
Originally Posted by
wegs

Originally Posted by
Tranquille

Originally Posted by
wegs
Yes, all the lies. Pathological lying.
And I didn't find out most of them until we were over. That is why healing took a while. The strangest lie he told me was that a coworker of his committed suicide. I found out later it was a lie. There were so many to name but why lie about that?
Thankfully....we are away from them, BR!
Pain is a good teacher. You won't forget the lesson.

It's about control. The lying is to keep you focused on them. Telling you that a co-worker passed away ensures that he maintains your attention and sympathy. It is a manipulative tool. Usually this is accompanied by trying to draw you away from your friends and family.
Or worse, they do things to show you just how much they love you. Sometimes towards the people they know you love and they tell you why they are doing it. Because they love you so much. And then they start to point things out to you that they observed, lies designed to make you trust them and not your loved ones. They then start keeping tabs on you. If you are out without them, they call you and sms you constantly, you know... just to check in. To keep telling you how much they love you. What friends and family you have left tell you how lucky you are to have someone who loves you that much. That they let you do these things with them, without him. Until he starts to lie about them as well and point things out to you that he knows would make you turn away from them.
The lies are designed to manipulate you and your emotions.
By the time you leave, by the time you realise, you start on this journey of asking yourself where it all went wrong. What could you have done differently. And you start to break things down into little pieces and you start to see the lies. And the worst pain commences after you realise just how much you were taken in by the lies. And the cycle of self blame begins.
That is probably why the healing takes a while.
this post was phenomenal, thank you so much. i have tears in my eyes reading it. it brings back a lot. but, i don't have emotional attachment to it all, anymore...but i just remember things from time to time...your words here are so very comforting.

Originally Posted by
babe

Originally Posted by
wegs
Yes, all the lies. Pathological lying.
And I didn't find out most of them until we were over. That is why healing took a while. The strangest lie he told me was that a coworker of his committed suicide. I found out later it was a lie. There were so many to name but why lie about that?
Thankfully....we are away from them, BR!
Pain is a good teacher. You won't forget the lesson.

I am sorry for your experience.
I am grateful that have never had that happen to me.
Good that you are doing better!!!
thank you so much for this, babe! you are so sweet.

the only thing that still lingers? is i have trust issues, now. hopefully, i'll learn to let my guard down ...
hope you are doing well!
One needs to use our brain, along with our hearts.
You will know, in your heart, and with your brain, when to trust.
If something seems to hit a warning signal? Then listen and evaluate that signal.
We have all been hurt in some way in life, in those lines, and some more extensively than others.
But to be afraid to love, or let it in, isn't good either.
Be open, and trust that your experience has taught you enough to send up red flags!
I am ok.
Today was my nephews 39th birthday. I am quite emotional.
Riding a major high from my success last night of my first ever show that I produced and acted in, that was a huge success, with a sold out crowd and people turned away.......
and then the other side.....grieving and feeling for my sister's loss of her only child...
Funny how life hands you this euphoria and then the sobering reality that is well *laughing* REALITY!
However on a high note.
My husband got home early today and there was a doorbell ring.
He answered it and here is someone who he doesn't know at all. She introduced herself as one of our elderly neighbors (a few acres down) daughter, who is taking care of her father.
She came to see me, and tell me personally how much she loved our performance and how it touched her.
It made my day.
My performance was dedicated to my nephew.