Thread: A dream

First I apologise for losing good recall of this dream as I waited a few days before posting this.
However I think I may have noted the salient point -and who know it might come back more fully later.

However my first question about it is whether in dreams ,as in hypnosis , there are certain limits to what we can imagine ourselves doing.
I mean that is what hypnotists say ,isn't it, that there are certain things that cannot be suggested to a subject as they conflict with their core values?

If I am wrong on this point then the second part of my post is irrelevant because in my dream I ,as the central character , and without nuance adopted actions that were in conflict with my lifelong beliefs/predjudices .

I don't propose to go into any detail but ,when I awoke my first feeling was that it was another person who had to have dreamed that -or else that my lifetime belief/predisposition were really not as genuine as I thought. ( they had been tested in the past and I assumed that they were part of my "bedrock")

Originally Posted by geordief

However my first question about it is whether in dreams ,as in hypnosis , there are certain limits to what we can imagine ourselves doing.
I mean that is what hypnotists say ,isn't it, that there are certain things that cannot be suggested to a subject as they conflict with their core values?

Hmm, from my own experience, I'd once dreamt about being in an almost Conan (the barbarian) like character, and raping ravishing a slave girl dressed in an almost princess Leia like bikini and thong in dark tower somewhere. However, I am not sure if I am able to recall enough dream details to be certain now that I was the "raping barbarian" and not merely watching events unfold in my dream, but I am pretty certain that I wasn't the slave girl in that dream (since the dream did not unfold from her perspective). To be honest, I may have filled in some details I have forgotten post-dreaming.

But relating to your question, I'm not certain how one would pin down their core values whilst "awake & conscious" vs "asleep & unconscious".

thanks
The character in my dream played its part over quite a long sequence of events (in the dream of course) and I am quite certain that I was that character and not observing it (obviously you can never be 100% confident)

As to how I would pin it down as a core value , when I awoke I went back over 40 years in my past to the time when this had first been of imoprtance to me ,had had material consequences and also attracted adverse commentary from a close friend.I mean it seemed core even though it doesn't seem to enter the day to day running of my life -just part of who I would say I was if asked.

In addition ,although dreams have interested me always , this is the first time that I have had a dream that did not require any "interpretation".
It was just full-on the dream making it fully-on clear that my idea of who I was was wrong and had been ever since I formed an impressionn of myself (in this area of my life).

I'm not sure if I understand what you have said there. Did you perhaps mean "that which defines you as a person" = core values?

Well "core" for me would be an aspect of my self (or idea of my self) that hadn't changed over a long period.

I would have to agree that nothing is really "core" but this was an aspect of my self-view (backed up by objective input) that was as worthy of the title as anything else I could think of( probably if I did think hard they would be other values many probably less flattering that wwere also there in the background).

As I said this is the first dream I have had ever that seemed to flat out contradict my settled view of an aspect of myself and I think it may well be a one-off (once in a lifetime)

Originally Posted by geordief

Well "core" for me would be an aspect of my self (or idea of my self) that hadn't changed over a long period.

I would have to agree that nothing is really "core" but this was an aspect of my self-view (backed up by objective input) that was as worthy of the title as anything else I could think of( probably if I did think hard they would be other values many probably less flattering that wwere also there in the background).

Well, first off. I just want to say that both flattering and unflattering aspects of our Character are apart of who we are. Accepting that we may have character flaws (after identifying that they are character flaws) is just a way of being honest with ourselves.

Originally Posted by geordief

As I said this is the first dream I have had ever that seemed to flat out contradict my settled view of an aspect of myself and I think it may well be a one-off (once in a lifetime)

I can see how that may have been unsettling for you. It is a little hard to given any specific advise (if you are here for advise that is...) without any additional details of either your dream or perhaps how your self-view have been put into question. That is if you are comfortable sharing some of course.

Actually I thought I was trying to be objective and was wondering whether this kind of a dream was rare (I had the feeling it might be impossible since I have alwaysthought that dreams had no independent life of their own and were just expression of your own self).

It isn't as upsetting to me as I may have sounded since another of my (self ) attributed" attributes is (self) cynicism.

However , without really going into the dream (which I would feel uncomfortable about since I didn't keep a detailed record of it at the time as I could easily have done the bit that offended my self esteem was that I put myself in a position to suck up to people more powerful than myself and in quite a straightforward and unnecessary way- whereas my view of myself is of a brave uncorrupted (if untested ) soul.
I imagine that those are extremely common types of self appraisal but I was surprised to find this contradicted in a dream (the first time it had happened to me - I normally love my dreams which are always cryptic whenever there seems to be a serious meaning)

Dreams are not like hypnosis. Dreams are not about who or how or what you are in the way that hypnosis is said to be.

Dreams quite often include elements from things you've seen or experienced or heard or read or heard of or even just thought of. When you put that lot together in an uncontrolled mixture, you can finish up with strange or beautiful or scary things. Things that you'd never put together yourself if you were thinking consciously.

Have you considered your dream character to be a form of role-playing; an unconscious way to harmlessly act out a fantasy-like scenario perhaps?

I thought that might be the case.Is there a theory then that there is absolutely no meaning at all to be drawn from dreams?

Is there a theory that there could be a meaning when the conscious mind meets the unconcious?

I mean , when you wake up isn't there an instant when both the unconscious and the conscious are bedfellows?

Could the understanding (of the dream)at that instant in time taken by the conscious mind have a validity that is immediately lost thereafter- a bit like the way first impressions are honest even if they are not worked through) ?(I am just wondering....)

Originally Posted by scoobydoo1

Have you considered your dream character to be a form of role-playing; an unconscious way to harmlessly act out a fantasy-like scenario perhaps?

Then again I haven't recalled the details of the dream although the opposing character was of the opposite sex and so the explanation might be simpler than I thought!

Originally Posted by geordief

Then again I haven't recalled the details of the dream although the opposing character was of the opposite sex and so the explanation might be simpler than I thought!

Was she attractive?

yes (quite)but there was no hanky panky in the dream -or in real life-just toadying (in the dream that is)!

Originally Posted by geordief

First I apologise for losing good recall of this dream as I waited a few days before posting this.
However I think I may have noted the salient point -and who know it might come back more fully later.

However my first question about it is whether in dreams ,as in hypnosis , there are certain limits to what we can imagine ourselves doing.
I mean that is what hypnotists say ,isn't it, that there are certain things that cannot be suggested to a subject as they conflict with their core values?

If I am wrong on this point then the second part of my post is irrelevant because in my dream I ,as the central character , and without nuance adopted actions that were in conflict with my lifelong beliefs/predjudices .

I don't propose to go into any detail but ,when I awoke my first feeling was that it was another person who had to have dreamed that -or else that my lifetime belief/predisposition were really not as genuine as I thought. ( they had been tested in the past and I assumed that they were part of my "bedrock")

To answer your question I want to explain to how hypnosis works, it doesn't change your behaviour in any way. What it does is change your perception to a thing, person or situation. When you're perceiving something differently you re-act differently is that new re-action which is desired that the hypnosis is used to acheive. Finding that right senario, for your perception, so that you will then react in the correct manner.

The limitation to hypnosis is your limitation, if their isn't a senario in which you'd act a certain way they you can't be hypnotised to act that way.
Since dreams are unreal they can have many more senarios in which for you to be persuaded to act differently, so they are not nearly as limited as hypnosis.

Originally Posted by geordief

yes (quite)but there was no hanky panky in the dream -or in real life-just toadying (in the dream that is)!

Since I do not know enough about your dream or the context of the "storyline/plot", (thinking back) would you say that her attractiveness may have affected your behavior in the dream, or as it unrelated?

In the dream it seemed more like her status that was important -the opportunity she afforded that it wasn't beneath me to exploit.

Originally Posted by geordief

In the dream it seemed more like her status that was important -the opportunity she afforded that it wasn't beneath me to exploit.

Please bear with my line of query a little more, I'm trying to rule out or narrow down which aspect of your character you find unsettled by your dream. I know it's a little unorthodox to ask that you do this now that you are conscious and awake, but if you are able somehow just place yourself again in the shoes of your dream character. Should this lady be superbly unattractive (an old hag for example), would your dream character still have behaved as it did?

Would it have made a difference?

The thought had ocurred to me also and I did make that attempt but I couldn't make any headway on it without interposing my consciousness on the scene .

That reminds me though of a trick I try and perform when I wake up in the middle of an interesting or pleasurable dream.I try to reimmerse myself in the dream.
Unfortunately I have never been successful(it seems like it should work but it just doesn't)

I think(consciously) that if the character in my dream we are discussing had been more attractive or significantly less so it would not have made any difference -but I am not guaranteeing that to be the case.

This seems straightforward to me. You have arrived at a set of core values, but to match these core values you sometimes have to work at it. If you don't then they strike me as rather wimpish core values: anythign worth having is worth fighting for. This dream may simply be a way of your subconscious exploring the possibility of an alternative approach. If you can't handle the possibility that you aren't as good as you thought you were give alcoholism some serious consideration.

I have always found the exercise of roleplaying to be insightful to my own character. It assists in helping me identify which aspects of a human character I have not tried/explored in real life that I may have consciously decided not to adopt. While I am not saying that your dream is indicative of your inner desire to behave as your dream character had, do try to look at it from a different perspective. It may just be a harmless fantasy or an unconscious test-run of "what ifs".

I am certainly not qualified to analyze your dreams (if that is even possible), but I do take pride in that I am willing to entertain some harmless fantasy (especially in a dream) if it helps to identify what sort of character traits I am opposed to when I am awake and conscious. Sometimes merely witnessing these traits in other people isn't persuasive enough for our subconscious, and in a way, having a dream like yours does give you an opportunity to take temporary vacation and see things from a (dream) character's or insider's point of view. In a sense, most of what we dream about isn't real. It's a collage of past and recent experiences coupled with some (repressed?) emotions and melded into a (dream) narrative as a form of release if I'm not mistaken.

I hesitate to include nightmares into the discussion, but would you personally classify your dream as leaning towards being pleasant (along the lines of enjoyable), just weird (simply odd) or nightmarish (along the lines of disturbing)? Your classification of enjoyment or distress isn't necessary important though, but as a constructive contribution, I would say that how your conscious self deals with what your dream has shown you, and how it reinforces or weakens your current Character (core values) is a significant to your continuing growth as a person to be adaptive.

That is my personal take on the matter. Not that it is especially helpful in any sort of way, but I do hope it helps to sort out your feelings and see things from a more positive perspective.

I always dream about being in a strange place like walking into a forest with tall grass during the night. I didn't know where I am, nor how I got there...and then I realized that I was dead. I was trapped in that place, forever. I had to get out of that place...I had to find something sharp but there was nothing like that around. Only tree leaves and mud. When I finally find something sharp, I wake up, except one time when...it went through the chin all the way up, just to wake up with a headake. I think I was sick that day.

My personal favourite dreams always involve flying, I think this is quite common in dreams, I really like being able to fly in dreams because it means I am aware I am dreaming and also because I really enjoy the perception of the sensation of flying. In reality where we have to rely on flying in aircraft I find flying quite uncomfortable and unsettling, yet oddly in dream state being able to fly seems liberating and I seem to have absolutely no sense of vertigo.

Originally Posted by Chrisgorlitz

My personal favourite dreams always involve flying, I think this is quite common in dreams, I really like being able to fly in dreams because it means I am aware I am dreaming and also because I really enjoy the perception of the sensation of flying. In reality where we have to rely on flying in aircraft I find flying quite uncomfortable and unsettling, yet oddly in dream state being able to fly seems liberating and I seem to have absolutely no sense of vertigo.

I have had similar dreams involving flight over the years. For some odd reason, my ability to fly up or down in those dreams seem to require some paddling motion; very similar to the breaststroke style during swimming (involving both arms and legs). The really weird thing was my dream state flights were sluggish and not very maneuverable. If I recall correctly, I do not think I've ever flew higher than a treetop for some reason.

All the "flying" I've done in dreams closely matches the daily experience of a baby being picked up and plopped down. Isn't it strange we don't also dream of sticky bottoms and burps that won't rise?

***

Values may be stronger in opposition to another set. But then one must be aware of the alternative, and so consider it if only for rejection. Maybe one can play that out more thoroughly in dream?

I wondered if it was more to do with being like a bird, is there/could there be some connection there to birds deep in our subconscious. Or maybe our way of being able to live out a fantasy that isn't possible in real life perhaps, what I do know though is dreams always become more fun once you become aware you're dreaming.