Notices
Results 1 to 16 of 16

Thread: Stressed out people...

  1. #1 Stressed out people... 
    墨子 DaBOB's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    1,674
    I didn't really know what to title this so I'll explain:

    So I'm fairly young in the working world. I'm on my second "official" job (not including yard work for the neighbors). In both these jobs I have noticed people can get very stressed and some of the people (usually one or two) get really, really stressed. I on the other hand have some weird opposite mood. I'm excessively relaxed. Too the point were I think it annoys people. I work hard but I never get angry or stressed in a visible way.

    Anyways, I'm just curious if anyone can relate to these two types of people. Do you get really stressed? If so, what do you think causes it? At my current job it's gotten to the point were someone was actually throwing insults and I don't know if it's something that will pass with a nights sleep or if I should talk to the boss about it. I try to be considerate of other people's personalities.
    Are you excessively relaxed? Do you know anyone who is? Does it annoy you?

    Any input is fine. I've just been observing this in both my jobs and it's the only thing that seems to bother me at work. When you get all stressed the customers (in retail that is) can sense it and don't want to be around you and it really bothers me when I have to make up for a co-workers lack of sleep (or whatever is causing the stress). I hate it when a customer comes in and says "that one girl isn't working today is she? She's so rude!"

    So yeah, say what comes to mind.


    Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead... only realize the truth. There is no spoon. Then you'll see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself. -Spoon Boy
    Reply With Quote  
     

  2.  
     

  3. #2  
    WYSIWYG Moderator marnixR's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Cardiff, Wales
    Posts
    5,810
    stress at work usually arises from the demand of getting a job done when you know that you're not properly equiped for it (mentally, time-wise or tools-wise)

    some people take the attitude "i can only do my best, and if that's not good enough, then tough shit", but others are very task-oriented and will go to great lengths to try and complete a job even if it can't be done with the tools / time / brainpower available

    it also helps to lessen stress if you have some input into your own work environment and how work is being done - if you don't have any input + all you can do is work within the confines of the work rules set out by someone else, that's a potential recipe for stress


    "Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away." (Philip K. Dick)
    Reply With Quote  
     

  4. #3  
    The Doctor Quantime's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    4,546
    I find the biggest problem is when teamwork is essential and your team members are very selfish and do not work nowhere near as good as you. It means you have to do more. I actually calcuate quite frequently at work, my work load as a percentage efficiency to my co-workers and as an average, I compared to them, are working at 133% efficiency. As in I'm doing excellent and I'm doing one third of their work load also.

    Fortuantley this is not unnoticed as I regualarly make complaining to myself obviously heard to my bosses sometimes direct, and they ususally spark things up a little, so that doing my 100% workload is actually laid back. I've not been long in this job, but already am separating myself from the majority workforce and mingling with the bosses, who have taken a shine to me already.

    Being a 'baby' however, would any of you wiser of experience say this is suggested?
    "If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe". - Carl Sagan
    Reply With Quote  
     

  5. #4  
    Forum Sophomore Schizo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    164
    What the hell is work?
    Reply With Quote  
     

  6. #5  
    墨子 DaBOB's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    1,674
    Quote Originally Posted by 425 Chaotic Requisition
    I find the biggest problem is when teamwork is essential and your team members are very selfish and do not work nowhere near as good as you. It means you have to do more. I actually calcuate quite frequently at work, my work load as a percentage efficiency to my co-workers and as an average, I compared to them, are working at 133% efficiency. As in I'm doing excellent and I'm doing one third of their work load also.
    Well this sounds exactly like what I may be noticing. One of the co-workers even said something like "think of others". Here's something I notice about that attitude however.
    It seems as though the person in question has brought the extra work on to themselves. They take less time off and don't take the expected amount of time on their lunch break and than get all up tight when other people do. They feel responsible to take on more work yet their performance diminishes.

    Quote Originally Posted by 425 Chaotic Requisition
    Fortuantley this is not unnoticed as I regualarly make complaining to myself obviously heard to my bosses sometimes direct, and they ususally spark things up a little, so that doing my 100% workload is actually laid back. I've not been long in this job, but already am separating myself from the majority workforce and mingling with the bosses, who have taken a shine to me already.
    This is surprisingly similar as well. The person in question is always trying to talk up the boss and point out others mistakes. Yet, we've been at the job the same amount of time and he makes as many mistakes as anyone. The problem being that while they separate themselves from the workers it's an environment where you can't really be separated so instead it makes things tense, which I suspect adds to the stress.

    Quote Originally Posted by 425 Chaotic Requisition
    Being a 'baby' however, would any of you wiser of experience say this is suggested?
    What does this mean? Are you referring to a worker who doesn't work hard? I don't understand.

    Quote Originally Posted by marnixR
    it also helps to lessen stress if you have some input into your own work environment and how work is being done - if you don't have any input + all you can do is work within the confines of the work rules set out by someone else, that's a potential recipe for stress
    Interesting, I think I konow exactly what you're talking about.
    Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead... only realize the truth. There is no spoon. Then you'll see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself. -Spoon Boy
    Reply With Quote  
     

  7. #6  
    The Doctor Quantime's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    4,546
    Thanks for the reply DaBOB. By 'baby' I was referring to my youthful experience of the working enviroment. Thus meaning I am not sure if siding with the bosses even though among the 'grunts' is the wise thing to do. I was thus concerned if it is a wise decision to make.
    "If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe". - Carl Sagan
    Reply With Quote  
     

  8. #7  
    Forum Professor
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,120
    I have just posted quite a bit about work related stress, useful links and stress help guides and wot not, check it out at

    www.stress-relief-4u.blogspot.com

    There is a menu on the right called 'my headlines' you will find the work related stuff in that list, just follow the links.
    'Time is the space between birth and death' by me.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  9. #8 Re: Stressed out people... 
    Forum Professor
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,120
    Quote Originally Posted by DaBOB
    I didn't really know what to title this so I'll explain:

    So I'm fairly young in the working world. I'm on my second "official" job (not including yard work for the neighbors). In both these jobs I have noticed people can get very stressed and some of the people (usually one or two) get really, really stressed. I on the other hand have some weird opposite mood. I'm excessively relaxed. Too the point were I think it annoys people. I work hard but I never get angry or stressed in a visible way.
    See my link above, meanwhile

    Years ago we used to refer to these types as 'Type A and Type B' personalities.

    The very stressed person may be a type A personality and the fact they get VERY stressed in some situations is bad in those situations but on the flip side those same people are the change makers. The movers and the shakers. They move rapidly, think rapidly, problem solve and overall can make good progress in their chosen field. That is as long as the stress aspect does not get the better of them.

    Usually what happens is that they deal with their stress by being explosive and thus release it, whereas those around them feel stressed just observing them explode!

    Stress is only harmful to our health if we do not expend the energy that our body is working us up to expend.

    If you feel stressed, work out, go for a run, yell (in privacy), dance around, meditate, regulate breathing, listen to gentle music, laugh, talk...but DO something. Doing nothing is what results in harm to your health.

    There are of course different types of stress, but heck check the blog for a link to all of those.
    'Time is the space between birth and death' by me.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  10. #9  
    Forum Professor
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,120
    Here's a link re the two types of people you speak of

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Type_A_personality

    It describes type A and type B personality.

    Of course there are lots of variations of extreme in between etc.
    'Time is the space between birth and death' by me.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  11. #10  
    Time Lord
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    5,328
    I agree about personality types. Further, I think that people (unconsciously) create situations where expression of their personalities is appropriate. So if you like an action packed mission critical workday, you'll engineer crisis out of boring order.

    My father's like that. If there is any way to clean the gutter with a chainsaw, atop rickety ladder balanced on the powerlines, he will find it and go to lengths to rationalize it. He will spend twice as long getting all the props ready, as it would take to just do the job the boring way.

    Reason tells us we should aim for happy and easy life. However the human animal is not built to live with such imbalance. We need discomforts and annoyances. Some people more than others. It's a form of exercise. Because we can't rationally seek adversary, we set it up unconsciously.

    Has anyone known the experience of having a rotten day, and then, out of the blue, just laughing at nothing at all, because the laughter needs exercise? Of course the mind would rather find some object to attach that laughter to and is very good at believing what is comfortable. They say when geese hatch the first large moving object seen is believed to be the mother. People who cannot anticipate and channel emotions, hatch emotions like geese all the time.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  12. #11  
    墨子 DaBOB's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    1,674
    Quote Originally Posted by Theoryofrelativity
    Years ago we used to refer to these types as 'Type A and Type B' personalities.
    Ah yes, I do remember reading briefly about this a while back. After going over what you wrote and the wiki I think I am in a situation that is a PERFECT example of a type A and type B working together. At least superficially I would say we are the perfect examples.

    Quote Originally Posted by Theoryofrelativity
    If you feel stressed, work out, go for a run, yell (in privacy), dance around, meditate, regulate breathing, listen to gentle music, laugh, talk...but DO something. Doing nothing is what results in harm to your health.
    Haha, what are the odds. I've been listening to gentle music for a day or two and talking and laughing... and today I rode the bicycle to work (takes an hour), went to a Tibetan Buddhist Monastery and chanted, and sat with a meditation group (not the monastery) for 40 minutes. haha... I guess all that's left to do is dance... and yell.

    Which leads me to some other stuff. I brought this situation up with the meditation group to see what they had to say. I got some really interesting thoughts.

    When you meet someone you sort of develop a picture of them in your head. It's not really intentional but it happens. As you converse with them they respond not to you but to their perception of you.
    I relate it to how our vision works. When we look at something the light is translated into electrical signals which are read by the brain and then projected like a picture in front of us. So what we see isn't really what's in front of us but simply our interpretation of what's in front of us.
    Now to go a little deeper. If a person makes an assumption about you and you take it personally and agree with it, or begin to believe it than you start to become their perception of you. So if they say you are selfish and you believe it than you are now what they have assumed you to be (whether you were that way before or not).
    Now it would seem that if the person is treating you as someone they have invented in their head than they're not actually conversing with you but instead with themselves. So, if they are stressed by your actions it is more likely something in their lives causing the stress and your actions giving them reason to vent it.
    So if the comments or poor treatment isn't taken personally and instead treated with respect and understanding it should, at the very least, help the situation. One recommendation was to assume a space between you and the person in question. This space is infinitely large and they can throw all the garbage they want in it. As long as the space is wide enough, and the garbage doesn't hit you (i.e. you don't take it personally), than it becomes more like a therapy session. They get rid of their frustration and you help them along.

    So those are the thoughts that were brought up. I thought they were pretty good myself.

    Quote Originally Posted by Pong
    Because we can't rationally seek adversary, we set it up unconsciously.
    I believe you are absolutely right. I actually watched an interesting documentary once about roller-coasters. The idea being that the reason people tolerate the sick feeling in the gut and the fear of being hurled into the air is because of this want for action of some kind. Lots of people in the world now live in "peaceful" societies and they have to come up with some way of creating disaster for themselves.

    Quote Originally Posted by Pong
    They say when geese hatch the first large moving object seen is believed to be the mother. People who cannot anticipate and channel emotions, hatch emotions like geese all the time.
    haha... that was fun to read but you totally lost me. So the first thing the emotion sees is it's mother?

    Quote Originally Posted by 425 Chaotic Requisition
    Thanks for the reply DaBOB. By 'baby' I was referring to my youthful experience of the working enviroment. Thus meaning I am not sure if siding with the bosses even though among the 'grunts' is the wise thing to do. I was thus concerned if it is a wise decision to make.
    I got it. In some cases it might be tough and the other 'grunts' may decide to eat you. Something I think is odd about my situation however, is that I think this person who is so stressed out is trying to out compete me. The irony being that I was already offered more pay than I asked and I intentionally want a temporary job and have no intention what soever on "leveling up" or competing.

    Anyways thanks for all y'alls input. I'm trying to make my personal matter as scientifically relevant as I can. But in truth it is a personal matter.
    I'll try to browse through those stress articles when I get some more time, Ms. Gray (I have to get some sleep though or I'll be stressed in the morning).
    Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead... only realize the truth. There is no spoon. Then you'll see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself. -Spoon Boy
    Reply With Quote  
     

  13. #12  
    Time Lord
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    5,328
    Quote Originally Posted by DaBOB
    Quote Originally Posted by Pong
    They say when geese hatch the first large moving object seen is believed to be the mother. People who cannot anticipate and channel emotions, hatch emotions like geese all the time.
    haha... that was fun to read but you totally lost me. So the first thing the emotion sees is it's mother?
    Yup the first thing that comes into view or comes to mind, we assume causes the emotion. It's real easy to see when people do drugs. They think the world suddenly turned silly.

    That "space between you and the person in question" can also be applied to oneself i.e. between one's emotions and the objects/people that really don't deserve them. This requires a sense of just which emotional potentials are rising, and (electrical metaphor) either insulating them or - better! - discharging where appropriate. Sometimes it's good to despair because your favorite team lost, or grow furious at the weather, or, seriously, go jerk yourself off.

    I think the practical solution for peevish emotional sleepwalkers at the workplace is, give them things to gnaw on. Inconsequential things far removed from oneself.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  14. #13  
    Forum Ph.D.
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Everywhere
    Posts
    807
    My parents taught me stress, by the way they reacted to things.........

    tick,tick,tick.....BOOM!

    I learned to 'unlearn' it.

    Most of our behaviors are learned through the example of others, usually our parents.
    Anything learned can be unlearned by replacing it with something else.
    At first it takes careful conscious application, like learning to drive a car. By not reacting in the old mode, the habit of behavior gradually fades and the new conscious behavior takes over until it becomes and unconscious automatic response.

    I wish people would take more interest in reprogramming and updating the software and applications of their brains with the same enthusiasm they do with their computers. It follows a slightly different principle and takes a little longer to download and install, but it works and it's worth it!
    Reply With Quote  
     

  15. #14  
    Forum Professor
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,120
    Quote Originally Posted by Absum!
    My parents taught me stress, by the way they reacted to things.........

    tick,tick,tick.....BOOM!

    I learned to 'unlearn' it.

    Most of our behaviors are learned through the example of others, usually our parents.
    Anything learned can be unlearned by replacing it with something else.
    At first it takes careful conscious application, like learning to drive a car. By not reacting in the old mode, the habit of behavior gradually fades and the new conscious behavior takes over until it becomes and unconscious automatic response.

    I wish people would take more interest in reprogramming and updating the software and applications of their brains with the same enthusiasm they do with their computers. It follows a slightly different principle and takes a little longer to download and install, but it works and it's worth it!
    You are 100% correct, I see this with my children all the time and I see my mother in myself. I need to undo rapido!

    Very good point you made.
    'Time is the space between birth and death' by me.
    Reply With Quote  
     

  16. #15  
    墨子 DaBOB's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    1,674
    Quote Originally Posted by Absum!
    My parents taught me stress, by the way they reacted to things.........

    tick,tick,tick.....BOOM!

    I learned to 'unlearn' it.

    Most of our behaviors are learned through the example of others, usually our parents.
    Anything learned can be unlearned by replacing it with something else.
    At first it takes careful conscious application, like learning to drive a car. By not reacting in the old mode, the habit of behavior gradually fades and the new conscious behavior takes over until it becomes and unconscious automatic response.

    I wish people would take more interest in reprogramming and updating the software and applications of their brains with the same enthusiasm they do with their computers. It follows a slightly different principle and takes a little longer to download and install, but it works and it's worth it!
    Agreed as well.
    Funny thing with me is I did everything opposite my parents when I was younger and now I'm ending up more like them.
    I think the reason I'm so calm about everything is because my father was MEAN! I hated it as a kid and became the complete opposite but now I'm so glad because I wouldn't have had that perspective if it weren't for him. If I were to have a child now I would be even more mean.

    About the retraining of behaviors I think you are absolutely right. When I was in high school I put a lot of effort into remaining calm in every situation I could. It takes and incredibly suspenseful movie to make me jump at anything now. I love sitting in the theatres and watching everyone jump in there seats.
    It's like the opposite of PTSD.

    The main problem I believe is that as you get older you begin to sit into certain habits and even if it would be better off to change them you feel more comfortable not doing so. The first step is to recognize the change has to be made. As you said, it's a long, slow process but it can be done.
    Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead... only realize the truth. There is no spoon. Then you'll see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself. -Spoon Boy
    Reply With Quote  
     

  17. #16  
    Forum Ph.D.
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Everywhere
    Posts
    807
    Quote Originally Posted by DaBOB
    Quote Originally Posted by Absum!
    My parents taught me stress, by the way they reacted to things.........

    tick,tick,tick.....BOOM!

    I learned to 'unlearn' it.

    Most of our behaviors are learned through the example of others, usually our parents.
    Anything learned can be unlearned by replacing it with something else.
    At first it takes careful conscious application, like learning to drive a car. By not reacting in the old mode, the habit of behavior gradually fades and the new conscious behavior takes over until it becomes and unconscious automatic response.

    I wish people would take more interest in reprogramming and updating the software and applications of their brains with the same enthusiasm they do with their computers. It follows a slightly different principle and takes a little longer to download and install, but it works and it's worth it!
    Agreed as well.
    Funny thing with me is I did everything opposite my parents when I was younger and now I'm ending up more like them.
    I did the same too and rebelled constantly, and i sound like my mum and dad sometimes as well, even now!
    The trouble is, no matter how much you try for immunity from their influence, children are like sponges especially when young when most of the 'damage' is done, and we internalize things we can't make sense of yet and don't understand.

    It's true your parents can fuck you up. The best gift any parent can give their adolescent is gift vouchers for therapy!

    The only thing you can do is be a vigilant gardener and spend the rest of your life weeding everything out and try to get as close to the roots as possible.
    But there are also some good things i learned from my parents, so not everything deserves the compost heap!

    Quote Originally Posted by DaBOB
    I think the reason I'm so calm about everything is because my father was MEAN! I hated it as a kid and became the complete opposite but now I'm so glad because I wouldn't have had that perspective if it weren't for him. If I were to have a child now I would be even more mean.
    My father behaved like a domineering, bullying, dictatorial, tyrannical sadistic pig!
    I have a lot to thank my Father for, for one I learned how not to treat others.
    And more importantly I learned how to be a better parent by not following his examples.


    Quote Originally Posted by DaBOB
    The main problem I believe is that as you get older you begin to sit into certain habits and even if it would be better off to change them you feel more comfortable not doing so. The first step is to recognize the change has to be made. As you said, it's a long, slow process but it can be done.
    It only gets harder because the groove has become deeper from treading the same path.
    Changing behaviour just takes repetition, the same way any behaviour is formed. The hardest thing is that it feels strange at first and takes more effort and energy to persevere as well as remember.
    It's like doing anything, the more you do it, the easier it becomes and before long it becomes second nature and automatic.
    One of the hardest things is remembering.

    Re-member = re-join , which basically means re-joining with yourself. Instead of following a mode of behaviour you've learned from someone else, which probably does no good! Instead you are choosing how to behave.

    Re-membering is the best way we can exercise free will and choose to be our truer selves.
    Reply With Quote  
     

Bookmarks
Bookmarks
Posting Permissions
  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •