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Thread: Evolution According to South Park

  1. #1 Evolution According to South Park 
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    Ms. Garrison:

    "All right, kids, it is now my job to teach you the theory of evolution.

    Now I, for one, think evolution is a bunch of *bullcrap*! But I've been told I have to teach it to you anyway. It was thought up by Charles Darwin and it goes something like this...

    In the beginning, we were all fish. Okay? Swimming around in the water. And then one day a couple of fish had a retard baby, and the retard baby was different, so it got to live. So Retard Fish goes on to make more retard babies, and then one day, a retard baby fish crawled out of the ocean with its...

    ...mutant fish hands... and it had butt sex with a squirrel or something and made this.

    Retard frog-sqirrel, and then *that* had a retard baby which was a... monkey-fish-frog... And then this monkey-fish-frog had butt sex with that monkey, and that monkey had a mutant retard baby that screwed another monkey... and that made you!

    So there you go! You're the retarded offspring of five monkeys having butt sex with a fish-squirrel! Congratulations!


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  3. #2  
    Forum Professor Obviously's Avatar
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    Hilarious, but grossly inaccurate.


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  4. #3  
    墨子 DaBOB's Avatar
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    I think it's brilliant.

    So, if you want to evolve to something greater, well, you know what has to be done.
    Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead... only realize the truth. There is no spoon. Then you'll see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself. -Spoon Boy
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