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Thread: Please give me a chance, to clear my name.

  1. #1 Please give me a chance, to clear my name. 
    Forum Ph.D.
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    Many members of this forum believe that I am crazy. Because of my behavior in the "Self Defense" thread.
    But that threads postings clearly show otherwise. Bellow is a sample.


    In post #106 Sculptor talks about, "him and his brother, having group sexual reproduction, with their dead mother."

    In post #40, Sculptor says,
    Mr, Kojax: " I like to foldle it, it helps me get a hard on."
    Prosecutor: "You weren't planning to use the pistol to shoot someone?"
    Mr. Kojax: " I like to fondle it, it helps me get a hard on, and I really like having a hard on!"

    People are saying I need mental help?


    In post #141 Neverfly told me."And now, Chad; I'll lure you over to the Dark Side. I will seduce you with tempting evils. Yes, oh yes. Come my child, to daddy!

    In post #141 Neverfly told CrisGorititz, "Yes, Gorlitz is one of mine. I claimed him as my special minion."

    Neverfly called himself, and his closest friends "the elders." He told me to heed them, in post #78.

    Then he spoke to me like he was Charles Mason, telling me how to be wise, when to relax, and other lessons, in post #78.

    Is the above normal behavior, for a thread about self defense?


    I was taught by the moderators here, that you stay on subject.
    And I was taught by other forum members, to keep it factual, and only post good scientific data.

    Perhaps that thread did make me loose it. But look at the things they were speaking about, in a thread about Self Defense.


    Last edited by chad; November 27th, 2012 at 03:08 PM.
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  3. #2  
    Moderator Moderator Markus Hanke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chad View Post
    People attack/delete things, they don't understand.
    That is not correct. Things get attacked and locked ( not deleted ) if either they are in breach of forum rules, or are simply absolute nonsense devoid of any scientific merit.
    You should also remember that it is first and foremost the OP's responsibility to explain his/her thoughts clearly and scientifically, rather than the other members having to solve it like a riddle. Too often I see people coming on here literally vomitting a wall of words onto the screen, and then when you tell them that this was an incomprehensible mess they reply "you reject it only because you don't understand it !". Yeah, whose fault is that ? It's your idea, so explain it properly !
    Do you know what I mean ?


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  4. #3  
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    Chad,
    When you are in a hole, stop digging.
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  5. #4  
    Universal Mind John Galt's Avatar
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    And in anticipation Chad, could I ask that at no point in this thread apologise for anything.
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  6. #5  
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    Chad, you seem to miss a lot of context.

    For instance, when Kojax was referring to "fondling it", he was talking about whether you need a reason to carry a concealed weapon, and if "I like to fondle it" would be considered a good enough reason in the eyes of the law. Granted, his words might have been in bad taste, but that's just his sense of humour. He is not promoting public masturbation, if that's what you thought.

    Nobody is against you Chad, but it just seems like you are finding offense in peoples posts, when those posts were not meant to give offense. All they were doing was using extreme situations to get the underlying point across.

    This is why people were asking you to relax and such - you should not take peoples words so literally.

    All the best.
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  7. #6  
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    Chad,

    Motives. People have some difficulty perceiving other people's motives. Perceiving motives is even more difficult from written documents (letters, emails, texting, forum postings, etc) because they lack the nuances in the author's voice, facial expressions, gestures, body languages, etc. You seem to have an inordinate difficulty in this regard. So, with the very limited information we get on a forum, it takes quite a while to understand someone's personality. Try to be patient and not jump to conclusions.

    Binary. Also, you seem to have a binary perception of life (or at least people) ... people are either completely for you or completely against you, completely support an idea or completely against it, etc. This kind of perception has its difficulties because people are rarely completely one thing or another, but are rather differing shades of gray. They might agree with you on one topic, but disagree with you on another. Maybe binary perceptions are helpful in learning science, but it quickly runs into problem when discerning people and their motives. Understand that people can have varying beliefs about all sorts of things, otherwise, if people were inflexible, they couldn't learn or change.

    Personal. You also seem to take things far too personally. This would include general comments on topics as well as disagreements with your posts. The Internet being anonymous as it is, people feel they can speak more freely or forcefully than, say, your neighbors would in real life. We don't live next door to you in real life; we can be in someone's face on a forum, and when we turn off the computer, that person no longer exists to us. Likewise, people can pay attention or ignore someone else's posts, as they please. There is no consequence except on the forum. You'll notice that forum rules tend to go to great lengths to promote politeness and civility because of this. Where people would not normally act up in a real-life situation, they might do on the Internet. Don't take it personally; what other people do is on them.

    Humor. And you seem unable to perceive a sense of humor in others. In the community of a forum, there will be "inside jokes" among some members, and for whatever reason, the humor can tend to be in the extreme. This joking usually appears in threads that seem to have run their course, and it tends to signal the end of serious debate on the topic, and the beginning of "witty repartee" (perhaps too gracious a term). You identified one member as the "leader", who tends to instigate this repartee, and you may be right, but that doesn't make the others who join in his zombies.

    Abstract. Let me suggest something to you: everything I've described above makes you seem to have difficulties with the abstract. Perceiving motives, discerning shades of grays, seeing beyond yourself, and even recognizing humor all involve the abstract. I don't know the best course of action for you, but I agree with one suggestion for you chill.
    Grief is the price we pay for love. (CM Parkes) Our postillion has been struck by lightning. (Unknown) War is always the choice of the chosen who will not have to fight. (Bono) The years tell much what the days never knew. (RW Emerson) Reality is not always probable, or likely. (JL Borges)
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  8. #7  
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    Humor. And you seem unable to perceive a sense of humor in others. In the community of a forum, there will be "inside jokes" among some members, and for whatever reason, the humor can tend to be in the extreme. This joking usually appears in threads that seem to have run their course, and it tends to signal the end of serious debate on the topic, and the beginning of "witty repartee" (perhaps too gracious a term). You identified one member as the "leader", who tends to instigate this repartee, and you may be right, but that doesn't make the others who join in his zombies.
    +1!



    Fixin' shit that ain't broke.
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  9. #8  
    The Doctor Quantime's Avatar
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    Why are you defending your behaviour? You haven't been banned or suspended so what's the deal? If you're crazy, cool. I found your post you were talking about entertaining.

    You are also being taken for a ride by people who like to make fun of you. That's because you are being a bit sensitive, and they are finding it hilarious getting to you. Humans of all intellect have this instinct that wants to make a pecking order and you are low in it making yourself a prime target or sometimes just want a cheap laugh at someone elses expense. Just relax, don't take things people say seriously its just a joke. I know people can be insensitive sometimes, don't forget we're all guys here so you'll have to harden up a bit and that is a good thing, some things in life aren't worth getting overly bothered about.

    You have nothing to apologise about. Relax
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  10. #9  
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    For chad....and others....

    Leave It at the stream. A parable.

    An old Buddhist parable illustrates the challenge--and the value--of letting go of the past.


    Two monks were strolling by a stream on their way home to the monastery. They were startled by the sound of a young woman in a bridal gown, sitting by the stream, crying softly. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she gazed across the water. She needed to cross to get to her wedding, but she was fearful that doing so might ruin her beautiful handmade gown.
    In this particular sect, monks were prohibited from touching women. But one monk was filled with compassion for the bride. Ignoring the sanction, he hoisted the woman on his shoulders and carried her across the stream--assisting her journey and saving her gown. She smiled and bowed with gratitude as he noisily splashed his way back across the stream to rejoin his companion.
    The second monk was livid. "How could you do that?" he scolded. "You know we are forbidden even to touch a woman, much less pick one up and carry her around!"
    The offending monk listened in silence to a stern lecture that lasted all the way back to the monastery. His mind wandered as he felt the warm sunshine and listened to the singing birds. After returning to the monastery, he fell asleep for a few hours. He was jostled and awakened in the middle of the night by his fellow monk. "How could you carry that woman?" his agitated friend cried out. "Someone else could have helped her across the stream. You were a bad monk!"
    "What woman?" the tired monk inquired groggily.
    "Don't you even remember? That woman you carried across the stream," his colleague snapped.
    "Oh, her," laughed the sleepy monk. "I only carried her across the stream. You carried her all the way back to the monastery."

    The learning point is simple: Leave it at the stream.
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  11. #10  
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    Just a tip, you don't "redeem" yourself to a group of people by trying to suggest they are equally as obnoxious as you, thus you should fit right in.
    "Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." -Calvin
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  12. #11  
    Quagma SpeedFreek's Avatar
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    I think the nicest way this thread could end would be if Chad just came in and posted a big smile. It would be good to end with a smile.

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  13. #12  
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpeedFreek View Post
    Chad, you seem to miss a lot of context.

    For instance, when Kojax was referring to "fondling it", he was talking about whether you need a reason to carry a concealed weapon, and if "I like to fondle it" would be considered a good enough reason in the eyes of the law. Granted, his words might have been in bad taste, but that's just his sense of humour. He is not promoting public masturbation, if that's what you thought.

    Nobody is against you Chad, but it just seems like you are finding offense in peoples posts, when those posts were not meant to give offense. All they were doing was using extreme situations to get the underlying point across.

    This is why people were asking you to relax and such - you should not take peoples words so literally.

    All the best.
    Everything I said above was factual, or in the ball park.
    Don't you know you are in a science forum?

    If you want to defend, the telling of sadistic, vulgar, and demented "jokes". Then go find a forum "of vulgar jokes", were only people over 18 years old are allowed to enter. And go there and defend the posting of vulgar jokes.

    If you want to defend NeverFlys behavior. Then go find a forum, dedicated to "claiming special minions."

    You are in a forum of science. And there are often young people here.


    Chad.
    Last edited by chad; November 27th, 2012 at 02:16 PM.
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  14. #13  
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    Look at the above behavior, that threatens to take over, this fantastic and often grade school oriented forum of science.
    Today most of you have banded together in a group, to defend vulgar and demented behavior, in this once great forum of science.

    Whats the next round of vulgar jokes, you all plan to tell the school children, that often come to this forum?
    Who will be NeverFlys next special claimed minion, in a scientific thread?


    I have had differences with many of you, since I have joined this forum.
    But until now, all of you have always acted in a professional, family oriented, and scientific way.

    But today I see many of you band together, to defend the telling of sadistic vulgar jokes, in the presence of school children.
    While you claim each other as special minions, in threads of scientific discussion.

    I will be moving my life in a direction, away from this once great scientific, and family oriented forum.
    I do not behave like you all have been behaving, in a public family oriented place.

    If I want to hear jokes like those, I will join my (over 21) male friends, at a private beer drinking party.
    But I have never heard, any of my (drunk) friends, making sexual jokes about their dead mothers.

    And if I wanted to be approached, by a insane leader and his minions. I would search for a cult to join.

    I hope you all do not allow these people, to take over this entire forum.

    Chad.
    Last edited by chad; November 27th, 2012 at 04:20 PM.
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  15. #14  
    Quagma SpeedFreek's Avatar
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    You make a valid point about the suitability of posts for minors, and perhaps certain people should think a little harder before they post, it is true.

    Good for you, Chad, for standing up for good family values.

    Let's clean this place up.
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  16. #15  
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    Self redemption via the mass implication of everyone else.

    I like it.
    "Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." -Calvin
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  17. #16  
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    Chad,
    let me describe two seemingly unrelated kinds of behaviour.

    Behaviour 1
    Individuals on a science forum use apparently infantile and definitely scatalogical humour for a variety of rhetorical purposes. These would include indirectly pouring scorn on a weak argument, seeking to derail a discussion, seeking to bring a discussion back on line, seeking to provide a break in a heated discussion. While most of these are valid reasons they fail to consider the younger audience who may be exposed to the coarse humour.

    Behaviour 2
    Individuals on a science forum makes posts in which they adhere singlemindedly to the presentation of a political agenda. They do so with vehemence and a implicit denigration of anyone who has the audacity to disagree with them. They will not countenance alternative explanations, nor do they seem willing to consider that there are shades of grey, rather than just black or white. When challenged they sometimes back down pleading several excuses and apologising extravagantly, only to repeat the same or similar a short time later.

    Which of these behaviours is worse? I think it is arguably a matter of form, or substance. Are we more disturbed by the crude form of vulgar humour, or by the substance of distorted agenda driven arguments that corrupt logical thinking? I tend to come down against the latter and find Behaviour 2 the least desirable.
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  18. #17  
    Forum Radioactive Isotope sculptor's Avatar
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    :
    ?double post...
    Last edited by sculptor; November 28th, 2012 at 11:28 AM. Reason: double posting
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  19. #18  
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    Chad
    Nobody in here expects you to be anything but YOU. You ain't gotta clear your name, nor prove anything.

    Seriously, we all are who we are, and tolerance is the only name of the only game of getting along with each other.
    My crude takeoff had to do with being silly in response to the silly idea that Kojax could have a coat made to conceal a weapon which he would then walk about holding in anticipation of using it and not have that considered premeditation which equals a conviction for murder. (the goal, of course, would be to defuse the concept of premeditation by any means available-and that silliness was the first idea that popped into my old brain, so I went with it.)(creative problem solving, you just keep tossing out un-pre-censored ideas, and see if one sticks).(Blame it on the beatles--"happiness is a warm gun"?)
    .............
    granted, oftimes I do switch to crude, especially in anything of the sort of that subject---2 schools, gradual desensitization and implosion therapy--
    (implosion is kinda fun---if one is afraid of snakes, just toss a handful of non agressive, non venomous snakes in his/her lap ---kinda like the song about the "zebra dunn"-..."when the stranger sat upon him, old dunny quit the earth")
    -and, I'll use both as the mood dictates, or as they suit my purpose.

    If and as you are you, I am me,
    and if the crude really jacks your spurs, then maybe you should put me on ignore so that you are troubled less, 'cause I just ain't gonna change for you babe.
    Get used to it.
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  20. #19  
    The Doctor Quantime's Avatar
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    That's a bit sensitive for someone desensitized
    "If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe". - Carl Sagan
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  21. #20  
    has lost interest seagypsy's Avatar
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    I don't know if it's because I have the flu or what, but every time I look at the forum I have absolutely no motivation to participate in it. I have posted but really had to force myself. Looking at the forum all I can remember is the crazy stuff this guy got away with saying. I am nervous to post anything now because he will latch onto it and make more wild claims.
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  22. #21  
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    Seagypsy
    Not to worry:
    If you look at Chad's previous, every-once-in-awhile, chad runs to the end of the dock and does a cannon-ball(off the deep end), then climbs back up onto the dock apologizing for splashing everyone.
    Congratulations, you just got splashed, welcome to our world.
    .........
    do feel better soon
    You bring a refreshing scent of the salt air, and kelp.
    ---------I been hacking up phlegm for a week, but amazingly, we're getting nice warm weather here in Iowa so i still get to work on my roof(hack wheeze) with 6 new cuts on my left hand from cutting and shaping the flashing for the solar chimney/pergola---today, i finish the pergula, and start dismantling the scaffolding for the 12:12 roof---(I'm getting better at this 6 cuts and six bends on one piece of sheet metal and a perfect fit the first time)--------my neighbors may wonder when i yell ---"YO GOD, a little more sunshine babe! but really, thanks for another wonderful day!"
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  23. #22  
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    I'm in the same mind as S.G. is, actually. Maybe partly because we were able to discuss it face to face...
    It just killed the mood. Both of us were fully aware most people could easily see that we're not what he described but it was a bit of a blow like... A person becomes afraid to speak freely or it might fly back into your face and explode. He repeated it enough I even PM'ed Golitz and told him I do not claim him as a minion. Because the way I joked, I wondered it people might actually start to wonder. He pushed his case so strongly and fiercely that even I began to wonder if I was coming across that way with how I type.
    Dunno, it was a mood kill, somehow.

    P.S. I read your post out loud to her.
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  24. #23  
    Forum Radioactive Isotope sculptor's Avatar
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    Like the old heckler joke
    "Congressman, Have you stopped beating your wife?"

    .............
    there ain't no good answer
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  25. #24  
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    Quote Originally Posted by sculptor View Post
    .............
    there ain't no good answer
    There's a perfect answer, just not always considered to be an appropriate answer.
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  26. #25  
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    The same answer (salute) that got Lindsey in trouble?

    But as I previously stated
    "tolerance is the name of the game"
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  27. #26  
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    Quote Originally Posted by sculptor View Post
    The same answer (salute) that got Lindsey in trouble?

    But as I previously stated
    "tolerance is the name of the game"
    Something like that. It kinda makes a person want to avoid posting in contentious threads or where confrontation may be a problem.
    Can't vouch for S.G., but for me... It probably won't last long. I can only play nice for so long before that gets... boring.

    Come to think of it... I posted the Double Finger Salute (graphic)on a thread not long ago.
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  28. #27  
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    Tolerance:

    I had a friend who went on the get his masters in psych. and became a counselor.
    One fine day, he asked me what was my secret for having a long marriage
    (My wife and I are basically both strong minded independent personalities who don't put up with guff from anyone---[you shoulda heard her take down the head of athletics at the university over a plagiarism episode by one of their stars----he had thought to bully her, but, she was on the rag, and even I never messed with her then. She rode him like a bronco buster, and when the ride was over, he meekly apologized, and silently conceeded that he had met his match])
    anyway back to the secret
    in a word
    tolerance
    "If you can tolerate what no self respecting sane person would tolerate, then, when the good times come 'round again, you'll get to share them together."

    sooner or later, that word must needs apply to all of mankind if we ever want to stop killing each other
    .................
    edit #2:
    as/re rode him like a bronco buster
    lyrics from the zebra dun:

    When the stranger hit the saddle,
    well old Dunny quit the earth,
    He traveled right straight upwards
    for all that he was worth,
    A bucking and a squealing,
    and a having wall-eyed fits,
    His front feet perpendicular,
    his hind feet in the bits.

    We could see the tops of the mountains
    under Dunny's every jump,
    The stranger he was growed there,
    like the camel's hump,
    The stranger sat upon him,
    and he curled his black mustache,
    Just like a summer boarder
    who was waiting for his hash.

    Well, he thumped him in the shoulders
    and he spurred him when he whirled,
    He hollered to the punchers,
    "I'm the wolf of the world,"
    Last edited by sculptor; November 30th, 2012 at 07:42 PM. Reason: p
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  29. #28  
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    There is always the ignore feature. This works both ways.

    I think most members here understood the intentions (or more accurately the lack of intention) in the posts that chad was reacting to. I know I did, which was why I defended them.

    Yes, the topics being discussed were sometimes a little unsavoury, but I did not take from them any inference that these were being promoted as moral values - it was just banter.

    Initially, chad seemed to be describing his own moral indignation of the posts, taking them literally when they were obviously not meant to be taken literally, and I tried to point this out. But subsequently chad referred to the fact that anyone, of any age, could be reading those posts, which I think puts an ever so slightly different slant on things.

    Do not be afraid to post on the basis of how chad himself might take it, but instead post on the basis of how any reasonable individual might take it.
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  30. #29  
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpeedFreek;372075 But subsequently chad referred to the fact that anyone, of any age, could be reading those posts, which I think puts an [I
    ever so slightly[/I] different slant on things.
    If you've ever snuck up behind a group of ten year olds and listened to what they talk about and how they talk, they're in more danger being exposed to eachother than to any of us.
    This one doesn't bother me as much. Let's be blunt, not only are kids exposed to far more elsewhere, but a little exposure is not a bad thing, really.
    I'm not promoting porn, here (It just isn't my thing, though I understand others seem to think it's nice) but a kid that grows up totally shielded from any sight of nudity will be a little... odd when he's of age. It'll be that forbidden fruit and he's likely to lose his wits a bit when he does see nudity or even near nudity.
    This doesn't mean expose younguns to graphic images, but we also cannot be over -protective because that can harm, too. So if a regular movie played at home (You know how Hollywood is) goes into a "Love scene" where it's near nudity and suggestive, I don't pause it or command my son to leave the room or avert his eyes. I just let him giggle and fuss and say "eww" and pretend to look away while peeking.

    Here's an anecdote:
    I was kidding around with my son, who is always very careful to watch his language (10 years old) and avoid any vulgarities in the presence of an adult. To impress on him that "Dad Knows what he knows" I pretty much ordered him to give me a good cussing, as if he'd hit his thumb with a hammer. He shyly and fearfully started to let out a string that blew my mind, a sailor would have lost his jaw entirely. I actually stopped him in that string of words and asked, (Without thinking, obviously) "Boy, where did you learn such words like that!?"
    Meekly, he peeped, "From you..."


    Well...
    Damnit.
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  31. #30  
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    neverfly
    when my sons were about that age, they started using "cuss" words a tad to frequently for my taste (giggling shock value?)
    soooooooooo
    I challenged them(with a cash reward) to write for me a 3 page paper wherein every-other word was a "cuss word"
    -------------
    the results
    first, i declared "single spacing, try again"
    ................
    nice ploy, we had a few laughs at the attempts------then I brought the words of my mother into the discussion, she had always said that "vulgarity was a sign of a lazy mind" -----------and the admonishment, be not lazy in body nor mind, and use profanity sparingly
    ................
    I also offered them cash rewards for jumping off of a 10 ft roof to get them over the natural fear of falling from that height ,with basic parachute training---knees bent, then roll(I had recently rototilled several cubic yards of peatmoss into the soil below that roof--even if they fell on their heads, I doubt much harm nor pain would have ensued)
    I also offered cash rewards for writing a three page non-run-on sentence------------

    ..........
    They grew up doing their own things, with a flavor of our teachings
    .................................................. ............
    ,,,,,,,,,,,
    being as this is Chad's thread
    it would be nice if we all looked back and found something of value in one of chad's previous comments?
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    Quote Originally Posted by sculptor View Post
    ................
    nice ploy, we had a few laughs at the attempts------then I brought the words of my mother into the discussion, she had always said that "vulgarity was a sign of a lazy mind" -----------and the admonishment, be not lazy in body nor mind, and use profanity sparingly
    ................
    I also offered them cash rewards for jumping off of a 10 ft roof to get them over the natural fear of falling from that height ,with basic parachute training---knees bent, then roll(I had recently rototilled several cubic yards of peatmoss into the soil below that roof--even if they fell on their heads, I doubt much harm nor pain would have ensued)
    I also offered cash rewards for writing a three page non-run-on sentence------------

    ..........
    They grew up doing their own things, with a flavor of our teachings
    .................................................. ............
    Roof jumping- I could tell a tale here- But I won't.
    Quote Originally Posted by sculptor View Post
    ,,,,,,,,,,,
    being as this is Chad's thread
    it would be nice if we all looked back and found something of value in one of chad's previous comments?
    Y'all feel free. I am not so inclined. Think of me as a grumpy curmudgeon, if you will. He pissed me off.
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