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Thread: A Woman should never be taken at face value..

  1. #1 A Woman should never be taken at face value.. 
    Forum Junior Kolt's Avatar
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    Here's my theory: Women are multi-dimensional.

    My father once told me that all women have secretes. To this, I agree. I don't think it is possible for a man to ever fully understand every emotional truth a woman possess and, yes, they do posses more than one. I'm not here to accuse women of being constant liars (deception is a trait subject to both genders) but I will make a case that all women, or at least women in general, are inherent emotional poker players: There's always a card (feeling) they're not showing you - sometimes an entire hand.

    More than once have I interfaced with a woman casually, 'beit at my job or in small social circles, only to suspect that between us lies some kind of deeper attraction. This isn't vanity talking; just that basic awareness that all people have regarding physical or emotional attraction. What I have discovered, however, is that unlike men, who generally act in direct response to their feelings, i.g. "I like this girl; I've got a feeling she likes me. I'm gonna' take the next step." women often play disinterest or even total obliviousness to the situation.

    I once worked with girl who I was very attracted to and I'm pretty sure the feeling was mutual. All the signals were there, and more: The smiles, the blushing, the constant direct eye contact--laughing at everything I say. We were always sharing little inside jokes - we had are own personal clique. Sometimes she would even call me at work or come in on her off-time to talk or joke about something. There was just one slight little problem: She had a boyfriend. As a result, I would flirt with her as much as possible while never overstepping my boundaries. In other words I would flirt with her without ever actually "hitting" on her. And I certainly never asked her out on any dates.

    What's peculiar is how well she feigned any interest what-so-ever in pursuing the relationship or even the idea or subtle innuendo of pursuing the relationship beyond casual. It's not that I expected her to ditch her boyfriend, to whom she lived with, in favor of me but whenever the conversation would drift towards the subject of what was really going on between her and I - no matter how subtle or under the false pretense of being a joke - she would act as if there was nothing going on at all. It's hard to explain what I mean by this because we never actually discussed the matter. Yet there were certain impressions I would get from this girl, in contrast to the vibes that said "Yes", that seemed dismissive of the whole thing - as if she had this kind of at-work relationship with all the other guys as well, which she didn't. I know that some of you probably suspect that I was just imagining all of this, but I assure I wasn't.

    Either way--and for the sake of argument, I came to the conclusion that this girl had multiple angles and, further more, I have discovered this to be the case with all women. Obviously, women are as emotionally complex as men, if not more so. Yet women are also more intuitive to their emotions - some deeper sense of awareness - and therefore are more selective with their feelings and how they behave in accordance. I think that women are in greater control of "The Game" that is played between sexes, which is why they always seem to be one step ahead of us guys, which is why us guys often stumble into confusion when trying to figure what a woman is really thinking or feeling.


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  3. #2  
    Forum Masters Degree organic god's Avatar
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    It is possible for people to like more than one person.

    However with the girl you like she was already commited to what sounds like a serious relationship and maybe she didn't acknowledge this connection between you as she didn't want to lose her current boyfriend.
    Perhaps she decided not to discuss a connection between you as if she admitted there was, it could have made you pursue a relationship with her giving her a difficult choice to make.


    everything is mathematical.
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  4. #3  
    Forum Cosmic Wizard paralith's Avatar
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    I don't necessarily disagree with your statements Kolt, but I do disagree that men are so much simpler to understand than women. Male and female brains are wired differently, so clearly understanding each other is never going to be clear unless you explicitly set down to talk about it - at which point you may even still talk past each other.

    Some women like to verify for themselves that they are still able to attract a mate, even if they currently have one - most likely to satisfy any underlying fears they have about their current relationship. Traditionally, female humans have had to be particularly concerned about who is going to help support them and their children in the future. If something happens to their mate or their relationship, their reproductive success will suffer significantly. So, (1) they of course want to reduce risk to the current relationship, so they will deny any activity that might do so, and (2) they want to feel that they are capable of replacing their mate should anything happen to him.
    Man can will nothing unless he has first understood that he must count on no one but himself; that he is alone, abandoned on earth in the midst of his infinite responsibilities, without help, with no other aim than the one he sets himself, with no other destiny than the one he forges for himself on this earth.
    ~Jean-Paul Sartre
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  5. #4  
    Forum Freshman Cynical Seductress's Avatar
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    1. "Be it" and 'Beit" are different words, " 'beit" apparently being used as a contraction of " albeit " and "be it" meaning "be it." "Albeit" is synonymous with "nevertheless," "notwithstanding," etc. Clearly not the appropriate word in your context.

    2. " 'beit " does not exist as a word.

    3. In my experience, no matter what situations or underlying emotions exist, being direct easily gets through it. If you think she is harboring some secretive feeling or emotion, just ask "what are you feeling" or "what are you not telling me." Don't joke, or play, or try to be subliminal; those are all sign of weakness. Do not worry about scaring her off by being direct. Subconsciously and even physiologically, women NEED to be domineered. Paralith is right, that 'wiring' is what made Ardipithecus hunter groups able to migrate and breed, and 4 million years is not nearly enough time to have altered that.

    4. The "multi-dimentional" excuse is a 1-dimensional cop-out of an answer that will keep you from finding a real one. No amount or type of hormone impairs a person's ability to hear a question and give an answer. Be confident, and do not show hesitation or weakness; and she will respond to you. It's science.
    Humanity cheats Natural Selection because its inferiors are allowed to continue to exist. Inevitably, there will be no way to escape obesity, diabetes, stupidity, and hair loss. Do me a favor by killing yourself and your family.
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  6. #5  
    Forum Cosmic Wizard paralith's Avatar
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    Cynical, I don't think I agree that women NEED to be domineered. Some women may prefer a domineering mate but I don't think that's a generalization you can draw. In general women prefer mates that are capable of supporting them, whatever that entails - whether being a good hunter in a hunter-gatherer group, or having a large herd in a tribal pastoralist group, or being socially confident and having a good job in a modern westernized country.

    And I would like to quickly address your Ardipithecus comment. I assume you're trying to emphasize the antiquity of the differences between males and females. Firstly, the most basal differences between males and females have existed as long as sex has existed, as long as one group of individuals with greater offspring investment has mated with a group of individuals with lesser offspring investment - aka, the sex with the egg and the sex with the sperm. Secondly, those differences that are more specific to modern humans, such as the need for a mate willing to invest in offspring, probably didn't come about until at least Homo erectus, and maybe not even until archaic Homo sapiens. Evidence of life history changes that would necessitate male offspring provisioning is decidedly absent in species prior to erectus, and is especially unlikely in Ardipithcus ramidus, considering that it is probably one of the earliest hominid species to exist after the hominid line split from the chimpanzee line - at that point we were little more than chimps that could stand up.
    Man can will nothing unless he has first understood that he must count on no one but himself; that he is alone, abandoned on earth in the midst of his infinite responsibilities, without help, with no other aim than the one he sets himself, with no other destiny than the one he forges for himself on this earth.
    ~Jean-Paul Sartre
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  7. #6  
    Time Lord
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    IMHO Cynical Seductress gave Kolt perfect counsel, to "be direct".

    I think observer bias drives our tendency to think the opposite sex is complex and deeply intriguing. Of course if you're falling in love (bonding) you're sucking up all the info you can get and snorkeling in it. Even if it's half imagined it will do. Even fantasy.

    I had a friend in highschool, a real studmuffin. Tall and broad shouldered rugby player with icy blue eyes and bashful boyish grin. And the IQ of a fencepost, so to speak. Very intelligent girls used to say, "He's so interesting...!" You'd think they'd know better... and they did - that was the thing - they were using their imaginations.

    On the other hand, everybody is multidimensional. Most of us just aren't so keen on insight into the same sex.
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  8. #7 Re: A Woman should never be taken at face value.. 
    The Doctor Quantime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kolt
    Here's my theory: Women are multi-dimensional.
    Yeah, they put a superstring manifold theorist to shame.
    "If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe". - Carl Sagan
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  9. #8  
    Forum Freshman Cynical Seductress's Avatar
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    Firstly, the most basal differences between males and females have existed as long as sex has existed
    1. Really?? Humans came from something more primitive? I'm so enlightened now, please say more unnecessary things! : )

    2. Who can hunt better, acquire a larger herd, and be more socially confident: a domineering person, or a clown? We are saying the same thing. The fact that such inherent attraction exists beyond humanity only supports it further.

    3. Yes, really.
    Humanity cheats Natural Selection because its inferiors are allowed to continue to exist. Inevitably, there will be no way to escape obesity, diabetes, stupidity, and hair loss. Do me a favor by killing yourself and your family.
    You're not crazy, you won't PM me-
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