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Thread: How Do I Deal With Racism?

  1. #1 How Do I Deal With Racism? 
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    Ok. Wow. I haven't felt this low in a long time. Today in school, some kid comes up to me and just says, "I feel so sorry for you because your skin is the color of shit." I was shocked, and just stood there stupidly like a stunned goldfish or something. Then another time, a bunch of kids came up to me and started calling me "Porno" because my name is Suporna (an Indian name meaning immortal). Of course, it went downhill from there when they started yelling outside, "Indians are bloody, porn-loving bastards!"

    I wanted to cry.

    I honestly don't know what to do or say. I can't tell them what to think or say, but I do wish they'd just shut up. Even me and my Chinese friend were taunted one day by this one idiotic blond kid in our science class, "Filthy Asians. Coming into America and trying to beat us to the real money. Why don't you just go back to your hellholes in India and China where you belong?!"

    My friend didn't say anything...just took my wrist and tugged me away gently before I could morph into a piddling puddle of jello at the kid's feet.

    So my question is: when something like this happens, what do you do? Do you stoop to their level and retaliate? Do you walk away like it didn't mean anything when really you want to scream? Do you tell someone only to find that it backfired on you?

    Please, I need advice. Or one day I'll find my fist somehow lodged into another person's face, and I know for sure I will regret such a decision.

    Bye.


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    WYSIWYG Moderator marnixR's Avatar
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    what sort of school condones this type of abuse ?

    i'm not advocating that you follow my example, but when someone was trying to bully me at school i fought back - physically, which is the only way they'll understand

    even though i got detention for it, at least the bullying stopped


    "Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away." (Philip K. Dick)
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    what sort of school condones this type of abuse ?
    Oh, they don't condone it. In fact, there are regular discussions in our classes about why bullying is such a terrible thing. The problem is, the bullying is only fueled more by these "waging peace" lessons. Yes, that is what they are called. And I suppose this makes me a coward, but I don't want to physically hurt someone solely for the fact that I'm afraid of how they'd get revenge. And sometimes, it's just little things that they do. Like how at lunch, if the main dish is something beef, they sit next to me, hold the food under my nose and then stick it in their mouths saying, "Mmm, this cow tastes soooo good." Or, "Ahh, that's one more delicious cow down my throat."

    In case you don't understand why this is such a huge slight for me, it is because Indians are generally not supposed to eat beef due to the fact that Hinduism treats cows as sacred creatures. The same is with Muslims, except their forbidden food is pork.

    I hate life.
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  5. #4  
    WYSIWYG Moderator marnixR's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tritai
    what sort of school condones this type of abuse ?
    Oh, they don't condone it.
    if they allow it to happen, that's the same as condoning it, whatever sticky plaster they try put on it
    "Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away." (Philip K. Dick)
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  6. #5 Re: How Do I Deal With Racism? 
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    Quote Originally Posted by tritai
    Ok. Wow. I haven't felt this low in a long time. Today in school, some kid comes up to me and just says, "I feel so sorry for you because your skin is the color of shit." I was shocked, and just stood there stupidly like a stunned goldfish or something. Then another time, a bunch of kids came up to me and started calling me "Porno" because my name is Suporna (an Indian name meaning immortal). Of course, it went downhill from there when they started yelling outside, "Indians are bloody, porn-loving bastards!"

    I wanted to cry.

    I honestly don't know what to do or say. I can't tell them what to think or say, but I do wish they'd just shut up. Even me and my Chinese friend were taunted one day by this one idiotic blond kid in our science class, "Filthy Asians. Coming into America and trying to beat us to the real money. Why don't you just go back to your hellholes in India and China where you belong?!"

    My friend didn't say anything...just took my wrist and tugged me away gently before I could morph into a piddling puddle of jello at the kid's feet.

    So my question is: when something like this happens, what do you do? Do you stoop to their level and retaliate? Do you walk away like it didn't mean anything when really you want to scream? Do you tell someone only to find that it backfired on you?

    Please, I need advice. Or one day I'll find my fist somehow lodged into another person's face, and I know for sure I will regret such a decision.

    Bye.
    What age are you tritai? Are you in highschool?

    Thing is, there's probably not a whole lot you can do about such people. Talk to someone you trust if you need to vent, but there's no point in retaliating or arguing with bullies. Your race is just one thing on a long list of excuses that some people will use to try and put you down. You could be a white male American and still take this sort of flak because you have red hair, are too tall or too short, wear glasses or the wrong sort of shoes or just because you're smarter than the others. People who need to put others down so that they feel better are not people you should really fear, but probably pity. Not that you should try telling them that! Their own fear and directionless anger is ruling them and there's no amount of reasoning with them (nor fighting with them) that will change that. Some of them, indeed most of them, will grow up in time. You might even meet some of them five years from now and find that they turned into decent people that you actually like. Highschool is a scary place, it changes people and some people wake up when they leave it and have to face the real world. Some do not.

    You will grow up though. You'll leave that world behind some day and chances are good you'll find that university and work are a hell of a lot easier. Racism and bullying will still exist, but it should be much rarer and far easier to cope with. The people still pushing that crap when you're 25 will tend to be losers failing at life. Until then, keep your head up and don't let the bullies change you, it'd be really easy for you to give in to the fear and become just like them.
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    What age are you tritai? Are you in highschool?

    Thing is, there's probably not a whole lot you can do about such people. Talk to someone you trust if you need to vent, but there's no point in retaliating or arguing with bullies. Your race is just one thing on a long list of excuses that some people will use to try and put you down. You could be a white male American and still take this sort of flak because you have red hair, are too tall or too short, wear glasses or the wrong sort of shoes or just because you're smarter than the others. People who need to put others down so that they feel better are not people you should really fear, but probably pity. Not that you should try telling them that! Their own fear and directionless anger is ruling them and there's no amount of reasoning with them (nor fighting with them) that will change that. Some of them, indeed most of them, will grow up in time. You might even meet some of them five years from now and find that they turned into decent people that you actually like. Highschool is a scary place, it changes people and some people wake up when they leave it and have to face the real world. Some do not.

    You will grow up though. You'll leave that world behind some day and chances are good you'll find that university and work are a hell of a lot easier. Racism and bullying will still exist, but it should be much rarer and far easier to cope with. The people still pushing that crap when you're 25 will tend to be losers failing at life. Until then, keep your head up and don't let the bullies change you, it'd be really easy for you to give in to the fear and become just like them.

    I just turned 13 yesterday and am in 8th grade. As to why I'm a year younger, it's because I skipped 3rd grade and went from 2nd to 4th. And thanks TB, that was really nice and uplifting. And now that you mention it, I am pretty apprehensive about high school. People go through some drastic changes in those four years...I've seen it happen.

    if they allow it to happen, that's the same as condoning it, whatever sticky plaster they try put on it
    I suppose. Is it ironic somehow that our school's name is Freedom Middle School?
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  8. #7  
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    In no way have I been anywhere near what you are going through. But Americans in general are racist pigs on majority. That said means that will be a part of their culture for a long time. There is nothing you can do about that.

    Just remember that every child that undergoes bullying is because they have something they don't, a knowledge they don't know. And by hurting you they are stopping themselves from hurting themselves. Its horrible that this happens in the world.

    Listen, you have rights as a human being to not be discriminated. And not to be put under this torture. They are your human rights... Get your parents to tell the school and the bullies parents that if it is not stopped, your parents will contact theur solicitors and take the school to court on grounds of failure to maintain human rights.

    That will be huge bad publicity on the school, and more so will reveal that 'waging peace' lessons are nothing but a waste of taxpayers money and is evident in your situation.

    You have rights as a human being and if the school does nothing to make your life free of rascism then you and your family can sue the school...

    If your parents do this, then the most likely thing that will happen is that either you or the bullies will be separated. The school bullies are probably mummy's boys and girls so when their parents get a 'race hate letter' home they'll be in a world of shit. If anything happens after that or they try and confront you (the bullies) make sure people see it so thats solid proof of the bullying. They will be booted from the school, the school will be fined and official inspectors will investigate top to bottom. Again being bad publicicty for the school.

    Try and get other friends of yours that are suffering similar problems to do the same.

    So tell your parents your rights, get them in paper from a legal office or The Internet and contact your family solicitor. Stuff like this is gold for them (unfortuanetly for the people suffering race hate exists in the first place).

    Your problems will slowly but surely vanish and you'll be protected by the school 10 fold what you are now.

    If you have any questions please don't hesitate to come here. Don't hate life, hate those that hurt you if you must hate at all. That will fuel the need to get rid of them. There have been many sad stories of bullying and you are the one who has to stand up to it.

    Ideally the simple, but violent way is to do like marnixR says. Beat them up. I find rolling a newspaper up really tight is the equivalent to a small log of wood. Or a brick in your school bag when they are own their own in some rural gitty (alley) works wonders.

    Violent or non-violent way to solving this is entirely up to you. But as I say, please come back with questions if you need to .


    Stephen.


    EDIT!:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interna...crimination.22

    That link there gives a little info you might need. The fact that it is a convention, and the countries in green are under that convention, that means all states in the USA must adhere to it also.

    Try and get evidence of what the school bullies are doing. You can buy tiny audio recorders in some electronic shops and outlets. Your parents solicitors may also be able to find a way of getting small cameras also. It all helps.
    "If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe". - Carl Sagan
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    Against ignorant hate,the best weapon is sarcastic indifference. If everytime they make fun of you, they come off feeling stupid and you don't stick around long enough for them to get joy from it, they won't keep doing it and you'll have the pleasure of not sinking to their level.

    But Americans in general are racist pigs on majority. That said means that will be a part of their culture for a long time. There is nothing you can do about that.
    And this is in no way a racist comment.
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  10. #9  
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    Someone cottoned on...

    Put that in there as irony that even those who give advice can hold prejudices. I don't though, just from personal experiences I have denoted racism from Americans. But my evidence for this is limited to people on xbox live so you can see the bias in that. And in comparison and highnsight I can also see that the average intellect of people on xbox live means racism. AKA lack of intellect causes race hate I believe. More over, a lack of understanding.

    I see it all the time on xbox live. Americans, British, French, Middle easterners. There are a lot of racist people on there. Maybe I should look elsewhere before drawing a conclusion next time...

    Anyway, brilliant with the sarcastic indifference. I totally forgot about that.
    "If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe". - Carl Sagan
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    If you feel up to it you can make a joke about Indians yourself when they pester you. That way they see that it is not hurting you and they might leave you alone when their intentions are defeated. Search the internet for Indian jokes! Also, remember that when they come up to you and make racist comments that it is the same as telling you that they are stupid and ignorant. You sound like a smart guy, so laugh at their simple-mindedness and take pride in your superior abilities!
    Disclaimer: I do not declare myself to be an expert on ANY subject. If I state something as fact that is obviously wrong, please don't hesitate to correct me. I welcome such corrections in an attempt to be as truthful and accurate as possible.

    "Gullibility kills" - Carl Sagan
    "All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it." - Harry Block
    "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle
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    I always use to just beat the snot out of the bullies when they tried their shit. They were a bit shocked when I was smashing their heads in to lockers. I was tall but thin when growing up. Most people underestimated my physical strength. My whole family is far stronger then they appear, must be genetics. Now at 6'5" 245 lbs I don't get many people that want to mess with me. I also try to avoid confrontation at all costs, as an adult it just shows signs of lack of intelligence. Unfortunately many children don't understand anything but violence. By the time I was a senior in school the vast majority of people would not mess with me, there was always that one however.

    Best of luck on that one.
    Pleased to meet you. Hope you guess my name
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    I swear, if I knew who all you guys really were, I'd run over to each and every one of you and give you a giant hug. You all have never even met me and yet you are so kind and thoughtful! It's good to know that our world still has people like you who know how to make a person feel infinitely better.

    Your problems will slowly but surely vanish and you'll be protected by the school 10 fold what you are now.
    They already are.

    Thanks, Stephen. I almost cried at the end of your post: I couldn't believe someone could care so much about a stupid 13 year old's plight. Believe me, I will definitely take action. Thank you once again.

    Against ignorant hate,the best weapon is sarcastic indifference.
    Don't encourage me. My mouth is harsh enough as it is. And indifference is like an alien word to me, because no matter how much I try, I always feel like I can't let the other person feel like they've bested me in a verbal battle of insults. I know. It's a very bad thing, but I honestly can't help but lash out when I'm angry. After all, punching a wall can't be the smartest thing, now can it?

    If you feel up to it you can make a joke about Indians yourself when they pester you. That way they see that it is not hurting you and they might leave you alone when their intentions are defeated. Search the internet for Indian jokes! Also, remember that when they come up to you and make racist comments that it is the same as telling you that they are stupid and ignorant. You sound like a smart guy, so laugh at their simple-mindedness and take pride in your superior abilities!

    Laughter is the best medicine. How's this Kalster? 1,7,12, 15, and 32 dont apply to me:

    36 ways to identify an Indian

    1. Everything you eat is savoured in garlic, onion and tomatoes.

    2. You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminium foil.

    3. You are Always standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the Airport.

    4. You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and think it's normal.

    5. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to stamp.

    6. You recycle Wedding Gifts, Birthday Gifts and Anniversary Gifts.

    7. You name your children! in rhythms (example, Sita & Gita, Ram & Shyam, Kamini & Shamini.)

    8. All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere close to their real names.

    9. You take Indian snacks anywhere it says 'No Food Allowed' ..

    10. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.

    11. You load up the family car with as many people as possible.

    12. You use plastic to cover anything new in your house whether it's the remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch.

    13. Your parents tell you not to care what your friends think, but they won't let you do certain things because of what the other 'Uncles and Aunties' will think..

    14. You buy and display crockery, which is never used, as it is for special occasions,which never happen.

    15. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.

    16. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.

    17. You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as possible.

    18. Your kitchen shelf is full of jars, varieties of bowls and plastic utensils (got free with purchase of other stuff )

    19. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).

    20. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.

    21. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.

    22. You live with your parents and you are 40 years old. (And they prefer it that way).

    23. You don't use measuring cups when cooking.

    24. You never learn how to stand in a queue.

    25. You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or receive you whether you are traveling by bus, train or plane.

    26. If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose daughter has run with whose son and feel proud to spread it at the velocity of more than the speed of light.

    27. Your wedding gifts are mostly in cash with a one rupee coin added to the note in a cover.

    28. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.

    29. You call an older person you never met before Uncle orAunty.

    30. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes,you discover you're talking to a distant cousin.

    31. Your parents don't realize phone connections ! to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making foreign calls.

    32. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them from getting dirty.

    33. It's embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people.

    34. All your Tupperware is stained with food color.

    35.. You have drinking glasses made of steel.

    36. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.

    What about you, my fellow Indians?


    (In)Sanity - I'd prefer not to die young.
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    (In)Sanity - I'd prefer not to die young. Smile
    Ha, I've never feared death. I only fear living in fear. I'm the guy that when a gun goes off next to me my only thought is avoiding the bullet and evaluating the situation. I'll worry about the severity of the situation at a later date.

    I'm very happy your problems are working out.
    Pleased to meet you. Hope you guess my name
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    Ha, I've never feared death.
    Never? Are you sure? Even in childhood? If that's the case, then I dearly wish I had your courage. I'm the girl who would flinch violently at the sound of a gunshot, and then quickly get my friends and loved ones out of there.

    But that's only when I'm on an adrenaline high.
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  16. #15  
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    I once had a best friend for many years who was Indian and his family Indian. I was always uncomfortable as to be unknown why they treated me like a member of the family. I was so shy to move in their domain. And yes I did notice looking back plastic sheets on furnature.

    I believe they had a huge tolerance for me. I did not know then and understand why my friend liked coming to mine. Him and his sister would go crazy and wild and opened up. They used to do a lot of smashing and once my friend knocked my playstation off the counter. He did not understand my upset, yet with great respect, understood. Yet at their own home it was different. I believe that the world has a lot to learn from each other and now looking back, I feel guilty for asking him to leave (which Harri suggested (my friends name)) when he knocked the playstation off. I feel compelled to apologise.

    I can only try to understand what it is like to be that way. But perhaps I am not living the same and seeing the same as an Indian would, or as I would see them. I don't know, all I know is that from my perspective it must be very hard.


    You know, in hignsight the western world is supposed to be evolved and technologically advanced. But culturally, I believe we are so very very far behind. I hope one day I can understand all cultures and just be in harmony with all each other. Its not money or power or greed or land or jealousy that causes war and pestilence...

    It's misunderstanding... Thank you tritai, by reading that you have written I have learned a great deal about Indians, the world and myself. Some may see that as trivial and meaningless. But in a world of emptiness and lonliness, I realise that it is that attitude that keeps it that way. Thanks again. Wisdom knows no age, and age knows no wisdom.
    "If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe". - Carl Sagan
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    Quote Originally Posted by tritai
    Ha, I've never feared death.
    Never? Are you sure? Even in childhood? If that's the case, then I dearly wish I had your courage. I'm the girl who would flinch violently at the sound of a gunshot, and then quickly get my friends and loved ones out of there.

    But that's only when I'm on an adrenaline high.
    It takes a tremendous amount to scare me. I once got a gang banger off my property because his 120 lb rottweiler was in my yard. I was in his face because I knew I could do plenty of damage to him before his dog did anything too serious I also know the dog could be taken out of play if your willing to take a bite. Dogs don't function well without eyeballs, the problem is trying to hold them still. If they have a hold of you it's a little easier. When I was a kid I would antagonize the craziest kids in the school.
    Pleased to meet you. Hope you guess my name
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    You never entered military service by any chance did you IS?
    "If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe". - Carl Sagan
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bad Wolf
    You never entered military service by any chance did you IS?
    I never did, I have a brother and nephew who are Marines. I've always had a military fascination. I don't like to let anger ever control my ability to reason and think. I will use force without hesitation if no logical solution exists. There is no point in senseless conflict when it's not going to benefit you in the long run.
    Pleased to meet you. Hope you guess my name
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    They used to do a lot of smashing and once my friend knocked my playstation off the counter. He did not understand my upset, yet with great respect, understood. Yet at their own home it was different. I believe that the world has a lot to learn from each other and now looking back, I feel guilty for asking him to leave (which Harri suggested (my friends name)) when he knocked the playstation off. I feel compelled to apologise.
    Oh, don't worry, I've been very ticked off at some of my friends too for messing up my stuff, or just going through my precious stock of storybooks. I remember that once, one of my friends just walked into my room and took one of my books without asking. I was angry the next day when I found out he had taken it without asking, but imagine my fury when he approached me shamefacedly and timidly held out the book...or what was left of it, that is. Apparently his neighbor's dog had attacked the book and ripped it in a frenzy; all that was in his hands was a mangled, torn remnant of my beautiful book.

    I was angry, hurt, and overall, just furious! I completely snubbed him for a long time. But later my father came to me and said quietly, "Friends are allowed to make mistakes, Trisha. After all, if your brother did something like this, would you be so mad at him like this? No, right? So how can you be so mad at your good friend, who is no less than a family member himself?"

    I was humbled that day, I think. And we are still great friends, even though he lives in California, and I in Georgia.

    True, blood does run thicker than water...but friendship runs thicker than both.


    [color=green]P.S. If you refer to one of the ways to identify an Indian, you'll find that Indians have completely different nicknames compared to their real names. Mine is Trisha, although I'm really Suporna. My brother's is Tutai. hence, my username for this forum is in fact a combo of the two: Tritai. [/tex]
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  21. #20  
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    Brilliant. Oh that just sums it up. Absolute genius. Much to learn I have.
    "If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe". - Carl Sagan
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