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Thread: Psychological complacent! I need help.

  1. #1 Psychological complacent! I need help. 
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    Hello all, I need some help with my way of thinking. I suffer from been complacent, I play poker on a regular basis. I am really good at poker, but nether the less I get complacent.

    Basically, once I have achieved an initial goal, I then become complacent.

    I put this down to the fact, all my life I have never had money or any significant amount at any given time. I see life, as long as I have food and a roof over my head, nothing else really matters.
    Once I feel the initial pressure as lifted from my game, meaning my starting poker balance, I then feel self gratified and just stop playing my game.

    I then neither lose or win, and stay at an even balance.

    How do I surpass this?,

    Often I can find words of advice to give, but I am struggling to give myself advice.

    So hopefully with your better understanding of Psychology, you can give me advice to surpass this.

    I look forward to reading your words of wisdom, I thank you and understand this may not be the normal type question in this forum place.

    Regards

    Steve


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  3. #2  
    Life-Size Nanoputian Flick Montana's Avatar
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    Your problem is that you're content not spending your life pursuing the almighty dollar?

    Or is it that you're able to stop gambling whenever you want?

    What's the issue?


    "Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." -Calvin
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  4. #3  
    Brassica oleracea Strange's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by theorist View Post
    I then neither lose or win, and stay at an even balance.

    How do I surpass this?
    If you don't feel under pressure to win and you are satisfied with what you have achieved then just stop playing poker and find something more constructive to do with your time (which is pretty much anything). Or, if you enjoy playing poker and breaking even, then just carry on.
    ei incumbit probatio qui dicit, non qui negat
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    Northern Horse Whisperer Moderator scheherazade's Avatar
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    I might suggest that your complacency is only a symptom of something else that may actually be the underlying concern. You give your age as 39, an age when many undergo an experience of psychological shifting of priorities in response to subtle and overt changes in our physiology. Perhaps it is time to find something else besides poker to occupy your time, at least until you regain a sense of anticipation and zeal for participation.

    “There are few things more pathetic than those who have lost their curiosity and sense of adventure, and who no longer care to learn.”
    Gordon B. Hinckley
    Time for a new challenge?
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  6. #5  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flick Montana View Post
    Your problem is that you're content not spending your life pursuing the almighty dollar?

    Yes, exactly Flick, I am honestly probably one of the best pokers in the world. I often take a really small balance to a huge percent win from my initial balance. Then I just feel as if my goals are met, I have achieved my goal and proved to myself I can do it.
    Then I just get complacent and do not care until my balance is back down to near zero. Then it is a recurring process.


    Or is it that you're able to stop gambling whenever you want?


    What's the issue?

    Yes I can stop when I want to, poker as been deemed a game of skill by the courts of America, and not a game of luck.
    Many players, with PHD's in Physics, and maths e.t.c , have took up poker.
    I do have self control, and do not gamble, poker is just a game that any one can play and get good at.


    Thank you for your reply.
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  7. #6  
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    Quote Originally Posted by scheherazade View Post
    I might suggest that your complacency is only a symptom of something else that may actually be the underlying concern. You give your age as 39, an age when many undergo an experience of psychological shifting of priorities in response to subtle and overt changes in our physiology. Perhaps it is time to find something else besides poker to occupy your time, at least until you regain a sense of anticipation and zeal for participation.

    “There are few things more pathetic than those who have lost their curiosity and sense of adventure, and who no longer care to learn.”
    Gordon B. Hinckley
    Time for a new challenge?

    Time for a new challenge, maybe. Through out life I learn something, master it, then move on to a new challenge.
    And I think you may be right, a priority shift in my life.
    I do feel my days are drawing short, and every day I look at my 2 children, and wish I could provide more.
    As for finding something else to do, I have , Science....which I find to be a more and a better challenge of the mind.

    I do find poker easy, once you have learnt to win, there is nothing more to do, except to understand variance which I do in full.

    So yes the whole concept becomes a bore.

    I thank you for your reply.
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  8. #7  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Strange View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by theorist View Post
    I then neither lose or win, and stay at an even balance.

    How do I surpass this?
    If you don't feel under pressure to win and you are satisfied with what you have achieved then just stop playing poker and find something more constructive to do with your time (which is pretty much anything). Or, if you enjoy playing poker and breaking even, then just carry on.

    Thank you Strange, you are right, if I am already satisfied, why do I need to change anything. That doe's make perfect sense.
    I am not satisfied with my life situation, and yes maybe this is the stress I need to sort firstly and most.

    This is why I see the problem, I know if I can get over this hurdle, I truly would be the player on the television with a sponsor ship and a wage. I also feel though, that poker is just a waste of a brain that is meant to excel.

    I thank you Strange for you post.
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  9. #8  
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    I do feel my days are drawing short, and every day I look at my 2 children, and wish I could provide more.
    Firstly, this is a bit silly. My husband was 39 when our first child was born. He had a wonderful time taking the kids (#2 born when he was 41) to look at bones in the museum and they were regulars at the state's Art Gallery. He took them to music and sport and picnics and parties and films. And taught them to cook.

    The one thing you can provide to your children is yourself. Your time, your energy, your attention. Play board games or card games. Take them to science fairs and exhibitions, art exhibitions, motorcycle races, miniature trains, swimming, whatever. If you don't know what you might do with them rather than for them, ask them. They'll have an endless list, about 60% of which will be totally impossible either because of budget or other common sense reasons. In the end, if they can't think of anything sensible or reasonable to do this or any other weekend, buy a kite but don't tell them until you see what the weather's like. If they're older teenagers, there are still lots of things they'd like to do - just because you're willing to do it with them.

    Then go for it.
    "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." Winston Churchill
    "nature is like a game of Jenga; you never know which brick you pull out will cause the whole stack to collapse" Lucy Cooke
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  10. #9  
    Brassica oleracea Strange's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by theorist View Post
    I do feel my days are drawing short
    At 39 !?

    When I was in my mid 30's I went back to university and then started a new career in a completely different field. This led to all sorts of fantastic opportunities, including working abroad. In my 50's I was thinking about doing the same again (but then the economic situation made it unaffordable). I might still do it one day.

    There are always opportunities to do new things.
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    ei incumbit probatio qui dicit, non qui negat
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  11. #10  
    Genius Duck Moderator Dywyddyr's Avatar
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    I gave up my job and went back to university at 44.
    And I also bought myself this:
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    "[Dywyddyr] makes a grumpy bastard like me seem like a happy go lucky scamp" - PhDemon
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  12. #11  
    Brassica oleracea Strange's Avatar
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    I also bought myself this
    Mid life crisis?
    ei incumbit probatio qui dicit, non qui negat
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  13. #12  
    Genius Duck Moderator Dywyddyr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Strange View Post
    Mid life crisis?
    No, it's a Suzuki.
    "[Dywyddyr] makes a grumpy bastard like me seem like a happy go lucky scamp" - PhDemon
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    Quote Originally Posted by adelady View Post
    I do feel my days are drawing short, and every day I look at my 2 children, and wish I could provide more.
    Firstly, this is a bit silly. My husband was 39 when our first child was born. He had a wonderful time taking the kids (#2 born when he was 41) to look at bones in the museum and they were regulars at the state's Art Gallery. He took them to music and sport and picnics and parties and films. And taught them to cook.

    The one thing you can provide to your children is yourself. Your time, your energy, your attention. Play board games or card games. Take them to science fairs and exhibitions, art exhibitions, motorcycle races, miniature trains, swimming, whatever. If you don't know what you might do with them rather than for them, ask them. They'll have an endless list, about 60% of which will be totally impossible either because of budget or other common sense reasons. In the end, if they can't think of anything sensible or reasonable to do this or any other weekend, buy a kite but don't tell them until you see what the weather's like. If they're older teenagers, there are still lots of things they'd like to do - just because you're willing to do it with them.

    Then go for it.
    Who would think through science, I would realize at times I am a terrible father. You are correct, my time I give them is worth more than any value of money.

    Maybe my need for greed, although with good intentions, is my downfall in life. Maybe if I relax and stop stressing over financial worries, then them worries may just take care of themselves.

    I have asked about training courses e.t.c in the UK, but it is not that simple now. The government says if you are in training you still have to look for a job, or else you get no benefits. They make it ironic.

    I thank you all you have give me a new perspective on life. and help with some possible Psychosis I am suffering from. I actually just think I may be depressed.
    However, now I see maybe an Illness , I now can logically deal with it.

    Imagination is a dangerous power to have....
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  15. #14  
    Life-Size Nanoputian Flick Montana's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Strange View Post
    At 39 !?

    When I was in my mid 30's I went back to university and then started a new career in a completely different field. This led to all sorts of fantastic opportunities, including working abroad. In my 50's I was thinking about doing the same again (but then the economic situation made it unaffordable). I might still do it one day.

    There are always opportunities to do new things.
    I did the exact same thing. It's not too late until you're in the grave.
    "Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." -Calvin
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