I enjoy torturing my partners. I change boyfriends a lot. At first, I try hard to make them fall for me and after that I just bored and then I make them think that they'll be nothing without me. Often until they will do everything for me, being crazy for me and sacrifice themselves. I even challenge one of my exes to slash their own hand with razor and I'm just happy when he did this for me. I try to take some stupid quizzes on internet and all of them say that I am psychopath. All the tests are completely easy to guess. Before I never thought I was a psycho but after took these tests I start think maybe I am. But I feel totally healthy. I feel nothing wrong with me. My only weakness is I am not good with emotion and empathy. I just have very little empathy and mostly when I feel some emotion, it just about me. For example when someone try to touch my privacy, I feel anger.When I was child, I go to psychologist once, and what I can tell is I can easily manipulate the psychologist and act like harmless child. I was a total bully at school. Everyone was afraid of me when I was child, even my own mother has no idea how to control me. She knows she can't. But when I grow up, I try to control this behavior and yeah, now I just use this manipulation to control guys. To make them fall over me and after that I just getting bored (mostly after 3-6 months), and I will dump them soon after I take everything they have. But even after breakup, they still look for me and fall hard for me.
And I really enjoy when I can make people so angry or emotional about something and that's because of me. I enjoy conflict with others, just to see their madness, how they loose their total control about themselves and start to act stupid because being angry. I cannot cry watching stupid drama or whatever that makes other cry. I often wonder why people start crying over stupid cinemas, I just can't understand why? I never fall in love and I don't want to.
for me, fall in love is just wasting time. Why should you be in love when I can get everything I want from guys even torturing their heart and physic without single piece of love?
I can have double personality. Back in school, I was really sweet student in front of teacher, very brilliant and smart, easy to act in stage (as an artist with different roles), but in front of my friends, I was the most evil friend they will ever have. I make fake personalities in job interviews based on interviewers.
I can somehow 'read people' minds. And I use that to behave according this impressions. And mostly I can manipulate many psychologists in job interviews. I did it just for fun. I can understand people emotion and read it and learn it and use it for my own advantages. But, I never feel their emotion. If this is not normal, what kind of psychologist should I see based on my experiences, I manipulate them easily?
I also got some almost sexual abuses back in past (the latest happened two weeks ago), but I face it very calm, I even play the emotion and passion of my sexual abusers until at the end they're giving up without even get any kind of sex activities with me. And I have no traumatic effect due to that experiences. And some people who knew this told me freak since I'm just okay with that.