Notices
Results 1 to 10 of 10
Like Tree1Likes
  • 1 Post By scheherazade

Thread: What effect do you think never being loved, or having found mutual love can have on someone's mental state over a lifetime?

  1. #1 What effect do you think never being loved, or having found mutual love can have on someone's mental state over a lifetime? 
    Suspended
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    97
    What effect do you think never being loved, or having found mutual love can have on someone's mental state over a lifetime?
    And do you think studies of this can have a useful purpose in understanding the human brain, and evolution?


    Reply With Quote  
     

  2.  
     

  3. #2  
    Forum Radioactive Isotope cosmictraveler's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Key West, Florida, Earth
    Posts
    4,788
    I wouldn't think it is very healthy. There are ways humans can give and get love from pets.


    When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.
    Jimi Hendrix
    Reply With Quote  
     

  4. #3  
    Moderator Moderator
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    city of wine and roses
    Posts
    6,222
    The most important aspect of love affecting an individual is how they were cared for as infants and as children. It doesn't guarantee that they'll live happily ever after if they had loving, competent parent/s nor that they're destined for unremitting misery if their parent/s were feckless or nasty, but it's certainly a good thing to start out on an emotionally even keel.
    "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." Winston Churchill
    "nature is like a game of Jenga; you never know which brick you pull out will cause the whole stack to collapse" Lucy Cooke
    Reply With Quote  
     

  5. #4  
    Northern Horse Whisperer Moderator scheherazade's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Yukon, Canada
    Posts
    4,066
    Scientific studies can actually demonstrate that the amount of early nurturing we receive influences the development of our brain and our capacity to receive and respond to emotional cues in later life.

    Brain images have now revealed that a motherís love physically affects the volume of her childís hippocampus. In the study, children of nurturing mothers had hippocampal volumes 10 percent larger than children whose mothers were not as nurturing. Research has suggested a link between a larger hippocampus and better memory.
    Numerous studies also have found that children raised in a nurturing environment typically do better in school and are more emotionally developed than their non-nurtured peers.
    How a Mother's Love Changes a Child's Brain | Child Development | Parenting & Children | LiveScience
    One beer likes this.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  6. #5  
    Forum Freshman
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    9
    Wouldn't the lack of love actually restrict your's brain access to dopamine and oxytocin , reducing the relaxing effects of this compounds and therefore having your life in constant residual stress therefore reducing your life span.

    BTW. Just guessing
    Reply With Quote  
     

  7. #6  
    Moderator Moderator
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    city of wine and roses
    Posts
    6,222
    Not if you have pet animals.

    Or if you work with children there are lots of awwww, isn't that sweet moments that give the same hormone impulses.
    "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." Winston Churchill
    "nature is like a game of Jenga; you never know which brick you pull out will cause the whole stack to collapse" Lucy Cooke
    Reply With Quote  
     

  8. #7  
    Forum Freshman
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    9
    Yeap. You're right, but that implies love, isn't necessary romantic love though.
    What would happen if you worked at an office, had no friends, and you had no pets, nor family, nor couple.
    I believe you'll die faster.
    See from the other people's angle and you'll see the mountain not just it's picture.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  9. #8  
    Moderator Moderator
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    city of wine and roses
    Posts
    6,222
    What would happen if you worked at an office, had no friends, and you had no pets, nor family, nor couple.
    Lawks! You'd have to go around with some sort of anti-friendship force field around you to have absolutely no one. I can see it happening if you worked from home and never attended meetings or met clients in person, though.

    Someone in this position should take the usual advice to volunteer at an animal rescue centre/ any other worthy local group or to join a sports club or a writing group or a theatre group that needs people to paint backdrops - anything at all really.

    And you're right. Most people with such a barren social/ emotional life are likely to die earlier than they would have if they had some kind of social or loving companionship - just something interesting to think about or talk about.
    "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." Winston Churchill
    "nature is like a game of Jenga; you never know which brick you pull out will cause the whole stack to collapse" Lucy Cooke
    Reply With Quote  
     

  10. #9  
    Forum Freshman hadams's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    14
    This is a really interesting question. The first thing that came to mind for me was a study I read about, where a Japanese scientist had three jars of rice. Each day (over an extended period of time - I can't remember how long precisely) he approached the first jar and told it that he loved it, that he would do anything for it, that it is special, and that it is his world.
    The second jar, received hate. He told it that he wished it hadn't existed, that he was angry with it, that he wished it would die.
    The third jar, he completely ignored.

    The results were amazing. Apparently the first jar (love), had fermented at a normal rate; a fermentation from which you could make things like saki. The second jar (hate), had completely rotted. It was useless. The third jar (indifference), had turned completely black.

    Whether or not this is actually true, I think it provides a wonderful metaphor. The worst thing you could do to a person is show indifference. It's worse than hate. At least with hate, the person on the receiving end is being acknowledged. To make somebody feel like their existence means nothing is the worst thing you could do (you can see it in microcosms like 'the silent treatment', or when you smile at someone on the street and they do not even look at you). It is so important to be acknowledged. Just to have someone nod at you to say, "I see you."

    I also read a study that suggested that ideas/emotions like 'love' and 'friendship' actually come from more primitive sources. Think of when you ask somebody to be your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife and they say no. That feeling you get, of rejection, is actually your instincts reacting to a survival mechanism. As humans we have always traveled in packs because we survive and advance better that way. When you're asking someone to be your partner, you're asking for that same companionship ("Let's survive together"). When they say no, you get the same emotional response that says,
    "You're alone. You have to survive alone." That's why it's such a feeling of dread, and that is why rejection on any is such a scary thing.

    So, to answer your question, it would have a profound effect on someone's developmental state simply on the premise that even if you didn't call it 'love', humans are supposed to survive together. We are not isolated creatures, with a few exceptions.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  11. #10  
    Forum Ph.D. Raziell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    927
    Unrequited love will wound you if it happens. But that wound can be healed.
    Unrequited love happening again and again after that will eventually scar your soul/mind with wounds that wont heal.

    You will suffer depression in the early stages, then hatefulness and eventually apathy and self destructiveness. You can also risk becomming a true misanthrope and not only hate yourself and individual people, but humanity itself.
    Source: Me. Been in love with 5 girls total in my life, none of them wanted me. But to be fair I also rejected alot of girls myself that I didnt love back.

    Anyway. When you reach the bottom of the abyss and peer into the dark lake of truth - you start to introspect yourself. Maybe the chemistry just wasnt there? Maybe you were in love with women way out of your league? Maybe you (I) am the problem? Why should anyone love you?

    At that point you start to realize you need to become someone worth loving. And that you should start to work on your goals in life and not be obsessed with chasing love. And hopefully that will lead to love just "happening" out of the blue one day.

    Unrequited love is a painful journey, but it leaves you stronger if you can learn from it. Surrender to that hate and selfpity and you destroy yourself.
    A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it. - David Stevens
    Reply With Quote  
     

Similar Threads

  1. breakdown of mutual respect
    By seagypsy in forum Behavior and Psychology
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: September 7th, 2013, 12:12 AM
  2. Most tragic love stories with unrequited love
    By Raziell in forum History
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: April 25th, 2011, 07:27 PM
  3. Effect of mental state on diseased
    By sushy_bhat in forum Biology
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: August 23rd, 2010, 04:16 PM
  4. Mutual occultation of minor planets
    By ricci70 in forum Astronomy & Cosmology
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: February 4th, 2010, 07:14 AM
Bookmarks
Bookmarks
Posting Permissions
  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •