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Thread: How to deal with a brother psychopath?

  1. #1 How to deal with a brother psychopath? 
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    Hello

    I was studing the articles of Robert Hare's official website. After putting in practice the rules of How can i deal with a person with psychopathic features? i bring to the conclussion that NO CONTACT rule doesn't work to stop my brother's harassment.


    I have an excelent notebook with memories of my brother's behaviour thru the years.
    My brother is a harasser. He feels pleasure in inflict me harassment routines. He is so smart, and creatively perverse. Of course, ensures that there is no witness.

    He contaminates the bathroom we share (in various and very very ingenious ways). He feings an atypical mental ill consisting in rare tics, lazyness, dumbness, among othr strange behaviours.

    Any advice?

    thanks


     

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  3. #2  
    Forum Ph.D.
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    how old are both of you, what are your ages ?


     

  4. #3  
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    The no contact rule is still the best answer if a person is truely malicious. Don't share housing with such a person. Move away.
    If you insist on living with such aperson then you must attempt to change the behavior. Trying to assign blame is useless. Behavior is changed by realistic consistent consequences. I'm not sure what "He contaminates the bathroom we share (in various and very very ingenious ways" means. But lets say he leaves the cap off the toothpaste. Buy your own tooth paste. Don't leave it in the bathroom. Keep the cap on your tooth paste. Do not recap his tooth paste, ever. Thus he only contaminates his own tooth cleaner. Treat the bathroom as one you share with the public.
    Explore the possiblity that the issue may be with you and your obcessive compulsive disorder.
     

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    You will have to give us more details about what your brother does, your ages and living conditions. At the moment I see nothing that points to psychopathic behaviour; more like teenage sibling rivalry.
    Disclaimer: I do not declare myself to be an expert on ANY subject. If I state something as fact that is obviously wrong, please don't hesitate to correct me. I welcome such corrections in an attempt to be as truthful and accurate as possible.

    "Gullibility kills" - Carl Sagan
    "All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it." - Harry Block
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  6. #5  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sealeaf View Post
    The no contact rule is still the best answer if a person is truely malicious. Don't share housing with such a person. Move away.
    I dont have the money to buy my new house. I'm planning to buy it in April 2013. To rent a department, means spend my money.
    Another 2 problems are:

    1. my mother, father and sister are very religious, and they dont understand that a person can be a unremorseful robot.
    2. my psychopathic ''septic'' brother works in the same place i do. A familiar bussines. I didn´t finish my career because i became paranoid when strange stains and odors constantly appeared on my clothes. [Now, i know he was the autor...but this is a too long story]



    I'm not sure what "He contaminates the bathroom we share (in various and very very ingenious ways" means. But lets say he leaves the cap off the toothpaste. Buy your own tooth paste. Don't leave it in the bathroom. Keep the cap on your tooth paste. Do not recap his tooth paste, ever. Thus he only contaminates his own tooth cleaner. Treat the bathroom as one you share with the public.
    I have an anal fisure, i use a bidet. Then, he let small particles of faeces in. He argues he need to use the bidet because his obesity (after a pathetic failure in university, he became fasfood addict, indeed i suspect he consumes illegal drugs). He always cover with soap the handle of the wasbasin, in a way that seems neglection.
    The doctor has diagnosed him a depression due to strong frustrations, because he was expelled from college, among other frustrated lofty goals (unrealistic).

    How do i know it is not neglection?
    I've seen he never rinse, just let water falling over his hand. When i ask him if it's a tic, he always evades.


    Explore the possiblity that the issue may be with you and your obcessive compulsive disorder

    when
    he was expelled from the university because his arrogant anddisrespectful behaviour he started to throw slappings on my neck every time he could,
    kicking my door & laughing while i was asleep. HE HAS 30 YEARS OLD.



    too long to write here all thenumerous forms of harassment, and his narcissistic behavior.

     

  7. #6  
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    2. my psychopathic ''septic'' brother works in the same place i do. A familiar bussines.
    A family bussines,
    Dammit! My spanish lexicon again.
    bussiness business bussines loneli-ness ness Loch Ness.
    dammit.
     

  8. #7  
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    busy-ness business bussiness bisnes biznes bsns busssssinessss busines

    dags... i bet you dont know what means the word dag.... ha ha ga
     

  9. #8  
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    my mother, father and sister are very religious, and they dont understand that a person can be a unremorseful robot.
    Ironic.
     

  10. #9  
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    i bet you dont know what means the word
    I bet you don't know who might or might not read these posts.

    Most Australians use the word. And most of those know what it means in sheep farming.
    "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." Winston Churchill
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  11. #10  
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    When i read this, i read that something is off centre. Something does not fit in.

    First of all, he deliberately does these acts? Or is it your own paranoia? Catching him red handed is not the way to deal with this. Though, getting to know the reason for him to do so, is. Does he deliberately act this way to harm, to shock, or to "infect" you? As some people have a tendency to make others eat or drink their, pee, semen, faeces, etcetc. Which is a serious illness. These people see it as an reenforcement of themselves, to spread their essence, to ways beyond themselves. It is part of the natural sense to reproduce, but this is twisted.

    The way to handle it... If your strong, confront him. Tell him that you can't control someone just by making him touch your faeces, and that it's a derative from having sex with you. If he doesn't snap out of it then. Consult a psychiatrist.
    Growing up, i marveled at star-trek's science, and ignored the perfect society. Now, i try to ignore their science, and marvel at the society.

    Imagine, being able to create matter out of thin air, and not coming up with using drones for boarding hostile ships. Or using drones to defend your own ship. Heck, using drones to block energy attacks, counterattack or for surveillance. Unless, of course, they are nano-machines in your blood, which is a billion times more complex..
     

  12. #11  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zwolver View Post
    When i read this, i read that something is off centre. Something does not fit in.

    First of all, he deliberately does these acts? Or is it your own paranoia?
    He annoys, pester, he is a Professional Harasser (Yes, from Hitchcock Stories). His whole emotional life always remained confined in an impenetrable nutshell. It is IMPOSSIBLE for him to express their problems or concerns.

    Also, I am no a neophyte. I was read a considerable amount of psychology and psychiatry treatises.



    Does he deliberately act this way to harm, to shock, or to "infect" you? As some people have a tendency to make others eat or drink their, pee, semen, faeces, etcetc. Which is a serious illness. These people see it as an reenforcement of themselves, to spread their essence, to ways beyond themselves. It is part of the natural sense to reproduce, but this is twisted.

    The way to handle it... If your strong, confront him. Tell him that you can't control someone just by making him touch your faeces, and that it's a derative from having sex with you. If he doesn't snap out of it then.

    He used to take my dirty pajamas from the dirty laundrybasket and putting on the conditioned shelffor my clean pajamas.
    In my bed i used to feel my legs wet, and an urine smell.

    During these days he was mortified becauseI had recently entered into the university. I was always an outstanding student, he was perhaps theworst student in his school.

    Consult a psychiatrist
    ha ha ha. very good joke.
    He is a demon.

    I live in south america. Here, psychiatrists are con men, profiteers.
     

  13. #12  
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    It is IMPOSSIBLE for him to express his problems and concerns
     

  14. #13  
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    You should not doubt my objectivity.
    I was rule out obsessive-compulsive disorder, toxiphobia, paranoia. I have endeavored to avoid falling into self-deception.

    If you respect science, you should consider al least the probability that my version is objective. An atypical, but a real case.

    I respect this forum, what would i win making fun of you?


    I can't e-find any counsel to deal with Psychopaths Harassers. (In south america the jail is worst than the purgatory. For this reason, here most of psychopaths are sophisticated harassers, not murderers).

    Any idea?
     

  15. #14  
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    His perversion is a twisted sense of sexual stimulae probably. I can't say for sure, but if he would EVER find a person to be with, he'll lose intrest in doing this to you.

    As i kinda said last message.
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    Growing up, i marveled at star-trek's science, and ignored the perfect society. Now, i try to ignore their science, and marvel at the society.

    Imagine, being able to create matter out of thin air, and not coming up with using drones for boarding hostile ships. Or using drones to defend your own ship. Heck, using drones to block energy attacks, counterattack or for surveillance. Unless, of course, they are nano-machines in your blood, which is a billion times more complex..
     

  16. #15  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zwolver View Post
    His perversion is a twisted sense of sexual stimulae probably. I can't say for sure, but if he would EVER find a person to be with, he'll lose intrest in doing this to you.

    As i kinda said last message.
    Thanks Zwolver. Very interesting. I tought the only solution was leaving home.
    But he is depressed...how i can find a fiace for him?
     

  17. #16  
    Time Lord Paleoichneum's Avatar
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    Too be honest, I am getting the feeling that we are not getting an unbiased version of what is happening, and that you are actually purposely trying to make him sound as bad as possible to gain sympathy.
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  18. #17  
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    how i can find a fiace for him?
    I presume that's a typo for fiancee? Firstly, it's more his job than anyone else's to find someone who will also find him attractive enough to commit to sharing their life with him.

    Secondly, neither he nor anyone else should embark on this thinking that the 'right' woman could 'make him happy' if he's depressed at the moment. You don't start a successful relationship on the basis that you want someone else to fulfil your own needs. Good, happy, long-term relationships are based on people who offer each other the right mixtures of patience and passion, common interests and independence, intimacy, generosity, affection and freedom to suit both of them. The mixture is different for every successful couple.

    If your brother is as depressed as you say, I doubt he thinks he has anything to offer anyone. Least of all himself.
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  19. #18  
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    Quote Originally Posted by bezoar View Post
    You should not doubt my objectivity.
    There are three reasons why I should doubt your objectivity.
    1) This is a science forum and for something to be considered objective it should be supported by evidence that can be duplicated by multiple parties. You have not offered such evidence.
    2) Humans are known for their subjectivity. What make you think you are special?
    3) I doubt my own objectivity. Why should I accept yours?

    Quote Originally Posted by bezoar View Post
    I was rule out obsessive-compulsive disorder, toxiphobia, paranoia. I have endeavored to avoid falling into self-deception.
    How did your rule out the other possibilities? How can you be sure you have avoided self-deception? Isn't that the whole point about self deception?

    Quote Originally Posted by bezoar View Post
    If you respect science, you should consider al least the probability that my version is objective. An atypical, but a real case.
    I consider it entirely possible that your version is objective. However, it is also possible it is severly distorted. As far as you have presented it so far I find it difficult to believe it is objective. However, this may be due to difficulties of expressing your ideas in English, so I remain open minded.

    Quote Originally Posted by bezoar View Post
    I respect this forum, what would i win making fun of you?
    There are many reasons apart from 'makin fun' of forum members that could explain why your posts were not objective. Posting comments in large blue font does not help to convince me.

    Quote Originally Posted by bezoar View Post
    I can't e-find any counsel to deal with Psychopaths Harassers. (In south america the jail is worst than the purgatory. For this reason, here most of psychopaths are sophisticated harassers, not murderers).

    Any idea?
    Whoa!! What are you talking about? Do you mean your brother is a psychopath harasser? Even if your comments so far are completely objective then that is not an accurate description of him. So, do you mean one or more of the members here? I am confused.
     

  20. #19  
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    What defines a psychopath? Is it his inability to coop with society? Or is it the fun he gets from messing with it? I think it's a bit of both.

    You saying he's not objective, which is totally understandable. If your speaking about something personal, your not objective just as he is now. He's just asking for advice, not for his claims to be pulled in doubt. If he gains some kind of pleasure by making fun of us, fine, as long as nobody finds out. Right?
    Saturn likes this.
    Growing up, i marveled at star-trek's science, and ignored the perfect society. Now, i try to ignore their science, and marvel at the society.

    Imagine, being able to create matter out of thin air, and not coming up with using drones for boarding hostile ships. Or using drones to defend your own ship. Heck, using drones to block energy attacks, counterattack or for surveillance. Unless, of course, they are nano-machines in your blood, which is a billion times more complex..
     

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zwolver View Post
    What defines a psychopath? Is it his inability to coop with society? Or is it the fun he gets from messing with it? I think it's a bit of both.

    You saying he's not objective, which is totally understandable. If your speaking about something personal, your not objective just as he is now. He's just asking for advice, not for his claims to be pulled in doubt. If he gains some kind of pleasure by making fun of us, fine, as long as nobody finds out. Right?
    A sociopath (also known as a psychopath, if we're using the term literally) is a person who gains personal pleasure from harassing others. They have no feeling of remorse, and all other emotions are shallow. I agree with others in saying that your brothers acts are of brotherly rivalry. If he is truely antisocial and sociopathic, he will do anything to anyone to get what he wants, using charm, violence, and deciet.

    If these acts become more violent and occur with other people I would consult a psychologist.
    "Death in anonymity is the ultimate insult to human dignity."
    ~Kathy Reichs, Break No Bones
     

  22. #21  
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    Quote Originally Posted by AnonymousNine View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Zwolver View Post
    What defines a psychopath? Is it his inability to coop with society? Or is it the fun he gets from messing with it? I think it's a bit of both.

    You saying he's not objective, which is totally understandable. If your speaking about something personal, your not objective just as he is now. He's just asking for advice, not for his claims to be pulled in doubt. If he gains some kind of pleasure by making fun of us, fine, as long as nobody finds out. Right?
    A sociopath (also known as a psychopath, if we're using the term literally) is a person who gains personal pleasure from harassing others. They have no feeling of remorse, and all other emotions are shallow. I agree with others in saying that your brothers acts are of brotherly rivalry. If he is truely antisocial and sociopathic, he will do anything to anyone to get what he wants, using charm, violence, and deciet.

    If these acts become more violent and occur with other people I would consult a psychologist.
    I was speaking philosophically, but thanks anyway, saves me a WIKI search .
    AnonymousNine likes this.
    Growing up, i marveled at star-trek's science, and ignored the perfect society. Now, i try to ignore their science, and marvel at the society.

    Imagine, being able to create matter out of thin air, and not coming up with using drones for boarding hostile ships. Or using drones to defend your own ship. Heck, using drones to block energy attacks, counterattack or for surveillance. Unless, of course, they are nano-machines in your blood, which is a billion times more complex..
     

  23. #22  
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    First we need to properly understand the difference between a PSYCHOpath and a SOCIOpath. A psychopath is someone who does not understand the moral difference of "right" and "wrong". A Sociopath understands this difference and simply does not care. Another way to put it is a Psycopath does not have that inner voice that tells him what he is doing is wrong. A Sociopath hears the voice and tells it to shut the hell up. This is my personal issue.... I hear the voice but often choose not to listen. But that is neither here nor there.
    The problem you are dealing with sounds like an anti=social disorder. There could also be some jealousy issues... As you are siblings and, I am assuming, have lived together for a long period, One need ask... How long has this behaviour been occurring? Is it possible that your brother simply has some deep seated resentments toward you.
    There are other reasons than his being psychologicaly impaired that may be causing some of this behaviour. If he has a history of substance abuse he may be mentally deficient. The best course of action would be to speak with a licensed therapist and get your brother to do the same. Now all of this is coming from half remembered courses in psychology and abnormal behaviour from University so I may have misdefined things. But the therapist advice is most likely sound.
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    Quote Originally Posted by dmwyant View Post
    First we need to properly understand the difference between a PSYCHOpath and a SOCIOpath. A psychopath is someone who does not understand the moral difference of "right" and "wrong". A Sociopath understands this difference and simply does not care. Another way to put it is a Psycopath does not have that inner voice that tells him what he is doing is wrong. A Sociopath hears the voice and tells it to shut the hell up. This is my personal issue.... I hear the voice but often choose not to listen. But that is neither here nor there.
    The problem you are dealing with sounds like an anti=social disorder. There could also be some jealousy issues... As you are siblings and, I am assuming, have lived together for a long period, One need ask... How long has this behaviour been occurring? Is it possible that your brother simply has some deep seated resentments toward you.
    There are other reasons than his being psychologicaly impaired that may be causing some of this behaviour. If he has a history of substance abuse he may be mentally deficient. The best course of action would be to speak with a licensed therapist and get your brother to do the same. Now all of this is coming from half remembered courses in psychology and abnormal behaviour from University so I may have misdefined things. But the therapist advice is most likely sound.
    You have more credentials than I (;
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    Quote Originally Posted by AnonymousNine View Post
    A sociopath (also known as a psychopath, if we're using the term literally) is a person who gains personal pleasure from harassing others.
    Even if he need to spend a lot of time and energy in order to achieve the destruction of his prey (his victim).

    My psychopathic brother could die, he have high cholesterol, liver problems. He is 30 years old.
    He became fastfood addict because it is the best way to emulate a 'clinically depressed fastfooder' (a 'victim' pester...).

    In the other hand, when he can no longer suppress his envy, he explicitly express his own frustrations but as if those frustrations were of the other family members. A mirror.

    He is The Envy Materialized in a Human Body. Hi is like a terrorist whose doctrine is The Envy. He can immolate himself, or ruin completely his life, if such effort can destroy his victim(s).


    Have a parasite-like lifestyle. His narcissism labels any work as offensive.
     

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    A pathological envious is always a Psychopath?
    A sadistic or an addict to inflict suffering is always a Psychopath?

    My brother is both, a pathologycal envious + a sadistic harasser. ( have high I. Q.. A machinator, a mastermind of manipulation)
    Any counsel to deal with his elaborated spider webs?

    Can the guy obtain sexual gratification from inflict suffering (or from the harasser behaviour)? Can be a sexopathy? An addiction?
    There is a medication?
     

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    Which books recommends?
    I have The Mask of Sanity http://www.cassiopaea.org/cass/sanity_1.PdF

    Which is the criteria to choose a deep, serious treatise; and specially useful for dealing with everyday psychpaths?

    Bezoar
     

  28. #27  
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    Really, how to deal with his spider webs?

    For 1: Don't use that, what you fear to lose.
    - Don't lend a car to someone who will definitely crash it, unless you care about the car more then about the guy. Unless he puts his life in jeapardy. Etc.
    - Don't give him a knife, while holding your finger out, unless you want to lose it.

    It still holds for the more complex things though.

    2. Don't get in to deep, don't do any "favors" and don't fall for treaths, as treaths are his tools.

    3. Stop thinking he's smart. He's a manipulator on his turf, but in the world he's a fish outside of his bowl.

    4. Start working out, and learn to handle a bat. Not to actually hit him, but for psychopaths, a great physical appearance is more of a block.

    5. Stop thinking about it so much. It's your brother, you probably had a hand in it on making him a psychopath in the first place, probably by your own psychotic behavior.

    6. Good luck with the rest.
    Growing up, i marveled at star-trek's science, and ignored the perfect society. Now, i try to ignore their science, and marvel at the society.

    Imagine, being able to create matter out of thin air, and not coming up with using drones for boarding hostile ships. Or using drones to defend your own ship. Heck, using drones to block energy attacks, counterattack or for surveillance. Unless, of course, they are nano-machines in your blood, which is a billion times more complex..
     

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    Im more and more doubting the veracity of your statements Bezoar. The amount of vitriol you are posting is NOT indicative of a unbiased opinion, and has the ring of exaggeration, at least.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zwolver View Post
    Really, how to deal with his spider webs?

    For 1: Don't use that, what you fear to lose.
    - Don't lend a car to someone who will definitely crash it, unless you care about the car more then about the guy. Unless he puts his life in jeapardy. Etc.
    - Don't give him a knife, while holding your finger out, unless you want to lose it.

    It still holds for the more complex things though.

    2. Don't get in to deep, don't do any "favors" and don't fall for treaths, as treaths are his tools.

    3. Stop thinking he's smart. He's a manipulator on his turf, but in the world he's a fish outside of his bowl.

    4. Start working out, and learn to handle a bat. Not to actually hit him, but for psychopaths, a great physical appearance is more of a block.

    5. Stop thinking about it so much. It's your brother, you probably had a hand in it on making him a psychopath in the first place, probably by your own psychotic behavior.

    6. Good luck with the rest.
    Special Thanks to you Zwolver.
    Do you recommend any law strategy, court order?

    You takes seriously my claim, maybe because my spanish lex, most of forum members thinks my psychopathic harasser is a fantasy.
     

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    Quote Originally Posted by Paleoichneum View Post
    Im more and more doubting the veracity of your statements Bezoar. The amount of vitriol you are posting is NOT indicative of a unbiased opinion, and has the ring of exaggeration, at least.
    Vitriol...

    yes, my replies seems filled with vitrol. but it is because my language of origin is spanish, and because i'm not a psychiatrist. But a campus rapist.
     

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    Quote Originally Posted by bezoar View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Paleoichneum View Post
    Im more and more doubting the veracity of your statements Bezoar. The amount of vitriol you are posting is NOT indicative of a unbiased opinion, and has the ring of exaggeration, at least.
    Vitriol...

    yes, my replies seems filled with vitrol. but it is because my language of origin is spanish, and because i'm not a psychiatrist. But a campus rapist.
    Maybe, the vitrioled texts are because i didnt mention my father isnt impartial, indeed, considering the Hare Pychopathy Checklist, i'm pretty sure he could have Antisocial Personality Disorder too.

    Why i could have the intention to discuss about a fantasy (psychopathic harasser)? To spend my time in such senseless way?
     

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    I would love to scan to you my notebook with memories about my odd brother, ... they are in spanish...
    they are so twisted, so strange...sometimes i think he is the alter ego of Demian, or an abstruse accident of nature.
     

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    Which are the strangests illegal drugs? He consumed Ayahuasca, Allucinogenic Fungus,..

    I'm really worry, which drug test could detect his exotic drugs?

     

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    He is the rarest creature on this planet. Cmon guys why nobody believes me? Im desperate!, completely desperate! Why im jokin, why im a nut,
    This stuff is makin me crazy,
     

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    [QUOTE=John Galt;321336]
    Quote Originally Posted by bezoar View Post
    I respect this forum, what would i win making fun of you?
    There are many reasons apart from 'makin fun' of forum members that could explain why your posts were not objective. Posting comments in large blue font does not help to convince me.

    Quote Originally Posted by bezoar View Post
    Holy demonomantia!!!!
    Which are these reasons? I could be a writer of psychologycal terror novels?
     

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    Quote Originally Posted by bezoar View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Paleoichneum View Post
    Im more and more doubting the veracity of your statements Bezoar. The amount of vitriol you are posting is NOT indicative of a unbiased opinion, and has the ring of exaggeration, at least.
    Vitriol...

    yes, my replies seems filled with vitrol. but it is because my language of origin is spanish, and because i'm not a psychiatrist. But a campus rapist.
    you sound bitter and so are trying to make people take your side with any means possible
    If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. -Thorin Oakenshield

    The needs of the many outweigh the need of the few - Spock of Vulcan & Sentinel Prime of Cybertron ---proof that "the needs" are in the eye of the beholder.
     

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    hi i need every1's help. my brother is alos like pshycopath. he hates my father. he tries to hurt my father wen he is sleeping in night..in day time he sometimes abuses him. he hasnt completed his college. now he is at home for 5 yrs without any work. he just locks the room and uses internet. pls advise. how to deal with him.i am scared to talk to him. now he doesnt even talk to anyone. will he be fine. now he is 27. i sometimes feel he is gonna kill every1 in da family. ..if he gets anger he doesnt know wat he does...pls lemme know if you need any more info..i just want him to be cured...just like anyother normal person...pls pls pls help

    you can ping/mail me to my yahoo id anitha87jan@yahoo.com
     

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    Your first course of action should probably be contacting the local authorities. This is not something we are qualified to comment on,
    If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. -Thorin Oakenshield

    The needs of the many outweigh the need of the few - Spock of Vulcan & Sentinel Prime of Cybertron ---proof that "the needs" are in the eye of the beholder.
     

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    Forum Bachelors Degree dmwyant's Avatar
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    Interesting how similar bezoar and aniChennai's problems are.

    For both of you. Stop trying to diagnose others unless you have a bloody degree and training. If it is really a problem seek counciling. If it is a violent problem go to the bloody Police. Posting here begging for help is a waste of time and resources. If you are to scared to stand up for yourself we cannot stand up for you. Get some cojones and deal with the situation. Several people have offered excellent logical advice on what to do but you refuse to listen so why should they continue to help?
     

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    Quote Originally Posted by bezoar View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Sealeaf View Post
    The no contact rule is still the best answer if a person is truely malicious. Don't share housing with such a person. Move away.
    I dont have the money to buy my new house. I'm planning to buy it in April 2013. To rent a department, means spend my money.
    Another 2 problems are:

    1. my mother, father and sister are very religious, and they dont understand that a person can be a unremorseful robot.
    2. my psychopathic ''septic'' brother works in the same place i do. A familiar bussines. I didn´t finish my career because i became paranoid when strange stains and odors constantly appeared on my clothes. [Now, i know he was the autor...but this is a too long story]



    I'm not sure what "He contaminates the bathroom we share (in various and very very ingenious ways" means. But lets say he leaves the cap off the toothpaste. Buy your own tooth paste. Don't leave it in the bathroom. Keep the cap on your tooth paste. Do not recap his tooth paste, ever. Thus he only contaminates his own tooth cleaner. Treat the bathroom as one you share with the public.
    I have an anal fisure, i use a bidet. Then, he let small particles of faeces in. He argues he need to use the bidet because his obesity (after a pathetic failure in university, he became fasfood addict, indeed i suspect he consumes illegal drugs). He always cover with soap the handle of the wasbasin, in a way that seems neglection.
    The doctor has diagnosed him a depression due to strong frustrations, because he was expelled from college, among other frustrated lofty goals (unrealistic).

    How do i know it is not neglection?
    I've seen he never rinse, just let water falling over his hand. When i ask him if it's a tic, he always evades.


    Explore the possiblity that the issue may be with you and your obcessive compulsive disorder

    when
    he was expelled from the university because his arrogant anddisrespectful behaviour he started to throw slappings on my neck every time he could,
    kicking my door & laughing while i was asleep. HE HAS 30 YEARS OLD.



    too long to write here all thenumerous forms of harassment, and his narcissistic behavior.

    You should attend couples therapy together. Your brother is a dick, hes fat, lazy, uses your stuff without asking, smokes pot etc.... hes just a dick! I don't know about where you live, but in America its commonplace for brothers to mess around and be fairly antagonistic with each other - often in good humor, but not always. You seem obsessive and paranoid about this whole situation. Try to keep in mind that if your brother does have some undesirable personality traits there heritable, and may exist in you aswell.
     

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    Quote Originally Posted by dmwyant View Post
    Interesting how similar bezoar and aniChennai's problems are.

    For both of you. Stop trying to diagnose others unless you have a bloody degree and training. If it is really a problem seek counciling. If it is a violent problem go to the bloody Police. Posting here begging for help is a waste of time and resources. If you are to scared to stand up for yourself we cannot stand up for you. Get some cojones and deal with the situation. Several people have offered excellent logical advice on what to do but you refuse to listen so why should they continue to help?
    Where i live Police officers are 100% corrupted and/or inefficient. Other legal institutions, same...
     

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    I live in south america. ....Hello?
     

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    You insist, seek the opinion of a professional. This is the best joke i ever heard, ha ha ha.
    I live in the wild west, in a big guetto, every head have a price (with all the respect to decent people of south america)
     

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    And I think you are over reacting to every situation to gain attention.
    dmwyant likes this.
    If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. -Thorin Oakenshield

    The needs of the many outweigh the need of the few - Spock of Vulcan & Sentinel Prime of Cybertron ---proof that "the needs" are in the eye of the beholder.
     

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    Do psychopaths enjoy music? If yes, why? how much?; how is it possible for a person whose brain dont produce feelings?
     

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    bezoar,
    You really need to do some research on what a psychopath actually is. Their brains produce feelings they just are unable to process the difference between right and wrong as has been explained before. They can still feel happiness, joy, sadness etc. Most psychopaths and sociopaths enjoy music. As for why and how much? that depends on the individual.
    Not all who wander are lost... Some of us just misplaced our destination.

    I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of a man is to live, not to exist.
    -Jack London
     

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    Quote Originally Posted by dmwyant View Post
    bezoar,
    You really need to do some research on what a psychopath actually is.
    Robert Hare's Lectures and Presentations The official website of R. Hare dissapoint me. Its forum rejects all my intends to subscribe. In addition the information provided by this site is ambiguos, vague, and is not useful to deal with the 'psychopath next door' (My free downloaded DSM IV says persons with APD constitutes the 3% of male population. Is that true? It is terrible!).

    Their brains produce feelings they just are unable to process the difference between right and wrong as has been explained before. They can still feel happiness, joy, sadness etc. Most psychopaths and sociopaths enjoy music.
    I would like to know which kind of music they enjoys. Please could you tell me the names of some songs? I understand they feel happiness when con a girlfriend; when swindle intelligent people; when theft once and again and feels the adrenaline push them to refine their methods... How could sound such 'soundtrack' inside their minds?...


    As for why and how much? that depends on the individual
    Are you saying many different levels of psychopathy exist? Maybe some low-level psychos are fighting constantly against their 'criminal' thoughts...it makes me feel sad; because maybe he is a priest and is fighting against his abnormal biology.
     

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    Quote Originally Posted by bezoar View Post
    As for why and how much? that depends on the individual
    Are you saying many different levels of psychopathy exist? Maybe some low-level psychos are fighting constantly against their 'criminal' thoughts...it makes me feel sad; because maybe he is a priest and is fighting against his abnormal biology.
    If true, i cant understand which kind of God could rule biology in that way. This is perhaps one of the gloomiest fights i can imagine.
     

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    Not familiar with Robert Hare. As for your DSM IV if you think about it 3% of 3.3 billion ( the approximate male population of the world) is a relatively small number only 99 million people. out of a world wide population number 6.8 billion total.
    The type of music someone with any mental disorder enjoys varies between the individual. Just because Bob and Steve suffer the same mental problem does not mean they are the same when it comes to personal preferences. Bob may be a little bit Country where Steve may be a little bit Rock and Roll. If a person is fighting their "psychotic urges" or criminal thoughts as you say then they know the difference between right and wrong and therefore, by definition, are NOT Psychopathic. Remember, Psychopaths, true psychopaths, do not know the difference between right and wrong. Therefore there is no conflict and they will not try to wage a mental war against their tendencies.
    Not all who wander are lost... Some of us just misplaced our destination.

    I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of a man is to live, not to exist.
    -Jack London
     

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    Quote Originally Posted by dmwyant View Post
    Remember, Psychopaths, true psychopaths, do not know the difference between right and wrong. Therefore there is no conflict and they will not try to wage a mental war against their tendencies.
    Ok. then, which illegal activities do low lvel psychopaths?
    which illegal activities can do a low-level psychopath in a country with an excellent police, and legal system as Finland?
     

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    There is no such thing as a "low-level psychopath". Either you are or you are not. In the words of Yoda "Do or do not... There is no try."
    Not all who wander are lost... Some of us just misplaced our destination.

    I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of a man is to live, not to exist.
    -Jack London
     

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    Quote Originally Posted by dmwyant View Post
    Remember, Psychopaths, true psychopaths, do not know the difference between right and wrong. Therefore there is no conflict and they will not try to wage a mental war against their tendencies.
    I cant understand it. Only schizophrenics, alcoholics, dements who distort the reality can hurt and feel no remorse.
    A psychopath (lucid person) do geometric analysis of the destructions (i.e. as a robot android). An android or a psychopath, both can see themselves in a mirror and understand that a cut inflicted in any body part produce cellular destruction, and physical pain (whether their sadomasochist brains could enjoy it somehow), then they deduce the same effects can be produced in another person/android robot/psychopath/animal, etc.
     

  54. #53  
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    your brother is NOT a psychopath. you just seem to have crappy family dynamics
    If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. -Thorin Oakenshield

    The needs of the many outweigh the need of the few - Spock of Vulcan & Sentinel Prime of Cybertron ---proof that "the needs" are in the eye of the beholder.
     

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    benzoar,

    I'm sorry to hear that you are having difficulties with your brother. Regardless of whether he fits the clinical definition of a psychopath or not, I have some ideas to offer that may improve your living situation.

    Firstly, I would suggest that you step up your efforts to document his harassment of you. You mentioned in your first post that he ensures there are no witnesses to his actions - have you ever considered purchasing some hidden cameras and secretly filming his actions? There are definitely individuals out there who will exact their abuses in ways that are so ridiculous, unbelievable, or contrary to the way they normally behave to ensure that anyone who is informed about them second hand will have trouble believing the accounts. If you have audio and video recordings of him acting out, you may be able to convey the severity of the situation to friends and family members and win allies for your cause.

    Secondly, it would be a good idea for your to contact your local authorities to find out if your brother is committing any crimes in the process of his harassment. I understand that you may live in a country where the police and legal system are not as effectual as in other places, but you may be able to find someone who is willing to help you out and you won't know for certain unless you reach out and try. Be as gracious and polite as possible to everyone you speak with, bring them coffee, or do other courtesies that may win favor with them if they are otherwise be unwilling to do their jobs. If it turns out that he has committed a crime, you will need to assess whether or not you want him prosecuted. If prosecution will result in jail time, mandatory therapy for him, or anything else that might help remove him from your environment, then it may very well be worth it. However, if the punishment is smaller (like him having to pay a fine), prosecuting may only serve to further antagonize him and worsen your living conditions. Naturally, you will be expected to provide evidence of his crime, which my previous suggestion might help with.

    Lastly, something you can do which could have an immediate impact on him would be for you to try and exercise some basic social interaction techniques and better understand your brother's reason for acting out. There is a book called "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie that I've found to be tremendously helpful in day to day interactions with people who are otherwise very difficult. The book outlines and clarifies some principles that are common to most (if not all) people that will seem fairly obvious when you read them, but actually do work when applied to your own social interactions where other techniques in dealing with people have failed to produce a favorable result. You may be pleasantly surprised to discover that he will respond better to you if you modify your own behavior towards him.

    Best of luck to you! I hope you're able to get some relief from his harassment.
     

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    Quote Originally Posted by Paleoichneum View Post
    your brother is NOT a psychopath. you just seem to have crappy family dynamics
    In other words...
    I dont know if he is a psycho, but statistics say 3% are. What i know is he have a mental disorder, not a psychologycal but an organic disorder, because he always refused every form of work, whether domestic works or formal works. He has strange tics that seems gym excercises, and he do they in public! has no shame, and never explain the reasons of such rituals.
     

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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturn View Post
    benzoar,

    I'm sorry to hear that you are having difficulties with your brother. Regardless of whether he fits the clinical definition of a psychopath or not, I have some ideas to offer that may improve your living situation.

    Firstly, I would suggest that you step up your efforts to document his harassment of you. You mentioned in your first post that he ensures there are no witnesses to his actions - have you ever considered purchasing some hidden cameras and secretly filming his actions? There are definitely individuals out there who will exact their abuses in ways that are so ridiculous, unbelievable, or contrary to the way they normally behave to ensure that anyone who is informed about them second hand will have trouble believing the accounts. If you have audio and video recordings of him acting out, you may be able to convey the severity of the situation to friends and family members and win allies for your cause. .
    Saturn. Thank you so much.
    My father is a harasser too, it seems hereditary. Ragard the cameras, this is the only guaranteed site i know Tienda Espía de Vigilancia y Espionaje - FACTORIA ESPIA - 691111111, but i have only a debit card visa. My parents will never agree to spend too much money (here only one surveyllance camera + recorder costs aprox. $200 without a reliable reparation service) in this.

    Apart, my brother is a sort of pollution bullier, uses the method of contamination (covers with dandruff my keyboard often; covers with soap the handle of the washbasin; when walks, his hands never brushes his hips, in order to volatilize his soap-dust everytime i appear, through body/hair massaging and/or flaps over his voluminous stomach [my parents thinks they are ''tics'']) because my father is a harasser too, and my mother is an old woman, emotional, easily influenced by psychiatrists, and tend to be absentminded, non perceptive.



    Secondly, it would be a good idea for your to contact your local authorities to find out if your brother is committing any crimes in the process of his harassment. I understand that you may live in a country where the police and legal system are not as effectual as in other places, but you may be able to find someone who is willing to help you out and you won't know for certain unless you reach out and try. Be as gracious and polite as possible to everyone you speak with, bring them coffee, or do other courtesies that may win favor with them if they are otherwise be unwilling to do their jobs. If it turns out that he has committed a crime, you will need to assess whether or not you want him prosecuted. If prosecution will result in jail time, mandatory therapy for him, or anything else that might help remove him from your environment, then it may very well be worth it. However, if the punishment is smaller (like him having to pay a fine), prosecuting may only serve to further antagonize him and worsen your living conditions. Naturally, you will be expected to provide evidence of his crime, which my previous suggestion might help with.
    My parents are really confused and afraid regard his mental condition. Specially because he never explained the reasons of his behaviours. The core is a reluctance to any form of work and effort, no matter how easy it could be, besides an arrogant attitude and glibbering of 'erudite' during his 17-25 y.o. (Now, he is 31 years old. Paradoxically he express to have poor self-steem and feel marginalized because didn't ended any career [but he had the best opportunities!]).
     

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    Quote Originally Posted by bezoar View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Paleoichneum View Post
    your brother is NOT a psychopath. you just seem to have crappy family dynamics
    In other words...
    I dont know if he is a psycho, but statistics say 3% are. What i know is he have a mental disorder, not a psychologycal but an organic disorder, because he always refused every form of work, whether domestic works or formal works. He has strange tics that seems gym excercises, and he do they in public! has no shame, and never explain the reasons of such rituals.
    You have crappy family dynamics, and hes lazy (i your opinion, we have yet to get any objective information)....
    If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. -Thorin Oakenshield

    The needs of the many outweigh the need of the few - Spock of Vulcan & Sentinel Prime of Cybertron ---proof that "the needs" are in the eye of the beholder.
     

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    All of this personal angst could be saved if you'd just separate yourself from him.

    Moving out may be difficult. Given what you've described I'd need persuading that continuing to live with him is easier than moving away.

    Even if you're wrong in your perceptions of him and the whole family dynamics, you'd still be better off getting away from something that upsets you so badly.
    "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." Winston Churchill
    "nature is like a game of Jenga; you never know which brick you pull out will cause the whole stack to collapse" Lucy Cooke
     

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    Quote Originally Posted by Paleoichneum View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by bezoar View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Paleoichneum View Post
    your brother is NOT a psychopath. you just seem to have crappy family dynamics
    In other words...
    I dont know if he is a psycho, but statistics say 3% are. What i know is he have a mental disorder, not a psychologycal but an organic disorder, because he always refused every form of work, whether domestic works or formal works. He has strange tics that seems gym excercises, and he do they in public! has no shame, and never explain the reasons of such rituals.
    You have crappy family dynamics, and hes lazy (i your opinion, we have yet to get any objective information)....
    My father is a harasser too, but in an opposite way. He do malicious harassments disguised of 'responsibility', 'punctuality','unintentional absntminded'(hit me with the bathrrom door [curiously my brother used to annoys me with very similar 'absentmindeds', and true annoying jokes, in past times]; extraordinary coincidences when in the corridores, stairs; do scaldalous door noises during some daybreaks, etc) 'misinformed'. For example, feings confussions, misunderstandings, to do interminable phone ringings, once and again; during my siesta (only when he is angry). My door is always open, only closed when doing siesta, his room is in front of my room.

    How i know they are truly malicious? 'Cause are interminable, and only to say: is your mother there? (my mother carry his cell phone), or the same old counsels.

    He invented other numerous annoying practices, but too long to wirite here. An hereditary disorder is Highly probable
     

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    Bullshit. Its most likely not a hereditary anything. Its just that you are easily annoyed and dont get along well with your family. Stop trying to find other things to blame it on.
    If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. -Thorin Oakenshield

    The needs of the many outweigh the need of the few - Spock of Vulcan & Sentinel Prime of Cybertron ---proof that "the needs" are in the eye of the beholder.
     

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    Quote Originally Posted by Paleoichneum View Post
    Bullshit. Its most likely not a hereditary anything. Its just that you are easily annoyed and dont get along well with your family. Stop trying to find other things to blame it on.
    What convinced you of it? Im not exagerating anytín.
    I have training in scientific method, im objective.
     

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    Quote Originally Posted by bezoar View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Paleoichneum View Post
    Bullshit. Its most likely not a hereditary anything. Its just that you are easily annoyed and dont get along well with your family. Stop trying to find other things to blame it on.
    What convinced you of it? Im not exagerating anytín.
    I have training in scientific method, im objective.
    benzoar, may I offer you more advice? Focus less on the posts that are disputing your objectivity and spend more of your time and efforts trying to improve your situation. There are a lot of helpful posts on here that offer good advice. To follow up on your response to my previous post, you should check out Amazon's spy cameras. They are a reputable company, they ship internationally, and they have some that sell for a lot less than $200. Some are sold in the forms of every day items (alarm clocks, pens, lighters, etc) that are designed to record video and audio inconspicuously. Given what you've said about your parents, I still think finding an ally for yourself outside of your family would be a good idea. If you work on solidly documenting these problems with your brother, perhaps it can help you to achieve some relief from the problems he is causing for you. Look into other housing options. I know it can be frustrating to have to deal with a person like your brother on a daily basis, but if you adopt the attitude that you are going to continue to try to be creative and search for solutions instead of coming up with reasons why suggestions won't work, you may be able to improve your situation that way. Best of luck to you.
     

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    As I understand it, there's really no cure for psychopathy. Any belief you have that you're going to change him is false hope.


    Quote Originally Posted by bezoar View Post

    Have a parasite-like lifestyle. His narcissism labels any work as offensive.
    Here's where it starts. Psychopathy is an advanced form of narcissism. Just to keep everyone on the same page, here's the wiki on it:

    Psychopathy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    Quote Originally Posted by Zwolver View Post

    3. Stop thinking he's smart. He's a manipulator on his turf, but in the world he's a fish outside of his bowl.

    4. Start working out, and learn to handle a bat. Not to actually hit him, but for psychopaths, a great physical appearance is more of a block.

    .
    I much agree with #3, but I'd say be careful with #4. Psychopaths have the problem that they can kill you. Your brother is probably not unlike any number of abusive husbands out there who eventually kill their wives. In this case, he's chosen to be abusive to you instead because you care about him enough to let him. That caring about him is ultimately what is causing all of your pain.

    He doesn't care about your or himself.

    Quote Originally Posted by Paleoichneum View Post
    Im more and more doubting the veracity of your statements Bezoar. The amount of vitriol you are posting is NOT indicative of a unbiased opinion, and has the ring of exaggeration, at least.
    It's not unlike a psychopath to go over the top. It's a small scale application of "big lie" theory. Do something sufficiently over the top, and nobody will believe when the victim tells others because it's too far a departure from their expectations of normal behavior. This is also similar to how sexual predators who abuse children operate.

    A sadistic psychopath would actually derive pleasure from watching their victim describe their behaviors and have nobody believe. Or from doing something so humiliating that the victim is unwilling to admit to it.

    Quote Originally Posted by dmwyant View Post
    Interesting how similar bezoar and aniChennai's problems are.

    For both of you. Stop trying to diagnose others unless you have a bloody degree and training. If it is really a problem seek counciling. If it is a violent problem go to the bloody Police. Posting here begging for help is a waste of time and resources. If you are to scared to stand up for yourself we cannot stand up for you. Get some cojones and deal with the situation. Several people have offered excellent logical advice on what to do but you refuse to listen so why should they continue to help?
    It's not wise to confront a psychopath too forcefully. You're only getting to the cajones to face your own defeate and/or humiliation. Most psychopaths do not feel fear. They will remain totally calm and rational while you shout at them, all the while looking for a way to exploit your emotional state to their ends.

    The most effective way to deal with a psychopath is to be 100% totally not emotional.

    Quote Originally Posted by bezoar View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by dmwyant View Post
    Remember, Psychopaths, true psychopaths, do not know the difference between right and wrong. Therefore there is no conflict and they will not try to wage a mental war against their tendencies.
    I cant understand it. Only schizophrenics, alcoholics, dements who distort the reality can hurt and feel no remorse.
    A psychopath (lucid person) do geometric analysis of the destructions (i.e. as a robot android). An android or a psychopath, both can see themselves in a mirror and understand that a cut inflicted in any body part produce cellular destruction, and physical pain (whether their sadomasochist brains could enjoy it somehow), then they deduce the same effects can be produced in another person/android robot/psychopath/animal, etc.
    Psychopaths do distort reality. They think that whole reality centers around them.
    Some clocks are only right twice a day, but they are still right when they are right.
     

  65. #64  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturn View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by bezoar View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Paleoichneum View Post
    Bullshit. Its most likely not a hereditary anything. Its just that you are easily annoyed and dont get along well with your family. Stop trying to find other things to blame it on.
    What convinced you of it? Im not exagerating anytín.
    I have training in scientific method, im objective.
    benzoar, may I offer you more advice? Focus less on the posts that are disputing your objectivity and spend more of your time and efforts trying to improve your situation. There are a lot of helpful posts on here that offer good advice. To follow up on your response to my previous post, you should check out Amazon's spy cameras. They are a reputable company, they ship internationally, and they have some that sell for a lot less than $200. Some are sold in the forms of every day items (alarm clocks, pens, lighters, etc) that are designed to record video and audio inconspicuously. Given what you've said about your parents, I still think finding an ally for yourself outside of your family would be a good idea. If you work on solidly documenting these problems with your brother, perhaps it can help you to achieve some relief from the problems he is causing for you. Look into other housing options. I know it can be frustrating to have to deal with a person like your brother on a daily basis, but if you adopt the attitude that you are going to continue to try to be creative and search for solutions instead of coming up with reasons why suggestions won't work, you may be able to improve your situation that way. Best of luck to you.
    Thanks Saturn, for being open minded

    I bought a radioshack cam, failed completely. I became distrustful regard cams. The marks are unknown for me. How i can be sure the guarantee is valid/feasible for South America too? Where (in Perú- South America) i could find a Repair Service for it?
     

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    Quote Originally Posted by kojax View Post

    I cant understand it. Only schizophrenics, alcoholics, dements who distort the reality can hurt and feel no remorse.
    A psychopath (lucid person) do geometric analysis of the destructions (i.e. as a robot android). An android or a psychopath, both can see themselves in a mirror and understand that a cut inflicted in any body part produce cellular destruction, and physical pain (whether their sadomasochist brains could enjoy it somehow), then they deduce the same effects can be produced in another person/android robot/psychopath/animal, etc.


    Psychopaths do distort reality. They think that whole reality centers around them.
    Have you medical training?. Could you explain how these mental mechanisms works?
     

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    Quote Originally Posted by kojax View Post

    Quote Originally Posted by Paleoichneum View Post
    Im more and more doubting the veracity of your statements Bezoar. The amount of vitriol you are posting is NOT indicative of a unbiased opinion, and has the ring of exaggeration, at least.
    It's not unlike a psychopath to go over the top. It's a small scale application of "big lie" theory. Do something sufficiently over the top, and nobody will believe when the victim tells others because it's too far a departure from their expectations of normal behavior. This is also similar to how sexual predators who abuse children operate.

    A sadistic psychopath would actually derive pleasure from watching their victim describe their behaviors and have nobody believe. Or from doing something so humiliating that the victim is unwilling to admit to it.
    I see the pleasure in his eyes, in his facial expression, always after he do his chemical/bacterial/auditive harassments.
    He seems the Terminator, the bad one, programmed to read & manipulate the psychologycal features of all family members. He punishes all members, but i am his favourite prey; maybe because we compete, we are the only young males of the family.

    When 5 years old he used to won in chesses to all, all family members; i truly thought he was a genius, a prodigy, but very lazy. It scared me a lot during my childhood. My sister sometimes played jokes about the 666 underneath his hair (Demian - The Omen).

    I have the option to consult a forensic psychiatrist, because my godmother lives in US. Could he cheat all psychiatric tests?

     

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    I will no discuss anything more on it, i'll focus on helpful posts on here that offer good advice.
     

  69. #68  
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    Quote Originally Posted by bezoar View Post
    Could he cheat all psychiatric tests?

    He's probably not smart enough to cheat them, but not all tests look for his disorder. It's technically not considered a form of insanity. There's no medication to cure/suppress it. It's a personality disorder.

    Diagnosing it wouldn't really make any difference.

    The best way to stop a psychopath is to simply not respond emotionally. Don't let him feel like he's gaining power over you. Don't let him see you be emotionally outraged. Be annoyed, but not hurt. Make a proportional, measured, and fully logical response. For example, if you've been cooking dinner for him, stop cooking it for a while when he does something evil. Whatever kindnesses you're showing, make them contingent on his behavior and cease to do them when he crosses you. Also don't have just one thing. Have a wide assortment of them, so he knows you won't run out of ways to punish him. And focus not on things that will cause him pain, but rather on things that will merely inconvenience him. (Boredom/tedium... etc appeal to the part of his brain that still works right.)

    I think a lot of psychopaths simply can't understand emotion. Perhaps they deliberately cause emotional responses in others in order to study it, out of curiosity toward an experience they themselves know they can never share in. Even pain is better than no emotion at all.
    Some clocks are only right twice a day, but they are still right when they are right.
     

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