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Thread: Alcoholism

  1. #1 Alcoholism 
    Forum Junior TheDr.Spo's Avatar
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    What are the tell-tale signs that someone is about to take a dive into the depths of an addiction to alcohol?

    I have a sense that I'm starting to travel down the road, but I'm not entirely sure. Drinking every day to the point where my girlfriend admits "I'm worried about you" certainly is a concern. However, I feel okay with it, because it opens a door to apathy that I didn't have before. When she hangs around me, when I want to be alone, I can so easily tune her out that it is as though she doesn't exist. Before, I was, in a way, forced to be aware of her presence. Even though I escape with the triple distilled Jameson Irish Whiskey, or the Jim Beam Black Label Kentucky Bourbon, or the exquisitely sweet Pyrat Rum, I share a bed with her. She doesn't let me forget that I stay up later than she does. She painfully reminds me that I'm not alone.

    So, in all, I feel relief from the bottle. I feel as though I am crawling for escape as I take sip after sip from my glass. When I reach the state of uncoordinated numbness, I bask in its stupid glory.

    It is truly a sad sight to watch myself, slowly pouring more into my glass, spilling liquids of all sorts all over myself as I attempt to quench my complex thirst. As a matter of fact....

    I'm drunk right now.


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  3. #2  
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    Change your girlfriend for one that does not nag, go to the gym in between study, run in the evenings and your alcohol consumption will drop.


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  4. #3  
    Veracity Vigilante inow's Avatar
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    I think this is less about your girlfriend and more about your perception of yourself. You're obviously concerned and frustrated by your own behavior. You are so concerned that you were willing to write a post about it here to ask when your inhibitions diminished a bit. The relationship with your girlfriend is a different issue. This seems more about the relationship you have with yourself, and it sounds like you don't like yourself very much right now. Fortunately, you're the one who is able to change that pretty quickly.

    Would it be bad if I end this post by saying, Cheers!?
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  5. #4 Re: Alcoholism 
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheDr.Spo
    What are the tell-tale signs that someone is about to take a dive into the depths of an addiction to alcohol?
    When you are worried enough to write a post about it.

    I admit that I have an alcohol problem. But if I don't drink, I can't sleep, and I fail to see how it would be healthier for me to manage on 1-2 hours of sleep per night than to have a couple of pints every evening.

    I can quite easily go a few days without alcohol; I'm not actually addicted. But if I do, I won't sleep.
    "The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair." ~ Douglas Adams
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  6. #5  
    Forum Junior TheDr.Spo's Avatar
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    The problem being with me would be a harder one to face, which may be why I blame her where blame is not due.

    It turns out that one night I stayed up rather late only to get up rather early. The sleep deprivation gave me a tendency to get absorbed into my own thoughts, which caused me to forget about the fact that I wanted to drink for the next couple of days. I have only just now realized that I haven't been drinking for the past couple of days.

    However, a new source has come along. I first met a co-worker of mine a couple months ago. Within about 15 minutes, I got this overwhelming feeling that I knew this man would commit suicide. This sort of thing has happened before, but it was usually concerning rape. In those two cases of rape, I got the feeling, tried to warn people to no avail, and learned that my prediction had come to reality weeks later. The co-worker I mentioned put a gun to his head and pulled the trigger two days ago. The feeling I had, that I knew and didn't do anything about it, bothered me such that I couldn't fall asleep until the sun was almost up. Hence, this was the reason that I was sleep deprived.

    The feeling I have now falls in line with inow's observation. I hate myself.
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  7. #6  
    Veracity Vigilante inow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheDr.Spo
    The problem being with me would be a harder one to face, which may be why I blame her where blame is not due.
    I respect very much the maturity you show by openly acknowledging this. You are much farther along than most in this regard.



    Quote Originally Posted by TheDr.Spo
    The feeling I have now falls in line with inow's observation. I hate myself.
    That's perhaps a bit absolute. You're frustrated with yourself, and frankly that's the only thing which allows us to focus energy on improving ourselves. When we feel we could do or be better, we generally take steps to actually do and be better. It's funny that way. Now, we of course need to be cautious not to set our own expectations too high, as that will only lead to further despair and frustration when we (and we almost always will) fail to live up to those very high expectations.

    Be kind to yourself. Set reasonable expectations, and strive for them. Set high expectations, but acknowledge the extreme unlikelihood of achieving them in the desired time. Be patient. This isn't about hating yourself, it's about liking yourself enough to recognize you're doing something which causes you to be disappointed in yourself, and it's about the fact that you like yourself enough to want to improve it.

    When I taught kung fu, I used to tell many of my older adult students... Don't kick yourself when you're down. It doesn't exactly help you to stand up any faster.



    Geesh... If I keep this up, I'll need to start hourly billing you guys. :wink:
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  8. #7  
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheDr.Spo

    The feeling I have now falls in line with inow's observation. I hate myself.
    Look in the mirror, say to yourself " I love you " then change your girlfriend, then go training.
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  9. #8  
    Forum Junior TheDr.Spo's Avatar
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    I can't help but think, "What was the last noise he made?" "What was the last thought he had? "What was the last feeling he felt?" It all makes me cry hysterically. I can hardly go to work anymore.
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  10. #9  
    Veracity Vigilante inow's Avatar
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    So, have you decided that giving up is the way you want to go, or are you going to try to make things better?


    Talk to someone.
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  11. #10 addiction recovery 
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    However, if you're also a drug addict you can make a conscious decision to stay away from all your drug using 'buddies.' There is just no way you'll be able to stay off the drugs for long if you still associate with addicts.

    In self help literature, there is a big principle that says you become the kind of person like the people you most spend your time with. So if you want to become a healthy, happy person, those are the kinds of people you predominantly need to spend your time with.

    And I totally agree with that because the people we spend time with influence our thoughts, actions, beliefs etc. mostly in a sub-conscious way. Spend your time with successful and loving people and soon you will begin to reflect those qualities.

    Walking away from addict 'friends' can seem like the hardest thing in the world to do. It's what you know. Where you feel safe. But you simply have to, to maintain your sobriety.

    Now as I touched on initially its more obvious to do this with drug using friends and acquaintances. However when it comes to alcohol, I'm guessing most people you know drink alcohol on a purely social basis. You'll obviously need to be staying away from old alcoholic and binge drinking friends that will most likely influence you.

    For the rest, you just have to be sensible and choose where you go and who you hang out with more carefully. Genuine friends, even if they are social drinkers, will look out for you and respect you not drinking. Make sure in your own mind that you only spend time with people who you feel safe with and where you won't feel the urge to pick up or drink.

    With the places part of the equation, you've got to stay away from your old using and drinking haunts. Firstly, because a lot of the people that go there will be the people you should be looking to stay away from and secondly because those places will trigger all your drinking and drug using memories.

    You don't want all those old memories (flashbacks) being triggered because they'll put you into the wrong emotional state and create the urge for you to pick up or use and totally ruin your recovery program.



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  12. #11  
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    lots of good replies here. I agree with one of the posters above, if you are worried enough about it to ask on a forum, you need to be careful about it big time.
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