Apologies to the forum

**seagypsy** · January 11th, 2013, 06:55 PM

I want to apologize to the forum. Recently I haven't been posting as much and when I do, I know I am coming across quite abrasive and harsh. My thought processes have always been this way but it seems I always managed to buff out the rough edges or simply withhold thoughts entirely in an effort to preserve the pleasantries necessary to remain likable in society.

I had a medical emergency over Christmas that resulted in a new medication being added to my diet and since I've been taking it my mood seems to be in a constant state of "I don't give a flying ....... about how others feel ". This is part of the reason I haven't been logging in much.

I am trying to return to normal but I can't promise anyone anything. And if you address me on anything I can pretty much promise you that I will tell you to bite me and get over it.

All I can say is take what I say with a grain of salt. Nothing that comes from me is personal, because, well, I don't care about anyone enough to have personal feelings towards anyone on here. Though I have to admit, it feels good having my honesty switch stuck in the ON position.

So please for the love of all that doesn't matter, don't get your panties in a wad if I say something that rubs you the wrong way. Yeah it probably means I don't think much of you or whatever opinion you have posted, but its not like you care about me so it should all be fair and fun farts for all right?

Its hard to make a convincing apology when you are having trouble pretending to care if feeling get hurt.

Related Discussions:

**Neverfly** · January 11th, 2013, 09:17 PM

I noticed that I've been a bit harsh lately on here, as well.

But I will vouch that face to face, SG, is nowhere near as abrasive as some may think looking at some posts. I've read some posts from her lately that made my hair stand on end.

**seagypsy** · January 11th, 2013, 09:21 PM

What hair?

**Neverfly** · January 11th, 2013, 09:24 PM

C'mere, I'll show ya.

**pmb** · January 12th, 2013, 12:04 AM

Originally Posted by seagypsy

I want to apologize to the forum.

It wasn't too long ago that you told me that you intended on being a cold heartless bitch. Whe n you say you want to appologize to the forum does that mean all people in the forum including me? If so then no. I reject your appology. From what I'm seeing all this seems to say that this is the real you inside, i.e. cold hearted bitch (CHB). I don't want to be near any CHB nice or not nice. To say that you're sorry must come from the inside, not something prima facia. What is the real you like inside? Would we want to know o talk to her? If so then why?

**seagypsy** · January 12th, 2013, 12:28 AM

Originally Posted by pmb

Originally Posted by seagypsy

I want to apologize to the forum.

It wasn't too long ago that you told me that you intended on being a cold heartless bitch. Whe n you say you want to appologize to the forum does that mean all people in the forum including me? If so then no. I reject your appology. From what I'm seeing all this seems to say that this is the real you inside, i.e. cold hearted bitch (CHB). I don't want to be near any CHB nice or not nice. To say that you're sorry must come from the inside, not something prima facia. What is the real you like inside? Would we want to know o talk to her? If so then why?

The apology does not apply to liars so fear not, it does not apply to you. I never said I INTENDED to be a cold heartless bitch. It was just an observation that I am one. To say I intend on it is like saying a bunny intends to be a bunny. Sorry but a bunny is a bunny simply because it is a bunny. Not because it intends to be one.

And I don't want to be near a sniveling whining ball-less wonder so put me on ignore and stop threatening to do it. Just do it. Ignore me. You can't though, can you. You are drawn to me. I fascinate you. You can't NOT respond. You just can't resist. You like abuse. You haven't been whining at all. You have been reveling in it haven't you. You love the attention. Any attention, even negative. Anything that will give you justification for sympathy begging.

**Harold14370** · January 12th, 2013, 01:40 AM

Originally Posted by pmb

Originally Posted by seagypsy

I want to apologize to the forum.

It wasn't too long ago that you told me that you intended on being a cold heartless bitch. Whe n you say you want to appologize to the forum does that mean all people in the forum including me? If so then no. I reject your appology. From what I'm seeing all this seems to say that this is the real you inside, i.e. cold hearted bitch (CHB). I don't want to be near any CHB nice or not nice. To say that you're sorry must come from the inside, not something prima facia. What is the real you like inside? Would we want to know o talk to her? If so then why?

I was starting to feel some sympathy for you, pmb, until you posted this. I suggest all participants in the squabbling put one another on ignore. I require that the personal attacks stop now.

**pmb** · January 12th, 2013, 02:17 AM

Originally Posted by Harold14370

Originally Posted by pmb

Originally Posted by seagypsy

I want to apologize to the forum.

It wasn't too long ago that you told me that you intended on being a cold heartless bitch. Whe n you say you want to appologize to the forum does that mean all people in the forum including me? If so then no. I reject your appology. From what I'm seeing all this seems to say that this is the real you inside, i.e. cold hearted bitch (CHB). I don't want to be near any CHB nice or not nice. To say that you're sorry must come from the inside, not something prima facia. What is the real you like inside? Would we want to know o talk to her? If so then why?

I was starting to feel some sympathy for you, pmb, until you posted this.

Why? Is it because I don't blindly accept vauge appologies with nothing saying that she regrets what she did and won't do it again? That's all I was doing. She was being exceptionally cruel in her comments and she got back what she gave but in a filtered form, stern and assertive rather than attacking and insulting. All I was doing was asking if she planned on going back to the CHB later. I don't know this person. The only thing I know about her is a PM I got from her. It was very nice of her to send it too. The next time I see her name its attached to flames and more later with full guns blaring. And that's all because she doesn't like the manner in which I repond to cyberbullies. Her flames were being constantly ignored by the moderator John Galt too. Some moderator. He's moderator who is allowed to be rude when the rules forbid it. He was rude to me merely because he had a had time understanding something I wrote and then made an invalid assumption

I suggest all participants in the squabbling put one another on ignore. I require that the personal attacks stop now.

Why is this stuff allowed to go on all day long? John Galt was here watching and did absolutely nothing about it except be rude to me himself.

**seagypsy** · January 12th, 2013, 02:39 AM

pmb, this thread was not directed at you. check the time stamp it was posted to the forum in general before any interactions between you and myself on the other thread. I don't mind that you aren't accepting the apology and I don't deny that the apology lacks sincerity. I want it to be sincere but it's not. All I have ever been able to do in my life is try to conform to social constructs that I had no say in developing, and for no reason other than to avoid having my living privileges revoked. It's better to have someone be honest and cruel than to be fake and pleasant. Imagine a world where people are only nice to each other out of fear of legal punishments.But like anyone else I have my limits. How pathetic that would be. I prefer a society where each and every one of us EARNS the respect or disrespect of those around us and we are treated in a manner which we deserve. I don't mind that you don't like me or that you think I am a bitch. You aren't the first person to think that and you won't be the last. That is the beauty of reality. We all perceive it in our own unique ways.

**KALSTER** · January 12th, 2013, 02:56 AM

seagypsy, Thanks for letting us know about you situation at least.

But here is the thing: Even if you have a valid excuse for behaving in a "don't care" type manner, it can't then serve as a free pass. Not that I think you are appealing for one though. But we'll still have to respond to how you behave, not to the reasons behind that behaviour. You are still able to tell wrong from right and I ask that you restrain yourself as much as you can, because I would hate to have to suspend your account for a while. This is not a threat, I just want to let you know how this could play out. No matter what pmb said, your responses in this thread alone has been way over the line. I suggest you add him to your ignore list along with whomever else might make you lash out for now at least, until you get your medication sorted out.

I am sorry to hear about your medical emergency and I sincerely hope you get it sorted out.

Thanks in advance

**seagypsy** · January 12th, 2013, 03:23 AM

Originally Posted by KALSTER

seagypsy, Thanks for letting us know about you situation at least.

But here is the thing: Even if you have a valid excuse for behaving in a "don't care" type manner, it can't then serve as a free pass. Not that I think you are appealing for one though. But we'll still have to respond to how you behave, not to the reasons behind that behaviour. You are still able to tell wrong from right and I ask that you restrain yourself as much as you can, because I would hate to have to suspend your account for a while. This is not a threat, I just want to let you know how this could play out. No matter what pmb said, your responses in this thread alone has been way over the line. I suggest you add him to your ignore list along with whomever else might make you lash out for now at least, until you get your medication sorted out.

I am sorry to hear about your medical emergency and I sincerely hope you get it sorted out.

Thanks in advance

I won't argue with you there. I agree it certainly isn't a free pass. I will do my best to bite my tongue (so to speak) as I have in the past. If I fail to bite hard enough then don't hesitate to do what you feel is necessary. I certainly would not take it personally. You and the other mods have proven time and again to be impartial and fair in your handling of unpleasant situations.

**KALSTER** · January 12th, 2013, 04:01 AM

I really appreciate that. Thanks seagypsy. And best of luck.

**marnixR** · January 12th, 2013, 02:36 PM

Originally Posted by seagypsy

in a constant state of "I don't give a flying ....... about how others feel ".

i'll let you in on a secret : i'm not on medication but i still have an empathy deficit so quite often don't give a flying fuck about how others feel or what people think of me

strange thing is, this is more of an issue in real life than on-line, and i think the reason is that in real life i act spontaneously (and you can't take back once it's out), whereas on a forum i can step back and ask myself the question "do i want to post this ?"
it's happened more than once that i've typed a post and refrained from hitting the "Post" button

try it, it might help

**seagypsy** · January 12th, 2013, 03:57 PM

I sent Kalster a detailed pm explaining my situation. he is free to share that pm with all the mods. I have an issue with autopilot right now. Never know when its going to kick in and I come back to find posts I don't remember posting.

In real life I am a bit of a shut in. I don't interact much with people. Stay home most of the time and if I am in public I try to fade into the background where no one will notice me and not approach me. If they do approach then I just snarl at them so they go away.

I don't like talking to anyone in person that I don't absolutely HAVE to talk to.

**Neverfly** · January 12th, 2013, 05:02 PM

Originally Posted by marnixR

Originally Posted by seagypsy

in a constant state of "I don't give a flying ....... about how others feel ".

i'll let you in on a secret : i'm not on medication but i still have an empathy deficit so quite often don't give a flying fuck about how others feel or what people think of me

strange thing is, this is more of an issue in real life than on-line, and i think the reason is that in real life i act spontaneously (and you can't take back once it's out), whereas on a forum i can step back and ask myself the question "do i want to post this ?"
it's happened more than once that i've typed a post and refrained from hitting the "Post" button

try it, it might help

Yeah, who cares...

**marnixR** · January 13th, 2013, 04:20 PM

Originally Posted by Neverfly

Yeah, who cares...

remind me again, who are you and why should i care ?

**Quantime** · January 14th, 2013, 08:29 PM

There seems to be a lot of tension on the forum at the moment. Its one of the reasons I have been going away and coming back scarcely and the reason I believe others have as well.

I'm not innocent, four of the highest threads in the religion sub-forum presently are the result of my thinking and violent questioning and attack on the opposite camp to those in discussion with me, not in malice but in absolute lack of consideration for others point of view. I apologize for that and in that my patience has indeed been slipping and I have been impersonal. While I hold I haven't been handing out ad hominem attacks or personal insults I know that my style can rile up a lot of rebuke and discontent towards me and stir up bad feelings too. I have always had a problem with righteous superiority. I don't think what any of us is saying is 'wrong' I just feel we are feeding each other a whirlwind of anger and letting it escalate into a tornado and it is sucking everyone up who comes into it.

I believe personally seagypsy you are genuine and honest and put it how it is very bluntly, to which others do not like, or as it seems perhaps do. I see there is nothing to apologize for, if you express yourself in a way that is simply put out there it is other members who take it, run with it and make it more than it is and then hand it back to you then that is their problem. Yet in the same light I understand also that it can be difficult to hold back from saying what you want or that something about them bothers you, even when you are right about them. I still also have problems with this too, its usually best I find to do it constructively and relevant to the discussion. It might not be as satisfying but hey you know what they say; compromise

**MacGyver1968** · January 14th, 2013, 08:52 PM

As a true sign of repentance, SG...I think you should make us all cookies.

**Neverfly** · January 15th, 2013, 12:53 AM

Why would you want to be made into a cookie?

I don't want to be made into a cookie.

Maybe you should ask "all" us others before you decide, all on your own, that we all wish to be made into cookies.

Such arrogance.

**marnixR** · January 15th, 2013, 02:42 AM

from the end of may last year a new EU law requires all sites that use cookies to seek express permission to store and retrieve data about you
unfortunately, that's how the cookie crumbles

**Neverfly** · January 15th, 2013, 02:44 AM

So if we all get made into cookies, we'll need to ask permission to store ourselves and retrieve ourselves?

MacGyver, you've really complicated things, now.

**John Galt** · January 15th, 2013, 03:23 AM

I'm arrogant, self opinionated, egotistical, with delusions of stunning intellectual prowess which I am happy to flaunt at any and every opportunity. I care deeply about what people think of me, but that won't stop me telling you that you are full of crap. (Really, you are.)

Is that OK? Just trying to fit into the ambience of the thread. Do I apologise now, or later?

**Neverfly** · January 15th, 2013, 03:27 AM

Originally Posted by John Galt

I'm arrogant, self opinionated, egotistical, with delusions of stunning intellectual prowess which I am happy to flaunt at any and every opportunity. I care deeply about what people think of me, but that won't stop me telling you that you are full of crap. (Really, you are.)

Is that OK? Just trying to fit into the ambience of the thread. Do I apologise now, or later?

I don't see what there is to apologize for.
Maybe I missed something?

**John Galt** · January 15th, 2013, 07:58 AM

Originally Posted by Neverfly

I don't see what there is to apologize for.
Maybe I missed something?

As I understood the zeitgeist of the thread the idea is to decalre a suite of socially questionable characteristics then apologise for these. I don't like to be left out of games, so I just wanted to make a contribution.

**marnixR** · January 15th, 2013, 08:11 AM

sorry for forgetting to apologise

**Dywyddyr** · January 15th, 2013, 08:13 AM

I'm sorry I had to read that.

**Neverfly** · January 15th, 2013, 08:28 AM

Alright the intent was clear.

A person was seriously questioning herself after literally having her brain short out.

I'm sorry you had to read it, too. Because in your arrogance, maybe you thought that you understand exactly what it's like to suddenly, with no experience of such before, have odd memory loss, sudden inability to contain stray thoughts or uncertainty over your own perceptions.

Clearly, this shouldn't be unnerving in the slightest and welcomes ignorant commentary from arrogant fuckheads.

**Dywyddyr** · January 15th, 2013, 08:33 AM

Um, my post was referring to Marnix's, the one directly above mine - just in case.

And, in case you were actually referring to me:

Because in your arrogance, maybe you thought that you understand exactly what it's like to suddenly, with no experience of such before, have odd memory loss, sudden inability to contain stray thoughts or uncertainty over your own perceptions.

In my arrogance? Or in my current condition?
Don't assume.

**Neverfly** · January 15th, 2013, 08:36 AM

I'm a little reactive on this one.

And I was referring to the three of you, actually. Though I assumed your intent was 'sorry you read the O.P.'

**Dywyddyr** · January 15th, 2013, 08:58 AM

Then I offer my apologies for any ambiguity.

**seagypsy** · January 15th, 2013, 09:13 AM

Ok guys, chill. Look. I am in no good position to be trying to interpret anyone's intentions right now. For that matter, every time I re-read my own OP, I get a totally different impression than I did the time before. I know what I was thinking and feeling at the time but I clearly had a hell a time trying to express it. Especially since I had so many conflicting perceptions and feelings at the time. I knew what I wanted to say and how I felt but instead something very different made it onto the screen. I can't say that I wasn't being honest in my apology but was also not exactly doing a good job of expressing regret. Maybe the regret was for something other than what I managed to describe. I am never sorry for saying what I think and being blunt. But I do regret that my posts have been erratic and unclear. Lacking in common courtesy. But then I re-read the posts that inspired this thread and don't see any of that at all. In my frustration of not knowing how to accurately perceive my own behavior and that of others, not to mention apparently posting in autopilot, I seriously lost my temper with one who I have had no sympathy for since the day he declared all women to be evil bitches just because he got rejected by ONE. Then he was giving a mod, crap for calling him on his behavior. I got fed up and my fury got away from me. It happens. I won't pretend to regret hurting his feelings. I do regret that the situation happened at all. But I do not accept full responsibility for it.

If anyone reading the OP of this thread got a negative impression of me, well I can't blame anyone but myself. I am responsible for my own posts. Obviously, I communicated my thoughts very poorly and I sent a message quite different than I had intended.

That being said, if anyone feels it productive to drag the drama out and make fun of me for it then so be it. I won't deny that I sometimes get a sense of self satisfaction when I mock someone who I believe has made a fool of themselves. Though I tend to reserve that for habitual offenders.

But if I am to be the source of some people's satisfaction by way of elevating themselves by degrading others then I guess we all play that role from time to time. And we all mock others from time to time. No adult is mature 24/7.

I would ask that this thread be closed but I certainly wouldn't want to rob anyone of the opportunity to make themselves feel big at my expense.

I do want to say this much. The op was an attempt to explain my situation and let people know that my mind was not in its normal mode. I never once asked for a free pass or forgiveness.

**marnixR** · January 15th, 2013, 03:24 PM

Originally Posted by seagypsy

If anyone reading the OP of this thread got a negative impression of me, well I can't blame anyone but myself.

the thought never crossed my mind - i thought you conveyed your thoughts pretty well, and i didn't think any the less of you for doing so

Originally Posted by seagypsy

That being said, if anyone feels it productive to drag the drama out and make fun of me for it then so be it.

sorry, must have misread the tone of the thread at the moment, which seemed to have gone into trolling mode - an irresistible temptation for the troll in me
however, at no time did i intend to make fun of you - i was merely making light-hearted fun in general

**jocular** · January 15th, 2013, 03:34 PM

Am beginning to wonder just how Science fits into all this.......

jocular

**marnixR** · January 15th, 2013, 03:41 PM

does it need to ? this is the "General Discussion" section, after all

**Quantime** · January 15th, 2013, 04:40 PM

Exactly, its a free for all, tin foil hats on everyone I'm heading to the do aliens exist thread.

**Neverfly** · January 15th, 2013, 06:14 PM

Originally Posted by marnixR

sorry, must have misread the tone of the thread at the moment, which seemed to have gone into trolling mode - an irresistible temptation for the troll in me
however, at no time did i intend to make fun of you - i was merely making light-hearted fun in general

I'm the cause on this one, I think. As I said- a bit reactive. My reaction to the light hearted banter was probably over the top until it burst when I misinterpreted Dywdydydwdydyr's post.

**shlunka** · January 15th, 2013, 07:41 PM

I've personally never been offended by anyone on this forum, so applause everyone!

**Neverfly** · January 15th, 2013, 07:54 PM

I can fix that.

**Quantime** · January 15th, 2013, 09:50 PM

Originally Posted by Neverfly

I can fix that.

Don't tempt me, I've been suspended a time or two in the past

**Neverfly** · January 15th, 2013, 09:55 PM

Originally Posted by Quantime

Don't tempt me, I've been suspended a time or two in the past

LOL
You haven't seen my record...

I was perma banned on SciForums when I told Trippy I'd break his face and leave him to bleed on the ground.

**jocular** · January 15th, 2013, 10:02 PM

Originally Posted by marnixR

does it need to ? this is the "General Discussion" section, after all

Ah, forgive me, if you will. All Science, and no fun is......after all,...

jocular

**seagypsy** · January 15th, 2013, 10:12 PM

Like I said, I don't know if anyone INTENDED to mock or make fun. Everytime I read the posts in the thread things came across differently. Sometime they cracked me up other times I felt slighted. But I know I have given people a hard time even before my melt down so I don't really have a leg to stand on to complain. I just hope whatever things are that any negativity will pass and we (I really mean I) can get back to feeling, interpreting and responding normally asap.

**seagypsy** · January 15th, 2013, 10:14 PM

Originally Posted by jocular

Originally Posted by marnixR

does it need to ? this is the "General Discussion" section, after all

Ah, forgive me, if you will. All Science, and no fun is......after all,...

jocular

Well this could fall under psychology which is a science. Psychology may not be of any interest to you and so you don't recognize it when it presents itself or maybe you don't attribute it any value, but that does not make it any less of a science.

**Neverfly** · January 15th, 2013, 10:21 PM

It's your schizophrenic crossdressing avatar that's got you throw'd off.

**Quantime** · January 15th, 2013, 10:21 PM

Originally Posted by Neverfly

Originally Posted by Quantime

Don't tempt me, I've been suspended a time or two in the past

LOL
You haven't seen my record...

I was perma banned on SciForums when I told Trippy I'd break his face and leave him to bleed on the ground.

Nice, I stay away from that place full of absolute ***holes, that place is the xbox live version of science forums.

**seagypsy** · January 15th, 2013, 10:24 PM

Originally Posted by Neverfly

It's your schizophrenic crossdressing avatar that's got you throw'd off.

Can't help it, had to express my femininity and inner beauty.

**zinjanthropos** · January 15th, 2013, 10:45 PM

Originally Posted by seagypsy

Its hard to make a convincing apology when you are having trouble pretending to care if feeling get hurt.

Are you applying on-line for Moderator?

**John Galt** · January 16th, 2013, 03:45 AM

Originally Posted by Neverfly

I'm a little reactive on this one.

And I was referring to the three of you, actually. '

Seagypsy shared some personal issues she was having.
pmb, who also has personal issues, jumped on the bandwagon.
My contribution was intended to highlight how genuine expressions of personal angst could rapidly deteriorate into unproductive, narcissistic navel gazing.

I readily concede that the subtlety of my message could easily have concealed that intent. However, I rarely apologise for being subtle. If one of the prices I have to pay is that members or lurkers decide I am a dickhead I won't lose much sleep over it.

NB: No subtlety intended in this post.

**Neverfly** · January 16th, 2013, 04:17 AM

Originally Posted by John Galt

Originally Posted by Neverfly

I'm a little reactive on this one.

And I was referring to the three of you, actually. '

Seagypsy shared some personal issues she was having.
pmb, who also has personal issues, jumped on the bandwagon.
My contribution was intended to highlight how genuine expressions of personal angst could rapidly deteriorate into unproductive, narcissistic navel gazing.

On this one I agree and privately, we spoke of it.

Originally Posted by John Galt

I readily concede that the subtlety of my message could easily have concealed that intent. However, I rarely apologise for being subtle. If one of the prices I have to pay is that members or lurkers decide I am a dickhead I won't lose much sleep over it.

I'm not a lurker, so if I decide you are one, can I have the satisfaction of making you lose sleep?