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Thread: Severe, Debilitating Depression

  1. #1 Severe, Debilitating Depression 
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    I will write this if my emotions will allow me to do so. For now, I'm ok...I see that my fingers are working although I'm barely aware of it at this point...I can't go on living the way I've been living. I just broke up with an ex who cared more for me than anyone else before in my life...she would have died for me...but I knew we weren't meant for each other and, despite this, I let things drag on for nearly three years on and off...I wanted it to work out so bad even though we were just too different...I needed someone in my life...I STILL need someone in my life...I have no car, no job, no house...and she would drive 45 minutes from her home to visit me...she has no idea how much it kills me inside to let her go...despite our frequent fights, it felt good being with her at times...it motivated me knowing I was going to have someone to share my future life and accomplishments with...no one else wanted to date me...I tried asking out dozens of women and they all turned me down (except one, who was mentally unstable)...she was the only one who ever truly, deeply loved me...I am so alone and depressed right now because I feel that not even employers want me..no one will hire me...no one values the qualities I have...no one cares about my intelligence, my kindness or passion...how can this change?


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  3. #2  
    Anti-Crank AlexG's Avatar
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    Mevacor or Zoloft. Or any other anti-depressant. They take a few weeks to kick in, but they really do work.


    Its the way nature is!
    If you dont like it, go somewhere else....
    To another universe, where the rules are simpler
    Philosophically more pleasing, more psychologically easy
    Prof Richard Feynman (1979) .....

    Das ist nicht nur nicht richtig, es ist nicht einmal falsch!"
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  4. #3  
    Genius Duck Moderator Dywyddyr's Avatar
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    Two points, neither of which will come across as particularly sympathetic.
    1) Go to a doctor, raise the subject, get treatment.
    2) If you can be bothered (and actually have the energy) to write about it then you aren't going through "debilitating depression".
    2a) If you don't get treatment then you may well end up finding out exactly how debilitating depression really can be.
    "[Dywyddyr] makes a grumpy bastard like me seem like a happy go lucky scamp" - PhDemon
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  5. #4  
    Forum Radioactive Isotope cosmictraveler's Avatar
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    To understand yourself seek what is inside of YOU not what is inside others for they can't walk in your shoes, only you can do that. You try to understand your own problems through someone else but if you can't take the time to see those troubles then why should others? That said you could ask a professional for help to find a way for you to better control yourself and your desires. But it still comes down to you finding why it is you are the way you are which takes time and understanding.
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  6. #5  
    Administrator KALSTER's Avatar
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    Think about where you were just 5 years ago Mike. Did you ever think you'd be where you are today? YOU made that happen and you should be proud of yourself! Now you are faced with a new set of obstacles, just like we all are. That is life. But you can get through this. You have done it before and you can do it again.

    You know this depression is chemical. You know the science. So get the needed help to fix it. That is your biggest obstacle at the moment, but you can fix that too.

    I have honest faith in you Mike. Don't let this beat you. You are stronger than that
    Disclaimer: I do not declare myself to be an expert on ANY subject. If I state something as fact that is obviously wrong, please don't hesitate to correct me. I welcome such corrections in an attempt to be as truthful and accurate as possible.

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  7. #6  
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    1) Go to a doctor, raise the subject, get treatment.
    2) If you can be bothered (and actually have the energy) to write about it then you aren't going through "debilitating depression".
    2a) If you don't get treatment then you may well end up finding out exactly how debilitating depression really can be.
    First of all, you're an asshole.

    1.) Been to many doctors. I'm on meds and still a wreck.

    2.) I can't work. I have no friends. I feel life is pointless. I sleep my life away. I am on the verge of tears for at least 8 hours everyday. Is that not debilitating enough for you?
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  8. #7  
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    Thanks Kalster.
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  9. #8  
    Genius Duck Moderator Dywyddyr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mikepotter84 View Post
    First of all, you're an asshole.
    Oh dear, you missed the point.

    1.) Been to many doctors. I'm on meds and still a wreck.
    2.) I can't work. I have no friends. I feel life is pointless. I sleep my life away. I am on the verge of tears for at least 8 hours everyday. Is that not debilitating enough for you?
    Yeah?
    It can get worse, much worse, than what you're you're going through.
    Try six f*cking years of it, sunshine. "Verge" of tears is NOT debilitating depression.
    "[Dywyddyr] makes a grumpy bastard like me seem like a happy go lucky scamp" - PhDemon
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  10. #9  
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    This isn't supposed to be a competition but since you brought it up, try 13 fucking years of depression and nearly constant panic attacks for 5 years. Try being afraid to leave home or even be a passenger in a car. There is a pain worse than tears which I hope you never have to experience. I thought I was having a fucking heart attack on several occasions. In my mind I KNEW I was going to die. You don't know FEAR motherfucker. And I despise your condescending "sunshine" comment..who the hell do you think you are?
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  11. #10  
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    I don't mean to be base, but when i was depressed, either intellectual stimulation, or just getting laid, always brought me through.
    A walk in the woods with the dog du jour tossing sticks, stopping and petting, and interacting with another living being. The concept doing without doing---meaning do something else, and the needed thing gets done, or putting your mind to things outside yourself, favors diminishment of the interior torment.

    A little west of you are the great smoky mountains. A long hike there, inhaling the scents of the forests and etc... enjoying a delight for the eyes, might be of benefit?
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  12. #11  
    Genius Duck Moderator Dywyddyr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mikepotter84 View Post
    And I despise your condescending "sunshine" comment.
    Yeah, but then again "asshole" isn't condescending or offensive, is it?

    who the hell do you think you are?
    Me?
    I'm the guy that pointed out:
    Quote Originally Posted by Dywyddyr View Post
    If you can be bothered (and actually have the energy) to write about it then you aren't going through "debilitating depression".
    Bye.
    "[Dywyddyr] makes a grumpy bastard like me seem like a happy go lucky scamp" - PhDemon
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  13. #12  
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    Good riddance to bad rubbish.
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  14. #13  
    Malignant Pimple shlunka's Avatar
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    I would recommend seeing a psychologist for some sessions if you can, it helped me stay functional "and alive". You may also benefit from finding another psychiatrist, or at least confront the current one about the medications lack of efficacy. In the meantime, be thankful that you can still function. Depression crippled me to the point of perpetual rumination, I wouldn't have been able to write an OP about it. STOP THIS BEFORE IT PROGRESSES FURTHER. It may seem bad now, but I assure you that these issues may be a cakewalk compared to constant suicidality. If nothing else, something that occasionally assisted me "Marginally, but they, nothing's gonna do much" was throwing myself into hobbies. Hope you build yourself back up mate.
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  15. #14  
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    Thanks. People experience and cope with depression in many different ways. I don't think that you are fair to use the word "cakewalk" here. Not everyone is suicidal but there are other problems to deal with. I wanted to live but I felt I would certainly die due to palpitations, cold sensations and the tightness I felt in my chest and arms. I'm not exaggerating. I went to the hospital on a few occasions. How old are you, like 17? No offense but you likely have no idea what I've been through.
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  16. #15  
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    Quote Originally Posted by mikepotter84 View Post
    Thanks. People experience and cope with depression in many different ways. I don't think that you are fair to use the word "cakewalk" here. Not everyone is suicidal but there are other problems to deal with. I wanted to live but I felt I would certainly die due to palpitations, cold sensations and the tightness I felt in my chest and arms. I'm not exaggerating. I went to the hospital on a few occasions. How old are you, like 17? No offense but you likely have no idea what I've been through.
    I probably don't, our worries/symptoms seem to be very different, as well as duration. But, depression doesn't discriminate against particular ages, or much else really. Personal attachment may help you a bit, considering you seemed to have lost a primary contributor of sentiment, but that's a bit easier said than done when psychologically incapacitated. Best of luck though.
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  17. #16  
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    Thanks.
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  18. #17  
    Forum Ph.D.
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    Things that may help: 1) talk to your doctors about your antidepressent meds, if they are not working then they need to be changed. 2) re anxiety, it feels horrible but no one ever died of anxiety. Exposure therapy may help. Martial arts helps others, it depends on what is at the root of your anxiety. 3) Work. If possible, paid work. If not then volunteer work. Something that makes you get up and go out and function. Even if the work you are doing is way below your educational level. In our society nothing say you have value like a pay check. If you don't have marketable skills, volunteer! People will train free help! 5) Get therapy. If the first therapist does not click with you then try another.

    I know you don't want to hear this but if you can still eat and sleep, your depression can get worse.
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  19. #18  
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    I have trouble sleeping actually. Also, some people eat more when depressed, not less. What is the point of telling me "it can get worse"? It comes off to me as snarky. It is like you are saying "oh, you haven't had it that bad, depression isn't severe until and unless you can't eat or sleep". Many of you are stereotyping and not well educated concerning what depression is apparently.
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  20. #19  
    Universal Mind John Galt's Avatar
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    Sculptor made a passing comment I would like you to take a closer look at. Before I developed health issues, if I was feeling down (and I know depression is orders of magnitude greater) I would go running. When I was focused on finding breath and fighting the pain in legs and chest there was no room for other emotions. Please give it some thought. It may only provide temporary release, but that may give you the mental breather you need to start getting back on track.

    I wish you well.
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  21. #20  
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    Sculptor
    A walk in the woods with the dog du jour tossing sticks, stopping and petting, and interacting with another living being. The concept doing without doing---meaning do something else, and the needed thing gets done, or putting your mind to things outside yourself, favors diminishment of the interior torment.
    jg
    Before I developed health issues, if I was feeling down (and I know depression is orders of magnitude greater) I would go running.
    I suspect mike's not up to this approach yet. He sounds a bit to me as though being able to go for a walk or a run would be a boon if, and only a big if, he could summon the will to do it. And depression can take away your will to get out of bed or shower or get dressed, let alone to exert yourself.

    I really think the doc is the first port of call. Changing meds/dose of current meds would be a first line of attack. Very hard to follow through because you're likely to have to go for a few weeks to see any results but worth it if it pays off.

    The other thing while you're there is to get an all-purpose health check. You might be low on iron or vitamin D or show any number of other quite routine, non-lethal conditions. They could be an underlying contributor to your depression or exacerbate any fatigue or insomnia or other symptoms depression sufferers attribute entirely to the depression. Seeing as you're feeling so low at the moment, relieving just 5 or 10% of the black weight bearing down on you would be A Good Thing. Getting a good night's sleep reasonably often would improve your situation tremendously.

    Good luck. Take care.
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  22. #21  
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    Quote Originally Posted by mikepotter84 View Post
    I will write this if my emotions will allow me to do so. For now, I'm ok...I see that my fingers are working although I'm barely aware of it at this point...I can't go on living the way I've been living. I just broke up with an ex who cared more for me than anyone else before in my life...she would have died for me...but I knew we weren't meant for each other and, despite this, I let things drag on for nearly three years on and off...I wanted it to work out so bad even though we were just too different...I needed someone in my life...I STILL need someone in my life...I have no car, no job, no house...and she would drive 45 minutes from her home to visit me...she has no idea how much it kills me inside to let her go...despite our frequent fights, it felt good being with her at times...it motivated me knowing I was going to have someone to share my future life and accomplishments with...no one else wanted to date me...I tried asking out dozens of women and they all turned me down (except one, who was mentally unstable)...she was the only one who ever truly, deeply loved me...I am so alone and depressed right now because I feel that not even employers want me..no one will hire me...no one values the qualities I have...no one cares about my intelligence, my kindness or passion...how can this change?
    Please get some help. I have had those near and dear to me have these feelings. Antidepressants can help. Please PLEASE seek help.
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  23. #22  
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    Quote Originally Posted by John Galt View Post
    Sculptor made a passing comment I would like you to take a closer look at. Before I developed health issues, if I was feeling down (and I know depression is orders of magnitude greater) I would go running. When I was focused on finding breath and fighting the pain in legs and chest there was no room for other emotions. Please give it some thought. It may only provide temporary release, but that may give you the mental breather you need to start getting back on track.

    I wish you well.
    They now say, that exercise helps...especially for some reason walking. I don't had an episode of depression after my niece's murder that was followed by my MIL's death from cancer. Exercise is a good suggestion.
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  24. #23  
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    Quote Originally Posted by babe View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by John Galt View Post
    Sculptor made a passing comment I would like you to take a closer look at. Before I developed health issues, if I was feeling down (and I know depression is orders of magnitude greater) I would go running. When I was focused on finding breath and fighting the pain in legs and chest there was no room for other emotions. Please give it some thought. It may only provide temporary release, but that may give you the mental breather you need to start getting back on track.

    I wish you well.
    They now say, that exercise helps...especially for some reason walking. I don't had an episode of depression after my niece's murder that was followed by my MIL's death from cancer. Exercise is a good suggestion.
    I have been working out. It seems to be the only way to relieve symptoms. I think I just let my body go and I am unhealthy but I'm working on getting better. I am sorry for your losses.
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  25. #24  
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    Quote Originally Posted by mikepotter84 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by babe View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by John Galt View Post
    Sculptor made a passing comment I would like you to take a closer look at. Before I developed health issues, if I was feeling down (and I know depression is orders of magnitude greater) I would go running. When I was focused on finding breath and fighting the pain in legs and chest there was no room for other emotions. Please give it some thought. It may only provide temporary release, but that may give you the mental breather you need to start getting back on track.

    I wish you well.
    They now say, that exercise helps...especially for some reason walking. I don't had an episode of depression after my niece's murder that was followed by my MIL's death from cancer. Exercise is a good suggestion.
    I have been working out. It seems to be the only way to relieve symptoms. I think I just let my body go and I am unhealthy but I'm working on getting better. I am sorry for your losses.
    I am saying this in kindness....basically because that is who I am. I am not a scientist. I am a theatre arts whore..(sorry but that is what we call ourselves) WOrking out will help and if you are medicated maybe they have not found the CORRECT medication for you. We are all individuals with different body chemistries and what works for one migh tnof for another.....so talk to your doctor......walk.....I wish you had an ocean nearby ...I find when I am really really upset, which I have been recently with dealing with my nephews illness and now subsequent death......my exercise walks on the ocean...the sound of the waves...are healing. It isn't scientific. It is just from my heart. SORRY room!
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  26. #25  
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    HOW DID I BECOME A JUNIOR!! SHEESH I am so science stupid I am not past a introduction!
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  27. #26  
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    Mike - this may sound off the wall but what are you eating? How is your diet? Start feeding yourself a proper diet that is nutritionally suited to the biological organism you are (that means little to no grains and sugars) and I am certain you will see a positive change.

    And exercise - it doesn't have to be strenuous just a stroll is fine but get up and get moving about (movement is the only reason you have a brain and a nervous system).

    Make some routines - eat at set times, plan your day, have a goal even if its only to get to the doctors and change your meds (you don't need any more evidence they are not working do you....).

    Good luck.
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