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Thread: Am I depressed or just sad?

  1. #1 Am I depressed or just sad? 
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    So, I'm not really sure what you need to know, so ask what you need to. Only thing I can think of right now, is sometimes I get random bursts of sadness, and for no reason, or I forget the reason soon after.


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    I think most of us do feel like this (the bursts of sadness) once in a while. It'll be fine! As long as you don't do silly stuff. When you feel that, try doing something to take it away, perhaps reading a book, or the Jokes thread in the General Discussion section!


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    Well, it's possible that you're depressed. People tend to dismiss the teenage emotional roller-coaster as "just a phase", but even when it is that, it can be desperately miserable.

    If these feelings just come and go then you may not need to do anything about it. Learning to tolerate feelings of unhappiness or other negative emotions is part of maturing for most of us. What you do need to do is maybe to diarise it for a few weeks. Maybe 6 or 8 weeks. And also diarise your times of going to bed each night, every. single. night. (And going to bed means lights out, phone off, no tv, no music, no books.)

    It it turns out that you get miserable for a couple of days in some weeks towards the end of the week that might tell you something about your routine. Similarly if it comes on at predictable times of the day - like all those people who get grumpy or irritable or emotional later in the afternoons. That can usually be handled by changing your diet or your timing of meals or snacks. The other possibility is SAD. (Seasonal Affective Disorder.) If you find the sad feelings becoming fewer or less worrying as the days get longer as summer approaches, you should consider having a Vitamin D supplement during autumn and, especially, winter next year.

    But you might just be suffering from sleep deprivation. It's amazing how much sleep adolescents really need - and also - how much and how often they kid themselves about what time they go to bed and how much they sleep.

    use these figures as a guide and look for signs of sleep deprivation such as irritability, low mood, hyperactivity, sleepiness, poor attention span, craving sugary foods and short temperedness.
    Hours per day 12 - 18 14 - 15 12 - 15 11 - 13 9 - 11 8.5 - 9.5
    Source: Sleep Health Foundation
    See these two items about sleep. Explainer: Is your child getting enough sleep? - ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation) and Gal Science: Get Some Sleep


    You should also be able to see if there's any relationship between your episodes of sadness and anything in school, family, work life.

    And if the diary shows nothing useful to you and the feelings continue or worsen, you'll have a basis for talking to a counsellor or a doctor.

    (One thing I'd be careful of though. Unless the feelings are seriously affecting your life, I mean like not being able to get out of the house or out of bed affecting-your-life, I'd avoid any specific anti-depression medication for the time being. They're always available if things get a bit out of control, but they're a bad first option for someone of your age with an intermittent problem.)
    LuciDreaming and DianeG like this.
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    Quote Originally Posted by adelady View Post
    Well, it's possible that you're depressed. People tend to dismiss the teenage emotional roller-coaster as "just a phase", but even when it is that, it can be desperately miserable.

    If these feelings just come and go then you may not need to do anything about it. Learning to tolerate feelings of unhappiness or other negative emotions is part of maturing for most of us. What you do need to do is maybe to diarise it for a few weeks. Maybe 6 or 8 weeks. And also diarise your times of going to bed each night, every. single. night. (And going to bed means lights out, phone off, no tv, no music, no books.)

    It it turns out that you get miserable for a couple of days in some weeks towards the end of the week that might tell you something about your routine. Similarly if it comes on at predictable times of the day - like all those people who get grumpy or irritable or emotional later in the afternoons. That can usually be handled by changing your diet or your timing of meals or snacks. The other possibility is SAD. (Seasonal Affective Disorder.) If you find the sad feelings becoming fewer or less worrying as the days get longer as summer approaches, you should consider having a Vitamin D supplement during autumn and, especially, winter next year.

    But you might just be suffering from sleep deprivation. It's amazing how much sleep adolescents really need - and also - how much and how often they kid themselves about what time they go to bed and how much they sleep.

    use these figures as a guide and look for signs of sleep deprivation such as irritability, low mood, hyperactivity, sleepiness, poor attention span, craving sugary foods and short temperedness.
    Hours per day 12 - 18 14 - 15 12 - 15 11 - 13 9 - 11 8.5 - 9.5

    Source: Sleep Health Foundation
    See these two items about sleep. Explainer: Is your child getting enough sleep? - ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation) and Gal Science: Get Some Sleep


    You should also be able to see if there's any relationship between your episodes of sadness and anything in school, family, work life.

    And if the diary shows nothing useful to you and the feelings continue or worsen, you'll have a basis for talking to a counsellor or a doctor.

    (One thing I'd be careful of though. Unless the feelings are seriously affecting your life, I mean like not being able to get out of the house or out of bed affecting-your-life, I'd avoid any specific anti-depression medication for the time being. They're always available if things get a bit out of control, but they're a bad first option for someone of your age with an intermittent problem.)
    Ok, I actually get random bursts of sadness, when I remember I work. Today I worked, but I had a really good day. I was actually looking forwards to work. And, during school, if I thought about work, I didn't get sad at all. But, I did cut myself yesterday. I don't know if I am feeling happy from this, but there hasn't been anything else in my day that would have made me happy. I met someone new, but I was happy before that.
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    Weterman, if you are engaging in self mutilation, then you must seek urgent assistance. Since you do not seem to have a constant, overwhelming feeling or a specific source of unhappiness, you may have a mood disorder. In this case, a person's feelings about various things frequently change for no apparent reason, and there is no particular marker of comfort or discomfort. This scenario is very similar to what you are describing. I recommend talking to an adolescent psychologist who might be able to help you explore your bout. Adelady is right: pychotropic drugs should be reserved for severe cases. Some people with mood disorders improve with therapy alone, so give this a try before heading to a psychiatrist for medication.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theresa View Post
    Weterman, if you are engaging in self mutilation, then you must seek urgent assistance. Since you do not seem to have a constant, overwhelming feeling or a specific source of unhappiness, you may have a mood disorder. In this case, a person's feelings about various things frequently change for no apparent reason, and there is no particular marker of comfort or discomfort. This scenario is very similar to what you are describing. I recommend talking to an adolescent psychologist who might be able to help you explore your bout. Adelady is right: pychotropic drugs should be reserved for severe cases. Some people with mood disorders improve with therapy alone, so give this a try before heading to a psychiatrist for medication.
    What is it about cutting myself that is so bad, that I need help?
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    What is it about cutting myself that is so bad, that I need help?
    Unless the cut is an accident with a kitchen or craft knife, it's generally called self-harm.

    If that's what you're talking about, I think Theresa's suggestion of a therapist who specialises in counselling adolescents is an excellent one.
    "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." Winston Churchill
    "nature is like a game of Jenga; you never know which brick you pull out will cause the whole stack to collapse" Lucy Cooke
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    Quote Originally Posted by Weterman View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Theresa View Post
    Weterman, if you are engaging in self mutilation, then you must seek urgent assistance. Since you do not seem to have a constant, overwhelming feeling or a specific source of unhappiness, you may have a mood disorder. In this case, a person's feelings about various things frequently change for no apparent reason, and there is no particular marker of comfort or discomfort. This scenario is very similar to what you are describing. I recommend talking to an adolescent psychologist who might be able to help you explore your bout. Adelady is right: pychotropic drugs should be reserved for severe cases. Some people with mood disorders improve with therapy alone, so give this a try before heading to a psychiatrist for medication.
    What is it about cutting myself that is so bad, that I need help?
    Some tribes did it as a sign of bravery.
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    Some tribes did it as a sign of bravery.
    For goodness sake, pull yourself together.

    Equating stupid, public, macho contests in unrelated cultures and communities to this kind of private problem is not just daft, it's dangerous.

    Cut it out.
    "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." Winston Churchill
    "nature is like a game of Jenga; you never know which brick you pull out will cause the whole stack to collapse" Lucy Cooke
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    Quote Originally Posted by adelady View Post
    Some tribes did it as a sign of bravery.
    For goodness sake, pull yourself together.

    Equating stupid, public, macho contests in unrelated cultures and communities to this kind of private problem is not just daft, it's dangerous.

    Cut it out.
    I actually thought it might help.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robittybob1 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by adelady View Post
    Some tribes did it as a sign of bravery.
    For goodness sake, pull yourself together.

    Equating stupid, public, macho contests in unrelated cultures and communities to this kind of private problem is not just daft, it's dangerous.

    Cut it out.
    I actually thought it might help.
    Telling someone that their self-mutilation is brave? In what possible mindset could you be that you would think that is a helpful thing to say?

    If someone is causing themselves physical harm they need to be told that their actions are abnormal and they need to seek help.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flick Montana View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Robittybob1 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by adelady View Post
    Some tribes did it as a sign of bravery.
    For goodness sake, pull yourself together.

    Equating stupid, public, macho contests in unrelated cultures and communities to this kind of private problem is not just daft, it's dangerous.

    Cut it out.
    I actually thought it might help.
    Telling someone that their self-mutilation is brave? In what possible mindset could you be that you would think that is a helpful thing to say?

    If someone is causing themselves physical harm they need to be told that their actions are abnormal and they need to seek help.
    A lot of sports are involving extreme danger too. There was a clip on Speedway racing - no gears and no brakes, and the champion listed all his injuries, just the broken bones, came to more than 20. Cuts and scratches would be uncountable.
    As I drove home last night thinking what that must feel like - one mistake and you're into the wall with no way of stopping other than keeping your motorbike sliding. That is brave or is it bloody stupid?
    I think this was the guy for he had tats all over him.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tai_Woffinden
    W
    atch this and see what I mean.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1R30k2chFk There are some good examples in there.
    Last edited by Robittybob1; March 21st, 2014 at 11:14 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by adelady View Post
    What is it about cutting myself that is so bad, that I need help?
    Unless the cut is an accident with a kitchen or craft knife, it's generally called self-harm.

    If that's what you're talking about, I think Theresa's suggestion of a therapist who specialises in counselling adolescents is an excellent one.
    I suspect the kid is trolling the adults.

    A number of his OPs are self-centered.
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    That is brave or is it bloody stupid?
    It's both. It's also a common feature of the behaviour of young men in many cultures of the world. It's yet another of those very public demonstrations and contests of physical strength and/or skill and/or capacity to deal with pain.

    Nothing like what's under discussion here. Nothing.

    I said it before. Cut it out.
    "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." Winston Churchill
    "nature is like a game of Jenga; you never know which brick you pull out will cause the whole stack to collapse" Lucy Cooke
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    I suspect the kid is trolling the adults.

    A number of his OPs are self-centered.
    Yeah, well. He's a kid. It's part of the territory.

    My view is that even if he's winding us up for his own stupid reasons, we should treat it seriously. We don't know who else might be reading the thread. And good advice is good advice, even if it's initially directed at someone who doesn't need it.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Weterman View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Theresa View Post
    Weterman, if you are engaging in self mutilation, then you must seek urgent assistance. Since you do not seem to have a constant, overwhelming feeling or a specific source of unhappiness, you may have a mood disorder. In this case, a person's feelings about various things frequently change for no apparent reason, and there is no particular marker of comfort or discomfort. This scenario is very similar to what you are describing. I recommend talking to an adolescent psychologist who might be able to help you explore your bout. Adelady is right: pychotropic drugs should be reserved for severe cases. Some people with mood disorders improve with therapy alone, so give this a try before heading to a psychiatrist for medication.
    What is it about cutting myself that is so bad, that I need help?
    Weterman, self-mutilation is usually a response to outside stressors and internal conflicting emotions, such as anxiety and depression. It may temporarily improve the way one feels, but it is not a solution to the emotional problem and it causes physical damage, which can get severe. I strongly recommend that you get psychological help if you are engaging in this.

    FWIW,
    Clarissa
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    Quote Originally Posted by adelady View Post
    I suspect the kid is trolling the adults.

    A number of his OPs are self-centered.
    Yeah, well. He's a kid. It's part of the territory.

    [part 2] My view is that even if he's winding us up for his own stupid reasons, we should treat it seriously. We don't know who else might be reading the thread. And good advice is good advice, even if it's initially directed at someone who doesn't need it.
    Im in total agreement with [part 2] of your comment.

    I just wanted to let Weterman know about my initial impression of suspicion,

    over his tone of faux navet in his question.
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    Quote Originally Posted by adelady View Post
    Well, it's possible that you're depressed. People tend to dismiss the teenage emotional roller-coaster as "just a phase", but even when it is that, it can be desperately miserable.

    If these feelings just come and go then you may not need to do anything about it. Learning to tolerate feelings of unhappiness or other negative emotions is part of maturing for most of us. What you do need to do is maybe to diarise it for a few weeks. Maybe 6 or 8 weeks. And also diarise your times of going to bed each night, every. single. night. (And going to bed means lights out, phone off, no tv, no music, no books.)

    It it turns out that you get miserable for a couple of days in some weeks towards the end of the week that might tell you something about your routine. Similarly if it comes on at predictable times of the day - like all those people who get grumpy or irritable or emotional later in the afternoons. That can usually be handled by changing your diet or your timing of meals or snacks. The other possibility is SAD. (Seasonal Affective Disorder.) If you find the sad feelings becoming fewer or less worrying as the days get longer as summer approaches, you should consider having a Vitamin D supplement during autumn and, especially, winter next year.

    But you might just be suffering from sleep deprivation. It's amazing how much sleep adolescents really need - and also - how much and how often they kid themselves about what time they go to bed and how much they sleep.

    use these figures as a guide and look for signs of sleep deprivation such as irritability, low mood, hyperactivity, sleepiness, poor attention span, craving sugary foods and short temperedness.
    Hours per day 12 - 18 14 - 15 12 - 15 11 - 13 9 - 11 8.5 - 9.5

    Source: Sleep Health Foundation
    See these two items about sleep. Explainer: Is your child getting enough sleep? - ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation) and Gal Science: Get Some Sleep


    You should also be able to see if there's any relationship between your episodes of sadness and anything in school, family, work life.

    And if the diary shows nothing useful to you and the feelings continue or worsen, you'll have a basis for talking to a counsellor or a doctor.

    (One thing I'd be careful of though. Unless the feelings are seriously affecting your life, I mean like not being able to get out of the house or out of bed affecting-your-life, I'd avoid any specific anti-depression medication for the time being. They're always available if things get a bit out of control, but they're a bad first option for someone of your age with an intermittent problem.)
    Just to add to what Adelady has said, you should look if there is anything lurking in terms of emotional stress that you have not properly addressed. These things have a way of popping up out of the blue and you cannot understand why.
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    Look what I found... Catholic Bullying

    Chock full of anxiety.

    The anxiety is the root of the intermittent depression/sadness.

    @ Weterman: Whether you're trolling here or not,
    Get into a routine of exercise/aerobics: Brisk walk, bike ride, lift weights.

    Physical fitness will make you feel better and look better, then think clearer.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ToThePoint View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by adelady View Post
    What is it about cutting myself that is so bad, that I need help?
    Unless the cut is an accident with a kitchen or craft knife, it's generally called self-harm.

    If that's what you're talking about, I think Theresa's suggestion of a therapist who specialises in counselling adolescents is an excellent one.
    I suspect the kid is trolling the adults.

    A number of his OPs are self-centered.
    If he is, then he's welcome to have a laugh at my expense. If he isn't, he needs help.

    I'm not going to pretend I have a soft spot for the guy, but you don't just rest on your laurels if there is a chance that another human being is harming themselves or others. Maybe it's a grab for attention, maybe he's serious. I don't have any way to know. Best thing is to treat it like a serious matter and recommend the kid speak to his parents or another adult and consider getting the help he needs (medical, spiritual, or otherwise).

    I had two friends who killed themselves in high school and, if there is ONE thing I learned from them, it's that the people who need help are the people who never ask for it.
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    Quote Originally Posted by DogLady View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Weterman View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Theresa View Post
    Weterman, if you are engaging in self mutilation, then you must seek urgent assistance. Since you do not seem to have a constant, overwhelming feeling or a specific source of unhappiness, you may have a mood disorder. In this case, a person's feelings about various things frequently change for no apparent reason, and there is no particular marker of comfort or discomfort. This scenario is very similar to what you are describing. I recommend talking to an adolescent psychologist who might be able to help you explore your bout. Adelady is right: pychotropic drugs should be reserved for severe cases. Some people with mood disorders improve with therapy alone, so give this a try before heading to a psychiatrist for medication.
    What is it about cutting myself that is so bad, that I need help?
    Weterman, self-mutilation is usually a response to outside stressors and internal conflicting emotions, such as anxiety and depression. It may temporarily improve the way one feels, but it is not a solution to the emotional problem and it causes physical damage, which can get severe. I strongly recommend that you get psychological help if you are engaging in this.

    FWIW,
    Clarissa
    It is pretty hard to "get help" though. Someone that I do not know, told a teacher in my school that I was doing this for attention. I am not. But the school now told my parrents. My mom is mad and yelling at me. My Dad isn't mad.

    Getting other people that think they know what I'm going through to talk to me, is the worst thing. They think they know. "he is cutting himself because he is sad. what is he said about?" "he says nothing. he just doesnt want to share. ill keep him in this system until he tells me. then i will tell him not to do anything bad and then im done."
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    And if you think of the health triangle.

    Mental, Social, and Physical health.

    My mental health is low.

    My physical health is medium

    my social health is medium.


    I cut myself, and my physical health goes down a bit.

    But my mental health goes up all the way.
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    I cut myself, and my physical health goes down a bit.

    But my mental health goes up all the way.
    Sorry. That's not your mental "health" going up "all the way". That's your mood.

    In fact, that's almost a classic description of how and why people who self-harm go about it.

    If your mum's yelling about it, you can't talk to her - at least for the time being. What about your dad? Would he take you to a clinic/ doctor/ counsellor if you suggested it to him?

    Seeing as you're under 20, you could use the free phone service in Canada. It's free, they're professionals, it's on the phone or on-line Kids Help Phone Org | 1-800-668-6868
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    Quote Originally Posted by Weterman View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by DogLady View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Weterman View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Theresa View Post
    Weterman, if you are engaging in self mutilation, then you must seek urgent assistance. Since you do not seem to have a constant, overwhelming feeling or a specific source of unhappiness, you may have a mood disorder. In this case, a person's feelings about various things frequently change for no apparent reason, and there is no particular marker of comfort or discomfort. This scenario is very similar to what you are describing. I recommend talking to an adolescent psychologist who might be able to help you explore your bout. Adelady is right: pychotropic drugs should be reserved for severe cases. Some people with mood disorders improve with therapy alone, so give this a try before heading to a psychiatrist for medication.
    What is it about cutting myself that is so bad, that I need help?
    Weterman, self-mutilation is usually a response to outside stressors and internal conflicting emotions, such as anxiety and depression. It may temporarily improve the way one feels, but it is not a solution to the emotional problem and it causes physical damage, which can get severe. I strongly recommend that you get psychological help if you are engaging in this.

    FWIW,
    Clarissa
    It is pretty hard to "get help" though. Someone that I do not know, told a teacher in my school that I was doing this for attention. I am not. But the school now told my parrents. My mom is mad and yelling at me. My Dad isn't mad.

    Getting other people that think they know what I'm going through to talk to me, is the worst thing. They think they know. "he is cutting himself because he is sad. what is he said about?" "he says nothing. he just doesnt want to share. ill keep him in this system until he tells me. then i will tell him not to do anything bad and then im done."
    I find this very interesting Water Man, I would like to ask you this, why is your mom yelling at you? why is your father not yelling at you? What kind or relationship do you have with your parents? If you find my questions too inquisitive, you do not have to answer them.
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    Quote Originally Posted by adelady View Post
    I cut myself, and my physical health goes down a bit.

    But my mental health goes up all the way.
    Sorry. That's not your mental "health" going up "all the way". That's your mood.
    It may be that cutting gives you some chemical release that you're not getting from normal activity. Depression and other mood disorders are multi-faceted and require a professional to properly diagnose. The important thing is that you recognize something is wrong and seek help. Adelady made a good suggestion, but you have to work up the courage to actually take action.
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    I find this very interesting Water Man, I would like to ask you this, why is your mom yelling at you? why is your father not yelling at you? What kind or relationship do you have with your parents? If you find my questions too inquisitive, you do not have to answer them.
    I doubt very much he knows. Anyone who needs to cut to feel better is not in a good position to judge their own or anyone else's emotional state.

    I quite understand his mum yelling at him. She's scared witless. She's frustrated because she doesn't know how to solve the problem. She feels that her family is entirely out of her control/ beyond her understanding. She's got no idea what she might or might not be able to do about it. She doesn't know whether to yell or cry or throw things or call someone ... who would she call anyway. Emotionally, she's just rushing about pointlessly.

    Dad might be a quiet person anyway. He might be feeling the same kind of things as mum, but she's in the 'fight' mode of fight, flight or freeze just now, he may not be in 'freeze' mode but doesn't know what to say to make anything better anyway.

    I don't know how many parents you know whose children have had any kind of mental health issues, but it's hell on wheels for the ones I've known.
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    Quote Originally Posted by adelady View Post
    I find this very interesting Water Man, I would like to ask you this, why is your mom yelling at you? why is your father not yelling at you? What kind or relationship do you have with your parents? If you find my questions too inquisitive, you do not have to answer them.
    I doubt very much he knows. Anyone who needs to cut to feel better is not in a good position to judge their own or anyone else's emotional state.

    I quite understand his mum yelling at him. She's scared witless. She's frustrated because she doesn't know how to solve the problem. She feels that her family is entirely out of her control/ beyond her understanding. She's got no idea what she might or might not be able to do about it. She doesn't know whether to yell or cry or throw things or call someone ... who would she call anyway. Emotionally, she's just rushing about pointlessly.

    Dad might be a quiet person anyway. He might be feeling the same kind of things as mum, but she's in the 'fight' mode of fight, flight or freeze just now, he may not be in 'freeze' mode but doesn't know what to say to make anything better anyway.

    I don't know how many parents you know whose children have had any kind of mental health issues, but it's hell on wheels for the ones I've known.
    Adelady, I have discovered that most or all of the people I come in contact with with such problems stem from something buried in the parent hood relationship. I admit it is sometimes very difficult to find but it is almost always hidden someplace in childhood. I think a great part of the problem is, what are, or were the problems with mom and dad when the child was created. Some parents live strange lives and pass it on to their offspring.
    Children take on subliminal messages, if no one notices something is wrong they grow and create severe problems. Parent hood is the test of life, you are asked to produce a PhD when you had no instruction Manuel but from the experience you gathered in family life. Just as in getting old, when you are young you see older people struggling but you cannot imagine what they are going through. In some cases as a teenager you have a colossal problem convincing a grown up that something out of the ordinary is wrong.
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    That's all very well, but this kind of forum is the very last place we should ask people these kinds of quasi-therapeutic questions.

    Especially not when it is absolutely clear that the person you're addressing needs some kind of professional help.

    Neither you nor I have any way of knowing what's going on inside this person's head nor in their life nor what has happened in their past. And it is totally inappropriate to ask.

    For all any of us know, this is just a passing phase with a silly kid doing silly dangerous stuff much like other silly dangerous things kids might do. It. is. equally. likely. that this is something that could be quite serious, and for a whole lot of reasons which are none of our business.

    If the person you're addressing this stuff to is sort of using this forum as a way of letting off steam or trying out his thoughts before he gets to talk to someone away from the keyboard, that's OK. We can do the adult thing and just listen. What we don't do is play armchair psychologist.

    But we don't push, we don't pry, we don't presume to understand what he's going through. And we certainly don't sit back and meditate idly on the various influences that give rise to mental health problems. That might be appropriate at other times on other threads - when we're not dealing with a real live individual with real live problems. Not here. Not now.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flick Montana View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by adelady View Post
    I cut myself, and my physical health goes down a bit.

    But my mental health goes up all the way.
    Sorry. That's not your mental "health" going up "all the way". That's your mood.
    It may be that cutting gives you some chemical release that you're not getting from normal activity. Depression and other mood disorders are multi-faceted and require a professional to properly diagnose. The important thing is that you recognize something is wrong and seek help. Adelady made a good suggestion, but you have to work up the courage to actually take action.
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    Quote Originally Posted by adelady View Post
    I cut myself, and my physical health goes down a bit.

    But my mental health goes up all the way.
    Sorry. That's not your mental "health" going up "all the way". That's your mood.

    In fact, that's almost a classic description of how and why people who self-harm go about it.

    If your mum's yelling about it, you can't talk to her - at least for the time being. What about your dad? Would he take you to a clinic/ doctor/ counsellor if you suggested it to him?

    Seeing as you're under 20, you could use the free phone service in Canada. It's free, they're professionals, it's on the phone or on-line Kids Help Phone Org | 1-800-668-6868
    My school says they are going to set up councelling for me, which is the last thing I need. I don't want someone I don't know to tell me what to do. I didn't ask here about cutting myself, I asked if I have depression.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stargate View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Weterman View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by DogLady View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Weterman View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Theresa View Post
    Weterman, if you are engaging in self mutilation, then you must seek urgent assistance. Since you do not seem to have a constant, overwhelming feeling or a specific source of unhappiness, you may have a mood disorder. In this case, a person's feelings about various things frequently change for no apparent reason, and there is no particular marker of comfort or discomfort. This scenario is very similar to what you are describing. I recommend talking to an adolescent psychologist who might be able to help you explore your bout. Adelady is right: pychotropic drugs should be reserved for severe cases. Some people with mood disorders improve with therapy alone, so give this a try before heading to a psychiatrist for medication.
    What is it about cutting myself that is so bad, that I need help?
    Weterman, self-mutilation is usually a response to outside stressors and internal conflicting emotions, such as anxiety and depression. It may temporarily improve the way one feels, but it is not a solution to the emotional problem and it causes physical damage, which can get severe. I strongly recommend that you get psychological help if you are engaging in this.

    FWIW,
    Clarissa
    It is pretty hard to "get help" though. Someone that I do not know, told a teacher in my school that I was doing this for attention. I am not. But the school now told my parrents. My mom is mad and yelling at me. My Dad isn't mad.

    Getting other people that think they know what I'm going through to talk to me, is the worst thing. They think they know. "he is cutting himself because he is sad. what is he said about?" "he says nothing. he just doesnt want to share. ill keep him in this system until he tells me. then i will tell him not to do anything bad and then im done."
    I find this very interesting Water Man, I would like to ask you this, why is your mom yelling at you? why is your father not yelling at you? What kind or relationship do you have with your parents? If you find my questions too inquisitive, you do not have to answer them.
    My mom gets mad easy and is over protective of me. My Dad isn't.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stargate View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by adelady View Post
    I find this very interesting Water Man, I would like to ask you this, why is your mom yelling at you? why is your father not yelling at you? What kind or relationship do you have with your parents? If you find my questions too inquisitive, you do not have to answer them.
    I doubt very much he knows. Anyone who needs to cut to feel better is not in a good position to judge their own or anyone else's emotional state.

    I quite understand his mum yelling at him. She's scared witless. She's frustrated because she doesn't know how to solve the problem. She feels that her family is entirely out of her control/ beyond her understanding. She's got no idea what she might or might not be able to do about it. She doesn't know whether to yell or cry or throw things or call someone ... who would she call anyway. Emotionally, she's just rushing about pointlessly.

    Dad might be a quiet person anyway. He might be feeling the same kind of things as mum, but she's in the 'fight' mode of fight, flight or freeze just now, he may not be in 'freeze' mode but doesn't know what to say to make anything better anyway.

    I don't know how many parents you know whose children have had any kind of mental health issues, but it's hell on wheels for the ones I've known.
    Adelady, I have discovered that most or all of the people I come in contact with with such problems stem from something buried in the parent hood relationship. I admit it is sometimes very difficult to find but it is almost always hidden someplace in childhood. I think a great part of the problem is, what are, or were the problems with mom and dad when the child was created. Some parents live strange lives and pass it on to their offspring.
    Children take on subliminal messages, if no one notices something is wrong they grow and create severe problems. Parent hood is the test of life, you are asked to produce a PhD when you had no instruction Manuel but from the experience you gathered in family life. Just as in getting old, when you are young you see older people struggling but you cannot imagine what they are going through. In some cases as a teenager you have a colossal problem convincing a grown up that something out of the ordinary is wrong.
    I don't think that is right, in my case. I never knew I was sad. I just hated my job, and had random bursts of sadness. I forgot what happy was. I cut myself for fun, and the next day I felt awesome. So I cut myself today again to feel like that.
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    Quote Originally Posted by adelady View Post
    That's all very well, but this kind of forum is the very last place we should ask people these kinds of quasi-therapeutic questions.

    Especially not when it is absolutely clear that the person you're addressing needs some kind of professional help.

    Neither you nor I have any way of knowing what's going on inside this person's head nor in their life nor what has happened in their past. And it is totally inappropriate to ask.

    For all any of us know, this is just a passing phase with a silly kid doing silly dangerous stuff much like other silly dangerous things kids might do. It. is. equally. likely. that this is something that could be quite serious, and for a whole lot of reasons which are none of our business.

    If the person you're addressing this stuff to is sort of using this forum as a way of letting off steam or trying out his thoughts before he gets to talk to someone away from the keyboard, that's OK. We can do the adult thing and just listen. What we don't do is play armchair psychologist.

    But we don't push, we don't pry, we don't presume to understand what he's going through. And we certainly don't sit back and meditate idly on the various influences that give rise to mental health problems. That might be appropriate at other times on other threads - when we're not dealing with a real live individual with real live problems. Not here. Not now.
    Your point is well taken.
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    I don't think that is right, in my case. I never knew I was sad. I just hated my job, and had random bursts of sadness. I forgot what happy was. I cut myself for fun, and the next day I felt awesome. So I cut myself today again to feel like that.
    And that's no way to live your life.

    I'd really really like you to call those people at the helpline. It'll cost you nothing more than a bit of your time and they might be able to guide you towards feeling better without cutting. They've certainly had a lot of experience of people who do this, even if those people are different from you in other ways. So you won't be shocking them, or getting yelled at, or anything like that. And they're the right kind of people to work out, or to help you work out for yourself, what might be contributing to the sad feelings in the first place.

    We certainly can't do much for you in that respect. But we would like you to feel happier and more in control of your emotional stability.
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    Quote Originally Posted by adelady View Post
    I don't think that is right, in my case. I never knew I was sad. I just hated my job, and had random bursts of sadness. I forgot what happy was. I cut myself for fun, and the next day I felt awesome. So I cut myself today again to feel like that.
    And that's no way to live your life.

    I'd really really like you to call those people at the helpline. It'll cost you nothing more than a bit of your time and they might be able to guide you towards feeling better without cutting. They've certainly had a lot of experience of people who do this, even if those people are different from you in other ways. So you won't be shocking them, or getting yelled at, or anything like that. And they're the right kind of people to work out, or to help you work out for yourself, what might be contributing to the sad feelings in the first place.

    We certainly can't do much for you in that respect. But we would like you to feel happier and more in control of your emotional stability.
    I just don't want to talk to people I don't know about cutting myself. I talk to certain friends about it, and that's it.

    Now back on topic, am I depressed?
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    I just don't want to talk to people I don't know about cutting myself.
    You've managed to talk to us about it a little bit - and you didn't know anything about how we might respond.

    You can't get to know anyone until you've talked to them - on the phone or online.

    There's no need to raise the cutting issue right out of the gate. You can start off just by talking about your feelings and how the sadness seems to come on without warning. They're quite capable of talking you through that. I have no idea what these people do nor how they do it. For all I know you could come across someone with a brilliant, startling insight into that issue and you can work on that with them without ever mentioning the cutting.

    Whether you talk only about your feelings or directly about the cutting, talk to them. They'll listen and they're very likely to be able to help.

    Now back on topic, am I depressed?
    Very likely, it's quite common in adolescents, but it might be some form of anxiety or some combination of the two. I have no way of knowing.

    All I know is that you suffer from occasional episodes of overwhelming sadness and the statistics tell us that about 10% of people are suffering some sort of depressive issue at any one time. Far more than that have suffered from depression or anxiety at some time in their lives. Depression and anxiety are far and away the most common mental health problems.

    But I'm not a medical professional and if I, or anyone else here, were a suitably qualified professional we'd not advise you online anyway. It's entirely possible that, even if depression was a correct diagnosis, it would need further examination and testing to ensure that it wasn't related to another underlying physical or mental health problem. Those could include anything from simple Vitamin D deficiency to a thyroid or similar endocrine problem all the way through to major illness requiring serious treatment. Or half a dozen phone consultations with a sympathetic counsellor could be all you need.

    You can't diagnose yourself. And the cutting indicates that you can't deal with it effectively yourself. Get some straightforward help - and if you don't want to involve your family in clinic or doctor appointments right now, a free phone-based counselling service looks like a good start.
    "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." Winston Churchill
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    Quote Originally Posted by adelady View Post
    I just don't want to talk to people I don't know about cutting myself.
    You've managed to talk to us about it a little bit - and you didn't know anything about how we might respond.

    You can't get to know anyone until you've talked to them - on the phone or online.

    There's no need to raise the cutting issue right out of the gate. You can start off just by talking about your feelings and how the sadness seems to come on without warning. They're quite capable of talking you through that. I have no idea what these people do nor how they do it. For all I know you could come across someone with a brilliant, startling insight into that issue and you can work on that with them without ever mentioning the cutting.

    Whether you talk only about your feelings or directly about the cutting, talk to them. They'll listen and they're very likely to be able to help.

    Now back on topic, am I depressed?
    Very likely, it's quite common in adolescents, but it might be some form of anxiety or some combination of the two. I have no way of knowing.

    All I know is that you suffer from occasional episodes of overwhelming sadness and the statistics tell us that about 10% of people are suffering some sort of depressive issue at any one time. Far more than that have suffered from depression or anxiety at some time in their lives. Depression and anxiety are far and away the most common mental health problems.

    But I'm not a medical professional and if I, or anyone else here, were a suitably qualified professional we'd not advise you online anyway. It's entirely possible that, even if depression was a correct diagnosis, it would need further examination and testing to ensure that it wasn't related to another underlying physical or mental health problem. Those could include anything from simple Vitamin D deficiency to a thyroid or similar endocrine problem all the way through to major illness requiring serious treatment. Or half a dozen phone consultations with a sympathetic counsellor could be all you need.

    You can't diagnose yourself. And the cutting indicates that you can't deal with it effectively yourself. Get some straightforward help - and if you don't want to involve your family in clinic or doctor appointments right now, a free phone-based counselling service looks like a good start.
    Thanks, but I will just talk to my friends about it. I hope my school doesn't force me into counselling.
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    Thanks, but I will just talk to my friends about it. I hope my school doesn't force me into counselling.
    If your friends get more worried about you, they might ask a teacher or someone at your church or your family to do something to help you without you knowing anything about it. I know if I was your friend and I got worried about an issue like this, I might ask a responsible adult to take action that I couldn't take. And because they don't really know what's troubling you, they could accidentally pick on exactly the wrong person/ organisation from your point of view.

    As for "forced into counselling". Far better to take control yourself and make your own choice of advice, or guidance, or counselling service. But if you can't do that for yourself and you can't improve your mental health by yourself. eventually someone or some organisation will take over for you. Considering how much you dislike the school's approach to other things, you might like to forestall their intervention by doing something yourself.

    I realise that the thought of taking any action at all might be too hard to deal with. That's one of the biggest problems that depressed and/or anxious people have. They get sort of paralysed into inaction. But if this continues, someone will take action. It might be you - and that would be preferable - or it will be someone else. You can live in hope that the problem will go away all by itself. It might. But be prepared to do something for your own benefit if it doesn't.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Weterman View Post
    I just don't want to talk to people I don't know about cutting myself. I talk to certain friends about it, and that's it.

    Now back on topic, am I depressed?
    That's the rub. We can't diagnose you here. I doubt your friends are qualified psychologists, either. You will, at some point, need to speak with a total stranger who is more qualified to help you.

    Just keep in mind that at some point everyone around you is a total stranger. Sure, talking about depression might not be the best ice-breaker, but that's why that person is there. It takes guts to open up about your personal life to someone like that, but it may be the only way to get yourself back on track. If you DO have something like a chemical imbalance that is causing you to hurt yourself, you may find that you no longer have control over your actions at some point. The things you do to yourself might not really be 'you'.

    Again, if you're being open and honest with us, then what you say sounds like it could be depression and you need to seek medical help. I'm a geologist. You don't want me diagnosing your mental health.
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    Weterman, I'm actually a psych professional so I can't ignore this. From what you have told us I don't have enough information to even guess at a diagnosis. What was you intention when you cut yourself? Did you want to die? Or were you seeking the high from endorphin release? Self harm is a primative defense mechanism and is habit forming, endorphins are naturally occuring opioids. It is bad because it is self HARM. (duh)
    Other questions: are you eating OK or are you losing weight? Are you sleeping well? How many hours of sleep do you get? Nightmares? Recurrent dreams? If you are in school, how are your grades? What activities do you enage in? sports? clubs?
    Talking to your friends is a good thing but is totally not a substitute for professional counseling.
    It is normal for adolescents to be under stress. These stresses eventually get you to leave the nest, which is a normal developmental stage.
    Your current behaviors are very common for your age group but most people outgrow them. If you continue these behaviors into adulthood then it might be diagnosable as a personality disorder.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Weterman View Post
    It is pretty hard to "get help" though. Someone that I do not know, told a teacher in my school that I was doing this for attention. I am not. But the school now told my parrents. My mom is mad and yelling at me. My Dad isn't mad.

    Getting other people that think they know what I'm going through to talk to me, is the worst thing. They think they know. "he is cutting himself because he is sad. what is he said about?" "he says nothing. he just doesnt want to share. ill keep him in this system until he tells me. then i will tell him not to do anything bad and then im done."
    And this is exactly why you need professional assistance with this: someone who is independent, not emotionally involved, understands the sort of problems you are having, knows how to help ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Weterman View Post
    My school says they are going to set up councelling for me, which is the last thing I need. I don't want someone I don't know to tell me what to do.
    The purpose of counselling is NOT to tell you what to do or think.
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    My school says they are going to set up councelling for me, which is the last thing I need. I don't want someone I don't know to tell me what to do.
    Somehow or other I missed this earlier. Strange is right. That's not what counsellors do - especially not specialist adolescent counsellors. (You might be thinking of career or education counselling. Those consultations can get quite directive, they're wanting you to make up your mind about something specific. That's quite a different kettle of fish from psychological counselling.)

    I can assure you that they listen. And they keep on listening because, sometimes, people have some truly awful things in their life or their history that takes quite a long time - and only after they have come to trust the counsellor - to tell them about. So counsellors are quite prepared to have you take your own time to get around to what's really troubling you.
    "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." Winston Churchill
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    Quote Originally Posted by Strange View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Weterman View Post
    It is pretty hard to "get help" though. Someone that I do not know, told a teacher in my school that I was doing this for attention. I am not. But the school now told my parrents. My mom is mad and yelling at me. My Dad isn't mad.

    Getting other people that think they know what I'm going through to talk to me, is the worst thing. They think they know. "he is cutting himself because he is sad. what is he said about?" "he says nothing. he just doesnt want to share. ill keep him in this system until he tells me. then i will tell him not to do anything bad and then im done."
    And this is exactly why you need professional assistance with this: someone who is independent, not emotionally involved, understands the sort of problems you are having, knows how to help ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Weterman View Post
    My school says they are going to set up councelling for me, which is the last thing I need. I don't want someone I don't know to tell me what to do.
    The purpose of counselling is NOT to tell you what to do or think.
    Well, they are telling me to go into counselling. And I just felt worse since I heard this. The school took my siscors away, so now I am pinching my cuts, but it doesn't help. The fact that my parents know, and that I am going to be forced into counselling, makes me feel worse. My friend cut himself before, and I'm sure he will know better of what to do, than a counsellor that judges me.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sealeaf View Post
    Weterman, I'm actually a psych professional so I can't ignore this. From what you have told us I don't have enough information to even guess at a diagnosis. What was you intention when you cut yourself? Did you want to die? Or were you seeking the high from endorphin release? Self harm is a primative defense mechanism and is habit forming, endorphins are naturally occuring opioids. It is bad because it is self HARM. (duh)
    Other questions: are you eating OK or are you losing weight? Are you sleeping well? How many hours of sleep do you get? Nightmares? Recurrent dreams? If you are in school, how are your grades? What activities do you enage in? sports? clubs?
    Talking to your friends is a good thing but is totally not a substitute for professional counseling.
    It is normal for adolescents to be under stress. These stresses eventually get you to leave the nest, which is a normal developmental stage.
    Your current behaviors are very common for your age group but most people outgrow them. If you continue these behaviors into adulthood then it might be diagnosable as a personality disorder.
    My grades are in 70's, except my christian class, it's just above 50.


    The first time I cut myself, I was bored. But then I got happy from it so I did it again.


    The school thinks I am doing it for attention. And this is why I don't want to go into counselling. They will have a prejudice about me.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Weterman View Post
    The school thinks I am doing it for attention. And this is why I don't want to go into counselling. They will have a prejudice about me.
    This is the difference between people like friends, family and teachers who may not know what they are talking about, and counsellors who do. A counsellor should understand why you are doing this (and not jump to conclusions) and will not judge you. They are there to help you.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Strange View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Weterman View Post
    The school thinks I am doing it for attention. And this is why I don't want to go into counselling. They will have a prejudice about me.
    This is the difference between people like friends, family and teachers who may not know what they are talking about, and counsellors who do. A counsellor should understand why you are doing this (and not jump to conclusions) and will not judge you. They are there to help you.
    Ok, I believe you, but I still don't want to tell someone I don't know about my problems. I am failing my christian class because of I don't want to tell the teacher about myself, and telling someone about my problems will be worse.
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    my favourite quotes about sadness self-pity and depression. i found these together on the net. i like them. im not sure they are valid though.

    'The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone'
    'I never saw a wild thing feel sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself'
    'All depression has its roots in self-pity, and all self-pity is rooted in people taking themselves too seriously'
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    Well we can't really help you if you refuse to help yourself.
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    The school thinks I am doing it for attention. And this is why I don't want to go into counselling. They will have a prejudice about me.
    1. Counsellors who deal with children and adolescents are quite accustomed to parents and schools and others telling them that a client needs "fixing" because .... of something that disturbs or upsets the adults. They're also quite accustomed to making up their own minds about what is or isn't the problem with the client - because all too often the root of the problem turns out to be the adult/s, or the relationship with those adults, who referred the son or daughter or student or grandchild to them in the first place. Their interest and concern is with you and for you.

    2. Once you're a client of a professional counsellor, the school won't know what goes on between you and the counsellor anyway. If the counsellor thinks it would be good for you to have a change in your circumstances in some way, they won't tell the school what's been discussed in your sessions. They will find ways to make appropriate suggestions while maintaining your privacy.

    3. There's no need to bare your soul to a stranger on first meeting. The initial consultations should be mainly a process of establishing a relationship. Once you feel that you know the person well enough and you trust them to keep your confidence, you can open up a bit.

    4. If you don't like the counsellor or you find after a few sessions that you still don't feel you can trust them or you dislike them for some reason, you can take the next step of finding, for yourself, a counsellor or a service that does suit you. You're not a helpless 9 year old with no options and no capacity to help yourself. That won't mean there's anything wrong with the counsellor or with counselling as a process, it just means that the two of you aren't a good fit.
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    For the sake of being just, I must share with everyone my impetus for writing on this thread in the first place. I apologize if anyone feels offended by it, but it has been for the consideration of all members. Like ToThePoint, I have suspected since Weterman's second statement on this page that he has been putting us on, but after reading his response to my post, I have no doubt that he is. This topic has been my first exposure to Weterman, which in itself is enough to tell me what is truly happening here, but now that I am acquainted with his posting history, I see that he has been playing this game for a long time. This kid, whether he is chronologically or just psychologically one, is abusing The Science Forum and should be banned. I firmly suspect that Weterman suffers from mythomania.
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    Clearly you haven't read too many of his posts very carefully. He's a school kid, barely 16 years old.

    I'm neither a counsellor nor a teacher, but I have tutored dozens of kids this age as well as knowing the several dozen children of relatives, neighbours and friends and the depressed, put upon, ones sound exactly like this. Even though the individual problems vary from person to person, the depressed mood and the avoidance behaviour is consistent. The preference to talk to other kids of the same age and to avoid known adults or others who are authority figures of some sort is more or less the essence of adolescence.

    Mythomania. Mythomania? What is this? Pseudologia fantastica - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia This????

    Firstly, diagnosing any illness, physical or mental, over the internet is totally unacceptable. It sometimes can be helpful to someone who asks for alternative diagnoses or guidance for internet searching. But always, always, always on these forums, the advice is to go to a professional.

    Secondly, one of the things we know about several mental illnesses is that the symptoms first show up in teens and early twenties. We also know that adolescents can suffer badly from depression and/or anxiety. We also know that cutting is addictive. Getting this young bloke - or any similar readers with similar problems - to get themselves into the hands of a professional is the best thing that we can do for him and for them regardless of what the problem eventually turns out to be.

    Even if, in some parallel universe, it turns out that you're right about what's happening here, the person needs to See A Professional.
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    Adelady, I am cognizant of all of the things that you mention, which are mostly matters of common sense anyway. Given that you are not familiar with mythomania, there is not room for you to imply that my suggestion is outlandish. You might be surprised to know that I have professional psychiatric training and nearly two decades of experience in counseling. Perhaps you find the latter even more difficult to believe since I am in my twenties. Weterman's age is probably what he tells us, but we have no way of being sure, which is what one of my remarks is based on. I have made no attempt to diagnose him. This is why I say what I suspect is wrong with him. Moreover, I have never denied that Weterman needs professional help, which I admit I would not be able to legally give him. As a matter of fact, I have read quite a few of this young man's posts, which is why I bring attention to their inconsistencies. Several have obvious lies, including ones on this thread. This member is claiming that after discovering his self mutilation, school officials have merely contacted his parents and confiscated his weapon, and that his mother is in an uproar but dormant because she has no idea what to do. On this continent, even public schools are required to demand that unstable students who are direct threats to themselves or others undergo psychological intervention before permitting them to return to school. A private school like the one Weterman claims to attend would be more stringent about this sort of issue, likely even in the way of expulsion. If this problem is real, then his parents do not need to engage in any guesswork. They surely know that their son needs to be hospitalized in a situation like this. It is not for me or other members to say exactly what Weterman is suffering from since we have never met him. However, I can ascertain that this person frequently asks inappropriate questions with one in particular being highly improper. He gives very sketchy explanations and often testifies to unrealistic or even impossible things. Although I would not be the least bit startled to discover that this thread is based entirely on a product of Weterman's imagination, he could be giving us a fact or two, but if this is the case, the facts are shadowed with embellishments. This brings me back to my strong suspicion that this original poster has mythomania. His mental anomalies are open to interpretation, but I doubt that anyone will dispute the fact that Weterman abuses this forum.
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    nearly two decades of experience in counseling. Perhaps you find the latter even more difficult to believe since I am in my twenties.
    I find it hard to put a full 12 year school education plus a 3 year degree plus 20 years of professional experience into 29 years, you're right. But I presume there's a way to put that together somehow.

    If this problem is real, then his parents do not need to engage in any guesswork. They surely know that their son needs to be hospitalized in a situation like this.
    I've dealt with parents of children of various ages with a huge variety of problems relating to their education. You have a lot more faith in their judgment than I do. The most common excuse advanced by fathers of boys - even very little boys - runs along the lines of "Nothing wrong with my boy" when all that's suggested is a free visit to an optometrist for an eye check. Getting kids with suspected aural processing problems into a seriously expensive consultation with an expert audiologist - no chance with this sort of family.

    Anything related to behaviour problems? Usually blame, anger, disappointment in that order of likelihood. The idea of counselling or any other professional getting involved - never suggested by a parent. Though sometimes parents would complain that the school wanted them to do something, like counselling, that they didn't want to do. Everything that adolescents complain of or get involved in is attributed to "just a phase, he'll grow out of it" and/or to the kid being irresponsible/ idiotic/ disobedient - or everything on that list. So the kid is blamed and accused of being evil and "letting down the family" while simultaneously being dismissed as being trivial and childish.

    I often suspected that this was a form of denial of the seriousness of the issue, backed up by a fear that someone would tell them that they'd somehow "failed" as a parent. Any suggestion of this sort of thing sends many mothers into a frenzy of nailbiting anxiety combined with rage at their child for putting the parents into a difficult situation. (And they never voice any fears for the child of how serious the problem might be.)

    As for schools taking prompt, appropriate action. Once again you have more faith than I do.

    Schools are pretty good at the Mandatory Reporting stuff when it relates to any sexual abuse that they suspect. As for dealing with kids who are showing clear signs of distress or abnormal behaviour without attributing it to sexual abuse? Not so much. They'll often be oblivious to problems that are actually within their premises and/or their policies and their capacity to control and they get super defensive, sometimes quite aggressive, if anyone suggests that a suicide attempt by a student, or any other serious issue, is related to their management (or otherwise) of bullying by students or staff - even when it's been brought to their attention several times before.

    This brings me back to my strong suspicion that this original poster has mythomania. His mental anomalies are open to interpretation, but I doubt that anyone will dispute the fact that Weterman abuses this forum.
    I'm not so sure. He's a school kid in a family that espouses a strong form of protestant Christianity and sends him to a catholic school. Guaranteed to cause all kinds of problems for him which might be difficult to discuss within the family. Not much good asking questions at home if the answer is always and only that we're right, they're wrong and we're really sorry that the only religious school available here is catholic because catholics are wrong. (I have a close fundie relative - I've heard it all. Including all the misunderstandings that anti-catholics spout as gospel truth.)

    Here he's free to talk to adults who are unrelated to him, that he doesn't have to talk to face to face and who are not at all involved in any of the authority relationships which are the standard for kids of his age. And yes. He talks silliness and rubbish and vulgarity from time to time - but there are people who use this forum three times his age who do little better and sometimes worse. They're old enough to know better and to have been told much more often to lift their game than he has.

    I might delete any comments or posts from him that are outside the guidelines. I might suspend him for bad language or attacks on other members. If he gets suspended it would be for the usual reasons and for the usual 2 or 3 days. If he gets permanently banned it would be for behaviour that anyone would be banned for.

    We won't ban him because he might not be a very nice person. If he's having us on, we're big enough and ugly enough to tolerate a stupid kid.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theresa View Post
    His mental anomalies are open to interpretation, but I doubt that anyone will dispute the fact that Weterman abuses this forum.
    Your doubt turns out to be ill founded. I do not think Weterman is abusing the forum. I think he is using it as a means to better explore his emotions and to try to reach an understanding of the mental upheavals he is experiencing. While that is not the primary function of the forum, if we are able to provide him with some insights as a consequence of his posts and discussions here then I for one am pleased we can provide that facility.

    If it were to turn out that he is a troll that would be a price worth paying in order to allow a genuine case to benefit. And I do not think he is a troll.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theresa View Post
    His mental anomalies are open to interpretation, but I doubt that anyone will dispute the fact that Weterman abuses this forum.
    If anyone is abusing this forum, it is you.
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    Adelady, for the second time, you grossly misunderstood me. I clarified that I was not a professional counselor. I did not say that my counseling experience was gained as a professional, I said that my psychiatric training was professional. Also, I never told you what kind of degree I had, so there was no reason for you to refer to a specific one. As a little girl I began to study under and directly work with professional counselors as their second hands. By the time I moved into my teen years I started to assist in the diagnoses of many mental illnesses, including mythomania. After high school I received a degree in an area that involved professional psychiatric training. My remarks about Weterman's school were not based on faith but laws, as well as the strict policies of Catholic schools. The story about his mother had not measured up because if she had been upset enough to act directly on her son's crisis instead of sweeping it under the rug, then common sense would have told her where to go for help. This would have been on the opposite end of the spectrum that you spoke of, the one where parents just didn't want to acknowledge what was wrong with their children. Weterman described an odd, discomfiting gray area that made no sense. Perhaps you had only seen parents turn the other way out of denial or shame, but I had encountered quite a few situations in which the parents pushed for therapy and their troubled children were the ones who carried a facade of perfection.
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    Strange, why do you say that I am abusing the forum?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theresa View Post
    You might be surprised to know that I have professional psychiatric training and nearly two decades of experience in counseling.
    I find this statement dubious at best considering you were quick to not only diagnose someone over the internet...

    Quote Originally Posted by Theresa View Post
    I firmly suspect that Weterman suffers from mythomania.
    ...but also willing to imply that we should cease our efforts to take his case seriously.

    Whatever happened to erring on the side of caution? The potential is the well-being of another person. If he is trolling us, no harm done. If he has a real problem, then he needs to be told by an overwhelming majority that it is important he seek out help from someone else.

    I'm ignoring the rest of your arrogant posting because it adds little to no substance to the conversation.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theresa View Post
    Strange, why do you say that I am abusing the forum?
    I don't think I have much to add to Flick's and adelady's points about the unhelpfulness, and possible harm, of your comments. It is worrying that someone who comes across as so arrogant, uncaring and judgemental should be allowed to do any counselling. (Or maybe your years of experience are on the other side...)
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    The story about his mother had not measured up because if she had been upset enough to act directly on her son's crisis instead of sweeping it under the rug, then common sense would have told her where to go for help.
    Why do you presume that her version of common sense would be the same as yours?

    I earlier made the mistake of presuming that his parents would be concerned about him openly eating known poisonous stuff in the garden and found out that they, or at least his mother, were not at all concerned when he told her about it. Along with his questions about his foot. If he'd been my kid he'd have been at the doctor's in a flash. (And doctors are free - or near enough - where he lives.) His mother went and spent $100+ on an electrical device and didn't bother the doctor at all.

    People have all kinds of strange notions about health and constantly misjudge their own capacities to assess whether a problem is or isn't serious, or even whether there's a problem in the first place. Some people have a tradition of self-reliance and privacy which keeps them away from doctors until they have no choice because an ambulance takes them to an ER. We have no way of knowing what kind of people his family are, whether his school is or isn't a good organisation, and it's not our job to say whether they're doing the right thing or not. They're certainly likely to be doing their best as they see it.

    We can only suggest what's good for his well-being and how he can take as much control of that as is within the scope of his freedom of action at his age and in his circumstances.
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    As an aside, I can't imagine the damage you could do if you treated an ACTUAL patient with such a deriding and judgmental attitude. Even if their problem isn't real, your goal should still be to make them feel better about themselves to a point where they don't need to lie. If he WERE lying about cutting himself and everything else, it sounds like he STILL has a problem to address....
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    Perhaps you had only seen parents turn the other way out of denial or shame, but I had encountered quite a few situations in which the parents pushed for therapy and their troubled children were the ones who carried a facade of perfection.
    That would be because you don't get to see the people who won't go to counselling or won't take their children there. A person involved in a counselling service sees only the subset of potential clients who actually make it to the office. Even then you say you see some where a client is reluctant or they have no other option. I'd also be inclined to suggest that some clients would have been better off if they'd gone for counselling long before their problems became so overwhelming they were almost forced to.

    How would you ever get to see someone where everyone in the family is resistant and reluctant?
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    Weterman, if you're reading this, please don't think that you're justified in avoiding therapists because you're afraid of meeting up with someone who will speak to you the way that Thereas has spoken about you.

    People who specialise in counselling teenagers aren't impatient and suspicious and judgmental as she seems to be. And anyway, if they are unpleasant or unsympathetic or you don't trust them for some other reason, there are always other therapists you can go to instead.

    Don't let her put you off.
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    Flick Montana, you certainly have the right to ignore me, but before you permanently do may I ask you to please note that I have merely voiced a suspicion? I have admitted that no one, professional or otherwise, can diagnose over the internet. I agree with all of you: diagnosing over the internet is very irresponsible. Also, I have acknowledged that this young man may be telling the truth about certain things, but have clinical reasons to believe that he is painting a different picture for us from what he would for himself. Strange, I am afraid that it does not support your case to call me arrogant and then make a very ignorant and petulant comment. Adelady, I am not referring to a personal method of thinking. Common sense is a generalized and automatic way of applying knowledge that everyone has, hence the name. I would never assume that someone would sort out a problem the same way that I would. That's a very individualized action. To answer your question, this would only occur on a personal level. I have actually seen all three scenarios that we have covered because I have worked on various levels. If it is consolation to any of you, I have never worked in an independent counseling service, nor will I ever. My experience has been through other formats. Ironically, I have become involved in this thread out of concern and sensitivity for everyone, including Weterman. My concern for others is that Weterman is needlessly upsetting fellow members by discussing with them inappropriate, private issues that they are not trained to deal with and might not even be valid. My concerns for Weterman are that he is reaching out for assistance in the wrong place, being led astray by inept people, and not prepared to address all of his troubles with a therapist. Please pardon me for saying so, but several of you have discrepancies in your posts that make you seem hypocritical. You claim that I am insensitive, yet continue to condone Weterman aimlessly dragging himself through this forum. I must ask why I am the damaging one when I am the only person who is frank enough to explore all of the psychologically and ethically suspect matters of this situation. This boy is obviously mentally ill. He might even have more than one condition. Regardless of what is wrong, none of you are helping Weterman by encouraging him to stay in his comfort zone and play a patient to this board. I apologize for causing so much confusion and offending others. My intention has only been to shed light on key elements which seem to be overlooked by everyone else. Now that I have given my full explanation, I will lay my responses on this thread to rest.
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    You claim that I am insensitive, yet continue to condone Weterman aimlessly dragging himself through this forum. I must ask why I am the damaging one when I am the only person who is frank enough to explore all of the psychologically and ethically suspect matters of this situation. This boy is obviously mentally ill. He might even have more than one condition. Regardless of what is wrong, none of you are helping Weterman by encouraging him to stay in his comfort zone and play a patient to this board.
    Have you read what we've written?

    We've been consistently advising him that getting therapy is a good idea. That he needn't be afraid of the process. That his friends are not the best qualified to help him. In case you haven't noticed, he's wavering between wondering whether he's depressed and then claiming that cutting is not a problem because it makes him feel "better". We all know that's just endorphins, he might know it but he's not indicated that he really understands the biology involved. Not many people do.

    The one thing we are, that your "frank" approach isn't, is patient. He needs time, and knowledge, and support, to get himself to the point of seeking or accepting therapy. Adolescents are notoriously resistant to unwelcome advice from adults. Depressed people are well-known to feel incapable of helping themselves - or of doing anything much at all. Depressed adolescents find it very hard to take action of any kind.

    Everyone is inclined to deny, or at least indulge in a bit of wishful positive thinking, or to delay acknowledging that they have any problem needing medical or other professional help. Just look at the number of people who won't even call a plumber until water's flooding through the ceiling. They've been kidding themselves for days - or months - that they'll fix that minor leak themselves some time somehow. And then things are taken out of their hands by the eventual, predictable disaster. Many people take the same approach to health problems, including mental health issues. And they convince themselves that it'll all go away and there won't be any disaster to deal with. We can't blame adolescents too much for doing exactly the same as many of the adults they know.

    And this boy is not "obviously mentally ill". He's got problems, that's true. But adolescents can go through periods, sometimes years, of emotional turmoil and come out the other side perfectly OK. Or they can have issues that look, on the surface, like any other silly kid's problems when in fact they're the beginning of something more serious. The biggest issue here is the cutting. If he continues that he might succumb to the addictive compulsion to do it often. Starting therapy now will nip that in the bud and might help with underlying issues that could affect him in the longer term.

    Impatience and online "frankness" will come across as being just like his mum's yelling, but online. The yelling face to face didn't convince him nor did it prompt him to change the concerning behaviour, so I can't see how an online version of the same thing could do any better.
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    this man has many problems. more than can get solved by internet people
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    Quote Originally Posted by Weterman View Post
    Ok, I believe you, but I still don't want to tell someone I don't know about my problems. I am failing my christian class because of I don't want to tell the teacher about myself, and telling someone about my problems will be worse.
    If you are willing to tell strangers on the Internet about your problems, you'll have much, much more success telling a therapist about them. These are people who have a lot of training, most of it geared specifically to help people like you.
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    Sorry Theresa, if you're going to put no effort into formatting your wall of text directed at me, I'm putting the same amount of effort into reading it (read; I'm not).
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    Quote Originally Posted by billvon View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Weterman View Post
    Ok, I believe you, but I still don't want to tell someone I don't know about my problems. I am failing my christian class because of I don't want to tell the teacher about myself, and telling someone about my problems will be worse.
    If you are willing to tell strangers on the Internet about your problems, you'll have much, much more success telling a therapist about them. These are people who have a lot of training, most of it geared specifically to help people like you.
    I did not intent to tell anyone about my problems. I asked a question, if I have depression or not. And I don't want to see a therapist for my own reasons. Theresa didn't affect my choice.



    But why is cutting myself such a bad thing? How unhealthy is it? What harm is done to me by cutting myself? Why is cutting my hand, so much different than cutting my hair?
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    Theresa, you will see that you have a "like" from the user called Stargate. This is rarely a good sign.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Weterman View Post
    I did not intent to tell anyone about my problems. I asked a question, if I have depression or not.
    Then ask a therapist (or your doctor, or some other health care professional) the same questions. You will get better answers, and they will be able to help you.

    What harm is done to me by cutting myself? Why is cutting my hand, so much different than cutting my hair?
    If that is a serious question, and you think cutting yourself is not much different than cutting your hair, then it is imperative that you ask a health care professional. Your health is at stake.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theresa View Post
    This boy is obviously mentally ill. He might even have more than one condition. . . . I firmly suspect that Weterman suffers from mythomania.
    Diagnosing such things over the internet is very irresponsible. I do not believe anyone with any psychiatric training at all would try to do so.
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    But why is cutting myself such a bad thing? How unhealthy is it? What harm is done to me by cutting myself?
    Cutting yourself is a minor health issue in itself.

    How unhealthy is it? Saying that you feel "better" after cutting is the problem. It's unhealthy.

    It's a well-known brain chemical response. The brain chemicals are called endorphins. And They Are Addictive.

    (A similar thing happens to some people who run a lot. They can exhaust themselves running further and harder to get "high". Because they're addicted to the brain chemicals. The running "looks" harmless, even admirably healthy, to other people but it's not. It's an addiction. They're not running to get healthy, they're running because they can't help it.)

    You've only done this a few times so far so the addiction is not fully established. But you're showing all the signs that it could be a serious problem - that you won't be able to control - and that could happen fairly soon. You don't know, we don't know, your parents don't know, the school doesn't know, nobody knows.

    That's why you need to see a counsellor to work it out.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Weterman View Post
    I did not intent to tell anyone about my problems. I asked a question, if I have depression or not. And I don't want to see a therapist for my own reasons. Theresa didn't affect my choice.

    But why is cutting myself such a bad thing? How unhealthy is it? What harm is done to me by cutting myself? Why is cutting my hand, so much different than cutting my hair?
    These are all good questions for a mental health professional. Like I said earlier, you have to want to help yourself.
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    Weterman, you should see your doctor about this.
    He should be able to recomend a profesional to help you with it.
    The doctors and nurses will keep it just between you and them too so that you don't get singled out in the town.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Strange View Post
    Theresa, you will see that you have a "like" from the user called Stargate. This is rarely a good sign.
    I also gave Adelady a like sign. its about truth and common sense, not about ego.
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    Quote Originally Posted by adelady View Post
    But why is cutting myself such a bad thing? How unhealthy is it? What harm is done to me by cutting myself?
    Cutting yourself is a minor health issue in itself.

    How unhealthy is it? Saying that you feel "better" after cutting is the problem. It's unhealthy.

    It's a well-known brain chemical response. The brain chemicals are called endorphins. And They Are Addictive.

    (A similar thing happens to some people who run a lot. They can exhaust themselves running further and harder to get "high". Because they're addicted to the brain chemicals. The running "looks" harmless, even admirably healthy, to other people but it's not. It's an addiction. They're not running to get healthy, they're running because they can't help it.)

    You've only done this a few times so far so the addiction is not fully established. But you're showing all the signs that it could be a serious problem - that you won't be able to control - and that could happen fairly soon. You don't know, we don't know, your parents don't know, the school doesn't know, nobody knows.

    That's why you need to see a counsellor to work it out.
    Well yes, it can be addictive. The same way having fun, and living is addictive. Does that mean it's unhealthy? It could be a good thing to be addicted to running. You are physically more healthy. Just because it is addictive, does not mean it is unhealthy.

    The only real problem I see from cutting myself, is the cut could get infected. But it's unlikely.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Weterman View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by adelady View Post
    But why is cutting myself such a bad thing? How unhealthy is it? What harm is done to me by cutting myself?
    Cutting yourself is a minor health issue in itself. How unhealthy is it? Saying that you feel "better" after cutting is the problem. It's unhealthy.It's a well-known brain chemical response. The brain chemicals are called endorphins. And They Are Addictive. (A similar thing happens to some people who run a lot. They can exhaust themselves running further and harder to get "high". Because they're addicted to the brain chemicals. The running "looks" harmless, even admirably healthy, to other people but it's not. It's an addiction. They're not running to get healthy, they're running because they can't help it.) You've only done this a few times so far so the addiction is not fully established. But you're showing all the signs that it could be a serious problem - that you won't be able to control - and that could happen fairly soon. You don't know, we don't know, your parents don't know, the school doesn't know, nobody knows. That's why you need to see a counsellor to work it out.
    Well yes, it can be addictive. The same way having fun, and living is addictive. Does that mean it's unhealthy? It could be a good thing to be addicted to running. You are physically more healthy. Just because it is addictive, does not mean it is unhealthy.The only real problem I see from cutting myself, is the cut could get infected. But it's unlikely.
    false equivalence, running does not run the certainty of bodily harm, scarring and various other irreversible damage. Cutting your arms can seem innocuous, but as with many other addictions, prolonged use lends to needing stronger doses to satisfy your cravings. What was once superficial cuts on the arm turn into deep slices into the thigh, wrists, you continue the dosage without treatment, eventually you may find yourself contemplating things that could be seriously harmful/fatal. I'm no psychologist, but I've seen it/felt it. Seeking treatment is the best advice I can give you(from personal experience.)
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    The same way having fun, and living is addictive. Does that mean it's unhealthy?
    The same way? I don't think so.

    I've done drinking till I'm drunk every now and again.
    I've done smoking like a train.
    I've danced all night without either.
    I've partied all night until morning with just a few drinks, but with no intoxication.

    All enjoyable in various ways, all with some health implications. Which would you say was the most risk and/or the least healthy?

    Yay! We have a winner! The smoking. The one that's most addictive to most people and carries the most long-term health risks with it.

    If I'd ever done any cutting and included it in the list, which of those activities is most alike in terms of risk of addiction and carrying longer term health consequences?
    "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." Winston Churchill
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    Quote Originally Posted by Weterman View Post
    Well yes, it can be addictive. The same way having fun, and living is addictive. Does that mean it's unhealthy? It could be a good thing to be addicted to running. You are physically more healthy. Just because it is addictive, does not mean it is unhealthy.
    Cocaine, methamphetamine, alcohol, nicotine, violence and crime can also be addictive. Some things are good for you. Some things aren't. Cutting yourself is one of those things on the "not good for you" side of the line.
    The only real problem I see from cutting myself, is the cut could get infected. But it's unlikely.
    If you think there are no health risks - you really need to see a doctor.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Weterman View Post
    Well yes, it can be addictive. The same way having fun, and living is addictive. Does that mean it's unhealthy? It could be a good thing to be addicted to running. You are physically more healthy. Just because it is addictive, does not mean it is unhealthy.

    The only real problem I see from cutting myself, is the cut could get infected. But it's unlikely.
    Snowboarding gives me an adrenaline rush. So would running through traffic. Are they equivalent?

    I would also say that NO addiction is healthy because, by definition, you are unable to control that aspect of your life.
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    Quote Originally Posted by billvon View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Weterman View Post
    Well yes, it can be addictive. The same way having fun, and living is addictive. Does that mean it's unhealthy? It could be a good thing to be addicted to running. You are physically more healthy. Just because it is addictive, does not mean it is unhealthy.
    Cocaine, methamphetamine, alcohol, nicotine, violence and crime can also be addictive. Some things are good for you. Some things aren't. Cutting yourself is one of those things on the "not good for you" side of the line.
    The only real problem I see from cutting myself, is the cut could get infected. But it's unlikely.
    If you think there are no health risks - you really need to see a doctor.
    well what are the health risks?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Weterman View Post
    well what are the health risks?
    Why don't you ask a doctor? They have years of training that will enable them to give you a very accurate answer to your question, and they have a legal obligation to not talk about you to other people. That's a much better option than asking random strangers on the Internet about subjects that directly impact your health.
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    I was thinking about this question this morning. I've experienced something similar - a sudden overwhelming feeling of sadness for no reason. It's different from depression that rolls in and hangs around for months. This comes on quickly and usually is over in a few hours, or even minutes. Sometimes all it takes is picking up a book or going for a walk or having a conversation about something else. It lasts at most a day. And yet, I'm surprised sometimes how intense and dark the feelings are.

    I sometimes wonder if it isn't just some temporary glitch in the brain. Although, I have also tried to trace back my thought process before it happens, and occasionally there is some chain of events - a story on the radio that reminds me of something that happened ten years ago, that reminds me of something else, that triggers some other worry. Or maybe it's a combination of both processes. It sort of reminds me of when ones blood pressure suddenly drops when you stand up too fast, or are dehydrated. There's that same feeling of not being able to control what is happening, and that you didn't see it coming. And once your body reestablishes homeostasis, you're fine again.

    I don't know much about cutting or what relief people derive for it. I won't pass judgement. But what happens if you don't or can't do it? Does your state of mind improve anyway? Is it possible you've come to associate the effects of cutting with feeling better, when you would have felt better anyway? Or is it a distraction that jolts your body and your mind out of that emotional state?
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    Quote Originally Posted by DianeG View Post
    I was thinking about this question this morning. I've experienced something similar - a sudden overwhelming feeling of sadness for no reason. It's different from depression that rolls in and hangs around for months. This comes on quickly and usually is over in a few hours, or even minutes. Sometimes all it takes is picking up a book or going for a walk or having a conversation about something else. It lasts at most a day. And yet, I'm surprised sometimes how intense and dark the feelings are.

    I sometimes wonder if it isn't just some temporary glitch in the brain. Although, I have also tried to trace back my thought process before it happens, and occasionally there is some chain of events - a story on the radio that reminds me of something that happened ten years ago, that reminds me of something else, that triggers some other worry. Or maybe it's a combination of both processes. It sort of reminds me of when ones blood pressure suddenly drops when you stand up too fast, or are dehydrated. There's that same feeling of not being able to control what is happening, and that you didn't see it coming. And once your body reestablishes homeostasis, you're fine again.

    I don't know much about cutting or what relief people derive for it. I won't pass judgement. But what happens if you don't or can't do it? Does your state of mind improve anyway? Is it possible you've come to associate the effects of cutting with feeling better, when you would have felt better anyway? Or is it a distraction that jolts your body and your mind out of that emotional state?
    The cutting just makes me feel happier. I couldn't cut for a few days when the school took my siccors away, and I felt bad. I finally found a way to cut without anyone knowing, and i felt good that day.
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    Is it possible that there is something else you could do IN PLACE of cutting yourself that might make you feel good? Perhaps something that isn't physically destructive.
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    phlebotomy?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flick Montana View Post
    Is it possible that there is something else you could do IN PLACE of cutting yourself that might make you feel good? Perhaps something that isn't physically destructive.
    I try pinching my cuts, but that doesn't help. Exercise doesn't help either. The cut has a little pain through out the day, and I think that makes me happy for the day. If it was just a pain, for when I cut, and no more, I wouldn't be happy for the rest of the day.
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    You really, really need to talk to someone about this.

    Someone outside the family and outside your school or social or church or friendship circles. Preferably a qualified professional with ethical and/or legal obligations about confidentiality.

    More importantly, such a person has no personal or emotional involvement with you so they're not going to get cross or shout at you or embarrass you or any of the things that people who love you or like you or just know you might do. They have no desire or interest in maintaining a relationship with you or exerting control over you. They're only interested in your well-being and how best they can help you.

    That would be a doctor or a therapist. You can do it online or by phone with a therapist if you don't want to talk face to face. You can talk to a therapist or a doctor face to face.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Weterman View Post
    The cutting just makes me feel happier. I couldn't cut for a few days when the school took my siccors away, and I felt bad. I finally found a way to cut without anyone knowing, and i felt good that day.
    The main thing that would worry me is if you have a lot of negative or hateful thoughts about yourself before or while you are doing it. It seems self-destructive. On the other hand, it might not be much different than someone who runs laps around the track or does a few rounds in the gym with a punching bag to blow off steam. Maybe it releases endorphins in the brain, I don't really know. I had a friend who said she did this when she was a teenager. She wasn't doing it for attention, and never told anyone at the time. It finally just kind of went away, and she wasn't self-destructive in her life in any other way. She didn't drink or do drugs or get involved in abusive relationships.

    If you do want to stop cutting for any reason, there are therapists who can help you, and it is confidential. You can do this even if you aren't 100% sure you want to stop and are just thinking it might be a good idea. Just think of that option as a "parachute" you always have with you, and you can pull that cord if you decide to. My mom once told me, "No matter how weird or different you think you are, you're not. There's millions of other people who have thought the very same thoughts and had all same feelings. It's all been done before." And I think she was right.
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    I have stopped cutting myself, weed made me forget about it. I also feel happier now.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Weterman View Post
    I have stopped cutting myself, weed made me forget about it. I also feel happier now.
    While psychology is an imperfect science, it is known that the way we deal with issues have lasting effects. While cutting yourself or even smoking weed might not pose that great of an immediate physical health risk, the biggest concern is that you are inappropriately dealing with your problems. Weed might be less physically addictive than cigarettes, but the psychological addiction of both the cutting and weed is the problem. You are not dealing with your problems properly.

    It is like having been shot. You might take a bunch of pain killers and keep the pain at bay, but in the mean time the wound is bleeding and getting infected, and before long you are in serious trouble. Similarly, by not dealing with your problems appropriately, you might be setting yourself up for a full blown mental emergency which will be very difficult to get out of.

    The best thing for you, as others have suggested, is to seek professional help. You might not think that it will help, but often simply having someone to talk to about whatever you like can be of tremendous benefit. I urge you to seek professional help as soon as you are able in order to spare yourself from something much worse down the road. Cutting yourself and weed are NOT permanent solutions.
    Disclaimer: I do not declare myself to be an expert on ANY subject. If I state something as fact that is obviously wrong, please don't hesitate to correct me. I welcome such corrections in an attempt to be as truthful and accurate as possible.

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    Weterman, please take heed of Kalster's advice.
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    Quote Originally Posted by KALSTER View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Weterman View Post
    I have stopped cutting myself, weed made me forget about it. I also feel happier now.
    While psychology is an imperfect science, it is known that the way we deal with issues have lasting effects. While cutting yourself or even smoking weed might not pose that great of an immediate physical health risk, the biggest concern is that you are inappropriately dealing with your problems. Weed might be less physically addictive than cigarettes, but the psychological addiction of both the cutting and weed is the problem. You are not dealing with your problems properly.

    It is like having been shot. You might take a bunch of pain killers and keep the pain at bay, but in the mean time the wound is bleeding and getting infected, and before long you are in serious trouble. Similarly, by not dealing with your problems appropriately, you might be setting yourself up for a full blown mental emergency which will be very difficult to get out of.

    The best thing for you, as others have suggested, is to seek professional help. You might not think that it will help, but often simply having someone to talk to about whatever you like can be of tremendous benefit. I urge you to seek professional help as soon as you are able in order to spare yourself from something much worse down the road. Cutting yourself and weed are NOT permanent solutions.

    It's not a solution, I just happened to stop cutting myself after I smoked. I don't smoke for the reason, to not cut myself. I smoke for the same reason I go out. To have fun. Not cutting myself is just a side effect of weed. I don't smoke to deal with being sad, I smoke to have a good time.

    Even if I did smoke, to stop cutting myself, it isn't bad. If music made me stop cutting myself, would it be bad? No.
    Last edited by Weterman; April 23rd, 2014 at 01:33 PM.
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    The effects on the body from music and pot differ substantially, so your question is unanswerable.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flick Montana View Post
    The effects on the body from music and pot differ substantially, so your question is unanswerable.
    What is unhealthy about pot?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Weterman View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Flick Montana View Post
    The effects on the body from music and pot differ substantially, so your question is unanswerable.
    What is unhealthy about pot?
    Seriously?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flick Montana View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Weterman View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Flick Montana View Post
    The effects on the body from music and pot differ substantially, so your question is unanswerable.
    What is unhealthy about pot?
    Seriously?
    Yes, tell me please.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Weterman View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Flick Montana View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Weterman View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Flick Montana View Post
    The effects on the body from music and pot differ substantially, so your question is unanswerable.
    What is unhealthy about pot?
    Seriously?
    Yes, tell me please.
    It makes it very difficult to do things when you are stoned.
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    to answer the original question, depression causes the following symptons: weight loss, poor sleep, anhedonia, suicidality. If you are sad and have some of those symptoms see a psych professional.

    On the question of what harm pot does: It causes loss of mental acuity. The loss extends beyond the time when the user is "high" and affects his ablity to handel precis thinking problems , like math, even when he thinks he is straight. This was demonstrated by a group of nurses who used pot and had to stop because they found themselves not to be able to calculate dosages correctly.

    This was not a formal study, you can't look it up, I just happen to know the people involved.
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