Thread: Be yourself, that's the clue

I’ve got a friend. He’s really nice to me and can be very funny sometimes. Though many people ignore him and say he’s a bit crazy. He sometimes has strange kinds of humour and can say things that can really hurt somebody. He told me that he’d like to have more friends (for he is a bit lonely), but that he won’t change the way he is. ‘Be yourself, that’s al that matters’.

Now I come to my main question. How important is it to be yourself? You shouldn’t be the one somebody else wants you to be, I know that. But isn’t it okay to adapt just a little bit? Or should you stay as you are, even if it can irritate other people who might be nice as a friend?

First:
is he very intelligent? has a certain area that he is extremly interssted in?
if he does he probebly got some minor autism

secondly:
be yourself is allways important. If you change yourself to much and it isnt really you. People will like the one your playing to be. But not you. How fun is it for someone to like you, for a role you play? it isnt fun. neither is someone that like you for your money. Those who like you for the one you are, are true friends and should be the ones you care about.

Lonliness isnt harmfull. Tell him that its better to have 1 true friend, then a hundred shallow ones

No he isn’t very intelligent, though he sometimes has bright views on the world. (Though he should wear glasses).

Him not having friends isn’t really only his problems, but he keeps sticking around me. Can be quite annoying sometimes. Strange isn’t it? That people you like pretty much can sometimes irritate hell out of you!

It is sensible not to reveal your real name (if you are young or vulnerable) or any other information that may Identify you [on the internet].

If however you pretend you are a PHd when in fact you are still in nursery school then you will quickly be found out. Stay safe don't identify yourself to anyone over the internet.

billco have right there. but reveling your mental state and physical condition wont hurt. its millions like you all over the world

Him not having friends isn’t really only his problems, but he keeps sticking around me. Can be quite annoying sometimes. Strange isn’t it? That people you like pretty much can sometimes irritate hell out of you!

not really. to much of the good is never good. one pill makes you feel better. 2 heals you. 3 makes you feel worse. 4 kills you

The "Dr. Phil's" of the world tell you that you should always be yourself. This is true to a certain extent...no one likes a poser, case in point...the super-white suburban kids who talk, dress and act like gangster rappers...laughable. The problem lies when your "real self" is an asshole.
I have a friend very much like your friend. I'm pretty sure I'm his only friend. He completely lacks that all-important filter between his brain and his mouth. He says whatever is on his mind without thinking about the consequences his words have. He would have no problem telling someone with a acne problem "Wow, those are some pretty big zits you got there!" To him, he's just making an observation, not realizing that this would be hurtful to zit-boy. I'm constantly telling him to think about what he says BEFORE he says it...try to put yourself in the other person's shoes.
We live in a world full of social rules, and knowing these rules will greatly help someone make friends. Some people grow up in a home where these rules just aren't taught. I suggested to my friend to read the book by Dale Carnegie "How to win friends and influence people". It's a treasure trove of information about human interaction. Hopefully he can make some friends of his own and not attempt to use you as his only social outlet.

http://www.westegg.com/unmaintained/...n-friends.html

Possibly, the discussion is about something that does not exist. We are all, always, ourself. We are never someone else. If someone has habits that prevent them from making more friends, but wants more friends, the person makes a choice. If he does not want to bother changing his habits and learn tact and manners, perhaps he really doesn't care if he hurts people's feelings. Why should they want to be friends with him? If people are brought up to be rude, they can change. It does not make them someone else. They canf learn to develop into a more mature adult. There are already too many selfish, inconsiderate people around. Why give them sort of an acolade "for being themselves?" There is nothing laudable about rude and hurtful behaviour!

charles, http://humanpurpose.simplenet.com

what if you spoke to hitler, would you say thats ok to "be yourself" i think not, same could be said of manson,bundy,fred west,pol pott etc.

Originally Posted by captaincaveman

what if you spoke to hitler, would you say thats ok to "be yourself" i think not, same could be said of manson,bundy,fred west,pol pott etc.

how is killing something being yourself?? seems to me they kill because they CANT be themselves. otherwise no need to kill...

people are selfish and GREEDY because they cant be unselfish and be themselves. it is pretty simple.

people get GREEDY because they are trying to make up for something they dont have/like about themselves, thus not being themselves.

Originally Posted by SealOtter

Originally Posted by captaincaveman

what if you spoke to hitler, would you say thats ok to "be yourself" i think not, same could be said of manson,bundy,fred west,pol pott etc.

how is killing something being yourself?? seems to me they kill because they CANT be themselves. otherwise no need to kill...

people are selfish and GREEDY because they cant be unselfish and be themselves. it is pretty simple.

people get GREEDY because they are trying to make up for something they dont have/like about themselves, thus not being themselves.

but maybe that was them being themselves, if they are mentally unstable and dillusional.

Originally Posted by captaincaveman

Originally Posted by SealOtter

Originally Posted by captaincaveman

what if you spoke to hitler, would you say thats ok to "be yourself" i think not, same could be said of manson,bundy,fred west,pol pott etc.

how is killing something being yourself?? seems to me they kill because they CANT be themselves. otherwise no need to kill...

people are selfish and GREEDY because they cant be unselfish and be themselves. it is pretty simple.

people get GREEDY because they are trying to make up for something they dont have/like about themselves, thus not being themselves.

but maybe that was them being themselves, if they are mentally unstable and dillusional.

nahh, not if your mentally unstable or dillusional.

being oneself is the onlyway to be. but to add to that i think different people have different affects on each other. in otherwords various people bring out different parts of our personality but the way we subconsiously react to situations in the way we speak, what we do, how we behave etc are results of our individual patterns of thought. even if someone is a "poser" - they are being themselves by reactiong to a social situation by pretending to be someone else - it is their individual way of reacting. further more people wear many different hats so to speak. the way one acts in front of their boss is somewhat different to how one acts around there boyfriend/girlfriend. we are always being ourselves - even the "posers" because - like our finger prints - no two brain patterns are alike in any way. the key is to go with the flow - do not be conscious of who u are/trying to be...your natural reactions and interactions in social situatuions are the key to u as the individual. as for your friend - he is correct - two wrongs dont make a right. there is nothing wrong with not being liked. he sounds original, funny, tactless and somewhat introverted. nothing wrong with that. as for his clinginess - well maybe he's insecure, maybe he sees YOUR need/desire/yearning for someone in your life like a friend. i think we should all ignore the pre-programmed ideals that society feeds us and just be.

i think it is important to act like yourself to a certain extent. Yeah, people dont generally like posers and if you act like yourself then people will like that personality and not the fake one and in this case you might actually have friends with the same way of thinking and same interests. But on the other hand, sometimes you have to pretend a bit to fit in with the society. I, for example, act different at home compared with school. At home i can act like want because there's only me to see it. If i act completetly like myself in school then people will think im too weird. Well, in fact, they already do to a certain extent and that's why i dont have that many friends. So i have to act differently to fit in with the society of school.
I know this one person who everyone dislikes and she's got hardly any friends cos she's so weird. She doesnt have the normal interests of a teenager and she's weird in other ways. For her it may be ok and she's quite happy with her hobbies and doesnt see anything wrong with other weird things, but then she wonders why people bully her and arent friends with her and avoid her in the corridor. So for her maybe it isnt the best idea to act like herself.
I think its all about getting the balance right to be honest...

-i act however i want lol, and people respect me for that even if they like me or not , cause too bad i dont change, and too be honest if your being who you feel comfortable with being then there will always be people who are on the same level as you 8)
-because im what you call a hyper kid (adhd) alot of people ignore me, but thats because i have a loud voice, nto because they think im retarded . But on the other hand alot of people respect me for various reasons.
-most of the people who dont fit in, whether it be at work, home, school or parties usually arent what you call team players.

If it one's nature to mimic somebody else, then continuing to do so is surelybeing themself.

I have a question, if you have MPS then which self should you be? (i son't have MPS by the way)

I'd choose the 5th, as in music it sounds better!

I'd definately say be yourself, making a change in yourself would still be you because you would have come to a point where you would be unhappy and want to change for a positive improvement.

Don't change too much though, you can spot those try too hard type people a mile away.

Nothing wrong with a bit of sarcasm as long as it's not too offensive.

Good luck to your friend, maybe you and him should go out and meet people together?

correct always b what u r but if it creates problem 2 others, either stay away, take care or try 2 adjust as per their requirements!!

Originally Posted by weknowtheword

correct always b what u r but if it creates problem 2 others, either stay away, take care or try 2 adjust as per their requirements!!

Is this some sort of new mathematics?

I think you are confusing a serious scientific forum with a text message here, do you want to be taken seriously or treated as a joke?