hasn't played against Rooney yet. Maybe in 2018, but he's getting a bit old . . . .)

    José de Jesśs Corona - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    Last edited by Chucknorium; July 20th, 2014 at 07:03 PM.
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  17. #16  
    Bullshit Intolerant PhDemon's Avatar
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    For the religious age is no object. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwmmX0Ms3D0

    The link seems to be buggered but it was meant to be a clip from this:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Escape_from_Victory
    Last edited by PhDemon; July 21st, 2014 at 02:31 AM. Reason: fixed link but still won't work...
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  18. #17  
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    I'm an atheist, but then for me:

    "Let he without sin cast the first stone."

    I can't remember where in the Gospels it says this.

    Kind of reminds me that everybody is flawed.
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  19. #18  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flick Montana View Post
    My favorite verse is: deleted
    Pretty sure that's in the Bible...
    Never before has anyone dared post words of that tongue here. Consider that a final warning.

    One does not simply utter the Black Speech in the Science Forum…
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  20. #19  
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    Quote Originally Posted by pineapples View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Flick Montana View Post
    My favorite verse is: deleted
    Pretty sure that's in the Bible...
    Never before has anyone dared post words of that tongue here. Consider that a final warning.

    One does not simply utter the Black Speech in the Science Forum…
    What will happen to Flick if he was to use the Black Speech again?
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  21. #20  
    Bullshit Intolerant PhDemon's Avatar
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    He'll be sent to Hell where all he will have to read are posts made by you, Mayflow and Stargate for all eternity...
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  22. #21  
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    Quote Originally Posted by PhDemon View Post
    He'll be sent to Hell where all he will have to read are posts made by you, Mayflow and Stargate for all eternity...
    Haven't you heard of the great divide?
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  23. #22  
    Bullshit Intolerant PhDemon's Avatar
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    Is it between the people I listed and reality?
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    Quote Originally Posted by PhDemon View Post
    Is it between the people I listed and reality?
    What does Mowgli say?

    "The Great Divide"

    I head east towards the city
    and when the sun goes down I’m heading home again
    the city lights have left me empty
    they’ve replaced the stars that used to shine so bright
    So I will smile and I’ll keep you close
    and when the sun brings in the morning
    I know today will be better than the last
    As I turn into the evening
    I pray my dreams will come and I’ll cross the great divide
    Don’t, don’t go changin’
    please, please come and save me
    With your smile, you keep me close
    oh how you move me
    with your love, oh how it swept right through me
    and with your smile you bring heaven
    they say the west is home to reason
    so that’s where I’ve gone
    I’ve gone to meet my maker
    and when I find what I was made for
    this soul of mine will finally find some peace
    So I will smile and I’ll see you there


    Thanks THE MOWGLI'S LYRICS - The Great Divide
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  25. #24  
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    Quote Originally Posted by PhDemon View Post
    Is it between the people I listed and reality?
    That would be a yes then...
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    Quote Originally Posted by PhDemon View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by PhDemon View Post
    Is it between the people I listed and reality?
    That would be a yes then...
    My favorite quote:
    All the Promises of God Are Yes in Christ
    2 Corinthians 1:15-20
    So it is Yes!
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  27. #26  
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  28. #27  
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    Quote Originally Posted by PhDemon View Post
    Lost for words?
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  29. #28  
    Bullshit Intolerant PhDemon's Avatar
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    Nope, just bored with talking to someone who quotes second rate song lyrics and irrelevant Bible verses...
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  30. #29  
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    Quote Originally Posted by PhDemon View Post
    Nope, just bored with talking to someone who quotes second rate song lyrics and irrelevant Bible verses...
    Not much I can do about that! Good night. Bed time for me.
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  31. #30  
    Forum Radioactive Isotope cosmictraveler's Avatar
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    I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. [George Carlin]


    Trillions and trillions of prayers every day asking and begging and pleading for favors. 'Do this' 'Gimme that' 'I want a new car' 'I want a better job'. And most of this praying takes place on Sunday. And I say fine, pray for anything you want. Pray for anything. But...what about the divine plan? Remember that? The divine plan. Long time ago god made a divine plan. Gave it a lot of thought. Decided it was a good plan. Put it into practice. And for billion and billions of years the divine plan has been doing just fine. Now you come along and pray for something. Well, suppose the thing you want isn't in god's divine plan. What do you want him to do? Change his plan? Just for you? Doesn't it seem a little arrogant? It's a divine plan. What's the use of being god if every run-down schmuck with a two dollar prayer book can come along and fuck up your plan? And here's something else, another problem you might have; suppose your prayers aren't answered. What do you say? 'Well it's god's will. God's will be done.' Fine, but if it gods will and he's going to do whatever he wants to anyway; why the fuck bother praying in the first place? Seems like a big waste of time to me. Couldn't you just skip the praying part and get right to his will? [George Carlin, from "You Are All Diseased".]


    You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Joe Pesci. Two reasons; first of all, I think he's a good actor. Ok. To me, that counts. Second; he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn't fuck around. Doesn't fuck around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that god was having trouble with. For years I asked god to do something about my noisy neighbor with the barking dog. Joe Pesci straightened that cock-sucker out with one visit. [George Carlin, from "You Are All Diseased".]
    When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.
    Jimi Hendrix
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  32. #31  
    Bullshit Intolerant PhDemon's Avatar
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    You've got to love George Carlin, one of my favourite comedians, hit the nail on the head so often, even in later life playing the Cardinal in Dogma... (Ok I was raised Catholic but one of my favourite films -- my early education may explain why I find it so funny)
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  33. #32  
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    George Carlin's skit on the ten commandments is also good. Good satire.
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  34. #33  
    Cooking Something Good MacGyver1968's Avatar
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    Although I'm an Atheist, I do like Matt. 25:40

    "for what you do to the least of my brethren. you do unto me." It's just good advice for living....dont be a greedy bastard, and help those that have less than you.
    Fixin' shit that ain't broke.
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