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Thread: I feel 'weird'.

  1. #1 I feel 'weird'. 
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    Hello everyone, lately I am having some peculiar periods of depression, emptiness, I am in state where everything seems stupid,pointless and I have no idea what should I do.

    1. Everything seems pointless for me, we are here by pure coincidence, we've evolved over 4.3 million years and developed consciousness, language, we even created false ideologies just to make our lives have purpose. We are simply animals that are way more evolved then other animals and we just interfere with our ecosystems and set up all these false values and ideals that really make no sense, any reason I try to find for my existence always hit the same wall, it's just a product of our mind to find any purpose for our existence.

    I used to believe that helping other people is a good ideology to live by because it has mutual benefits for you and for the people around you, but than again it's not different from religion, or believing that having wealth, a good job and a glory are the main reason to live for, or any other ideology that we create to satisfy our answers.

    2. I used to be very social and communicative, people often said that I am one of the happiest person they know, and one of the person that doesn't care for anything. I enjoyed being in company, but it's totally different now I have no idea what changed, I think everything I say would be stupid even everything that other people said is usually stupid. I don't find other people interesting anymore, neither I find myself interesting.. I am trapped and lost.

    3. Why am I coward? And when I say coward I mean when it comes to emotions. I never felt that I am in love, I am extremely curious and open to any kind of experience, I had many girls even I interacted with boys but I never get close to people emotionally, it's very hard for me to suffer for something or someone, even when some of close people I know die I am acting like nothing happened..


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    It's not at all unusual to go through periods of time, when we question 'why am I here?' or 'what is the purpose of my life?' If you don't follow religion, that can be an even more difficult task to answer. Religion and the idea of God, sometimes fills in the gaps that people who are not religious, have to fill in themselves. When I was religious, I remember 'the purpose of life' being a bit easier to answer, but I still had those days of doubt, and confusion, so it's not fool proof. Now, I'm agnostic, and finding the answers to questions that were once provided to me, at times, can be challenging, but it is worth it because the growth we go through during these moments, is priceless. First, a few questions: How is your diet/nutrition? How is the quality of your sleep? Are you sleeping enough? Are you exercising? How is your professional/school life? How is your personal life? A number of physical and emotional things can come into play, that can cause us to feel a bit ''off kilter,'' so to speak. It's not uncommon for an imbalance in one or more of those areas, to cause us to feel apathetic to life, in general. If everything seems healthy and balanced in those areas that I've questioned, then maybe you could use a good book, to give you some perspective. Man's Search for Meaning, by Viktor Frankl is honestly, in my opinion, a life altering book. Frankl experienced life in the Nazi concentration work camps, and shares his stories with the reader. It is a very atypical read though, for that genre...and that is all I'll say about it, as to not spoil it. But, it's brilliantly written, and remarkably humbling. I highly recommend it to anyone who might be struggling with everyday 'life' issues, as you are. Frankl talks about God in his book, but it's not a religious book by any stretch, nor does Frankl intend it to be as such. You are not alone in your feelings, just know that. No man or woman is an island. Hope this helps you a bit.


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    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousMind View Post
    Hello everyone, lately I am having some peculiar periods of depression, emptiness, I am in state where everything seems stupid,pointless and I have no idea what should I do.
    The problem I see here is that you may be focusing too much on yourself. Volunteer at the local soup kitchen or animal shelter, and allow others to give you purpose if you are having difficulty finding one.

    [inappropriate advice deleted]
    Last edited by adelady; November 7th, 2013 at 05:59 PM. Reason: see below
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    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousMind View Post
    Hello everyone, lately I am having some peculiar periods of depression, emptiness, I am in state where everything seems stupid,pointless and I have no idea what should I do.1. Everything seems pointless for me, we are here by pure coincidence, we've evolved over 4.3 million years and developed consciousness, language, we even created false ideologies just to make our lives have purpose. We are simply animals that are way more evolved then other animals and we just interfere with our ecosystems and set up all these false values and ideals that really make no sense, any reason I try to find for my existence always hit the same wall, it's just a product of our mind to find any purpose for our existence.I used to believe that helping other people is a good ideology to live by because it has mutual benefits for you and for the people around you, but than again it's not different from religion, or believing that having wealth, a good job and a glory are the main reason to live for, or any other ideology that we create to satisfy our answers. 2. I used to be very social and communicative, people often said that I am one of the happiest person they know, and one of the person that doesn't care for anything. I enjoyed being in company, but it's totally different now I have no idea what changed, I think everything I say would be stupid even everything that other people said is usually stupid. I don't find other people interesting anymore, neither I find myself interesting.. I am trapped and lost. 3. Why am I coward? And when I say coward I mean when it comes to emotions. I never felt that I am in love, I am extremely curious and open to any kind of experience, I had many girls even I interacted with boys but I never get close to people emotionally, it's very hard for me to suffer for something or someone, even when some of close people I know die I am acting like nothing happened..
    What you describe sounds just like me a few years ago (and even now at times). If you continue this materialistic philosophy you may find yourself stuck with depression. It's not fun, it's delusional, and it's a detriment to yourself and anyone around you. So what if all we feel is based on evolutionary means of surviving? It doesn't make what we think or feel any less real. We are indeed the result of the random collocation of matter, but is that not beautiful and remarkable in itself? Our species will end eventually, all our works destroyed. Yet, despite the fact that it lasts but a brief few moments before disappearing, I love the sunset. Life can be viewed similarly, a temporary beauty, its inevitable demise need not detract from the splendor.
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    Quote Originally Posted by scoobydoo1 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousMind View Post
    Hello everyone, lately I am having some peculiar periods of depression, emptiness, I am in state where everything seems stupid,pointless and I have no idea what should I do.
    The problem I see here is that you may be focusing too much on yourself. Volunteer at the local soup kitchen or animal shelter, and allow others to give you purpose if you are having difficulty finding one.
    Ok I was reading what you put and thought great advice, CuriousMind sounds like he might be suffering from depression and should speak firstly with his doctor, but also the volunteering you speak of is great advice, really approve of that.


    Quote Originally Posted by scoobydoo1 View Post
    If that doesn't satisfy your needs sufficiently, I'm sure there are no lack of highrise buildings or fast moving vehicles that facilities a convenient exit strategy; and Yes, I am being serious.
    This last comment however I certainly don't approve of and would strongly recommend against such comments to anyone showing any signs of depression, even in jest!
    Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it. - confucius
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  7. #6  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ascended View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by scoobydoo1 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousMind View Post
    Hello everyone, lately I am having some peculiar periods of depression, emptiness, I am in state where everything seems stupid,pointless and I have no idea what should I do.
    The problem I see here is that you may be focusing too much on yourself. Volunteer at the local soup kitchen or animal shelter, and allow others to give you purpose if you are having difficulty finding one.
    Ok I was reading what you put and thought great advice, CuriousMind sounds like he might be suffering from depression and should speak firstly with his doctor, but also the volunteering you speak of is great advice, really approve of that.


    Quote Originally Posted by scoobydoo1 View Post
    If that doesn't satisfy your needs sufficiently, I'm sure there are no lack of highrise buildings or fast moving vehicles that facilities a convenient exit strategy; and Yes, I am being serious.
    This last comment however I certainly don't approve of and would strongly recommend against such comments to anyone showing any signs of depression, even in jest!
    I sped through, and didn't see that part. Scooby!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ascended View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by scoobydoo1 View Post
    If that doesn't satisfy your needs sufficiently, I'm sure there are no lack of highrise buildings or fast moving vehicles that facilities a convenient exit strategy; and Yes, I am being serious.
    This last comment however I certainly don't approve of and would strongly recommend against such comments to anyone showing any signs of depression, even in jest!
    I have actually wrestled with myself whether it was bad form to offer it,

    [deleted]
    Last edited by adelady; November 7th, 2013 at 06:00 PM. Reason: see below
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    I would say you have lost your value, you are full but empty, the pot is cooking but the food is never enough. You have filled yourself with emotional and material gunk and you live in a surrounding that offers little on fertilization.

    I would suggest you don't do nothing but observe yourself. Do not fight the feeling but observe it, whatever you tell you allow it to happen. You will not get results in a flash but slowly you will see a change. Allow yourself to refill with nothing, I am sure it will not be so easy because you have been telling yourself you are good, now you must give yourself a chance to be bad. You are trying to compensate but your mind will not allow it because it has taken command. There is more to life that food, water, and air, but each time you reach that place of peace, you fear it. Stop fearing yourself and allow yourself to reveal it. You may want to cry so cry, you may want to dance so dance just stop fighting and observe yourself. As soon as you start to observe yourself you will get release.
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    It can be an uncomfortable place to stand, at the point of knowledge that outside of physical circumstance there is no pre-determined context for our cognitive experience. My own ritual of introspection is going for a walk. After a while, I get hungry and go home and eat something.

    Edit; Hmm... Cross-posted with above, really have no idea what Stargate is going on about.
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    Quote Originally Posted by GiantEvil View Post
    It can be an uncomfortable place to stand, at the point of knowledge that outside of physical circumstance there is no pre-determined context for our cognitive experience. My own ritual of introspection is going for a walk. After a while, I get hungry and go home and eat something.

    Edit; Hmm... Cross-posted with above, really have no idea what Stargate is going on about.
    Well, if you do not know what I am going on about I will not intervene, just forget what I said.
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    This is an online forum. None of us can know any member's situation well enough to give professional advice even if we were competent to do so.

    When people say openly that they are depressed or distressed we can talk about existential angst in general terms and in how we live our own lives. We can talk about different approaches and activities that can make life meaningful or happy for people generally.

    But when it comes to recommending courses of action we should take the same approach as newspaper or magazine advice columns. Tell them to look for a good therapist or a student/marriage counsellor or a kind and helpful friend to talk about their problems. And nothing more.

    It is not and never will be acceptable in these forums to advise someone to kill themselves for as long as I'm a moderator.

    (And if it ever is acceptable I will no longer participate in any capacity.)
    "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." Winston Churchill
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    Thanks for all fast replies , there are many posts so I won't quote one by one, instead my post will refer to all.

    @Scooby, I am not suicidal at all, I really do enjoy life, I enjoy the basic things like eating,sleeping,observing things, learning something new, I know to enjoy every moment of life, even the bad things. I felt this way before, the good thing is always fade away really fast, but the main problem is they are keep coming and coming and the intervals between them is just less and less.
    For instance right now I feel really great and satisfied.

    You wouldn't believe how much I am trying to find something to keep me attached, I had infinite number of activities in my life but the main problem is I get easily bored and I need something new , I was even really good at some, I was pro gamer when I was a kid in many games , I even participated in world cyber games in few games (Counter Strike, WarCraft and Dota) I tried myself in many sports I became quite good chess player and excellent swimmer ( participated on many tournaments ), I felt in love with learning at one period of my time ( this still holds a place ) I had periods when I was stuck in my home for weeks, reading,learning and experimenting.

    I even tried drugs, at one period of time I frequently used lsd and other hallucinogenic drugs and spent much time in nature trying to find a deeper purpose of everything and simply enjoying in the power of 'now'. Bleh.

    My father has an entrepreneurship, and most likely I'll end up doing what is he doing ( That job is long tradition in my family, even more then 200 years ) but I despite that fact, I really do not find myself in need to have money. I am easily satisfied with low amount of money. I am ambitious but in some other segments of life.

    One more problem is my asexuality lately, after I have sex I feel really bad, depressed. I feel like an animal that fulfilled her primitive needs. P.S I am very aware of fact that it still is just a primitive drive but we should enjoy in it and I often do, it's just wrong lately.

    @Stargate Actually I should observe myself a little bit more, I know very little about myself sometimes I have a feeling that I know more about other people then I know about myself ( I think it is because I have less information about other people then I have about myself)
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    Curiousmind

    @Stargate Actually I should observe myself a little bit more, I know very little about myself sometimes I have a feeling that I know more about other people then I know about myself ( I think it is because I have less information about other people then I have about myself)


    That is the point I was trying to make, I do not usually say what I said to you to other people, but I went through some hell some time ago, what I found out was I gave too much and did not have enough left for myself. I received help in way of learning to observe myself. At first I thought it was stupid and did not want to go through something I had no idea what it meant, but after a while I resorted to it because I did not have anything else that is how I recovered. There is really nothing wrong with you than anyone else, we all have these over runs in our lives sometimes.


    Curiousmind, just observe yourself and get to know you a little better, you cannot know anyone if you do not know yourself. Just give yourself a little study instead of studying other people at least for now until you feel better.
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    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousMind View Post
    I am not suicidal at all, I really do enjoy life, I enjoy the basic things like eating,sleeping,observing things, learning something new, I know to enjoy every moment of life, even the bad things. I felt this way before, the good thing is always fade away really fast, but the main problem is they are keep coming and coming and the intervals between them is just less and less.
    For instance right now I feel really great and satisfied.

    You wouldn't believe how much I am trying to find something to keep me attached, I had infinite number of activities in my life but the main problem is I get easily bored and I need something new , I was even really good at some, I was pro gamer when I was a kid in many games , I even participated in world cyber games in few games (Counter Strike, WarCraft and Dota) I tried myself in many sports I became quite good chess player and excellent swimmer ( participated on many tournaments ), I felt in love with learning at one period of my time ( this still holds a place ) I had periods when I was stuck in my home for weeks, reading,learning and experimenting.

    I even tried drugs, at one period of time I frequently used lsd and other hallucinogenic drugs and spent much time in nature trying to find a deeper purpose of everything and simply enjoying in the power of 'now'. Bleh.

    My father has an entrepreneurship, and most likely I'll end up doing what is he doing ( That job is long tradition in my family, even more then 200 years ) but I despite that fact, I really do not find myself in need to have money. I am easily satisfied with low amount of money. I am ambitious but in some other segments of life.

    One more problem is my asexuality lately, after I have sex I feel really bad, depressed. I feel like an animal that fulfilled her primitive needs. P.S I am very aware of fact that it still is just a primitive drive but we should enjoy in it and I often do, it's just wrong lately.
    Thank you for sharing, and while I do have some questions and comments on some things I've noted, I do not think my participation is welcomed at this point if I were to continue our conservation.


    @ adelady, Message received. I will discontinue any contact between CuriousMind and myself.
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    Hello CuriousMind, I was in your skin few years ago and I can totally relate to almost all your problems, I can't give you an exit from that state, but I can share with you my experience.

    For a few months I was in the very same condition like you described , I shared nihilistic point of view but believe me there's nothing good in it, it can be very destructive, primary for you and than for the people around you, it's true that we're here by pure coincidence and that we created many ideologies just to justify the purpose of your existence, but isn't the beauty in that? If you look at other animals they are living only to satisfy their primitive needs, to reproduce,to eat,to sleep.

    In the period of our existence we created many ideologies and we choose to follow one which seems the right one, you can even create the meaning of life by yourself.

    I can see relation in two posts you mentioned, 'why am I coward when it comes to emotions' and 'why am I asexual lately'. You said that you're 'incapable' to love or to be loved duo to some unknown reason, and at the other side you said that you don't find yourself after sex feeling like an animal that satisfied her primitive needs. You're right, you indeed just satisfied your primitive animal needs, because there were no emotions involved in sex, maybe that can be the cause of your depression.

    I used to be emotional maimed as well, but I dig deep to find what caused that, try digging in your childhood, it could be anything. Maybe some trauma, unrequited love, or the problem could lie in society and , I remember myself in primary school, oh it would be so wrong to say that you're in love or that you are going out with a girl. But after all try to define love, what you consider by being in love or being loved?

    P.S Every human being feel fear unless they suffer of some disorder, it just that some people manage to fight fear.

    P.S.S You are human being, curious by it's nature and it seems that society didn't crushed your curiosity, it could be a good and a bad thing. You can easily get addicted to some type of adrenaline (you're changing activities frequently) but I hope you'll find something that will keep your attention a little longer.

    Do you know what troubles me? We created god and now god is controlling us, we created money and now we live by money rules, we created machines and machines are commanding us. We are specific and very powerful beings, but we are very often not aware of that fact. At least I want to believe that. Cheers.
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    @Scooby please continue I would like to hear those questions.

    @HB3l1 That's nice assumption , and nice correlation between why I am scared to show emotions and why I feel quite asexual lately and I completely agree with you on this one , but still it doesn't help me.. I even tried to find what caused this state but it didn't went good..
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    curiousmind, I know that most of us think this is probably just a temporary thing that you'll get through reasonably soon, but there's a couple of things worth checking out.

    See a doctor. There are a couple of almost minor medical conditions that might give rise to these kinds of episodes. Prime candidates would be a Vitamin D deficiency - very common in people who work indoors, or a thyroid deficiency which can be temporary but is often long term but is very very simply managed. A doctor might pick up other things, but a routine blood test can pick up the most common issues without much fuss.

    If that doesn't discover anything easily remedied, try a counsellor or an exercise program or something that makes you feel that you're taking active control of your own well-being. (And if you "can't be bothered" doing anything like that, in your position I'd seriously consider going back to the doctor for treatment for depression. Depression is not so much about feeling unhappy, but more about feeling a bit disconnected and unable or unwilling to do much at all.)
    "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." Winston Churchill
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    Curious Mind, I admit up front I didn't even read your entire OP. I felt I didn't need to. I felt you were saying something quite simple: I am in pain and I don't know what to do.

    If I got that right all I have to offer is this. Several individuals, spread across this planet, who don't know you from a hole in the ground, took time to try to give you some measure of support. That, surely, has to be worth something. And if the only thing this forum ever did was to create a situation where you felt slightly less alone, then the forum was worthwhile.

    Just my thoughts on it.
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    most people in real life and also on internet will give you the most cliché bull**** advice... they will probally say go make friends... go in between people buy a dog... volunteer and such... go in search for professional help etc etc... but I know extacly what you need
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    Quote Originally Posted by blackscorp View Post
    most people in real life and also on internet will give you the most cliché bull**** advice... they will probally say go make friends... go in between people buy a dog... volunteer and such... go in search for professional help etc etc... but I know extacly what you need
    That may be just one side of it; there are those who are genuinely trying to help. Even in those circumstances when they give you Bull---it, it is out of concern.
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    Quote Originally Posted by blackscorp View Post
    most people in real life and also on internet will give you the most cliché bull**** advice... they will probally say go make friends... go in between people buy a dog... volunteer and such... go in search for professional help etc etc... but I know extacly what you need
    Ok bear in mind here I've now got tooth marks in my tongue after reading your post, I'm going to exercise as much restraint here as I can manage.

    Do think perhaps your post is slightly insulting to all the well meaning people that are offering genuine advice to give comfort, help & support?, admittedly I didn't approve of scoobydoo1's last comment in his advice, but I certainly do believe it was at least well intentioned. People have been trying to help. The advice offered about volunteering, meeting new people & seeking professional advice/help ect... certainly 'isn't' "bull*****" as you put it. Ok whilst this may not work for everyone certainly it most definately would help many.

    But perhaps the single most irritating thing I have to take issue with is your last comment, "but I know extacly what you need", you finished your post with this doozy, as if you and nobody else had the perfect solution or answer, yet did you share it with CuriousMind? Oh no, you choose not to, well that was oh so very helpful!
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    in short you find me irritating?
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    Quote Originally Posted by blackscorp View Post
    in short you find me irritating?
    I just think you can engage your brain a bit better before making posts such as that one, but yes that post did certainly irratate me, imagine it from a different perspective that perhaps you were either asking for advice or offering it to help somebody else out and somebody else came along and posted what you posted, would you not find that most irratating also?
    Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it. - confucius
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ascended View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by blackscorp View Post
    in short you find me irritating?
    I just think you can engage your brain a bit better before making posts such as that one, but yes that post did certainly irratate me, imagine it from a different perspective that perhaps you were either asking for advice or offering it to help somebody else out and somebody else came along and posted what you posted, would you not find that most irratating also?
    I could but not necessary that I would
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    Quote Originally Posted by blackscorp View Post
    in short you find me irritating?
    I would not say irritating; I think you could have taken the thought a little farther and look at yourself in such a situation that always helps. If you are ever in doubt about responding to any matter, try to put yourself in that situation and you will be satisfied you have done the best you could. I fully understand what Ascended is saying.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stargate View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by blackscorp View Post
    in short you find me irritating?
    I would not say irritating; I think you could have taken the thought a little farther and look at yourself in such a situation that always helps. If you are ever in doubt about responding to any matter, try to put yourself in that situation and you will be satisfied you have done the best you could. I fully understand what Ascended is saying.
    I don't doubt...
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    Quote Originally Posted by blackscorp View Post
    in short you find me irritating?
    I think rude, arrogant, anti-social and ignorant would be closer to the mark from my perspective. I speak as a member. My moderator warning to you on another thread has been much more measured.
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    Quote Originally Posted by John Galt View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by blackscorp View Post
    in short you find me irritating?
    I think rude, arrogant, anti-social and ignorant would be closer to the mark from my perspective. I speak as a member. My moderator warning to you on another thread has been much more measured.
    everyone his own opinion... I don't sleep worser... but than or you are very bad reader or totally lack of people knowledge...and I wont discuss your smartness...
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  30. #29  
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    Sometimes I feel that too. What I'm doing when I'm in that mood? I keep myself busy doing things that make me feel happy. If you are happy you didn't feel that way. Cheers!
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  31. #30  
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    Have you communicated with your family? If so, It's common. Everyone has a failure event in the public eye.
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