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Thread: Who Wins?

  1. #1 Who Wins? 
    Forum Freshman EndlessEndeavor's Avatar
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    A fight to the death between a sleepy gorilla, and a pissed off polar bear. Both full grown males.


    If at first you don't succeed, it wasn't meant to be. It's just a waste of time 'cause the unions just gonna take your money anyway, 'cause they jealous that we got an extra bone in our body that makes us smarter, but don't nobody in science care to acknowledge that, and you were an unwanted pregnancy, and you ruined my dirtbikin career, and get outta my sight you disgust me! You talking bout that one daddy?
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    Quote Originally Posted by EndlessEndeavor View Post
    A fight to the death between a sleepy gorilla, and a pissed off polar bear. Both full grown males.
    A sleepy gorilla being attacked would become a pissed off gorilla in short order.

    With large fangs, powerful arms and excellent movement control, my chips lie with the Gorilla. A Polar bear is strong and fierce, but would be more likely to take flight from a gorilla.
    The Polar bear has a strong and agile neck and powerful jaws, but it's used to prey that lack the ability to grab it in a strangle hold.

    Does make me wonder, though.... Were you ever on the old BAUT forum?


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    Malignant Pimple shlunka's Avatar
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    The polar bear has 1,000 pounds on the gorilla, stronger bite, stronger arms, but less intelligence. A more suitable matchup would be a gorilla and Neverfly.
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  5. #4  
    Forum Freshman EndlessEndeavor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neverfly View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by EndlessEndeavor View Post
    A fight to the death between a sleepy gorilla, and a pissed off polar bear. Both full grown males.
    A sleepy gorilla being attacked would become a pissed off gorilla in short order.With large fangs, powerful arms and excellent movement control, my chips lie with the Gorilla. A Polar bear is strong and fierce, but would be more likely to take flight from a gorilla.The Polar bear has a strong and agile neck and powerful jaws, but it's used to prey that lack the ability to grab it in a strangle hold.Does make me wonder, though.... Were you ever on the old BAUT forum?
    Actually, I don't know what that is.
    If at first you don't succeed, it wasn't meant to be. It's just a waste of time 'cause the unions just gonna take your money anyway, 'cause they jealous that we got an extra bone in our body that makes us smarter, but don't nobody in science care to acknowledge that, and you were an unwanted pregnancy, and you ruined my dirtbikin career, and get outta my sight you disgust me! You talking bout that one daddy?
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  6. #5  
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    Quote Originally Posted by EndlessEndeavor View Post
    Actually, I don't know what that is.
    There was a member there who would ask such questions, such as "Who would win: a Tyrannosaurus Rex vs. an Excavator.?" He would pop up with interesting combos once in a while...
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  7. #6  
    Forum Freshman EndlessEndeavor's Avatar
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    He sounds like a pretty bad sun'bitch!
    If at first you don't succeed, it wasn't meant to be. It's just a waste of time 'cause the unions just gonna take your money anyway, 'cause they jealous that we got an extra bone in our body that makes us smarter, but don't nobody in science care to acknowledge that, and you were an unwanted pregnancy, and you ruined my dirtbikin career, and get outta my sight you disgust me! You talking bout that one daddy?
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  8. #7  
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    Quote Originally Posted by EndlessEndeavor View Post
    He sounds like a pretty bad sun'bitch!
    Perhaps, it's been many years now... So I remember very little of it. But I recall the T.Rex vs. Excavator thread as that one was a riot...
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  9. #8  
    Forum Radioactive Isotope cosmictraveler's Avatar
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    I'd think it would depend on where the fight took place. Say it happened in the middle of winter in the Artic region with -20 degree weather, then I'd say the polar bear would win very easily but if the match took place in the middle of summer in the jungle with temperatures reaching 120 degrees then the gorilla would have the advantage.
    Last edited by cosmictraveler; March 26th, 2013 at 06:22 AM.
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  10. #9  
    Forum Freshman EndlessEndeavor's Avatar
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    You're right... I concluded that terrain was the biggest factor. A gorilla may very well be intelligent enough to pick up/improvise a weapon out of his available resources, I'll equalize it... 75 degrees F in a vacant high school gym.
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  11. #10  
    Forum Freshman EndlessEndeavor's Avatar
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    ( I legitimately have wondered this for a while, physiologically)
    If at first you don't succeed, it wasn't meant to be. It's just a waste of time 'cause the unions just gonna take your money anyway, 'cause they jealous that we got an extra bone in our body that makes us smarter, but don't nobody in science care to acknowledge that, and you were an unwanted pregnancy, and you ruined my dirtbikin career, and get outta my sight you disgust me! You talking bout that one daddy?
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    Quote Originally Posted by shlunka View Post
    The polar bear has 1,000 pounds on the gorilla, stronger bite, stronger arms, but less intelligence. A more suitable matchup would be a gorilla and Neverfly.
    This is true and in an actual fight to the death, the Polar Bear would be eying my chips on the table- heavily.
    My contention is that the Polar Bear, in spite of it's greater mass, would be more likely to feel intimidation.

    If we assume the animals are "Motivated" in some factor that makes then both enraged at all costs, the bear would have several distinct advantages.

    Going with a Sleepy Gorilla and an enraged polar bear question, if we assume the gorilla remains sleepy (fat chance... what? Drowsy medication to keep it that way?) then all cards are on the polar bear.
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  13. #12  
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    Quote Originally Posted by EndlessEndeavor View Post
    You're right... I concluded that terrain was the biggest factor. A gorilla may very well be intelligent enough to pick up/improvise a weapon out of his available resources, I'll equalize it... 75 degrees F in a vacant high school gym.
    You are indeed correct like most primates Gorillas are indeed capable of using primative tools. In general I wouldn't suppose a gorilla gets into a fight where it needs to use a weapon, but it could use clubbing type weapons such as sticks and rocks given its intelligence and thumbs and grasping hands. Also of interest here, most bears are actually quite cowardly and will back down from a fight, most expert advice is that if attacked by a bear punch it as hard as possible on it's nose, the most sensitive part of its body, and with luck it will back down. Though this is far from certain with polar bears, as they are actually the only animal species with an evolved stratergy for actually hunting humans. The point here is though they might back down, gorillas by contrast are far less likely to back down and will continue to fight to assert their dominance.
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  14. #13  
    Life-Size Nanoputian Flick Montana's Avatar
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    As a fan of comic books who has always asked, "Who would win ____ vs ____" I have a soft spot for this kind of question.

    Personally, I don't think a gorilla would have a shot. Polar bear has size, speed, more weapons, and a better defense. One swipe from their front limb would probably be enough to kill a gorilla. Remember, you're talking about an animal that is big and powerful enough to punch through ice to get at its prey.
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  15. #14  
    Malignant Pimple shlunka's Avatar
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    I suppose it depends on if the gorilla just happens to be a megaprimatus named Kong or not...
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  16. #15  
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    i would definitely go with the polar bear, though i will admit i've never seen or even read about a gorilla's fighting capabilities.
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  17. #16  
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    (Group)Psychology at its finest
    All that belongs to human understanding, in this deep ignorance and obscurity, is to be skeptical, or at least cautious; and not to admit of any hypothesis, whatsoever; much less, of any which is supported by no appearance of probability...Hume
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ascended View Post
    Also of interest here, most bears are actually quite cowardly and will back down from a fight, most expert advice is that if attacked by a bear punch it as hard as possible on it's nose, the most sensitive part of its body, and with luck it will back down.
    The point here is though they might back down, gorillas by contrast are far less likely to back down and will continue to fight to assert their dominance.
    Which is my point.
    In real life... I think it would be very unusual to actually get them to fight (and who would want to get them to do it?) as both would probably avoid the fight.
    But a Gorilla has more attitude and is more likely to intimidate the bear than the bear is the gorilla.
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  19. #18  
    Life-Size Nanoputian Flick Montana's Avatar
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    I don't know. If the polar bear reared up, a smart gorilla would head for the hills.
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  20. #19  
    Forum Freshman EndlessEndeavor's Avatar
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    There will be no running. This is a deathmatch. And these are just the semi-finals. Winner has to go on to face the lion, who easily defeated the wolf. After that, the championship.
    If at first you don't succeed, it wasn't meant to be. It's just a waste of time 'cause the unions just gonna take your money anyway, 'cause they jealous that we got an extra bone in our body that makes us smarter, but don't nobody in science care to acknowledge that, and you were an unwanted pregnancy, and you ruined my dirtbikin career, and get outta my sight you disgust me! You talking bout that one daddy?
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  21. #20  
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    Quote Originally Posted by EndlessEndeavor View Post
    Winner has to go on to face the lion, who easily defeated the wolf. After that, the championship.
    Lion vs bear = dead lion every time.

    It's been tested in real life.
    (And that was grizzly bears vs lions - a polar bear is bigger than a grizzly.)
    Last edited by RedPanda; March 28th, 2013 at 08:56 AM.
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  22. #21  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neverfly View Post
    With large fangs, powerful arms and excellent movement control, my chips lie with the Gorilla.
    It seems you are right: sleepy gorilla / pissed off polar bear - Google Fight : make this fight with Googlefight !
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  23. #22  
    Forum Masters Degree mat5592's Avatar
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    i'm going to take the lion in the championship over either of the two. i've seen them take out a lot of things pretty easily. very quick, and if it gets its jaws on the prey's neck it's over.
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  24. #23  
    Forum Masters Degree mat5592's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RedPanda View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by EndlessEndeavor View Post
    Winner has to go on to face the lion, who easily defeated the wolf. After that, the championship.
    Lion vs bear = dead lion every time.

    It's been tested in real life.
    in that case, i'm going with the bear over the gorilla for sure.
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  25. #24  
    Life-Size Nanoputian Flick Montana's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Strange View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Neverfly View Post
    With large fangs, powerful arms and excellent movement control, my chips lie with the Gorilla.
    It seems you are right: sleepy gorilla / pissed off polar bear - Google Fight : make this fight with Googlefight !
    I don't know...they said a polar bear wins against Darkseid as well...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flick Montana View Post
    I don't know. If the polar bear reared up, a smart gorilla would head for the hills.
    Smart being a relative measure...
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  27. #26  
    Malignant Pimple shlunka's Avatar
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    Wait, this is a real contest? Where do I sign up? I want a piece of that polar bear.
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  28. #27  
    Genius Duck Dywyddyr's Avatar
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    Too late, the bear's dead.
    I used my RL nickname (the one I prefer over my given name) and trashed it completely.
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  29. #28  
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    Quote Originally Posted by mat5592 View Post
    i'm going to take the lion in the championship over either of the two. i've seen them take out a lot of things pretty easily. very quick, and if it gets its jaws on the prey's neck it's over.
    Actually lions have been made to fight bears by the Romans as entertainment, it's recorded that the bears usually win due to superior strength and the bite ability to bite the lions neck where as the lion is usually unable to bite the bears neck with enough force to disable it. This being said there have been several instances of hungry tigers managing to kill sloth bears.

    Be interesting to know the result of tag team matches, such as a gorilla and a crocodile versus a polar and a grizzly bear, or a leopard and a cheetah versus a hyena and wolf.
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  30. #29  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ascended View Post
    Actually lions have been made to fight bears by the Romans as entertainment, it's recorded that the bears usually win due to superior strength and the bite ability to bite the lions neck where as the lion is usually unable to bite the bears neck with enough force to disable it.
    Also by Californians during the Gold Rush.
    The lions have fragile skulls and the bears have big paws...
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  31. #30  
    Malignant Pimple shlunka's Avatar
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    Remember that a lion is an ambush predator, should the fighting take place in the wild "however that could possibly occur" the lion has a huge advantage and could be around the bear's neck before it'd even have time to say "rrrraarrrrbbbrrrr".
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  32. #31  
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    Quote Originally Posted by shlunka View Post
    Remember that a lion is an ambush predator, should the fighting take place in the wild "however that could possibly occur" the lion has a huge advantage
    Hey that's a good point the enviroment must surely be a big factor here, and lions usually attack as part of a group which makes them especially dangerous, saw a wildlife program where 3 lions were trying to jump on the back of a hippo that was trying to make it to the river, if there was only one lion the hippo would have probarbly just bitten it in half. But back to the op, I wouldn't fancy a gorillas chances it was stuck out on the polar ice and the polar bear attacked. But in the jungle a big powerful silver back could well have a fair chance.
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    Will you guys make up your minds? Sheesh...
    At first, I was all like... "Oh gorilla's" and then I was like, "Hmm you're right... I underestimate the bears massive size and power" and then I'm like, "But what if, like, the gorilla is enraged and the polar bear is like, majorly stoned on, like, some major mushrooms, man...?" and then I take into account each has different behavior desires and attitudes and then someone says, "Yeah, but what if the gorilla has an M-60 with back up artillery?"

    I will trounce you all.


    Hell with the Gorilla; c'mere,Ass.ended... I will show you what an ass-whoopin' looks like.
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  34. #33  
    ▼▼ dn ʎɐʍ sıɥʇ ▼▼ RedPanda's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shlunka View Post
    Remember that a lion is an ambush predator, should the fighting take place in the wild "however that could possibly occur"...
    Yeah - a lion would be waiting a looooong time before a polar bear walked past.
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  35. #34  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Strange View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Neverfly View Post
    With large fangs, powerful arms and excellent movement control, my chips lie with the Gorilla.
    It seems you are right: sleepy gorilla / pissed off polar bear - Google Fight : make this fight with Googlefight !
    I just looked at the previous fights on that, it had George Bush versus a Pretzel, seriously who comes up with these things lol.
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  36. #35  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flick Montana View Post
    As a fan of comic books who has always asked, "Who would win ____ vs ____" I have a soft spot for this kind of question.

    Personally, I don't think a gorilla would have a shot. Polar bear has size, speed, more weapons, and a better defense. One swipe from their front limb would probably be enough to kill a gorilla. Remember, you're talking about an animal that is big and powerful enough to punch through ice to get at its prey.

    I have to agree with this assessment. The polar bear has claws and they're plenty sharp. As far as I know, the skin of a gorilla isn't especially thick (someone could correct me on that if I'm wrong?)

    The gorilla might improvise a club, but the polar bear has so much mass to absorb blunt force attacks with I think the gorilla would need to hit very precisely and hit first.
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  37. #36  
    Forum Freshman EndlessEndeavor's Avatar
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    Feel free to continue discussing, but in my private " Pokemon aren't real, so I'll replace them with irrational fantasy battles" championship of 2013, so far the wolf has been defeated by the goldfish. I decided to nullify that victory because aquatic and terrestrial battles aren't fair. The wolf tried to snap at the goldfish, but ended up drowning in its bowl that was unethically deep. I had to imagine another wolf, and put it against a bobcat. Wolf wins--only to be defeated by the lion... And now the current consensus is that the lion has lost to the undefeated polar bear. Mr bear's final trial... A fully resurrected Utahraptor.
    If at first you don't succeed, it wasn't meant to be. It's just a waste of time 'cause the unions just gonna take your money anyway, 'cause they jealous that we got an extra bone in our body that makes us smarter, but don't nobody in science care to acknowledge that, and you were an unwanted pregnancy, and you ruined my dirtbikin career, and get outta my sight you disgust me! You talking bout that one daddy?
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