Thread: Upset at Cocky Jock

We had a benchpress competition today at the gym. A tall guy with a little size but mediocre, skinny arms for his weight (I'd say 220 with maybe 16-17" arms) arched his back to the high heavens and did a shitty rep with 390, which the judges counted. I did 315 easily, but since I had just done a set of 8 with 125 pound dumbbells 10 minutes earlier I failed when I tried 355 and 335. No big deal...so I decided to just try once more for 335 just for fun...right before I sat down the spotter (the guy I just mentioned) said "don't hurt yourself" (in a serious sounding tone of voice..not jokingly). Now I realize I may be paranoid but I feel like he was being an ass. I mean, he could have broken his young, immature back by arching so much. I'm a 26 year old transfer student and have probably been lifting at least a few years longer than him. I simply look young and people think I don't know what I'm doing. I am upset because I felt that I made myself look weak in front of people...it also made me think that perhaps I'm not as large and muscular as I thought I was... In my mind I am huge and I lift more than most people but then tall guys talk smack because they think height and a little bit of weight makes them "bigger" and somehow better...I disagree.. I think what matters is bicep and chest size and about looking bigger than people who may weigh more....I think he would have respected me more and gave me encouragement rather than having the nerve to tell me not to hurt myself if he knew I were older, more mature and way more experienced in weightlifting than he was...stupid jock....

Lord forbid someone think you're weak, ha.

I wouldn't worry about it.

Then again, I'm reasonably sure that I'm weaker than most of my butch lesbian acquaintances, so I don't particularly care if people think I'm weak.

Edit: And I think I've seen some adult movies where this exact situation played out, albeit with a different ending.

Or, he'd seen you may be tired and honestly was concerned about you hurting yourself. There's always that.

Originally Posted by i_feel_tiredsleepy

Lord forbid someone think you're weak, ha.

I wouldn't worry about it.

Then again, I'm reasonably sure that I'm weaker than most of my butch lesbian acquaintances, so I don't particularly care if people think I'm weak.

Well being strong is one of my only attributes that I admire in myself. I identify myself as a weightlifter and when I feel someone else around my size is stronger it irks me..I want to be the biggest and the best..or at least close to it.

Originally Posted by inow

Or, he'd seen you may be tired and honestly was concerned about you hurting yourself. There's always that.

Yea, I did mention in my post that I was perhaps being paranoid.

Originally Posted by gottspieler

We had a benchpress competition today at the gym. A tall guy with a little size but mediocre, skinny arms for his weight (I'd say 220 with maybe 16-17" arms) arched his back to the high heavens and did a shitty rep with 390, which the judges counted. I did 315 easily, but since I had just done a set of 8 with 125 pound dumbbells 10 minutes earlier I failed when I tried 355 and 335....

You have just pointed out why you failed, next time do not have such a severe warm up. Have a few days off, then try him again.

Originally Posted by gottspieler

Yea, I did mention in my post that I was perhaps being paranoid.

I think I have mentioned in many previous posts that you very definitely are.

I just hate myself sometimes... I feel like I made myself look bad even trying the competition...I have absolutely no self-confidence sometimes..what is wrong with me?

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Desiderata

Originally Posted by gottspieler

I just hate myself sometimes... I feel like I made myself look bad even trying the competition...I have absolutely no self-confidence sometimes..what is wrong with me?

I have suggested a possible answer to you before: you are spending to much time self contemplating. Stop thinking and start doing. Stop analyisng and start being.

When I lived in Cairo I often used to run in the evenings on the track at the American school. There were many expats who did the same. Often we would run in pairs or threes. After a few kilometres together we would wind it up and turn it into a race of sorts. I would be fully committed to outperforming my companions. I wanted to win - and very often did so. But - and this is a key point - I only did this against those runners who were of comparable ability. I wasn't looking for an easy win or a solid drubbing. Maybe you need to choose your competitions more wisely. Be selective. In everything.

Maybe I can help. Throughout much of elementary and middle school my story went along the following lines:

I slept through just about every class, didn't try to make friends, nor did I feel like I could. I would answer stupid questions on tests for no other reason than annoying my teachers, such as thirty-four for a problem asking what was three plus four (I also once wrote that the sun gathers energy from plants). On another case my teacher didn't wake me up when the class was over and I woke up at the last hour of the day, receiving a skip for the remaining classes (and a suspension).

My partial solution to the problem is the following:

1. Convince yourself that it is not okay to compare yourself to anyone you see.

2. Remember that the human race will go extinct at some point, therefore all of our perceptions of one another are trivial to say the most and there is no need to be embarrassed about anything.

3. Once you have convinced yourself of the above two, do not ask the questions again. Simply let the problems out of your mind and fill your live with enjoyment.

I don't know how effective my suggestion may be for you, but I certainly hope it helps.

Reanalyzing helps me. I got an e-mail today saying I came in 5th place. I didn't do well because...

a.) I had already worked chest out that day

b.) I was going up against people who didn't have very good form (they used arched backs for leverage)

c.) I had not known there was a competition until that very day..it was an impromptu event

d.) When I lift, I usually have a spotter, sometimes they pull the weight up and help when I don't want them too which makes it hard to know if they helped you too much with the lift

I will continue to train. I have gotten 365 x 2 (at 235..now I'm 220) before during workouts with a spotter. I will try to get the weight now without help. I also need to lose 30 pounds of fat so that I will be lifting more compared to my bodyweight. I need to practice longer before my next competition.

So..my goal is 365 competition bench (Raw..without a bench shirt) and a "gym lift" of 365 x 2-3 (with a slight spot to get through sticking points)

Personally I always found bench pressing favors those with shorter arms. Simple mechanics really. That's why I developed massive forearms...so I can crush the neck of the other guy with my bare hands while they try desperately to reach me with their strong but short little arms

Hahaha... Awesome.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zi_Q6V4xPfc
(@ 0:33)

Originally Posted by (In)Sanity

Personally I always found bench pressing favors those with shorter arms. Simple mechanics really. That's why I developed massive forearms...so I can crush the neck of the other guy with my bare hands while they try desperately to reach me with their strong but short little arms

lol..I'm 5'5

Originally Posted by gottspieler

Originally Posted by (In)Sanity

Personally I always found bench pressing favors those with shorter arms. Simple mechanics really. That's why I developed massive forearms...so I can crush the neck of the other guy with my bare hands while they try desperately to reach me with their strong but short little arms

lol..I'm 5'5

I think you are psychologically weak, as in harboring an inferiority complex. Short stature, short arms, already worked out, didn't know of competition, need to lose fat, use a spotter, need to practice longer, hate self sometimes, make self look bad, no self confidence, what's wrong with me self doubt, paranoid, someone stronger irks you, want to be at least bigger and stronger, made self look weak in front of crowd, tall guys talk smack and people show no respect.... this just from going over your previous posts. Those were your words about yourself posted by you in this thread.

As with most inferiority complexes there is envy of others and being unsatisfied with yourself. So what if the guy arches his back, that's how he does it and according to the judges it's perfectly legal. Ever stop and think how many guys are jealous of you just for being muscular? You aren't satisfied with that because you want to be the darling of your peers. How many of them are just like you?

I'm Napoleon reincarnate..lol

Originally Posted by gottspieler

I'm Napoleon reincarnate..lol

Is this why you took up weightlifting?

No. I wanted to impress girls and be able to defend myself. However, even though I'm strong I don't think I'd win too many fights..lol..also girls don't flock around me often...

Originally Posted by gottspieler

No. I wanted to impress girls and be able to defend myself. However, even though I'm strong I don't think I'd win too many fights..lol..also girls don't flock around me often...

Sacre bleu Monsieur Bonaparte, did someone kick sand in your face? Since this is the internet I'm not sure if you are genuine but based on what I read you're doing a good job as someone not happy with themselves. Being a 98lb weakling was one thing and now that you've muscled up, life is not different. In fact it sounds like bulking up hasn't done any wonders for your self esteem.

You sound like the proverbial guy who couldn't get laid in a women's prison with a handful of pardons. How many gals are actually weightlifter groupies? Why go into a specific sports genre where the guys outnumber the gals, take up coed softball or something. The female weightlifters at the Olympics are the closest thing we have to resembling the East German women's swim team. It seems you might have narrowed the field for female encounters by taking up the sport. Are you modelling yourself after Arnold?

No..not after Arnold...Fraco Columbo perhaps or Lee Priest (both short, famous bodybuilders).

Originally Posted by gottspieler

No..not after Arnold...Fraco Columbo perhaps or Lee Priest (both short, famous bodybuilders).

Never heard of them. What exactly were you trying to get out of this thread?

sympathy and possibly praise...

if this thread shows anything is that beefing up your body is not necessarily a girl-puller
it may be the reason for the initial attraction, but afterwards they may start looking for an interesting personality, something that convinces them that after the first one-night stand they will still have an interesting time
an inferiority complex usually is not a good start, nor is trying too hard

http://www.thescienceforum.com/viewt...=272217#272217
and here:
http://www.thescienceforum.com/viewt...=267473#267473

Originally Posted by gottspieler

I just hate myself sometimes... I feel like I made myself look bad even trying the competition...I have absolutely no self-confidence sometimes..what is wrong with me?

As a human being, I'll tell you that you are definitely not weak if you can lift 150kg o.O As a female I'll tell you that women appreciate more men that have muscles but are not all "pumped - up" So, even thou you are paranoid, relax and enjoy everything you do, without any back thoughts....

Originally Posted by gottspieler

sympathy and possibly praise...

OK, so the thread is not about advice for your situation then. Can you give us a reason to feel sympathetic towards your plight or why we should feel the urge to praise you? Sympathy I can understand somewhat but praise, sorry man but you haven't earned any, at least not in my opinion.

I just want people to tell me I am awesome and better than other people...is that so much to ask?

Do you want them to mean it?

Originally Posted by gottspieler

I just want people to tell me I am awesome and better than other people...is that so much to ask?

I don't think you're asking, because this is your way of telling everybody. You're either a textbook case on loss of self esteem or good at faking it. I just can't commit 100% to anything I read on the internet, especially when people say things about themselves.

Originally Posted by gottspieler

I just want people to tell me I am awesome and better than other people...is that so much to ask?

Yes!! Sorry, but realistic point of view. Not limited to you, I'm generalizing.

I just can't commit 100% to anything I read on the internet, especially when people say things about themselves.

Gotta agree here. No one says the absolute truth about themselves, ever, internet or live. Specially internet where you can be whatever you want, and who ever you want....

Originally Posted by gottspieler

I just want people to tell me I am awesome and better than other people...is that so much to ask?

sorry mate, but i'm awesome and better than other people, hence it's totally impossible for me to rate you as better than me

There's a thread that's been in Introductions for 4 years, asking the membership for their various ages. For the life of me I can't understand what the originator expected. Can any one respondent to the thread be believed? I imagine there are some but who are they?

Now we have Gotts claiming to be looking for praise. People tend to reveal things about themselves through normal conversation but with the internet there is time for each debater to think of reasonable discourse. I don't think we all aspire to write advertising copy but isn't that what Gotts is doing?

Gullibility must be at an all time high with today's communication devices and social network if Gotts expects praise to flow in his direction. Perhaps that's his whole life, selling himself (I'll stay away from prostituting but it's an option for him). I get the feeling there is a higher cost afforded someone who buys into Gotts' spiel:wink: than someone who is unaffected but is willing to throw a compliment his way.

lol