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Thread: Psychological Response

  1. #1 Psychological Response 
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    The past week has been very trying in the wake of hurricane Rita. The experience of having to pick and choose which memories to leave behind and which to take knowing there was the possible likelihood they would be gone along with my home upon my return has profoundly impacted me. While evacuated, all I wanted was to be in my home and have everything continue as normal. Now I am home and I am considering selling everything including the house because of how close I came to loosing everything. My feeling is this must be some sort of psychological response to the horribleness of the situation. If this is so, can anyone identify what it is called? I would really like to read about it so I can find my way back to myself before I do something I may later wish I had not done.

    Thank you,
    Cyndi


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  3. #2  
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    Glad to hear everything worked out for you. I think what your experiencing is 100% natural. The same happens when a home is broken in to or some crime happens in the neighborhood. Perhaps not exactly the same but very close. You feel insecure about your surroundings and unsure of your future in the dwelling you have chosen. It'll pass. I can't tell you what it's called, fear I guess. Insecurity about your future. If you like where you live, stay. There is no reason to sell and move just because of one incident. If on the other hand it's crossed your mind in the past, then I would suggest doing so. Either way I think your confidence will return and everything will be ok. The same happens if your car is in an accident of any significance, it just never feels the same again. In your case I really think it will pass. No matter where you live you are always subject to the chaos of the world we live in.

    Best of luck.


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  4. #3  
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    i don't know the scientific or psycological reason for this but i'll take a shot at it.

    you were afraid that the life you knew would change drasticly forever and you found it to be an unpleasant feeling. hence as you said to avoid such a feeling again you wish to make the change under terms you can control.

    sorry got to go right now i'll finish this later maybe.
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  5. #4  
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    I'm glad that you made it home safely and that your home is intact. The feeling your having is called doubt. You doubt that your house can withstand another hurricane or that you might not be able to as well. This is normal and as time goes by this thought will subside as things get back to normal. It is just going to take time. Another emotion your having is concern of what could happen in the future. You can prepair for that better now, now that you understand what it is you will need to do if it happens again.

    That being said you can insure your home, evacuate earlier and make arrangements as to where to go in case it happens again.The other thing you could do is move. If this is taking to much out of you , you could just pack up and relocate to a place where you will feel safer at. That's also a way to relieve your fears. Disasters happen everywhere, being prepaired is the best way to handle anything unexpected. I always say"expect the unexpected!".

    Nice to have you back posting again and look forward to what you say. :-D
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  6. #5  
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    This sounds like anxiety and/or depression to me. The problem is that anxiety and drepression are completely rational responses to many situations, including yours. I wouldn't suggest you just trust to time to get over it; I think you should ACTIVELY start working your way through it. You may also experiencing grief; there isn't a lot of room for grief in this culture.

    Please know that I am not saying you should get off your ass, just get over it, or anything like that; I have experienced grief and depression. You need to stay very active, but avoiding making important decisions for a while.

    Modifying your behavior will help your psychological state.

    For your mental health, get lots of exercise; it's wonderful for depression and should help you sleep. Lots and lots of brainless aerobic exercise for depression and lifting weights for anxiety. Remember to stretch. And eat your vegetables [really].

    Clean everything as if you are going to sell it. That should be very satifying hard work, and a visible accomplishment; that should help your head. When you are done, you might know what you want to do. If you don't, pack everything up as if you're storing it for grandchildren. Then, if you do decide to move, you'll be all set.

    Avoid having to make simple decisions; set up a routine; tackle tasks in a pre-determined order; even buy only a few types of cleaning products [or you could find yourself crippled by indecision on whether to use spray polish or oil soap on the credenza].

    The impulse to sell everything and to start fresh makes a lot of sense to me; because there was a very real possibility you would lose everything, the natural appeal of a completely fresh start occured to you.
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  7. #6  
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    There is great wisdom in all the posts. Thank you for taking the time to write them. You are all appreciated.

    My thought is to begin implementing many of the suggestions. Cleaning does seem to be putting some normal back into things. It also is helping burn off some of this stress. Insurance, now there is some really great advice. There are not many things in my home insurance could replace though as everything seems to be more sentimental than replaceable, but knowing the house could be rebuilt certainly goes a long way. My very strong thought is when I am more myself I am going to sit down and evaluate moving to higher ground. This week I am going to sell many of the things I could not carry out when the storm was approaching. It seems like it is pointless to have them when you consider how fragile the line between having them and loosing them really, really is.

    Again, thank you all so very much.

    Cyndi
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  8. #7  
    Forum Radioactive Isotope cosmictraveler's Avatar
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    This week I am going to sell many of the things I could not carry out when the storm was approaching. It seems like it is pointless to have them when you consider how fragile the line between having them and loosing them really, really is.
    Think about that for awhile for those possesions are links to memories from your past. You get rid of them wouldn't help because they survived just as you did. Just remember that they are material things that can be lost but not forgotten if they were to be destroyed. Keep what you enjoy to make feeling normal a little bit easier to adjust to. If you still want to get rid of things think about doing so in a tear from now and see if you feel the same way.

    Thank you for your comments and try to take it easy, your home safe and sound and that's over half the battle. Your back posting as well! :-D
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  9. #8  
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    Take Note do not type posts when you have a massive headache, upon further reviewing of my previous post i have come to think the words, "what was i thinking", the only response being, "ahhh my head hurts", anyway disriguard my previous post.

    I'm Glad your ok and i'm glad your back.
    things will ofcourse return to normal after time, anyone would be worried about losing their house and the memories they have of it.
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  10. #9  
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    CosmicT: Noted.

    Wallaby: I did know you meant it in a positive light.

    Thank you, both.

    Cyndi
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  11. #10  
    Forum Radioactive Isotope cosmictraveler's Avatar
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    You might want to also go through the stuff that you have and sort out what is really important to you and have it somewhere so that you can pack it up and take it with you if you have to ever evacuate again. By choosing the best things to remember your life by you'll always have them no matter what happens. Just remember that you must choose a few things for whenever you leave you'll have to travel light.
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  12. #11  
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    Oh, one more thing; look into on-line storage for photographs and information, like your insurance policies, bank account numbers. I don't know anything about internet security, so I can't give you specific advice.

    But any little thing you can do for peace of mind and a sense of control will help.
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  13. #12  
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    Must be very frightening to have a hurricane passing over your house! As a european I have no idea what it's like. Good to hear that everything is ok.

    About your experiences, I think I have an idea of where this comes from. If there are any psychologists in the room, please correct me if I'm wrong :wink:

    The main way the brain stores memories is by creating associations with other memories. For example, a trick used by politicians to remember long texts is by associating pieces of the text with things or places they are familiar with. This is an example of conscious associating, but it also happens without you noticing it.
    So with the evacuation for the hurricane, you described that you had to go through your house and decide which things to take with you and which to leave behind. In this process you were creating associations between all those places and things and the hurricane disaster, so when you see those things now they remind you of those frightening moments.

    The only way to get rid of those bad memories seems to be to sell the house and do away with everything you have. However, I don't think thats really necessary. Once things return to normal you will do nice things again in your house, creating better memories and associations. In time this should compensate for the hurricane memories, and make you feel comfortable again in your house.
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  14. #13  
    Forum Radioactive Isotope cosmictraveler's Avatar
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    I live in Key West where hurricanes are as common as ticks on a dog. I have gotten use to packing up, shuttering up and moving up on a moments notice. I've got all of the really important stuff already packed and ready to go. To leave some of my very memorable things here hurts me but as I stated they are only "things" so I will remember them if something were to happen to them but I won't be that upset if I lose them.

    I enjoy returning to my home whenever I do have to leave if there's a cat 2 or above hurricane approaching. I feel that by leaving I saved myself which is by far the best thing to save. The house has taken a beating but I just work on it and get it back into ship shape in a few months and all is back to normal.
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    Thank you all. I appreciate each of you taking the time to respond to my post. The electricity has been out for nine hours today, which is why I have not posted. Apparently we are experiencing brownouts because the 98 degree temperature is placing excessive stress on an already stressed system (from hurricane Rita).

    The brownout today did give me an opportunity to really consider what everyone has said and to consider why I feel the way I do right now. The house has always represented security to me. When everyone was telling me to place a large down payment and finance it, I paid cash for it because I needed to KNOW I had a safe place to go. I think this may be a female thing. Anyway. When I realized the house was not a safe place to be AND it was most likely going to be either blown apart or flooded, it really affected me.

    In addition I also realized most of the things inside of the house have GREAT emotional value and I couldn't get them out before the storm. Maybe I have attached feelings to some things when really I should be doing something different with them, like dealing with the past and moving forword.

    My thought is I am going to sell the house and move inland, like an hour and a half west. There are some things I need to sell simply because I am obviously unable to correctly care for them, and perhaps it will help me to let go of what is gone.

    Anyway. I really, really, really do appreciate all the wisdom you have all shared with me.

    Thank you, Sincerely,
    Cyndi
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  16. #15  
    Forum Radioactive Isotope cosmictraveler's Avatar
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    My thought is I am going to sell the house and move inland, like an hour and a half west. There are some things I need to sell simply because I am obviously unable to correctly care for them, and perhaps it will help me to let go of what is gone.
    I hope that you can find something, with everyone also looking to move now, it might be rather hard and expensive to do so. Good luck on your search though and I hope that you find what you need.
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  17. #16  
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    This is a good point. Thank you, CT.

    My thought has been it is a very good time to sell because homes are selling at all time highs. This is good for selling my home. Purchasing a new one may prove difficult as you have said, plus it may not be the correct time to purchase a home. I do feel much better though now that I have made the decision to move. Perhaps I will sell the house and invest the money for a while until I find something I can afford in the new area. I will have to consider this some more.....
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  18. #17  
    Forum Radioactive Isotope cosmictraveler's Avatar
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    Why not sell then rent in another place? The money you make could be invested properly and pay for at least part of the rent. Renting today is sometimes better than owning a home. I'm thinking of moving into a rental sometime soon. With the prices going up and up for property taxes and insurances costing thousands of dollars it just isn't worth the money to try and keep a home any longer.

    Rentals are expensive but not as much as a new home to maintain. I guess its up to you to decide but I would consider renting if you can find a nice apartment that has what you need. You could rent your house out and use part of the proceeds to pay for the rental.
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  19. #18  
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    CTr:
    It does seem to make sense to rent first in a new place rather than purchase right away. Renting does mean no property taxes or repairs or insurance, but still I would much rather have a home. Certainly renting would give me a better opportunity to find a place high and dry! LOL

    At some point the cost of housing surely must adjust downward, at least that would be my hope. Perhaps one reason adjusting downward has not happened is simply because the US has not entered into an all out depression. Certainly recession over the past few years, but not anything that would be dramatic enough to adjust housing prices downward. This could be because America has gotten so very good at managing risk. Still I have been reading commentary pertaining to creative housing loans that may at some point initiate a downward trend. This would be a really great time to purchase a home.

    The only reservation I have about investing the money is loosing the money and then being left without a home, i.e. security. My Mom has rental property. My best determination is it is a continual source of aggravation, even so she has suggested I rent the house out rather than outright selling it. At the moment, renting the house out does not seem viable as this would not end the possibility of flooding and/or storm damage......
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  20. #19  
    Forum Radioactive Isotope cosmictraveler's Avatar
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    The only reservation I have about investing the money is loosing the money and then being left without a home, i.e. security.
    I understand but if you invest in something that is guaranteed then you would have your money in a safe place and rent somewhere while earning interest as you look around for something. I expect that there will be a downturn in the economy euther this year or for certain next year. That is when to look for a house I would think just as you stated. Or just stay put until the economy changes then go out and look around, but now isn't the time unless you need to finance your home. Interest rates are still low but they will be rising soon which will cause the housing boom to bust. People will be wanting to unload their homes for they won't be able to afford them.
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  21. #20  
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    CTr:

    I see it is cloudy in Florida today, and there are massive storms over the carribean. CTr, if I lived in Florida I would be very nervous right now. This is why you say you keep everything packed and ready to move out. Where in Florida do you go to get away from a hurricane? There is water almost all the way around Florida. Perhaps another state? I have drove through Florida on business, but I have never seen the beaches. I guess the beaches would be why people live in Florida as I hear they are very beautiful.

    What is guaranteed? Savings accounts and maybe CDs? Mutual funds fluctuate up and down depending on many things. I used to like stock only when the US was bouncing back from a recession, but now that I have been learning more about them this could change. It seems like there really is something in diversifying a portfolio as some stocks do better in recessionary times, while others do better in boom times (so to speak) I guess the goal would be to balance it enough to create a steady percentage of increase that would be larger than a CD or savings account would pay in interest. It also seems like people in the US do not invest enough in foreign stock. The other thing about stock is you have to be prepared to leave it for a couple of years (generally) it seems like before you realize a profit large enough to offset taxes (I think).

    Why do you think the economy will take a more downward turn so soon? The energy problems? This means I need to hurry and sell the house. I try not to finance anything, if I can at all possibly not do so. I do not mind eating beans (so to speak) for a weak if there is something I want in order to not have to tap into any savings.
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  22. #21  
    Forum Radioactive Isotope cosmictraveler's Avatar
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    CD's are but they have low interest but with enough in them you can live quite well with no worries except for taxes of course.

    The beachs in Key West are becoming very polluted and have been closed to the public many times when the bacteria count goes to high, which is allot nowadays. They look just fine from the shore but don't go into the water without finding out how the pollution is.There's just to many people and their waste goes into the oceans here along with the trash and garbage wastes. I'm thinking of moving like I said for the times have changed since I first moved here.

    When a hurricane of cat 2 is heading here I leave to a friends home in Jupiter Florida about a 4 hour trip. If it looks like it might head up his way I go to my friend in Atlanta and stay which is about a 12 hour trip. My home is built out of concrete which is very good when it comes to strength and durablity. Wood homes are the worst for hurricane protection.


    The Fereral Reserve Board has been raising the long term and short term interest rates and I think that they will raise the short term to over 5 percent by next summer or before due to the inflationary period we are in as you well know. The downturn is coming but as to exactly when I really don't know, but it will happen soon.
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  23. #22  
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    You could also be a housing vulture.

    Read the legal notices published in the newspaper; banks have to publish a notice when they are about to foreclose on a house. These notices have the address of the property and the name of the mortgagee.

    Drive past the property, and check it out; when you find one you like, go to the court-house and ask to see the legal filing [I think it is a public record; it is in my state]. This should have the amount of the arrears.

    Then you can contact the mortgagee and offer to buy the house out from under the bank. With tact and grace, of course.

    And, really, everybody wins; the bank avoids the cost of legal proceedings, the former owners might avoid bancruptcy and will enjoy the sense of screwing the bank, and you will get a house for less than the currently inflated market value.

    Of course, you really need to be insensitive to others' misfortunes to do this. I've haven't tried it yet, but I've seen this house I really want. If I do try it, I'll let you know how it goes.
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    CTr: It is really tragic the beach in Florida is so polluted. I am really sorry to hear it. You would think someone would find a way to correct this situation, if not for the ecology (which seems to be not taken as seriously as it should be taken these days), but even for the almighty dollar as tourists will at some point get a clue. My brother's home is made of cement blocks. This would be an ideal material for homes on the Gulf Coast, most of which are wood. As you have so wisely pointed out, wood does not hold up well in a hurricane. I am really glad you have a safe place to go to when the storms hit Florida.

    J: Wow! A housing Vulture! In the 80s a lot of people were doing almost this very thing. I remember reading ads in the paper advertising for people who were about to be foreclosed on their home to please contact the advertisor to avoid foreclosure on their homes. I think they would purchase the loan from the mortgage company and then in essence rent the house to the people about to experience foreclosure. The people purchasing the notes said it benefited the people who were about to be foreclosed on because it gave them an opportunity to stay in their home even if they would no longer own it. I do not know if the original home owners were ever able to repurchase their homes or how much they would be paying in rent to be able to stay in their homes. My guess is it would have been higher than what they were originally paying in a note. It is unclear how these people would be able to pay this rent if they could not pay the house note.

    It sounds like if you purchase the house from the mortgage company you will be the person to evict the former owners. With respect J, this is something CyndiLoo would probably not have the heart to do!

    Hmm....this problem with my heart may be why I will never have enough money to place in CDs and live off the interest like CTr! LOL

    Good Luck, J!
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  25. #24  
    Forum Radioactive Isotope cosmictraveler's Avatar
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    J....

    In that process there's a public auction for those types of properties. You are there along with many others bidding on how much you want to pay. If another vulture wants that home they can outbid you if they really want to, just keep that in mind and remember your not the only one that wants that property. Good luck though.
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  26. #25  
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    CyndiLoo ........

    You say that you own your own home now. If you sold it you would make a nice profit from the sale. You must work also, don't you? With the interest from the sold home and your income you should be doing quite well.

    The pollution comes from many sources. The cruise ships dump their waste into the ocean, they not supposed to but they do, to save fees that they pay to properly dispose of the waste. The people use septic tanks which leech into the water table and out into the ocean. There are landfills that garbage is dumped onto and that degrades into the water table also again going out into the ocean. Even ewhen sewer treatment plants are used the waste isn't totally cleaned before it is directly pumped into the ocean. New Your dumps their garbage directly into the ocean from barges that go out daily.
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    Hi CTr! It comes down I guess to whether to have a home or not to have a home as pertaining to living off of CD interest......tough choice!People on the Texas Gulf Coast complain about the cruise ships on an ongoing continued basis. They do a lot of polluting.
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    Isn't a rental apartment a home? You don't own it but then you don't have to worry about allot of things like a hurricane or taxes. You do have equity though with a house and that's always good ...to a point. If the taxes, maintainence, insurances and other property upkeep things are more expensive than what the rental can be had for then it just might be better to rent. That's what I'm going to do, at least for awhile, before I buy another home whenever I leave here.
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    Thanks CTr! Renting does seem like a viable option at least for a while. I would not want to be without a permanent home for very long. This may be a female thing, but having my own home really does help me to feel secure. In fact, I am wondering at the moment if wanting to sell my current home may pass because I have been feeling really insecure since the storm. Even so, I do think selling and moving inland to higher ground is positive and I most likely will continue on with this thought..

    The temperature has cooled down to the 80s today, so maybe no rolling brownouts. This would be a nice.

    Cyndi
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  30. #29  
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    As we grow older we don't need the same things as when we were younger. I know that some of my friends that went into a assisted living facility or ALF as they are referred to. There they get everything done for them and have the ability to do as they please also. It's like living in a hotel but with your own ktchen. They have everything done for them , maid service, laundry, free transportation and on and on. Of course all that costs more than a home but then everything is done.

    I'm going to think about that option also but renting seems to be the best way for I'm moving to another country and must look around to see what's there first.
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    Wow, CosmicT! Are you moving to a whole new country or a whole new county? A whole new country would be a really big move. New friends, new environment, new money, possibly a new language, this is a lot of change.

    My thought has been when I reach retirement age if I can aford it, I would really enjoy an Assisted Living Center. Right now there are a lot of new ones being built, so in some instances they are nicer than some homes. Assisted Living Centers are full of other retirees with similiar interests, so you would never be completely alone. You could choose to stay in your apartment or go on outings and participate in activities. One can only imagine how nice it would be to have someone else clean your home! LOL It would be my choice if I have a choice when the time comes.
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    Yes, I'm considering moving to another Central American country. I already speak Spanish so that won't be a problem. My money would go allot farther and I think I could afford a maid also. I haven't made up my mind as yet but the move will happen but where to isn't set in stone.
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    Cosmic T: Would there be someone in this Central American country you already know i.e. such as family or friends who might be able to check in on you? I could understand you wanting to move to another country if you have family in place there to assist you. What if a day came when you were not able to keep track of the finances or the maid? Who would protect you from being robbed and left on the street? And what laws would be in place in this country if this were to occur? While I can understand how money is important and how it would certainly go further in another country, your well being should come first.
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    The best thing to do CosmicT is to get with your family or your friend in Juniper or your friend in Atlanta and discuss these things with them. They know you and your circumstances and would be able to give you appropriate advice.
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    1."What if a day came when you were not able to keep track of the finances or the maid?"

    Then I would have to let my lawyer handle my affairs and the maid can also be handled by him. Where I'm thinking of going they have lawyers there and I would find one that would help me if and when that time ever came.

    2. "Who would protect you from being robbed and left on the street? "

    I can take care of myself and the same thing holds true here in America.



    3. "And what laws would be in place in this country if this were to occur?"

    The laws there are pretty good and violent crimes are very low percentages. Unlike here where violent crimes are a high percentage. There's always a risk where you live no matter how many precautions you take.




    4. "While I can understand how money is important and how it would certainly go further in another country, your well being should come first."


    I agree and thank you for being so caring about me. I can look after myself pretty good as I have been doing so for many decades.
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  36. #35  
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    Quote Originally Posted by cosmictraveler
    J....

    In that process there's a public auction for those types of properties. You are there along with many others bidding on how much you want to pay. If another vulture wants that home they can outbid you if they really want to, just keep that in mind and remember your not the only one that wants that property. Good luck though.
    Actually, I'm talking about buying the house before foreclosure, directly from the owner [and passing papers after they vacate the property]. As long as the purchase price is greater than the outstanding mortgage, everyone wins.
    Why do they want us to believe Conspiracy Theories?
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    My apologies if I have offended. This was not my intent.
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    Actually, I'm talking about buying the house before foreclosure, directly from the owner [and passing papers after they vacate the property]. As long as the purchase price is greater than the outstanding mortgage, everyone wins.
    When I read your statement it seems you were saying that the house was already in forclosure and they were selling it. That is when they put it up for auction so as to keep the forclosure from happening.
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    Quote Originally Posted by CyndiLoo
    My apologies if I have offended. This was not my intent.
    Who did you offend, not me that I know of.
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  40. #39  
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    Quote Originally Posted by cosmictraveler
    Actually, I'm talking about buying the house before foreclosure, directly from the owner [and passing papers after they vacate the property]. As long as the purchase price is greater than the outstanding mortgage, everyone wins.
    When I read your statement it seems you were saying that the house was already in forclosure and they were selling it. That is when they put it up for auction so as to keep the forclosure from happening.
    [I don't want to hijack the thread, so skip this if you are not interested.]

    I AM NOT A LAWYER!

    There is a Federal statute, the 'Soldier and Sailors Relief' statute, which requires the holder of a mortgage to publicly announce the intention to foreclose before foreclosing under state law. [see why we pay lawyers as much as plumbers on Sunday?]
    Why do they want us to believe Conspiracy Theories?
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    I wonder what happened to Cyndyloo? I hope that she has power and a blackout didn't affect her.
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  42. #41  
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    I hope she's just burying herself in lots of satisfying work; cleaning, and sorting, and packing, and maybe house-hunting.
    Why do they want us to believe Conspiracy Theories?
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    The rolling brownouts are much less frequent now. Entergy Louisiana has declared bankruptcy. Entergy Arkansas has completed all hurricane related repairs and has sent assistant to Entergy Texas to return electricity to Texas residents. My electricity is on, but a lot of the residents in the county I live in still do not have electricity. Entergy said at first, it would take them up to 4 weeks to restore everyone's electricity. Now they say it may take an indefinate amount of time to restore all electricity.

    As expensive as photovoltaic is, in a situation such as this I could see how it would be useful to have in place, providing the overage of electricity generated by such systems did not cause fires as the electrical lines that would generally collect the overage and send it through lines to the electric company would not be in place. Just a thought.

    Thank you for your concern and thoughts. They are so very appreciated.

    Cyndi
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    Another idea would be to buy a 15KW generator that could supply your home with electricity whenever there's a blackout or emergency as you have now. A 15 KW generator for most homes will cost about 3,000.00 and another 1,000.00 to install it. You'll need either propane , natural gas or deisel fuel to run it.

    Glad to hear that all is well with you and that you have power restored completly to you. Sorry that the other residents don't have power but they will in due time.
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    Yes CosmicT, there are generators all over the neighborhood! There is great wisdom (and I might I add experience?) in those words! LOL

    It does seem to be passing and I am well on my way to being myself again, although with much more wisdom (hopefully) now!
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    I'm glad to hear your doing better and I'm hoping that in a short while you'll be as good as new once again. I also hope that your neighbors get their power restored soon too. I use to run extension cords to my back door neighbors to give them my electricity to use when theirs was out.


    I've advocated the generators for years to everyone and many people have heeded my advice and thank me everytime there's a blackout. They use propane gas in 500 pound containers, usually 2 of them to get at least two weeks of constant power from the generator. If they use the generator lees then a month can be garnered out of the propane tanks. You can always have them refilled when the streets are opened again.
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    CosmicTraveler: I hope you are making plans to evacuate from Wilma if you have not already done so. It's a really bad storm and while I know you are not religious and I do not mean to offend you (or anyone) I will be holding you in my prayers.

    Cyndi
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    Why thank you, I will be leaving when I see the hurricane take a turn towards me and if it stays a cat 3 or above. I don't worry about cat 1 or 2 hurricanes for I've been through them and my house stood up very well to them before. I'm not going to stay if it is looking like it may increase in size also. I guess I'll come over and visit with you while this storm comes here...LOL! :-D
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