Thread: A sad day...

I met a girl at the gym yesterday. We talked and laughed for awhile and after maybe 10 minutes I said, "hey, would you like to get some coffee sometime?" She smiled and said, "I'd like that Michael." I felt really good about this. Judging from the way we flirted and felt so naturally comfortable around each other, I could already tell that we would be meeting up again soon. Or so I thought...I called what was supposed to be her number tonight and heard the voicemail of a 40-50 year old woman. Now, normally this wouldn't phase me and it wouldn't matter but I felt a connection with this girl..we really clicked...I feel that she wouldn't have purposely given me a fake number. What may have happened is that I wrote the number down wrong (I've done this twice before when getting numbers from classmates for group projects). But it just really hurts. The school I attend is very large and I may not see her again. All I know is that her first name is Chelsea and what she looks like. Is there a way I could find out how to see her again just to make sure that the wrong number wasn't simply due to my absentmindedness?

have you tried the social networks ? i know it's a long shot, but if you can limit the name to an area + get to see her photograph, that might just work if you're lucky

Thanks for the help. Couldn't find her. It's ok though. After a few days the sadness will pass. From now on I'll ask for last names as well as first names and double check to see if the number is right.

Did you leave a message? She may live with her grandmother, because I have for most of my life as well. Verify the number is incorrect before you seek alternatives.

She told me that she lives on campus.

I would knock on every door.

(bring a condom).

I thought about sending out a mass e-mail to all girls on campus named Chelsea..using an anonymous e-mail account...however, if her intent was to give me the wrong number..well..that would be embarassing...

Besides that, it's illegal to spam university email. And it is creepy as well.

Well, I won't have to. Saw her again by chance earlier today. Asked her if she mistakenly gave me the wrong number. She said no and gave me another number. Interestingly, a number which differed by 5 or 6 digits (for example, the last 4 digits the first time were something like 3487 and now they are 8969). Obviously something's fishy about that. It breaks my heart that someone could act so interested and just blatantly lie about wanting to hangout. What is the point? Did she get pleasure out of teasing me? I mean why flirt and hurt someone so much for no reason? I really thought she felt the same connection that I did...

Don't get all tragic about it. They just do it because they don't want a conversation to end with conflict.

They just think it is the easy way out for both parties.


In away she was just being nice.

Yea...I guess..

No guessing involved. People take easy ways out when they see them.

Not easy for me.

Once you are married you wish you never dated.

Hey Im posting here so I can PM you gottspieler

Perhaps she has been burned by chance meetings in the past and is being cautious... Try this instead: tell her where and when you usually get coffee and hang out. Tell her that, if she comes by she should come over to your table to talk more about... [whatever you were talking about].

Don't give her any strings and she might feel more confident.

Oh. Bring a condom.

Originally Posted by SkinWalker

Oh. Bring a condom.

lmao, just in case right? 8)

Originally Posted by Arcane_Mathematician

Originally Posted by SkinWalker

Oh. Bring a condom.

lmao, just in case right? 8)

no - coffee just tastes better when drunk out of a condom

Originally Posted by marnixR

Originally Posted by Arcane_Mathematician

Originally Posted by SkinWalker

Oh. Bring a condom.

lmao, just in case right? 8)

no - coffee just tastes better when drunk out of a condom

huh, is that what it takes to make coffee taste good?

Originally Posted by Arcane_Mathematician

Originally Posted by marnixR

Originally Posted by Arcane_Mathematician

Originally Posted by SkinWalker

Oh. Bring a condom.

lmao, just in case right? 8)

no - coffee just tastes better when drunk out of a condom

huh, is that what it takes to make coffee taste good?

There's joke about creamer in here somewhere, which makes me so glad I drink my coffee black.

you sick person !

Originally Posted by SkinWalker

Originally Posted by Arcane_Mathematician

Originally Posted by marnixR

Originally Posted by Arcane_Mathematician

Originally Posted by SkinWalker

Oh. Bring a condom.

lmao, just in case right? 8)

no - coffee just tastes better when drunk out of a condom

huh, is that what it takes to make coffee taste good?

There's joke about creamer in here somewhere, which makes me so glad I drink my coffee black.

When you drink coffee out of a condom, you don't have to add any creamer, because the creamer is already supplied.

That work?

I think that when you don't need to add creamer is when you should be worried...

on the bright side, you can't get pregnant from drinking coffee (even with creamer)

Originally Posted by marnixR

on the bright side, you can't get pregnant from drinking coffee (even with creamer)

What if you are having sex while drinking coffee? That could do the trick.

Be careful not to spill any...

sperm and coffee don't form a good mixture

and you know that from experience...?

Actually there was a case where a couple entered a hospitable, the woman had a black eye and burn marks while the guy had marks on his member. Spill>pain,bite>pain,hit to remove. Basically don't multitask

Gottspieler i think spurious is right in that she was doing you both a favor tbh. Allthough lying to you and bringing your hopes up mightve been devastating - would giving you a straight out "No" be any better?

Also you cant let these things bring you down in life.

On a personal level ive lost all respect for women. I was the super nice, id say better than average looking kind guy that was always polite. never got me women. THen i went out on town sick of it one day thinking "ill only say what i think girls WANT to hear" in addition to maybe be a little rude and pull them down (attack THEIR confidence) and act all "Whatever" using maipulation to a sickening degree... and guess what it works. Ive gotten several one night stands since applying that method while being nice have reeled me in a total sum of zero girls.

In conclusion: Life sucks get used to it, women isnt worth it. There is ofcourse rare exceptions but the thing is girls that ARE nice are taken so fast and the competition is so high youd have to be batman.

Saw her today..she was with a friend...she grabbed his arm and ran in the opposite direction...now it is painstakingly obvious that she for some reason dislikes me....I have never avoided someone in such a way...what a rude bitch...

This happens to me all too often, I make a strange impression on people. The way I see it is, if someone wants to avoid you after meeting you once, are they really someone you want to be close to anyway?

Maybe she's afraid I'll rape her..lol..idk...I am a big guy...

Sounds like that fraulein is a lost cause. Sign up as a Deutsch tutor, there's a chance you might get assigned to a hottie.

Yeah... cause a lot of cheerleaders and strippers study German these days.



To the OP: I don't mean to be mean or rude, only blunt. You sound desperate. She probably sensed it, and wanted nothing to do with it. She likely has her own shit to deal with, and doesn't want to add yours to her existing burden. Find some confidence in yourself, stop ruminating about every girl who does more than ignore you, and the things you chase will begin coming to you instead.

agreed there : try to be a good casual friend, and with a bit of luck things may fall into place with someone, somewhere
but not on this occasion

Yeah... cause a lot of cheerleaders and strippers study German these days.

http://<a href="http://www.flickr.co...34303081/</a>.

Originally Posted by GiantEvil

Yeah... cause a lot of cheerleaders and strippers study German these days.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/25936994@N00/2334303081/

lmao

They do in Germany, inow.

Where do you live, (country) gottspieler

Haha..yea I love sex and it makes me desperate...and I'm not being sarcastic it is true..any good looking girl I see I want to have sex with...desperately

Originally Posted by Arcane_Mathematician

Originally Posted by GiantEvil

Yeah... cause a lot of cheerleaders and strippers study German these days.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/25936994@N00/2334303081/

lmao

They do in Germany, inow.

Where do you live, (country) gottspieler

Born and raised in the USA.

Originally Posted by gottspieler

Originally Posted by Arcane_Mathematician

Originally Posted by GiantEvil

Yeah... cause a lot of cheerleaders and strippers study German these days.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/25936994@N00/2334303081/

lmao

They do in Germany, inow.

Where do you live, (country) gottspieler

Born and raised in the USA.

ah, then, yeah, inow's point most definitely holds.

More sad than the day or Gottspieler's social awkwardness is his bigotry; http://www.thescienceforum.com/Has-A...ies-27927t.php

Yeah..and the fact that I've dated a hispanic and a black girl in the past supports that.

that's a bit uncalled for, GE.

From reading his different threads, Gottspieler makes me think of Harold Lauder from The Stand.

May I share my sad day here?

Sad day is: I got an A on my final Math examination. But yet I am not satisfied with the grade because I have not been accurate enough, not precise enough, not creative enough. I have been too easy on myself and totally relied on my very limited intelligence. I am not the same as I was for a few months ago. I have forgotten my most important discipline: An inch of mistake is a meter of work. Yet, I proudly state how much I like Maths. This makes me but a hypocrat.

Sad day is: I realize the bound between a smart student and a good student, which category I belong to and which category I want to belong to.

Sad day is: I want too much yet I do too little. My surroundings expect too much from me, yet I cannot live up to all that. The saddest is I help to build those expectations and at the same time, I fear my limited self.

Sad day is: I cannot genuine share this to anyone. I am afraid. I always sound too happy to have these problems. Everyone thinks I am too happy and carefree to have these problems.

Yes, some cognitive behavior therapy is seriously needed here.

Are you an undergrad? If so, I say learn the basics right now. Learn what your teachers want you to learn. In grad school you will have to do the same. If you want to "think outside of the box" aka feel intellectually fulfilled,as it seems to me that if what you really want, then study interesting subjects on your own time. You may not have time to do it while you are in school unfortunately. That's what summer is for. :P And no need to be sad...you are smart enough to know how to succeed and that is enough for now.

Just relax.

Consider that most of us, even if we get an A, don't really learn materials in depth until we use that same information in a subsequent class, apply it on the job, or best of all, teach it to others.

the danger of perfectionism is that you may never be happy, because your ideal is not attainable

Originally Posted by gottspieler

Are you an undergrad? If so, I say learn the basics right now. Learn what your teachers want you to learn. In grad school you will have to do the same. If you want to "think outside of the box" aka feel intellectually fulfilled,as it seems to me that if what you really want, then study interesting subjects on your own time. You may not have time to do it while you are in school unfortunately. That's what summer is for. :P And no need to be sad...you are smart enough to know how to succeed and that is enough for now.

I am a senior high-school student, an 11th grader.

Thanks for the kind words. I am well-aware of my problematic self. My one consolation is that I am not the only one with my problems (perfectionism, as MarixR said) and hopefully I won't destroy myself before I become something useful

At least, I should have achieved as much as Cantor before I go mental, haha 8)

@Lynx_Fox: Indeed. Better said: Not I am not satisfied with my grade, I am not satisfied with my performance at the examination, nor all preparation before that.

@marnixR: I think I used to have an avatar, the perfectionist, on fb. The first step is to accept your problem

You see? I sound too cheerful to have problems!

If you think that's bad, for reasons probably related to a mood stabilizer that I have since stopped taking, I stopped going to class altogether. During the week of my second tests for my classes I would, for every single one of them, sit, stare into the wall while thinking about things, not write anything aside from my name on the test, and hand it in five minutes before the end of the period. I never returned to any of my classes again after that. This week, my friends, is finals week, and for some reason I still don't give half a rat's ass.

A week after the incident, I stopped taking my mood stabilizer in fear that the cause of the event was that the medication eliminated my driving force, my motivation, anxiety. Although, I have not wasted my time. In the meantime, I have read many books on topics of science, history and philosophy. I have acquired a job in order to amass a disposable income to finance my personal construction of a new desktop computer which I have already started to buy parts for. I have used the knowledge I have gained thus far in my courses to generate systems to interpolate/extrapolate the apparent magnitude at certain phases of particular stars in the night sky (i.e. spline curves). I have even gone as far, with that last example, as to write a lengthy paper discussing the topic and my methods, which was written on a whim and now sits in the My Documents folder on my desktop. I have done research with Computational Fluid Dynamics on turbine and air compressor blades. I am now spending some free time posting on this forum as means to relieve intellectual boredom by being given the opportunity to employ my own logic and reasoning as well as being given opportunities to answer the questions of others when they seem a little lost. However, it has been a month and a half since I stopped the treatment, and I still don't care at all, which, ironically, worries me.

Although, I may have some things to be proud of, I essentially FAILED this Fall semester of 2010. It occupies my thoughts on ideas that I'm just wasted potential, as always, that I'll never find the motivation to complete my college education. So, not only did I feel that I was inadequate, I failed every single course I was taking this semester.

Just so that all of you know, I'm a third year Aerospace Engineering student. I was triple majoring in that, Physics and Mathematics. However, again, due to my tendency to be lazy and self-defeating, I eventually dropped the other two and stuck with the major that seemed most practical for finding a job when I get out of college.

My sad day.

Your sad day? Sounds like your sad life. And I don't mean it in a condescending way. I can relate. I am you... to a lesser extent (probably not as smart). I am also not a warlock..just so you know...lol... It seems that many intelligent people tend to be overachievers for a short period of time, get burned out when they find out they have too much on their plate, then fail miserably. I think it stems from childhood insecurity and strict parents in most cases. Parents often simply want their children to succeed in life and sometimes push them too far. I once wished to major in Biology and Anthropology. Then I took a chem class, failed it, and thought..well, Anthro is still interesting enough on its own and I can minor in Bio to take all of the zoology classes I wanted to take...we tend to underestimate the limits of our own potential/the difficulty of staying on top of things in school (especially when, as an intelligent person, you often learn to focus on solely things that are of intellectual interest to yourself). The smartest people on earth do the same...if they didn't they wouldn't always strive to be something greater than they are...

Yes, it is sad. Doctor, you did actually write a 47-word-long sentence, if this fact happens to make your day any...brighter. (Or I just embarrassed myself totally )

I study Psychology. Within the Biological perspective field, the crazy doctors have proved there are a small portion of thrill-seekers. They want dopamin and adrenaline kicks all the time, otherwise they are down in the mouth. Besides becoming a drug addict, many choose dangerous and extreme sports, but also intellectually stimulating activities like chest, solving problems, WoW (lol) etc.

The brain is able to produce only a small dopamin amount a day. These thrill-seekers will get an extreme kick but their dopamin will be totally excreted.

The remaining consequences are for you to speculate.

Why I mention this point? Just an attempt to find a logical reason for gottspieler's "burned-out" use of term

Well, sometimes I think we need to get lost to find our right path, to be unbalanced to get balance. Self-defeat will teach some to stand strong. "Don't be too happy with small achievements. Don't give up with great failure." The most important thing is: What do you really want to do with your life? Do you want to contribute something to the society? Do you want to become a millionaire? Or do you want a peaceful life?

Originally Posted by T.T.T

Yes, it is sad. Doctor, you did actually write a 47-word-long sentence, if this fact happens to make your day any...brighter. (Or I just embarrassed myself totally )

I didn't know that sentence length was a measure of some positive attribute, .

I agree with you, gottspieler, on the notion that we learn to focus on what we find stimulating. That seems to be exactly what I have done. I still wish to procure a degree, though. I am firmly decided on that point, because my interests seem to have no defined direction or potential purpose. So, really, the degree is the only path forward I have, even though it seems as though I am becoming less interested as the courses narrow in on the specific field. At least I have that goal to reach, at this point. Whether or not that degree becomes inconsequential to what desired path I discover later on has no bearing on my worries. It'll serve as a foot-in-the-door for my true independence and feeling of individuality.

It seems as though what I have now is an underdeveloped intellectual pallet and an insatiable appetite for nearly general knowledge. I want to learn the basics of all fields. I feel as though I want to learn the things that can be applied widely and leave room for contemplation. Upper Division courses get so specific that I feel as though I'm going through "the same old stuff" but looking at it in a different light. Really, I'm not too far off in that way of interpreting it. "Alright, remember Newton's second law? We're going to do more with it that you've not had to do before." It all seems trivial in the sense that it's first-year material with a third-year spin. Hence, I lose all interest due to it's lack of novelty.

Numerical Analysis is, from what I gathered, iterating systems of linear equations, mostly a rehash of Linear Algebra or Matrix Computations with some dealings with Taylor's Series later on that just bring me back to Calc II. However, I did find some of the interpolating and extrapolating methods rather cool, as I briefly mentioned before. Dynamics is mostly comprised of basic physical mechanics combined with a little Calculus and Statics techniques. Thermodynamics and Fluid Mechanics... it just gets worse. Airplane performance, in its defense, may have been mildly entertaining if I wasn't already a licensed pilot, but it was like Ground School all over again for me. I couldn't help but stare through the wall.

Am I alone in this? Has anyone the same issue? Funny thing, I ran into two of my Differential Equations teachers from semesters ago. They asked me how my semester went, I had to tell them what happened. They gave me their condolences and hoped I would get it together next semester. One of them even said, "You are a good student, you just do too much. You overload yourself. I think you burned yourself out."

Another sad day and a confirmation for gottspieler. Although, I did not have overbearing parents aside from the occasional, "See, I know you can make good grades. Why don't you try?" Naturally, I strove to make straight A's in school until I fell into my first depression that lasted for... years. Grades became mediocre while standardized tests and the such were usually in the 99th percentile (aside from reading sections, I stopped reading books at age 5 and my persistent, underdeveloped reading skills would usually murder me in those sections. However, even then the scores were in average range. Thankfully, I'm now devotedly taking up reading again...at full speed too :wink: ). So, you were correct about me, but missed the cause, in my case at least.