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Thread: Father Figure

  1. #1 Father Figure 
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    I don't care how old I am
    I don't care how young you are
    You're pretty and you can sing
    I'll make you a star
    These guys today are pansies
    They can't please a woman
    Half of them are gay
    Come be my lover

    I'll be your Father Figure
    I've got gas in my tank
    I'll be your Father Figure
    I've got money in the bank
    I'll be your Father Figure
    Come sit on daddy's lap
    I'll be your Father Figure
    I'll even learn to rap

    Wanna travel? we'll see the world
    Wanna make it in Nashville?
    Play the Grand Ole Opry?
    I'll get you a record deal
    You want a baby? I'll be its daddy
    I can do it if you're on top
    I'll even change diapers
    Clean house till I drop

    I'll be your Father Figure
    I've got gas in my tank
    I'll be your Father Figure
    I've got money in the bank
    I'll be your Father Figure
    Come sit on daddy's lap
    I'll be your Father Figure
    I'll even learn to rap

    I'll be your Father Figure
    And if you're young enough
    I'll be your grandfather Figure
    That's right

    guitar

    I'll be your Father Figure
    I've got gas in my tank
    I'll be your Father Figure
    I've got money in the bank
    I'll be your Father Figure
    Come sit on daddy's lap
    I'll be your Father Figure
    I'll even learn to rap

    Jim Colyer ascap


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  3. #2  
    ...matter and pixie dust wegs's Avatar
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    You wrote this, Jim? Nicely done, I enjoyed it.


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  4. #3  
    Theatre Whore babe's Avatar
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    Damn Jim...I'm to old for you! *laughing*
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  5. #4  
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    I'd disagree with both of you. I think it's pretty creepy.

    It certainly doesn't have any of the light-hearted uncle, old family friend, grandad cheeriness-but-with-a-knowing-wink you find in Chevalier's Thank Heaven For Little Girls.

    I might give a Maurice Chevalier type a bit of side-eye, but I'd never let a daughter or friend or relative or workmate, or anyone else for that matter, have any dealings at all with ol' creepypants in the OP until I was really, really convinced she knew what sort of bloke she was getting mixed up with if I had anything to say about it.
    "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." Winston Churchill
    "nature is like a game of Jenga; you never know which brick you pull out will cause the whole stack to collapse" Lucy Cooke
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  6. #5  
    Theatre Whore babe's Avatar
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    Adelady!! *laughing* in "Return to the Forbidden Planet" we used to call "Young Girl" the pedophile song
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  7. #6  
    Life-Size Nanoputian Flick Montana's Avatar
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    Guys today are pansies and half of them are gay?

    Yeah...really tugs at the ole heart strings...
    "Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." -Calvin
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  8. #7  
    Forum Radioactive Isotope zinjanthropos's Avatar
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    Are there women out there who would jump into the sack for a Jim Colyer written song? His words suggest a casting couch scenario exists in good old Nashville.

    I think I'll send ol' Jimbo a box of pardons or weekend passes so he can take them to the nearest women's prison and start handing them out for sex. If he can't get laid in a women's prison with a box full of pardons & passes then I'm afraid there'll be more songs like this.

    Edit: Just noticed that it is Jim's birthday today. 68 years old... happy b-day.
    Last edited by zinjanthropos; December 29th, 2013 at 10:29 AM.
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    All that belongs to human understanding, in this deep ignorance and obscurity, is to be skeptical, or at least cautious; and not to admit of any hypothesis, whatsoever; much less, of any which is supported by no appearance of probability...Hume
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  9. #8  
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    It's a universal cultural theme from Beverly hills, to the Adirondacks (remember the song "Fancy" a poor daughter looking for this "father"); I can even imagine this being sang by an Egyptian beauty swishing her long raven hair around at the limits of televised Arabic eroticism that drives the younger Middle Eastern men crazy. It's universality is why I like it. (even though I to find is a bit creepy--like some other human behaviors)
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